USCIS gets rid of any bridezilla tendencies!

[Autumnchik 6]

Not that I felt that I particularly had any bridezilla tendencies, but had to share this experience .... fiance proposed last April, planned wedding for this April (before we had any clue about immigration!!!) Ordered dress in November, just came in last week. Drove 2 1/2 hours today to pick up the dress. Tried it on and while I was admiring it in the mirror, my best friend actually paid attention to the details and noticed that a great majority of beads were very loose and there were threads coming undone all over the dress (I would never have noticed that!) The bridal shop first said that their seamstress would be able to fix it, but then, after looking at the dress, said they needed to order another and don't know exactly how long it will take. They THINK it will arrive before April.

As we left, my b.f. asked why I wasn't at all upset. She seemed surprised and said that she would be. Got me to thinking and realized that I am SO NOT sweating the insignificant details about our planned wedding because, well, we are not sure that my fiance will even be in the country by then!!!! Having him here and just being married to him matters so much more to me than our wedding ceremony. The ceremony may have to be postponed anyway. This immigration process really gives ya a different perspective on things

Anyone else had a similar experience?

[dougyceci 0]

Sounds to me like you have now taken on a man's perspective, or my perspective anyway. It should always be more about being married and together than a ceremony. sounds to me like the process maybe awoke something very valuable inside you. Keep it close to you and remember it is about being together, nothing more.

[sercontigo 1]

Sounds to me like you have now taken on a man's perspective, or my perspective anyway. It should always be more about being married and together than a ceremony. sounds to me like the process maybe awoke something very valuable inside you. Keep it close to you and remember it is about being together, nothing more.

If nothing else, I too have truly learned patience and how to prioritize in my personal life through this visa process. Congrats on your epiphany.

[SoL. 0]

When you cannot plan a wedding because USCIS pretty much decides the date for you then the Bridezilla syndrome is over LOL

And by just thinking on the date when our loved ones arrive to stay with us after this long and tiring process, makes some other things not as important as that reunion will be (At least for me) .

Edited January 21, 2007 by Sol-de-Verano

[Nanusia & Lukaszek 0]

When you cannot plan a wedding because USCIS pretty much decides the date for you then the Bridezilla syndrome is over LOL

I totally agree! Although some parts of this process create more drama, some take away from it... oh well, we all have lots of immigration fun after the wedding

[Autumnchik 6]

When you cannot plan a wedding because USCIS pretty much decides the date for you then the Bridezilla syndrome is over LOL

I totally agree! Although some parts of this process create more drama, some take away from it... oh well, we all have lots of immigration fun after the wedding

True! This is just the first step

[rebeccajo 14]

Weddings have changed SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much in the last 30 years or so. I personally think the emphasis on 'the big day' has gotten blown out of proportion. When you're sweating details like chicken or beef, personalized wedding favors, attendants having their hairdo's match, and the number of parking lot attendants, well then things have gone way to far.

Maybe immigration gives us time to think about the REAL reason one should marry?

[Autumnchik 6]

Weddings have changed SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much in the last 30 years or so. I personally think the emphasis on 'the big day' has gotten blown out of proportion. When you're sweating details like chicken or beef, personalized wedding favors, attendants having their hairdo's match, and the number of parking lot attendants, well then things have gone way to far.

Maybe immigration gives us time to think about the REAL reason one should marry?

Agreed! I have never been one of those girls who has planned her wedding from childhood. We are trying to keep things fairly low key. The thing that is important to both of us is being married to each other.

[rebeccajo 14]

Weddings have changed SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much in the last 30 years or so. I personally think the emphasis on 'the big day' has gotten blown out of proportion. When you're sweating details like chicken or beef, personalized wedding favors, attendants having their hairdo's match, and the number of parking lot attendants, well then things have gone way to far.

Maybe immigration gives us time to think about the REAL reason one should marry?

Agreed! I have never been one of those girls who has planned her wedding from childhood. We are trying to keep things fairly low key. The thing that is important to both of us is being married to each other.

But we still want something nice, right?

Our wedding was my second one, but a first for Wes. I wanted a few of the niceties for him. Plus I'm enough of a girly-girl that I wanted a special dress. It IS a pain trying to arrange a location when you can't set a date.

We just boiled it down to the details we felt were important to US - cake, dress, number of guests, a pretty cake topper, and a few favors.

We did have a problem with my family - Wes and I wanted to get married in a cabin about 2 hours from here. We loved the location. My sister felt we should keep the wedding in town because of our ailing grandmother. Wes and I were really annoyed at first - we felt nobody was caring about what WE wanted. Fact of the matter was it was us who needed to think beyond our own wants.

Our wedding ended up being my grandmothers last social event. That was a good day for her - she came to our 'second choice' venue of the historic local hotel. I don't love my wedding photos of our ceremony in the hotel suite, but I do love the ones of my granny all dressed up and having fun. She stuffed herself at dinner, and my sister took her home. After that, she never felt well enough again to go out. She died nine months later.

We used the money she gave us as a wedding gift to buy scrapbook stuff to make our wedding album.

Family is always there for you. The droves of people you fed at your reception will probably not even be in your life 20 years from now. Bridezilla productions are over-rated. And I've got a life experience that testifies to that.

[Irisheyes 0]

That's what it's all about Rebecca. We had a really low-key wedding also. My family couldn't be here for it so we weren't all that excited about doing the OTT 'big day' when we couldn't share it. That's the only thing that we missed on the day. We would have gotten married in a barn and had hot-dogs for dinner if everybody could have shared it with us. We did have a beautiful wedding though. It was intimate...outdoors overlooking Lake Tahoe followed by a few days of skiing, so it was far from disappointing. I wouldn't change the time that we did have, maybe later we will renew our vows and maybe a small reception with both families there when we are in a better position to organize it!

[Autumnchik 6]

We actually picked a wedding date and started some planning before we began the immigration process (I've said it before and will say it again: WE WERE CLUELESS!!!) We picked a particular date because it was important to my fiance that his sister and her family attend so we worked around their obligations. Picked a location (the church my parents married in ... very simple, traditional New England Congregational church). Made the mistake of going to Barnes and Noble one day and reading a wedding planning guide. It was amazing ... told you to pick out your dress, find a caterer, etc. etc. etc. 9 months to a year before the wedding! #######?!! Realized, whoa, that is not the kind of wedding we want and so proceeded on our merry little clueless way, doing bits and pieces here and there. We realized what was important to us for our wedding and what wasn't.

My dress was important to me, what the bridesmaids wear is not. Told them to find a black dress that suits their particular body (not going to try to fit 3 very different girls into the same style dress). Found my dress at David's Bridal.

Having an expensive reception = not important (can't afford it anyway with all the immigration stuff). Found a nice community hall to rent, will have a simple meal. My father makes wine so that is his gift to me.

Wanted favors that were personal to us .... fiance and I have found a place to buy little glass maple leaf bottles of maple syrup. Personal to us since I/we live in New England, also the maple leaf represents Canada.

Decorations, invitations, flowers = not important to us.

Consulated with an attorney who said to file in October if we wanted an April wedding. We did and kept planning on an April wedding date. At this point, with things specific to us, looks like the ceremony will be postponed.

I admit, even though I want things low-key, I do want a ceremony at the church (for sentimental reasons). Neither of us have been married before so we do want something. But the absolute must have thing is my fiance!!!

[MissStacey 1]

You gotta laugh about it, or you'll cry. I just made that my personal motto on my profile. Haha. Me and Mel have learned quickly that anything that could possibly go wrong, has gone wrong. But if all the bad things happen now, then hopefully it will all be good down the road.