Calif. lawmaker seeks ban on spanking

[Thingee 0]

Common sense parenting doesn't always work. Again, childproofing is great in most cases..but there are exceptions. My son foiled them all by 20-22 months...he could open latched cabinet doors, pry the covers off the outlets(fingers got tapped for that), foiled baby gates you name it. He's an amazing kid, and one that was never spanked really..(developmental disorder) as it just frustrated the situation.

I am NOT advocating spanking as a fix all solution, I don't think there is a fix all. Again, all children are individuals. To some a time out is not a punishment..it's a chance to daydream undisturbed...and by time out let me say I mean to sit on a chair in an out of the way place...being sent to their room just means they get play time. To some spanking is too harsh, a tender psyche can't handle it. Of my five I could tell you what is the most effective punishment to each of them..not to ALL of them as they are very different people.

[Caladan 19]

Or option C - cover your outlets and keep a watchful eye on your toddler. You want to have an ideal area for them to roam and explore that is safe for them - don't have any sharp corners, glass, cigarette butts - very dangerous, etc.). That's just Common Sense Parenting 101.

Or what my mom would have called "You have to be smarter than the two-year-old" parenting.

[Ban Hammer 13,346]

Sarcasm used instead of reasoned argument...you believe in spanking and yet when faced with reasoned arguments for adopting other disciplinary methods, instead of putting forward an argument as to why spanking is more effective than these other options you infer that everyone who is against spanking is somehow overprotective or loopy.

ah yes, the wonderful little woman who has no kids will do her best to educate those with kids. that's like a 6 year old telling an adult how to drive......

i can speak from personal experience. had my parents been lax, i'd have been way out of control. as it was, the threat of my dad's belt kept me in line for a long time.

[Peikko 1,575]

I would have agreed with this in its entireity, except that on the rare occasions that I did resort to spanking I realised, to my shame, that it I was reacting to my frustration at the situation having happened, and as it was retroactive, and therefore could in no way be said to be a preventitive or educational tool.

Common sense parenting doesn't always work. Again, childproofing is great in most cases..but there are exceptions. My son foiled them all by 20-22 months...he could open latched cabinet doors, pry the covers off the outlets(fingers got tapped for that), foiled baby gates you name it. He's an amazing kid, and one that was never spanked really..(developmental disorder) as it just frustrated the situation.

I am NOT advocating spanking as a fix all solution, I don't think there is a fix all. Again, all children are individuals. To some a time out is not a punishment..it's a chance to daydream undisturbed...and by time out let me say I mean to sit on a chair in an out of the way place...being sent to their room just means they get play time. To some spanking is too harsh, a tender psyche can't handle it. Of my five I could tell you what is the most effective punishment to each of them..not to ALL of them as they are very different people.

Edited January 22, 2007 by Purple_Hibiscus

[Peikko 1,575]

ah yes, the wonderful little woman who has no kids will do her best to educate those with kids. that's like a 6 year old telling an adult how to drive......

i can speak from personal experience. had my parents been lax, i'd have been way out of control. as it was, the threat of my dad's belt kept me in line for a long time.

Of course, the 'if I had been treated differently I would have' syndrome. You may well have been afraid of the belt, but how can you possibly say that other forms of discipline would't have worked had they been tried? The 'reformed by spanking bad buy' is more of an authority on spanking than anyone else?

Edited January 22, 2007 by Purple_Hibiscus

[one...two...tree 2,762]

Their neurological system isn't fully developed yet.

getting some 110-120v will sure make it develop

You're right and sometimes a little finger burn from putting the hand over an open flame is the best way for them to learn because they see a direct connection. However, when a parent sees their toddler reaching for an open flame and forcefully holds their hand near the flame until it hurst - that's jacked up! The child may be learning that the flame hurts but also that mommy or daddy would forcefully cause them pain. That's when real psychosis begins and if you think that's liberal mumbo jumbo, just talk to an FBI Profiler. It ain't mumbo jumbo when we have psycho paths in this world. They aren't hatched that way. Parents can really f##k up their children with poisonous pedogogy. Every parent owes it to themselves and their children's future to learn all they can on parenting and not just rely on how our parent's raised us.

so you'd rather they played with the wall socket instead of getting their hand slapped for it?

Or option C - cover your outlets and keep a watchful eye on your toddler. You want to have an ideal area for them to roam and explore that is safe for them - don't have any sharp corners, glass, cigarette butts - very dangerous, etc.). That's just Common Sense Parenting 101.

or even duct tape the kid to wall for their own safety! yeah that's it. and hey that carpet probably has dust mites in it too, don't let them on it. and rug burns oh my.

Like you said, Chuckie, each parent has their own way of raising their kids. I prefer to learn all I can about parenting and apply that knowledge.

Edited January 22, 2007 by Steven_and_Jinky

[Ban Hammer 13,346]

ah yes, the wonderful little woman who has no kids will do her best to educate those with kids. that's like a 6 year old telling an adult how to drive......

i can speak from personal experience. had my parents been lax, i'd have been way out of control. as it was, the threat of my dad's belt kept me in line for a long time.

Of course, the 'if I had been treated differently I would have' syndrome. You may well have been afraid of the belt, but how can you possibly say that other forms of discipline would't have worked had they been tried?

discount it if you wish, i gives a

i know me and nothing else would have worked

Like you said, Chuckie, each parent has their own way of raising their kids. I prefer to learn all I can about parenting and apply that knowledge.

knock yourself out then. and good luck

[one...two...tree 2,762]

Common sense parenting doesn't always work. Again, childproofing is great in most cases..but there are exceptions. My son foiled them all by 20-22 months...he could open latched cabinet doors, pry the covers off the outlets(fingers got tapped for that), foiled baby gates you name it. He's an amazing kid, and one that was never spanked really..(developmental disorder) as it just frustrated the situation.

I am NOT advocating spanking as a fix all solution, I don't think there is a fix all. Again, all children are individuals. To some a time out is not a punishment..it's a chance to daydream undisturbed...and by time out let me say I mean to sit on a chair in an out of the way place...being sent to their room just means they get play time. To some spanking is too harsh, a tender psyche can't handle it. Of my five I could tell you what is the most effective punishment to each of them..not to ALL of them as they are very different people.

Good points. Each child reacts differently. Your son sounded like a real handful. Hopefully those traits he was showing - determination, perserverance and curiosity will take him far in life. We are all wired differently.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

ah yes, the wonderful little woman who has no kids will do her best to educate those with kids. that's like a 6 year old telling an adult how to drive......

i can speak from personal experience. had my parents been lax, i'd have been way out of control. as it was, the threat of my dad's belt kept me in line for a long time.

Of course, the 'if I had been treated differently I would have' syndrome. You may well have been afraid of the belt, but how can you possibly say that other forms of discipline would't have worked had they been tried?

discount it if you wish, i gives a

i know me and nothing else would have worked

Like you said, Chuckie, each parent has their own way of raising their kids. I prefer to learn all I can about parenting and apply that knowledge.

knock yourself out then. and good luck

I already have, Charles and I'm proud of my kid's social behavior. We were always complimented on how well behaved our kids were. I was no saint - I spanked them and sometimes did it out of anger and I was really good/bad at putting the fear of God in them (I learned that from my dad), but in spite of my parental mistakes I honestly believe it was how I role modelled to them that shaped how they behave socially.

[Ban Hammer 13,346]

ah yes, the wonderful little woman who has no kids will do her best to educate those with kids. that's like a 6 year old telling an adult how to drive......

i can speak from personal experience. had my parents been lax, i'd have been way out of control. as it was, the threat of my dad's belt kept me in line for a long time.

Of course, the 'if I had been treated differently I would have' syndrome. You may well have been afraid of the belt, but how can you possibly say that other forms of discipline would't have worked had they been tried?

discount it if you wish, i gives a

i know me and nothing else would have worked

Like you said, Chuckie, each parent has their own way of raising their kids. I prefer to learn all I can about parenting and apply that knowledge.

knock yourself out then. and good luck

I already have, Charles and I'm proud of my kid's social behavior. We were always complimented on how well behaved our kids were. I was no saint - I spanked them and sometimes did it out of anger and I was really good/bad at putting the fear of God in them (I learned that from my dad), but in spite of my parental mistakes I honestly believe it was how I role modelled to them that shaped how they behave socially.

or maybe that message sank in at an early age

[Peikko 1,575]

Edited January 22, 2007 by Purple_Hibiscus

[one...two...tree 2,762]

ah yes, the wonderful little woman who has no kids will do her best to educate those with kids. that's like a 6 year old telling an adult how to drive......

i can speak from personal experience. had my parents been lax, i'd have been way out of control. as it was, the threat of my dad's belt kept me in line for a long time.

Of course, the 'if I had been treated differently I would have' syndrome. You may well have been afraid of the belt, but how can you possibly say that other forms of discipline would't have worked had they been tried?

discount it if you wish, i gives a

i know me and nothing else would have worked

Like you said, Chuckie, each parent has their own way of raising their kids. I prefer to learn all I can about parenting and apply that knowledge.

knock yourself out then. and good luck

I already have, Charles and I'm proud of my kid's social behavior. We were always complimented on how well behaved our kids were. I was no saint - I spanked them and sometimes did it out of anger and I was really good/bad at putting the fear of God in them (I learned that from my dad), but in spite of my parental mistakes I honestly believe it was how I role modelled to them that shaped how they behave socially.

or maybe that message sank in at an early age

What message was that? That they should fear and loathe me? Again, it's about role models. I believe children are resilient and tend to grow up as functional adults in spite of our parental mistakes. If you don't believe your Dad or Mom ever went overboard with disciplining you, then you, then that explains why you have such a romantic ideal of your parents and their style of punishment. I realized as I grew up that my parents weren't perfect and not everything they did was right, like smacking me in the face which is why I don't do that to my kids. That to me is the natural process of maturity.

[Thingee 0]

I can honestly say I've never spanked in anger...and again, let me clarify my definition. By spanking I mean a slap or 2 on the bottom. Hand tapping was done with 2 or 3 fingers, more an attention getting device with a tiny bit of sting. When they did get the 'hands on' parenting it was because they were up to something that could hurt them or others.

[Peikko 1,575]

Sadly, I have made mistakes with parenting. Hopefully I have learned from them.

[Ban Hammer 13,346]

ah yes, the wonderful little woman who has no kids will do her best to educate those with kids. that's like a 6 year old telling an adult how to drive......

i can speak from personal experience. had my parents been lax, i'd have been way out of control. as it was, the threat of my dad's belt kept me in line for a long time.

Of course, the 'if I had been treated differently I would have' syndrome. You may well have been afraid of the belt, but how can you possibly say that other forms of discipline would't have worked had they been tried?

discount it if you wish, i gives a

i know me and nothing else would have worked

Like you said, Chuckie, each parent has their own way of raising their kids. I prefer to learn all I can about parenting and apply that knowledge.

knock yourself out then. and good luck

I already have, Charles and I'm proud of my kid's social behavior. We were always complimented on how well behaved our kids were. I was no saint - I spanked them and sometimes did it out of anger and I was really good/bad at putting the fear of God in them (I learned that from my dad), but in spite of my parental mistakes I honestly believe it was how I role modelled to them that shaped how they behave socially.

or maybe that message sank in at an early age

What message was that? That they should fear and loathe me? Again, it's about role models. I believe children are resilient and tend to grow up as functional adults in spite of our parental mistakes. If you don't believe your Dad or Mom ever went overboard with disciplining you, then you, then that explains why you have such a romantic ideal of your parents and their style of punishment. I realized as I grew up that my parents weren't perfect and not everything they did was right, like smacking me in the face which is why I don't do that to my kids. That to me is the natural process of maturity.

that they should behave and do what they are told, steven. i know my parents went overboard sometimes and i got spanked for something i didn't do (thanks to my sister pinning it on me) and there were times i probably didn't get spanked enough. it all evened out. i'm not carrying some major grudge about it and i am very close to my dad still.