Green card

[verysadguy 170]

As an advocate for victims of domestic violence over 25 years, I am in shock reading some posts here. Mtpeelar you said ..."We don't know enough details to know if it's one time or many and what might have set hubby off that might have set hubby off to start the abuse later in marriage but I could think of a wide variety of triggers", abusers abuse their victims,because they have their moral compass broken, because of lack of empathy toward others,because of a selfish personality,nothing else! Marital conflicts is no reason to abuse someone,stress is no excuse to batter someone, drug addiction is not reason to justify abuse,cheating is no reason to abuse someone etc....People have the option to solve problems in a civilized manner. Abuse it is a conscious choice made by the abuser . The only person who should be held at fault is the ABUSER!

Sandranj is right. It is a broken moral compass. My ex was lying to my face and her entire family. She was calling her lover 5 minutes after I left the house every morning even after we had sex (I can't call it making love looking back at her behavior). I would ask her how her day was and if she was a "good girl" and she would say yes even though her phone and computer showed she spent hours with her lover online.

Did I ever hit her? NO. She bit and scratched me!

Did I ever call her names? NO

Did we talk calming and politely about her lying? NO. We had debates, but no yelling, screaming, name calling, hitting/beating/spitting...nothing.

I chose to be a class act about a horrible situation. Did I want turmoil around my child? NO.

Anyone suffering abuse needs to GET THE HELL OUT AND FAST! I know money and shelter is critical but abuse is potentially life threatening and the stress is harmful, too.

[Villanelle 4,122]

I would ask her how her day was and if she was a "good girl" and she would say yes even though her phone and computer showed she spent hours with her lover online.

Totally off topic- but this is the oddest sentence I have ever read- taking in context the author and situation. I would ask her how her day was and if she was a good girl? and she would say yes...

[verysadguy 170]

Totally off topic- but this is the oddest sentence I have ever read- taking in context the author and situation. I would ask her how her day was and if she was a good girl? and she would say yes...

???

[Gloria asamoah 8]

Hello everyone it's been two years now since my post we divorced which was a very nasty thing that happened all he did was threaten me all the time and now I'm trying to remove the conditions on the card I sent all the evidence that I had which was jiont bank statements , Facebook messges, pictures , and letters in both out names that we can had received at the time we lived together I mean it was a very abusive relation and I depended on him and stayed home and clean and cooked most of the time I don't know how to drive and all so most things are not jiont so now they sent an RFE asking for more proof but all I have now is a 2013 tax he paid in both our names, old iPhone messges from when we were dating long distance, a few more old pictures of us ,is that enough? I'm really worried I just want to move on from him!

[Gloria asamoah 8]

Hi guys I have finally received my 10 year green card so I’m happy but it’s just left with how to adjust learn how to drive and what state to move tkto

[TBoneTX 45,333]

Congratulations, and thanks for returning to post the happy update.

 

Going to close this old thread now.  Feel free to start a new thread in the "Moving to the US" forum (even if you've been here).  Explain your situation and ask for your desired advice.