4 months in the U.S. and wants a divorce

[Jawaree 718]

If he has a friend he can re-apply for SS & GC and have

it go there, he should try to rent a room if he has a job or

even think about Vawa sometimes we as humans can be

so cruel to each other, ppl cannot manipulate & scheme

for their selfish desires holding another hostage, Y go thru

all that paper-work then de-masculate a man & abuse him? Do

as I say or not GC BS !...He should stay if he wants & U as a

friend should stand by him. an abuser is just that regardless

of their sex.

[nobbie 105]

I'm with Boiler on this, if it were me I'd be long gone. I came here to be with my now wife, no other reason, which is how it's designed to be. If it doesn't work out I'm off.

[Hotter Otter 1,211]

I'm with Boiler on this, if it were me I'd be long gone. I came here to be with my now wife, no other reason, which is how it's designed to be. If it doesn't work out I'm off.

Me too, can't understand wanting to stay in that situation unless the life in the US is what was desired as much as or more than the relationship.

[jerod_gavel 16]

I saw this once before with a friend of mine. If he wants to stay in the U. S. he should call the police, have them retrieve his identification, and make a report on the incident. He then has the firepower to remove the provisions on his green card status and adjust to a battered spouse (Yes, even mental abuse will count if proof is available for the situation.) Most of the time they can work with you, but you need to ask for help.

[bdawn 66]

If the reason for which he came here isn't working, ask him to go home. It saves him all the drama...end of story.

[Jawaree 718]

If he gave up job , apt and other stuff , marry in good faith & for love

he has the right to stay if that's what he wants....not because he's a

man he is being verbally and psychologically abused ...whats good

fotr the goose is good for the gander, he need to report this to the

police & file vawa B4 she lies on him for some reason...don't get me

wrong she has the right to fall out of love (if she ever was in...) but not

the right to send no one home & immigrants sometimes just want them

and their ppl sorted out, others should leave...he is human!...if this was a

woman many would be on her side..Y don't some ppl go back home

when they are unemployed & things rough?...no they ride out the storm

[Kay&Jay 44]

This story seems weird to me if the woman was so insecured why would she even file for k-1 visa for him?if so why is this friend so worried about his fiancé friend something is nt clicking here there is more into this story someone wants to get some information to keep the guy to herself instead of the woman he came to marry

[David & Diana R 1,005]

Hello,

A friend of mine has been married close to 2 years now. She has his conditional GC. When he gets here, the woman is not what she appeared to be when they first met. She's very controlling. She hid his GC, SS#, and passport. She finally gave him back his passport. He cannot apply for any job. She does it for him and even the verification of employment she takes care of that. He wants to go get his D.L. but she insists that she goes with him because she will not give him his green card. She said he is going to run away like the other man she had married and as soon as he received his papers, he left her. [Now he knows why.] She is miserable and cantankerous. He cannot talk to anyone on the phone or even the neighbors. In fact she went and got him a tracking phone that tracks every text message and phone calls he makes and then fuss with him about it.

She had him believe that she is okay financially and only needed a companion/husband but when he came to the U.S. he is living worse than he was living in his country. Shabby apartment and no vehicle. Every where they go, she had to call a friend to pick them up and take them places. He feels like he's in prison. If he talks to his family members or friends, she sits right beside him and there is no privacy when he talks to his mother. In fact, she buys the calling card to make the phone call because he cannot make international calls on his phone. Sometimes after an argument she had a friend or family member of hers call him to counsel him and tell him what he's doing wrong.

She already threatened him that if he leaves her and divorce her, she's suing him for alimony. He entered the marriage in good faith but did not know he had to prove it, therefore, she has all documents including photos of them hidden somewhere. What he had in his old phone is long lost. They don't have a bank account together and she refused to put him on the lease. She often flips out on him for no reason and he doesn't trust her and fears that she will flip any minute.

The only reason why she gave him back his passport it's because she spoke to his mother and told her that he's coming home and when he went to get the passport it was missing. His mother told her to give him back his document so he can come home where he is free. yet she kept the GC and SS#. He was going to go back home without them and that's when I told him to hold on and I'll find out more information.

YOU, I mean your "friend" should get on the next plane home. Forget about this supposed ***** and move on. End of story. That's assuming that any of this story is true of course...

[sachin1 42]

In my view you do not go back. People spends thousands of $ to come to USA.

people runs and walks for days and comes iligally to USA.

you friend is here ligally. Just go out to relative, call SS and GC people report your GC and SS is lost and get new one.

File for divorce. There is so many thing he can do just have to grow some ball.

[Hotter Otter 1,211]

YOU, I mean your "friend" should get on the next plane home. Forget about this supposed ***** and move on. End of story. That's assuming that any of this story is true of course...

nice to see someone showing their sensitive side on VJ for a change...

[Snag 57]

I think a lot of us have given up "all" or "so much" to be with the one we love in a new country. That's not new. We can all relate in some way or another. And that's why a lot of people are agreeing that it makes sense to pack the bags and head home. I, too, have been married for almost two years, and I know I would be back in my home country if my husband's and my marriage dissolved. No other point to be here except for him. The GC is green plastic to me that enables me to be with the one I love; not an opportunity to live on here without him.

[Fan_Dancer 171]

If he gave up job , apt and other stuff

Didn't we all?

I would go home even after 2 years of US if I were to get a divorce. I would still do it after 10 years, unless I have a child.

[NanaBaby 1]

Thank you all for your responses.

Kay&Jay...I'm asking for him. I just want what's best for him and his child. His mother is my friend. He's a young man and I could very much be his mother. No other intensions in mind. And, he did not come on a K1 visa. They were married in their country and she petitioned for her husband to be here in the US.

[Boiler 46,075]

Why did he leave his son?

[mtempelaar 190]

I am going to ignore all the calls for him to just "go home". Yeah that's one option but there are others. He has a new job so perhaps he can file to get replacement SS# and GC# and have it sent to the office. He needs his paychecks to be direct deposited into a bank account in his own name. Basically he needs to get on solid footing here. Assuming an office type of job, he has a bit of freedom to make calls or write emails to whomever he needs to without being hovered over, and lunch time to get to the bank, get a license, etc (after getting replacement IDs).

As for the police, yes he should talk to them, have them put it in writing so he has a police report he can use as evidence in the future (and not store it at home where she can find it). I am unsure how much they will get involved (depends on jurisdiction and local laws) but they may offer a restraining order at some point.

And if he decides he wants to go home, that's his choice to make.