This is so hard

[ashleyveronica1 0]

All I do is cry. I miss my husband so much. It has not even been 3 months and everyone says it takes a year to get him here. Why is it so hard? This distance and the long timelines is killing families. all i do is cry and miss him. I feel so emotional drained and check my e-mails or the mail or the website with his number on it at least 5 times a day. When will it get better? I have no energy for anything anymore. not for work. not for school. i hate this. and i do not have the means (time off from work or school anymore) to go visit.

[Ryan H 3,828]

Moved from Process & Procedures to Progress Reports.

[chrisaivey 3]

I understand how you feel - I've not been with my wife in 6 months since the process began.

I have/am just now finishing my Bachelors in Computer Science in a few weeks, so I got that going for me which is nice.

We both have worked, and saved up a bit over 20,000$ USD - and I am going to see her on her birthday(August 25th) - yet we still have not even had NOA2 yet. I plan to not come back to the USA till the rest of the paperwork is done. If I had work, or anything else to a business with using my degree(career related) I know I would let them down on all levels.

This is a very, very hard process. Not many know how difficult it is being so far away from your loved one. I know I would not wish it on anyone, many sleepless nights. My best friend has been NyQuil as of late.

I suggest you try and cut back on spending, and in 2-3 months take a flight to visit him. Around the 6 month time, you can be lucky(his process will be done in 3-4 months more once you hit the 6 month part) or another 6 months might be added on if the I-864/DS260 documentation was messed up on a few times.

It is nearly impossible to be "positive" during these times, but I am marching my day to 6 months, 2 weeks now - best thing to do is find something to keep yourself busy - if not, this will wreck you.

[CowBoE 429]

All I do is cry. I miss my husband so much. It has not even been 3 months and everyone says it takes a year to get him here. Why is it so hard? This distance and the long timelines is killing families. all i do is cry and miss him. I feel so emotional drained and check my e-mails or the mail or the website with his number on it at least 5 times a day. When will it get better? I have no energy for anything anymore. not for work. not for school. i hate this. and i do not have the means (time off from work or school anymore) to go visit.

If either of you can, do visit.

In our case, we miss each other too, but we also arranged our lives so that we can video chat

nearly everyday...yes often I have to get by with 4 or 5 hours of sleep to make the time work

and I get physically tired...but I'm emotionally happy.

It's not same as being physically together, but we still manage to have fun

and have lots of laughter over the video calls.

And when its not convenient to do video calls, we write emails to each other

and share our life story as we are still learning about each other.

We even do online shopping together when on a video call,

and I've already bought about 10 clothing for her waiting in my closet.

If you are down, he will feel bad also.

So cheer up...because it'll be a long months of journey.

It's been 9 months for us, and still counting....

[SoufianeRebecca 0]

I know you are feeling lost. But trust me, you can do this. Find something to keep you busy, a hobby. And use this time to talk with him everyday through messages and FaceTime or Skype. It will make your relationship stronger. You just have to work at it. It's going to be the hardest thing you ever do. But nothing worth it is ever easy. Any relationship can make it under normal conditions, but it takes two very special people who know what their worth is to make it through this. You will learn more about each other with every day and be so much stronger. And when all else fails, remember that the alternative is to give up. And at least with me and my husband, that was never an option. We have been married since September 20, 2013 and I haven't seen him in 7 months. It's torture. But we know that we just don't have a choice. You are strong enough for this. Appreciate that you are given the opportunity to have a special relationship, and not an ordinary one. Best of luck to you and be strong.

[charlie0225 13]

This is one of the hardest things I have ever done also. I know how you feel. Just hang in there and try to focus on what you have to be grateful for. There are a great many of us going thu this and feel the same. For me I hate the wait but I do believe it is making us stronger. Its good to have a place to connect with others like this. Stay strong.

[joshuah57 14]

My wife and I miss each other so much also. We knew this would be hard from the beginning, but we believe our marriage and relationship is worth it. We make a point to email each other every single day. I also make a point to call her every day too, even if it is only 2 minutes. Like others have mentioned, save money if possible and visit as often as you can or vice versa. There are also little things that can be done that say "I love you" to your spouse. I occasionally send my wife flowers, a hand written note or card, or I send her a song that says I'm thinking of her. We might be old fashioned, but we don't do any video calls. Every Saturday, we have a "date". We spend 4 to 9 hours on the phone talking with each other. Through skype, I can call her as often as I like for $20 a month!! It's not always a perfect connections, but for that price I can't complain too much.

Anyways, the point is to communicate as often as possible. Lean on each other. That's what is at the core of a marriage in my opinion. All of us here are also happy to cheer you on also

[ashleyveronica1 0]

My husband is so positive about it and hopes everything will work out soon and im a mess. I have visited him 2 times but its hard because it costs over $1,500 just for a plane ticket and he cannot visit because of where he lives. We have date night on fridays where we skype for 8-9 hours without noticing how much time has gone by but im at the point where talking to him makes me cry because i just think about everything we are missing out on. I have no way to visit him because of work, school, and my internship. Work is really strict about taking time off during holiday months. so i really dont know what to do. this is so hard. i feel like us talking 24/7 really is not helping me get other stuff done. We are at the point where we cannot fall asleep unless we are on skype together and we fall asleep on skype together then wake up on skype together its cute but also sad. I am just tired of crying. I have also lost weight and do not eat or sleep as much as i used to. It is not good at all. I fee l like i cannot control anything about this situation because i cannot but i can control if i sleep and eat and i am hurting myself.

[nalacandi 11]

I know how you are feeling. I left my husband in Nigeria 15 months ago and I cried for months. I still cry several times a week because we have had delays and attorney issues, as well. Now we are in delay again because of the immigration reform Obama put in action in 2012 for illegal immigrants to have precedence over actual legal U. S. Citizens. Now all I do is worry because of the Ebola outbreak and pray he doesn't get it before he gets his approval. I never thought it would be this hard and my family doesn't understand. I have no one in my life that understands what I am going through and all they keep telling me is that it's my own fault for choosing to find love outside my own country. None of this fair. We are facing possibly several more months and or 2nd Anniversary is coming up on Dec 28 and my birthday is Nov 10 and I might spend yet another one without him. I'm so depressed all the time and I struggle to get up every morning to make it work, despite loving my job. I thought immigration wanted families together, but it feels they want to keep us apart. I am beside myself missing my husband and fear I may not see him again. I can't afford to go visit again, otherwise I would have, many times by now. I pray your husband will be here soon. It does get easier until you get closer.

[Kulfi 6]

It is really really hard. My husband and I knew it would be hard and I personally feel that I've been the stronger one and keeping him cheered up. Fortunately, we both lead busy lives as well due to our careers but we make it a point to spend 4-5 hours chatting with each other daily. Due to our time difference (he's in Pakistan), I make sure to make time as much as I can before he sleeps. We laugh, talk about our day, share all sorts of worldly gossip as well as do mock shopping online. We are constantly sharing comics and memes with each other.

Just have to stay strong. I just keep telling myself that it's all worth it at the end. I can understand it's not easy to go visit another country, I'm sure but do whatever you can. My birthday as well as our anniversary will be coming soon and I'm praying that we're at least together for the anniversary.

Oh another fun activity you can do is take him out with you. Like I Skype with him and I'll drive to the beach near my house and just sit there and chat. Makes me feel like he's there with me at the beach.

Stay strong!

[ashleyveronica1 0]

How long have you all been waiting?

[AdnanS 82]

I understand what your going through. I was at work and before prayers I noticed wife was online usually she's not, and I called her up and we chat for 30 mins and I noticed she was having a runny nose and I knew she was trying to keep it under control, I told her to let it out and I loved her a lot and all we can do is pray and wait for everything to go through, Inshallah.

It's tough being apart knowing I can't comfort her, that's where it hurts me the most.

[Kulfi 6]

How long have you all been waiting?

3 1/2 months... So far. I got married in January but was unable to apply until end of April due to getting few documents translated and certified.

[nalacandi 11]

I have been waiting for 15 months. We do talk every day and we try to oovoo (similar to skype) but connection issues are a constant battle and most times we are not able to communicate that way. Some days, I think I won't make it, but I love him and our marriage grows stronger everyday, so I can't give up. We have come too far to give up now, but this is by far the most difficult thing I have ever experienced in my life.

I want to add that it's been longer than that essentially because we had to wait several months before we could file because of money in the beginning. Now I am working almost 2 months so that part is getting easier but this is all so expensive.

[lizascissors 65]

Hang in there. It sucks. It really does. I'm counting the days until I get to have my fiance here with me, and I don't even know when that is yet!

This will pass, and in a few years we'll all look back on this and laugh at how impatient we were!