4 months in the U.S. and wants a divorce

[Jawaree 718]

I am scare of many of these so-called saved women , yes there is 2

sides to every story; we all come to this forum read and form different

opinions based only on whats told...I think I have always been fair &

respectful when seemimgly a female has been , used, lied to, scammed

whatever base on whats told here....My opinion on this is that this was

no fraud marriage, (just an insecured wife) due to past experience, also

I see a tendency that certain ppl here are told to got back home & some of the

same ppl will tell another set of ppl to file vawa, PM them and go all for ppl

who has no GC , nor job and even info how to AOS, when the individual

clearly wants to remain and obtain GC (with no kids involved). I say if he

wants to stay its his prerogative he needs to man up & quit having that

low-selfesteem barracuda push him around....He definitely need to report

her abuses & the lost of his docs to be replaced

[NanaBaby 1]

Jawaree, you are right on target with this one.

[Ingrid28 69]

So what if he wants to stay in the U.S.A. That's his business not yours.

[NanaBaby 1]

So what if he wants to stay in the U.S.A. That's his business not yours.

Huh?

[Ingrid28 69]

Wasn't meant for u nan a baby, for the person telling him to go back home if it's not working out.

[bronco37 16]

Hello,

A friend of mine has been married close to 2 years now. She has his conditional GC. When he gets here, the woman is not what she appeared to be when they first met. She's very controlling. She hid his GC, SS#, and passport. She finally gave him back his passport. He cannot apply for any job. She does it for him and even the verification of employment she takes care of that. He wants to go get his D.L. but she insists that she goes with him because she will not give him his green card. She said he is going to run away like the other man she had married and as soon as he received his papers, he left her. [Now he knows why.] She is miserable and cantankerous. He cannot talk to anyone on the phone or even the neighbors. In fact she went and got him a tracking phone that tracks every text message and phone calls he makes and then fuss with him about it.

She had him believe that she is okay financially and only needed a companion/husband but when he came to the U.S. he is living worse than he was living in his country. Shabby apartment and no vehicle. Every where they go, she had to call a friend to pick them up and take them places. He feels like he's in prison. If he talks to his family members or friends, she sits right beside him and there is no privacy when he talks to his mother. In fact, she buys the calling card to make the phone call because he cannot make international calls on his phone. Sometimes after an argument she had a friend or family member of hers call him to counsel him and tell him what he's doing wrong.

She already threatened him that if he leaves her and divorce her, she's suing him for alimony. He entered the marriage in good faith but did not know he had to prove it, therefore, she has all documents including photos of them hidden somewhere. What he had in his old phone is long lost. They don't have a bank account together and she refused to put him on the lease. She often flips out on him for no reason and he doesn't trust her and fears that she will flip any minute.

The only reason why she gave him back his passport it's because she spoke to his mother and told her that he's coming home and when he went to get the passport it was missing. His mother told her to give him back his document so he can come home where he is free. yet she kept the GC and SS#. He was going to go back home without them and that's when I told him to hold on and I'll find out more information.

I commiserate w/ your friend. I also applaud him for doing whatever he could to go thru this kind of humiliation for almost 2 long years. Your friend is probably an epitome of self-abnegation if not of anything else. He is doing or has been doing everything to please the sadistic nature of this woman he calls his wife.

This brings me to the bold parts of your OP.

"He entered the marriage in good faith but did not know he had to prove it". Your friend's wife filled up the forms and filed them w/ USCIS proving/claiming a bona-fide marriage. He did not have to prove it , his wife did.

"He was going to go back home without them and that's when I told him to hold on and I'll find out more information." You seem to be a stakeholder in this.

In a real life scenario that does not involve marriage fraud for the purpose of gaining immigration benefits, a person will flee this kind of horrifying situation without dealing w/ it for 2 long years if that person ever got a chance. Looks like your friend certainly did. In reality, an abusive woman in this country can a man's entire life thru VAWA nonsense (false PO, claims of child abuse, battery etc. etc.). Looks like your friend's wife did not do that.. yet. It's hard to believe. If I were your friend, I'd distance myself from this woman at the first chance I get. Proving bona-fide marriage won't really come to my mind before finding a way to keep my ### safe and out of jail.

tl;dr -- I do not buy that story. It looks flat out marriage fraud situation to me, possibly involving both the parties.

[SennaBrigante 92]

First off, he might want to look for a different job since the one he's about to do was secured by the wife without his knowledge. Who knows what kind of connections she has to that place and she may still be able to harass and suffocate him by proxy.

She sounds mentally unstable and if it was me in his position, I would definitely go home because who knows what she will do in retaliation for leaving. He has no friends and family nearby and she will have her family and friends at her beck and call who could testify that she was a loving and supportive wife and he was only in it for the gc.

Tough situation. I hope he'll be able to figure it out.

[Jawaree 718]

OP is his friend and he mentioned family he has in another state,

its over so he decides to go or stay he did not come illegally

and as a grown man if he stays he will overcome...just get away

from her, and U R right seek his own job,anything to get him started

oppression by anyone is wrong

[SennaBrigante 92]

In a different state is still not near for someone who doesn't have a car. If his relative can pick him up and help him start anew that would probably be his best option. He needs to be self sufficient first but his wife is impeding him. Divorce can be costly.

[JessTim 10]

Hello,

A friend of mine has been married close to 2 years now. She has his conditional GC. When he gets here, the woman is not what she appeared to be when they first met. She's very controlling. She hid his GC, SS#, and passport. She finally gave him back his passport. He cannot apply for any job. She does it for him and even the verification of employment she takes care of that. He wants to go get his D.L. but she insists that she goes with him because she will not give him his green card. She said he is going to run away like the other man she had married and as soon as he received his papers, he left her. [Now he knows why.] She is miserable and cantankerous. He cannot talk to anyone on the phone or even the neighbors. In fact she went and got him a tracking phone that tracks every text message and phone calls he makes and then fuss with him about it.

She had him believe that she is okay financially and only needed a companion/husband but when he came to the U.S. he is living worse than he was living in his country. Shabby apartment and no vehicle. Every where they go, she had to call a friend to pick them up and take them places. He feels like he's in prison. If he talks to his family members or friends, she sits right beside him and there is no privacy when he talks to his mother. In fact, she buys the calling card to make the phone call because he cannot make international calls on his phone. Sometimes after an argument she had a friend or family member of hers call him to counsel him and tell him what he's doing wrong.

She already threatened him that if he leaves her and divorce her, she's suing him for alimony. He entered the marriage in good faith but did not know he had to prove it, therefore, she has all documents including photos of them hidden somewhere. What he had in his old phone is long lost. They don't have a bank account together and she refused to put him on the lease. She often flips out on him for no reason and he doesn't trust her and fears that she will flip any minute.

The only reason why she gave him back his passport it's because she spoke to his mother and told her that he's coming home and when he went to get the passport it was missing. His mother told her to give him back his document so he can come home where he is free. yet she kept the GC and SS#. He was going to go back home without them and that's when I told him to hold on and I'll find out more information.

You came here to fish for how your supposed friend who has been here just 4 months can live here legally without his wife who filed every paperwork and paid the money to bring him here. I am sure she wouldn't bother to file the paperwork and pay the fees if she didn't love him enough. It is highly unlikely for someone to file the affidavit of support that commits her to financially be responsible for your "friend" if she didn't trust him enough. Come hell or high waters nobody here knows the real thing going on except everyone is ready to take your word for it, which I will not be part of. You said the woman lives in "shabby" apartment, yet, she came up with money from the little she has to sponsor him. Just go straight to the point that you're here to find out how he can stay without the one who sponsored him. He isn't the first one who has been here for only 4 months who come on here to fish for how to live here without their sponsor and will not be the last.

[NanaBaby 1]

I'm not sure why folks thinking there is something in it for me. The truth be told if it were to benefit me, I would say go home and probably pay his tcket. That way he could run my business there. But since it's not about me. And yes, I have a place here in the US that he could come but I really would like for him as a man to seek his own way out and stand on his own feet. I have sons his age and I don't go bailing them out of their mess each time they call.

I too petitioned for my husband who I met here in the US almost 30 years ago. We are still married and still standing strong. Therefore, I know the ropes of providing affidavit of support. Yes I didn't have much and I had a job. My mother was able to put money in a bank account for me to be able to provide bank statement when the time Iis right.

When I say "shabby apt" I meant that the woman was so twisted that she led him to believe she's living an upscale life. He didn't know he had to come here and when they go out she had to call her friends to take them out.

all purchases are made with credit cards and advanced ed cash on 5he credit card.

also, there's do doubt that she loves him...so much so that she's opsessed to the point where she crazy. He's trying not to be heartless but at the same time he's in prison and cannot deal with it.

[NanaBaby 1]

UPDATE...

they will be attending counseling this week.

[Jawaree 718]

That's great, If this person was married in the Mona area

they were soo in love, wearing matching colors at time, the

story is factual, if its the same person,however he thought

it cute or the greatest love, when she would call him almost

every hour after work & all weekends wanting to know what he's

doing, that should have been a warning sign.Hope they make it

if not move in & be civil

[mtempelaar 190]

UPDATE...

they will be attending counseling this week.

I do so hope this works for them to be a success as a couple. And if not that, at least enough respect for him to get on solid footing for himself.