4 months in the U.S. and wants a divorce

[elmcitymaven 9,712]

And if he decides he wants to go home, that's his choice to make.

I'm with you on that one. To all of those who say, "oh, I'd go back, the only reason why someone should be here is to be with the person he or she loves" don't really know what they would think should they be in the same situation. My ex and I had been together for several years before we decided to get hitched so we could try something new and move to America. Over here, we lasted as a couple less two years after POE. He decided to stay, since he had friends and a fledgling career here, and he found he enjoyed living in the States more than he'd anticipated. He'd sold pretty much everything when we moved over here, and there was no job to go back to. I really didn't care if he stayed or not. Just as I don't care if anyone who came over here, having entered into a marriage in good faith, stays or not after divorce. BFD, people.

[NanaBaby 1]

There's a lot he didn't know and still in the dark about. He should have done his research. He thought he was the only one that could file for his son. She did every paperwork for him. All he did was go get his police report, renewed his passport, go get his medical, and showed up for the interview.

[NanaBaby 1]

EVERYONE: thank you for responding. Keep the suggestions coming.

MTEMPELAAR...Thank you. I will pass on the information.

[Sunnybeach7 2]

Thank you all for your responses.

Kay&Jay...I'm asking for him. I just want what's best for him and his child. His mother is my friend. He's a young man and I could very much be his mother. No other intensions in mind. And, he did not come on a K1 visa. They were married in their country and she petitioned for her husband to be here in the US.

So, if you are this woman's friend.. why can't you talk to her about giving her husband back his own things... and about the way she treats him?

This is so very odd. I've been in a controling relationship before.. I don't think I would ever be able to remain friends with someone that could treat someone in this manner.

You want to help him and if he wants to stay here.. have him contact police to come and get his stuff from him.. and provide a place to stay for him until he has things worked out that his job is secure and he can find a place for himself.

If possible I would also have him try to file for custody of the child.. I'm assuming it's both of theirs? I don't think she could make him pay alimony.. child support, I don't know.

However, SOMEONE sponsored this man to be here.. and from the sound of things.. it couldn't have been her. I'm wondering who it is.. this person could be on the line for supporting him soon if he decides to stay and needs any kind of assistance.

[NanaBaby 1]

SUNNYBEACH7: I'm not friends with his wife. I don't know her. I am friends with his mother and our family are close. His son is with his mother and no, the current wife is not his mother in his country. They have no children together.

[Sunnybeach7 2]

SUNNYBEACH7: I'm not friends with his wife. I don't know her. I am friends with his mother and our family are close. His son is with his mother and no, the current wife is not his mother in his country. They have no children together.

Ahh.. sorry.. I misread that.. thinking when you said mother you meant the mother of his child.

Still.. If I were you I would help him get out of there away from that woman.. have the police come and file a report, especially if she "refuses" to let him leave.. they could ask her to give him his GC and stuff.. I'd bet she wouldn't refuse them if they at least asked her to do it.

He needs to get out of this situation first and formost.. there is no telling if this woman will resort to actual physical abuse.. but if she feels she is in danger of losing what she wants.. she just might. He needs to be somewhere safe to get his life in order if he wants to stay here.

[Kay&Jay 44]

ITs good to hear both side maybe the women is complaining about something if she never loved the guy she wouldn't have petitioned for him.

[jphili 0]

This infuriates me, to be honest. If he came to the United States on a fiancee visa, I assume it was because he was looking for a life partner, love and mutual support, etc... you know, the things you want when you get MARRIED. If he didn't take the proper precautions before jumping into this marriage by getting to know this person he's now living with, then start over, go home, and start looking for the right partner. Otherwise, if the whole point was to come to the United States as a sort of asylum, or to find a job, or to make money, then go home and start again but using the PROPER venues.

To those saying Ah whatever stay, he's here, someone I know did this and I think it's cool they stay because by that point he/she had friends in the country...

Stop.

This dude has been under what sounds basically like house arrest, hasn't even held a job... He has no ties here apart to the person he's unfortunately married to. What's he going to do if he stays? He doesn't have a support network... Start from scratch after starting from scratch in a place where you don't know anybody? Awful plan. Go home, regroup, look for what makes you happy and not whatever.

Edited August 12, 2014 by jphili

[jphili 0]

Why stay if the purpose was for the person he loves?

You said the conditions are worst than in his country which means he left his country for the conditions not for love.

Thank you, and exactly. According to the information contained in this post, this sounds like a fraudulent marriage from the start.

[David & Diana R 1,005]

There are ALWAYS two sides to every story. I am quite sure we are not being told the entire story here.

[Janelle2002 3,865]

Thank you, and exactly. According to the information contained in this post, this sounds like a fraudulent marriage from the start.

[NanaBaby 1]

He did not come on a K1 (fiance) visa. He came on a CR1 (spouse) visa.

They got married

She immediately filed his papers. He got here under 2 years of marriage.

when he got the visa I told him to wait until after his 2 year wedding anniversary to enter rhe US that way they didn't have to spend extra money to file for the permanent green card. He told her that and she said no. You would still need to file. His wife so he took her side. In fact she immediately hop on a plane to go get him...her reason...just on case he changed his mind.

When he got here he realized that she is not who she aid she is. She made it sound like she had a great life. But in fact everything she does is on a credit card to credit card. The biggest thing is that she seems psychologically unbalanced. I tend to agree with him because of what she post on social media.

[Darnell 8,479]

Hello,

A friend of mine has been married close to 2 years now. She has his conditional GC. When he gets here, the woman is not what she appeared to be when they first met. She's very controlling. She hid his GC, SS#, and passport. She finally gave him back his passport. He cannot apply for any job. She does it for him and even the verification of employment she takes care of that. He wants to go get his D.L. but she insists that she goes with him because she will not give him his green card. She said he is going to run away like the other man she had married and as soon as he received his papers, he left her. [Now he knows why.] She is miserable and cantankerous. He cannot talk to anyone on the phone or even the neighbors. In fact she went and got him a tracking phone that tracks every text message and phone calls he makes and then fuss with him about it.

She had him believe that she is okay financially and only needed a companion/husband but when he came to the U.S. he is living worse than he was living in his country. Shabby apartment and no vehicle. Every where they go, she had to call a friend to pick them up and take them places. He feels like he's in prison. If he talks to his family members or friends, she sits right beside him and there is no privacy when he talks to his mother. In fact, she buys the calling card to make the phone call because he cannot make international calls on his phone. Sometimes after an argument she had a friend or family member of hers call him to counsel him and tell him what he's doing wrong.

She already threatened him that if he leaves her and divorce her, she's suing him for alimony. He entered the marriage in good faith but did not know he had to prove it, therefore, she has all documents including photos of them hidden somewhere. What he had in his old phone is long lost. They don't have a bank account together and she refused to put him on the lease. She often flips out on him for no reason and he doesn't trust her and fears that she will flip any minute.

The only reason why she gave him back his passport it's because she spoke to his mother and told her that he's coming home and when he went to get the passport it was missing. His mother told her to give him back his document so he can come home where he is free. yet she kept the GC and SS#. He was going to go back home without them and that's when I told him to hold on and I'll find out more information.

google search 'psychiatric sherrif office <<county name>>' and ask for a wellness visit by a staff member from the psychiatric sherrif's office.

[mlh 93]

Thank you, and exactly. According to the information contained in this post, this sounds like a fraudulent marriage from the start.

I think you might want to read the OP's actual post, rather than how someone else actually interpreted it. She is saying that his living conditions in the US are worse than in his country because of the way he is being treated.

Hello,

A friend of mine has been married close to 2 years now. She has his conditional GC. When he gets here, the woman is not what she appeared to be when they first met. She's very controlling. She hid his GC, SS#, and passport. She finally gave him back his passport. He cannot apply for any job. She does it for him and even the verification of employment she takes care of that. He wants to go get his D.L. but she insists that she goes with him because she will not give him his green card. She said he is going to run away like the other man she had married and as soon as he received his papers, he left her. [Now he knows why.] She is miserable and cantankerous. He cannot talk to anyone on the phone or even the neighbors. In fact she went and got him a tracking phone that tracks every text message and phone calls he makes and then fuss with him about it.

She had him believe that she is okay financially and only needed a companion/husband but when he came to the U.S. he is living worse than he was living in his country. Shabby apartment and no vehicle. Every where they go, she had to call a friend to pick them up and take them places. He feels like he's in prison. If he talks to his family members or friends, she sits right beside him and there is no privacy when he talks to his mother. In fact, she buys the calling card to make the phone call because he cannot make international calls on his phone. Sometimes after an argument she had a friend or family member of hers call him to counsel him and tell him what he's doing wrong.

She already threatened him that if he leaves her and divorce her, she's suing him for alimony. He entered the marriage in good faith but did not know he had to prove it, therefore, she has all documents including photos of them hidden somewhere. What he had in his old phone is long lost. They don't have a bank account together and she refused to put him on the lease. She often flips out on him for no reason and he doesn't trust her and fears that she will flip any minute.

The only reason why she gave him back his passport it's because she spoke to his mother and told her that he's coming home and when he went to get the passport it was missing. His mother told her to give him back his document so he can come home where he is free. yet she kept the GC and SS#. He was going to go back home without them and that's when I told him to hold on and I'll find out more information.

[NanaBaby 1]

Agree. There are two sides to a story. He entered the marriage in good faith. No outside relationship. No baby mama drama. (She's been out of the picture for quite

a number of years. ) He is a Christian young man who is dedicated to his church and ministry. She claimed she is a devoted Christian and goes to church regularly but unfortunately there is another side to her. And hes now learning from her friends. I know this young man and his family since he was a child and I don't believe he would succumbed to fraud. If that were the case he would have stayed in the relationship for the 2 years and I wouldn't be here asking for suggestions.

thank you ALL for your suggestions and opinions.