Please help

[Kaori 1]

Best of luck with whatever is happening to you.

Thank u <3

[Kaori 1]

Did you apply for EAD?

I'm not sure what forms that is. I've applied for:

I-130, I-145,G-325a, I-864

[Kaori 1]

Yes, everyone including married couples sometimes need some private space for peace of mind,

but how can an "emergency" condition not be shared with the husband, and how can he not be supportive?

Something is not right here...

I really hope I am wrong...but if this is unexpected pregnancy from another man...

...

it's really bad to start out a marriage like this...and I will just save my remaining words...

Whatever it is...hope you get it taken care...

The reason why I didn't want to say what was going on is because I know that in my situation, people may not agree with my choices. Yes I'm pregnant and it is my HUSBNDS child. He's been wanting to have a baby with me for months now. I've talked to him and he does not support my decision to terminate this pregnancy.

With everything going on in our lives, now is not a good time. We don't have the financial means to have a child, we are currently renting a room at a friends mother house (space and privacy), hopeful but unsure if sponsorship goes through, neither my husband or I have medical insurance, I can't leave the US pending submission of paperwork, we are having another wedding feb 2015 (cutting it close to when I'd be due)I'm not mentally ready to have a child, my husband (though I love him) thinks he's ready- but there are a lot of changes needed to happen before we even try to be parents. I didn't know I was pregnant and fainted due to exhaustion and dehydration ( could cause problems in un-born child)

I don't think it's fair to bring a child into this world in our situation.

I'm just as heartbroken and torn over this As my husband but I know that NOW is not the time. We can have babies in the future. I know that not everybody agrees with my decision and I was against termination before I got pregnant but please try to be understanding and put your feet in my shoes before you judge or scold me.

Thank you to all that have been supportive and for all the advice. *hugs <3

Edited August 1, 2014 by Kaori

[kehills 217]

You don't have to explain your choices to anyone, Kaori–they're yours. And you especially shouldn't feel like you have to explain yourself to anyone who is going to jump to the worst possible conclusion.

I hope things go well for you.

[altonbebe 48]

I'm not usually one to chime in on this subject, but felt it necessary to do so.

What your planning to do NEEDS to be discussed with him.

There are some states where a husband can file against you for having such a procedure done.

[kehills 217]

There are no states like that. Please don't attempt to scare or threaten her with false information. Spousal consent and spousal awareness have both been ruled unconstitutional in the United States. Kaori's health decisions are hers alone.

[CowBoE 429]

The reason why I didn't want to say what was going on is because I know that in my situation, people may not agree with my choices. Yes I'm pregnant and it is my HUSBNDS child. He's been wanting to have a baby with me for months now. I've talked to him and he does not support my decision to terminate this pregnancy.

With everything going on in our lives, now is not a good time. We don't have the financial means to have a child, we are currently renting a room at a friends mother house (space and privacy), hopeful but unsure if sponsorship goes through, neither my husband or I have medical insurance, I can't leave the US pending submission of paperwork, we are having another wedding feb 2015 (cutting it close to when I'd be due)I'm not mentally ready to have a child, my husband (though I love him) thinks he's ready- but there are a lot of changes needed to happen before we even try to be parents. I didn't know I was pregnant and fainted due to exhaustion and dehydration ( could cause problems in un-born child)

I don't think it's fair to bring a child into this world in our situation.

I'm just as heartbroken and torn over this As my husband but I know that NOW is not the time. We can have babies in the future. I know that not everybody agrees with my decision and I was against termination before I got pregnant but please try to be understanding and put your feet in my shoes before you judge or scold me.

Thank you to all that have been supportive and for all the advice. *hugs <3

Ok, at least that's better. Sorry for misunderstanding.

I will share a similar personal experience...in opposite way.

When my ex-wife was pregnant, we were in early to mid 20's.

She was really happy and wanted to have it.

But I wasn't ready. My career was just starting to blossom

and I worked 1 full time and 1 part time job on the weekend.

I wanted to tighten our belt and save up as much as I can for 1 or 2 years

to buy a home and upgrade the old car that was on its last breath

before we have a baby.

I really wanted the baby to come to the world in a nice clean home

and when financial situation is much strong to best care for her.

We talked it over many many times, and shed a lot tears together.

Then finally on the day when we went to the abortion clinic,

there was a big anti-abortion demonstration with TV crews everywhere.

As we were looking for places to park, people came over and handed

us pictures of aborted babies. We were frozen solid. We parked the car,

and stayed silent for few minutes that seemed like eternity.

Then at the same instant, we looked at each other with tearful eyes,

and no words were needed...we knew then we are keeping this baby.

That child has been the biggest gift and happiness in our lives.

She graduated with near perfect grades in college, and will be the

first medical doctor in our family...in the near future.

Only if we can look into the future...

You and husband have to make this decision...

but I thought I share this story so that you can think not just now

but into the future.

I know its a tough time now... God bless you sweetheart!!.

Edited August 1, 2014 by DualityOneness

[CowBoE 429]

One more thing...this is America.

Anyone that tries can earn a living here.

If husband wants the baby, sound like he is committed family man...

unlike many men...

In my opinion, a caring father would not want his child to suffer

and it can give him the ultimate motivation to improve his income.

Taking this matter solely into your own hand only could damage the trust

and long term relationship. I really think you should engage your husband

and make it a joint decision. After all, it is his baby also...

Best wishes...

Edited August 1, 2014 by DualityOneness

[CowBoE 429]

There are no states like that. Please don't attempt to scare or threaten her with false information. Spousal consent and spousal awareness have both been ruled unconstitutional in the United States. Kaori's health decisions are hers alone.

She is not attempting to scare her. She is just reminding her to just check all facts,

like we all do for our visa processing.

Even if that's the law, that doesn't make it a proper etiquette between trusting married couple.

[kehills 217]

No, she-and you-are pulling anti-choice tactics in an effort to guilt the OP into changing her mind. You might as well be holding inaccurate protest signs. :|

It's her body, it's her choice. Period.

[NikLR 13,232]

I agree this is her choice. However she is married to someone she promised to be a family with so hopefully they can come to an understanding about her choice. I highly suggest planned parenthood and talking about all of your choices especially birth control for a later date.

Some states allow means tested benefits that do not count against the I-864 for pregnant mothers, either as yourself or to the unborn child, but this varies by state.

Also you may want to contact the USCIS if you recently filed and see if you can file the EAD for free since you did not before. This will enable you to work before the green card. http://www.uscis.gov/green-card/green-card-processes-and-procedures/employment-authorization-document

Btw I hope you meant I-485.

[KayDeeCee 4,896]

I'm not usually one to chime in on this subject, but felt it necessary to do so.

What your planning to do NEEDS to be discussed with him.

There are some states where a husband can file against you for having such a procedure done.

What states? Are you talking about civil suits? What would they be filing against them exactly? The laws in the US still state it is a woman's right to choose and she has no legal requirement to inform anyone, even a husband, that she intends to have an abortion. Do you have any sources of the law that states otherwise?

http://caselaw.lp.findlaw.com/cgi-bin/getcase.pl?court=US&vol=428&invol=52

http://caselaw.lp.findlaw.com/cgi-bin/getcase.pl?court=us&vol=505&invol=833

[CowBoE 429]

No, she-and you-are pulling anti-choice tactics in an effort to guilt the OP into changing her mind. You might as well be holding inaccurate protest signs. :|

It's her body, it's her choice. Period.

Speaking of inaccuracies, who said it was not her choice?

You reading your own thoughts between lines?

And you think discretely aborting (or keeping in an opposite situation...it's same)

against spouse's consent without mutual discussion is putting a guilt in someone?

If her husband was your son, you would cheer and support your daughter in law

to hide the facts from your son and encourage her to make the abortion decision solely?

If you were the husband, you would support your wife making such decision discretely on her own?

Really, really?

Edited August 2, 2014 by DualityOneness

[belinda63 3,047]

This is a hard enough time for her already, let her decision be hers to deal with.

[KayDeeCee 4,896]

If her husband was your son, you would cheer and support your daughter in law

to hide the facts from your son and encourage her to make the abortion decision solely?

Why would anyone cheer about making such a tough choice in life? No one even implied anyone was, or would be cheering.

I do not think the OP should have said anything here. It was/is not anyone else's business, especially not the business of strangers on an internet forum. She only posted it because you were making assumptions that she was impregnated by someone other than her husband, so she felt the need to defend herself.

If my son was married and his wife decided to have an abortion without telling him, and then we all found out later, I would respect her decision. No cheering would be involved, no encouragement to make the decision involved either. She would be having the abortion without telling, therefore no one would know about it beforehand to persuade her one way or the other about her choice. If she told me beforehand that she had decided to have an abortion, then I would support her in her decision. It is hers alone to make for whatever reasons she deems it necessary. That is the whole point of having the right to choose.

Yes, really.