Ian is really having a tough time over here

[knowledge 0]

Knowledge, I can't speak for Laura, but if I had to make an educated guess (or, just read where the words are placed in the sentence) I would say that those are two separate thoughts. I don't imagine she OR the kids are in any danger of physical harm, etc. if that's what you're thinking...(not sure that's what you meant?) *It's my belief* that she just meant he didn't really have a real reason to show her his impatient side before, and now it's very much come to light.

Good luck, Laura! M.

Michelle, you wrote you "guess, ...don't imagine"...That's why i have asked her : what did she mean by those pharses, exactly, not to guess or imagine...If you don't imagine there is any danger, it doesn't mean it doesn' exist, but again, only her can evaluate the situation in respect of the kids...I know here is not the place to debate about that...but, those who might be interested in this subject...as i have mentionned, there are studies about that...how to recognize them...because many, under control, of any type, do not/ can not talk properly about it....I can go on and on and give you some consistent input as it happens i have read those studies for years now...and have been in contact with heavy situations on this topic...I do not expect people on here to understand either....I just pointed out something that maybe has to be digged...if we care about the kids...But, this thinking can only and only happen if the person wants it...if not, nothing is possible...

Bethany, with respect with all your posts...i don't agree with the one just related to me....I do think hard when i think it's important...and try to prevent people...and i believe we all have to do...So, until Laura herself, does not give more info about the kids situation in what i have put in bold...we won't be sure but, when doubts and quite many posts go in the same direction, maybe it's something to think more about...

[Tim and Bethanie 1]

Knowledge, I can't speak for Laura, but if I had to make an educated guess (or, just read where the words are placed in the sentence) I would say that those are two separate thoughts. I don't imagine she OR the kids are in any danger of physical harm, etc. if that's what you're thinking...(not sure that's what you meant?) *It's my belief* that she just meant he didn't really have a real reason to show her his impatient side before, and now it's very much come to light.

Good luck, Laura! M.

Michelle, you wrote you "guess, ...don't imagine"...That's why i have asked her : what did she mean by those pharses, exactly, not to guess or imagine...If you don't imagine there is any danger, it doesn't mean it doesn' exist, but again, only her can evaluate the situation in respect of the kids...I know here is not the place to debate about that...but, those who might be interested in this subject...as i have mentionned, there are studies about that...how to recognize them...because many, under control, of any type, do not/ can not talk properly about it....I can go on and on and give you some consistent input as it happens i have read those studies for years now...and have been in contact with heavy situations on this topic...I do not expect people on here to understand either....I just pointed out something that maybe has to be digged...if we care about the kids...But, this thinking can only and only happen if the person wants it...if not, nothing is possible...

Bethany, with respect with all your posts...i don't agree with the one just related to me....I do think hard when i think it's important...and try to prevent people...and i believe we all have to do...So, until Laura herself, does not give more info about the kids situation in what i have put in bold...we won't be sure but, when doubts and quite many posts go in the same direction, maybe it's something to think more about...

In Lauras post she stated "the kids are here" as to a reason not to move out of state. Then she went on to say she was realising how little patience her husband has. I doubt she meant to relate these two things together. If you want to speculate then go ahead, but I think this board gets enough of that. To me Laura is giving personal details because she doesn't know what else to do. If she wanted to say her husband was dangerous around her children I am sure she would have done so it is not your place or anyone elses to fill in the blanks. She doesn't need to come back here and have to explain what she meant or didn't mean. She wants advice not guesses, she wants comfort not accusations. I disagree with putting words into someones mouth. What you are implying is not what she shared, so why bring it up? Read her post again word for word without adding to it. The only person guessing here is you. All your post is going to do is get others on board making accusations that her husband is some kind of child abuser. Laura did not say..........my husband has no patience with my children! VJ and its soap operas.

NO I don't think it is my place to "prevent people" from doing anything, especially when I have not one clue what they need to to be prevented from!

[LaL 418]

Hello everyone. I know it has been a while since I have been on and I do apologise. I have been working as a manager at Wendy's and Ian is ...well...still waiting to hear back about his EAD. I really don't know what to do for him at this point as he is really unhappy folks. He doesn't like New York state as a whole and has finally learned that yes, it is expensive to live here in NY, and now wants me to move out of state. I am all for it apart from one fact. My children are here. He is really getting bored at not being able to work yet and I have suddenly discovered how little patience he has. I remind him of how hard it was for me to wait patiently when I was over in the UK with him for 18 months and had to wait 7 months for his K-3 to go through so I could see my children again. We have filed his AOS and started all that in December. I know most of you are going to laugh and say "are you kidding me? DECEMBER AND HES MOANING!!!", I ask that you keep in mind that Ian is a worker and always has been. He hates sitting around doing nothing. I have given him suggestions of things to do whilst I am at work, but even that gets to be old. He is now contemplating going back to the UK to wait out his work card then will come back. I don't agree with that choice, but all I want is for him to be happy and if that is what will help, then I guess I have nothing else to say but to let him go. I personally feel that it would be a waste of money because the EAD card comes sooner than he realises. We did get an RFE for the I-485 in regards to the finances, but at the time of filing, I wasn't working. I know have a job that pays more than the required amount and I have sent in the response for that about two weeks ago give or take a few days. Can anyone tell me, approximately how long does it take for the EAD??? Ian is very upset because here in NY, you can't even get a state ID card without a social security number which you can't get until you have your EAD card.

Can anyone out there please give me some advice??? I love this man with all my heart and it is tearing me apart to see him so unhappy. The arguments have not been pretty to say the least.

Thanks in advance

LJ

I re-read again the initial post....Laura, what do you mean by he "loosing patience sudenly"? with the kids "here" ???(what i put in bold) ...are you reading? are you ok?...

just because two sentances and near each other in a paragraph does not equate same train of thought.

[Marilyn. 340]

Hello everyone. I know it has been a while since I have been on and I do apologise. I have been working as a manager at Wendy's and Ian is ...well...still waiting to hear back about his EAD. I really don't know what to do for him at this point as he is really unhappy folks. He doesn't like New York state as a whole and has finally learned that yes, it is expensive to live here in NY, and now wants me to move out of state. I am all for it apart from one fact. My children are here. He is really getting bored at not being able to work yet and I have suddenly discovered how little patience he has.

LJ

she never even says "loosing patience sudenly"

I hope everything works out, Laura

Edited January 22, 2007 by MarilynP

[Mags 112]

One minute poor Laura is asking for advice, the next minute her husband has been labeled a potential abuser. Charming!

[mrc 0]

Wow I hope some of you never have to experience homesickness. That's all I have to say.

ha ha...homesickness. I've been away from "home" for 17 years. "Homesickness" wears off pretty fast if you're in a place you want to be...otherwise it can be a long journey. Honestly, if he's having a tough time this closely after arriving, I'd hate to see what he struggles with if things do get a little rough down the road.

Maybe he's just a little bored. I can see getting a little impatient...hopefully everything works out.

Edited January 22, 2007 by mrc

[Caladan 19]

One minute poor Laura is asking for advice, the next minute her husband has been labeled a potential abuser. Charming!

I totally agree. What kind of fantasy world is everyone in where adjusting to a new life is the easiest thing ever?

One must NEVER EVER EVER admit to loneliness or homesickness or boredom due to being stuck in the house, because that's exactly the same as being uncommitted to a marriage, not being in love, and being a closet abuser! If everything is not automatically sunshine and daisies, someone must be doing something baa-aad.

In other recent news, apples were recently declared to be oranges. Come on, people.

[Jenn! 918]

One minute poor Laura is asking for advice, the next minute her husband has been labeled a potential abuser. Charming!

I totally agree. What kind of fantasy world is everyone in where adjusting to a new life is the easiest thing ever?

One must NEVER EVER EVER admit to loneliness or homesickness or boredom due to being stuck in the house, because that's exactly the same as being uncommitted to a marriage, not being in love, and being a closet abuser! If everything is not automatically sunshine and daisies, someone must be doing something baa-aad.

In other recent news, apples were recently declared to be oranges. Come on, people.

Didn't ya know? International couples aren't allowed to have problems. That's a sure sign the non-USC was in it for the green card!

[Fandango 1,439]

hooked on phonics!

[Ban Hammer 13,352]

hooked on phonics!

btw lisa, i found your next avatar........

[knowledge 0]

Knowledge, I can't speak for Laura, but if I had to make an educated guess (or, just read where the words are placed in the sentence) I would say that those are two separate thoughts. I don't imagine she OR the kids are in any danger of physical harm, etc. if that's what you're thinking...(not sure that's what you meant?) *It's my belief* that she just meant he didn't really have a real reason to show her his impatient side before, and now it's very much come to light.

Good luck, Laura! M.

Michelle, you wrote you "guess, ...don't imagine"...That's why i have asked her : what did she mean by those pharses, exactly, not to guess or imagine...If you don't imagine there is any danger, it doesn't mean it doesn' exist, but again, only her can evaluate the situation in respect of the kids...I know here is not the place to debate about that...but, those who might be interested in this subject...as i have mentionned, there are studies about that...how to recognize them...because many, under control, of any type, do not/ can not talk properly about it....I can go on and on and give you some consistent input as it happens i have read those studies for years now...and have been in contact with heavy situations on this topic...I do not expect people on here to understand either....I just pointed out something that maybe has to be digged...if we care about the kids...But, this thinking can only and only happen if the person wants it...if not, nothing is possible...

Bethany, with respect with all your posts...i don't agree with the one just related to me....I do think hard when i think it's important...and try to prevent people...and i believe we all have to do...So, until Laura herself, does not give more info about the kids situation in what i have put in bold...we won't be sure but, when doubts and quite many posts go in the same direction, maybe it's something to think more about...

In Lauras post she stated "the kids are here" as to a reason not to move out of state. Then she went on to say she was realising how little patience her husband has. I doubt she meant to relate these two things together. If you want to speculate then go ahead, but I think this board gets enough of that. To me Laura is giving personal details because she doesn't know what else to do. If she wanted to say her husband was dangerous around her children I am sure she would have done so it is not your place or anyone elses to fill in the blanks. She doesn't need to come back here and have to explain what she meant or didn't mean. She wants advice not guesses, she wants comfort not accusations. I disagree with putting words into someones mouth. What you are implying is not what she shared, so why bring it up? Read her post again word for word without adding to it. The only person guessing here is you. All your post is going to do is get others on board making accusations that her husband is some kind of child abuser. Laura did not say..........my husband has no patience with my children! VJ and its soap operas.

NO I don't think it is my place to "prevent people" from doing anything, especially when I have not one clue what they need to to be prevented from!

Bethanie, again, with all due respect...:

1. i have asked question about those words, which is not making assumption, to me

your statement is angry and presents confusions..In addition, you identify your situation with hers...hm!!!...

2. when you stated that she asked advice and support, i ask you: empty words of support or maybe trying to understand her reality...Don't you think that all who adviced to do voluntary work has not already been spoken before she came here...Why is that you take his part...What is it that he did that proves he helped her in anything?....

3. I am not here to convince anybody...if you do not agree, it's ok with me...but tell me if somebody found a solution on here...I doubt. Why? because the problem is more important...and here is not the place to talk about it, period!...I really don't know what to say more, i have already said a lot...

Not taking in consideration the situation of the kids, is to me preoccupying and shows lack of maturity.

[Fandango 1,439]

hooked on phonics!

btw lisa, i found your next avatar........

cheers

Knowledge, I can't speak for Laura, but if I had to make an educated guess (or, just read where the words are placed in the sentence) I would say that those are two separate thoughts. I don't imagine she OR the kids are in any danger of physical harm, etc. if that's what you're thinking...(not sure that's what you meant?) *It's my belief* that she just meant he didn't really have a real reason to show her his impatient side before, and now it's very much come to light.

Good luck, Laura! M.

Michelle, you wrote you "guess, ...don't imagine"...That's why i have asked her : what did she mean by those pharses, exactly, not to guess or imagine...If you don't imagine there is any danger, it doesn't mean it doesn' exist, but again, only her can evaluate the situation in respect of the kids...I know here is not the place to debate about that...but, those who might be interested in this subject...as i have mentionned, there are studies about that...how to recognize them...because many, under control, of any type, do not/ can not talk properly about it....I can go on and on and give you some consistent input as it happens i have read those studies for years now...and have been in contact with heavy situations on this topic...I do not expect people on here to understand either....I just pointed out something that maybe has to be digged...if we care about the kids...But, this thinking can only and only happen if the person wants it...if not, nothing is possible...

Bethany, with respect with all your posts...i don't agree with the one just related to me....I do think hard when i think it's important...and try to prevent people...and i believe we all have to do...So, until Laura herself, does not give more info about the kids situation in what i have put in bold...we won't be sure but, when doubts and quite many posts go in the same direction, maybe it's something to think more about...

In Lauras post she stated "the kids are here" as to a reason not to move out of state. Then she went on to say she was realising how little patience her husband has. I doubt she meant to relate these two things together. If you want to speculate then go ahead, but I think this board gets enough of that. To me Laura is giving personal details because she doesn't know what else to do. If she wanted to say her husband was dangerous around her children I am sure she would have done so it is not your place or anyone elses to fill in the blanks. She doesn't need to come back here and have to explain what she meant or didn't mean. She wants advice not guesses, she wants comfort not accusations. I disagree with putting words into someones mouth. What you are implying is not what she shared, so why bring it up? Read her post again word for word without adding to it. The only person guessing here is you. All your post is going to do is get others on board making accusations that her husband is some kind of child abuser. Laura did not say..........my husband has no patience with my children! VJ and its soap operas.

NO I don't think it is my place to "prevent people" from doing anything, especially when I have not one clue what they need to to be prevented from!

Bethanie, again, with all due respect...:

1. i have asked question about those words, which is not making assumption, to me

your statement is angry and presents confusions..In addition, you identify your situation with hers...hm!!!...

2. when you stated that she asked advice and support, i ask you: empty words of support or maybe trying to understand her reality...Don't you think that all who adviced to do voluntary work has not already been spoken before she came here...Why is that you take his part...What is it that he did that proves he helped her in anything?....

3. I am not here to convince anybody...if you do not agree, it's ok with me...but tell me if somebody found a solution on here...I doubt. Why? because the problem is more important...and here is not the place to talk about it, period!...I really don't know what to say more, i have already said a lot...

Not taking in consideration the situation of the kids, is to me preoccupying and shows lack of maturity.

With all due respect, methinks you've been watching too much Maury Povitch.

[w¡n9Nµ7 §£@¥€r 123]

Hmmmmmm.

[ajames79 0]

hooked on phonics!

btw lisa, i found your next avatar........

cheers

Knowledge, I can't speak for Laura, but if I had to make an educated guess (or, just read where the words are placed in the sentence) I would say that those are two separate thoughts. I don't imagine she OR the kids are in any danger of physical harm, etc. if that's what you're thinking...(not sure that's what you meant?) *It's my belief* that she just meant he didn't really have a real reason to show her his impatient side before, and now it's very much come to light.

Good luck, Laura! M.

Michelle, you wrote you "guess, ...don't imagine"...That's why i have asked her : what did she mean by those pharses, exactly, not to guess or imagine...If you don't imagine there is any danger, it doesn't mean it doesn' exist, but again, only her can evaluate the situation in respect of the kids...I know here is not the place to debate about that...but, those who might be interested in this subject...as i have mentionned, there are studies about that...how to recognize them...because many, under control, of any type, do not/ can not talk properly about it....I can go on and on and give you some consistent input as it happens i have read those studies for years now...and have been in contact with heavy situations on this topic...I do not expect people on here to understand either....I just pointed out something that maybe has to be digged...if we care about the kids...But, this thinking can only and only happen if the person wants it...if not, nothing is possible...

Bethany, with respect with all your posts...i don't agree with the one just related to me....I do think hard when i think it's important...and try to prevent people...and i believe we all have to do...So, until Laura herself, does not give more info about the kids situation in what i have put in bold...we won't be sure but, when doubts and quite many posts go in the same direction, maybe it's something to think more about...

In Lauras post she stated "the kids are here" as to a reason not to move out of state. Then she went on to say she was realising how little patience her husband has. I doubt she meant to relate these two things together. If you want to speculate then go ahead, but I think this board gets enough of that. To me Laura is giving personal details because she doesn't know what else to do. If she wanted to say her husband was dangerous around her children I am sure she would have done so it is not your place or anyone elses to fill in the blanks. She doesn't need to come back here and have to explain what she meant or didn't mean. She wants advice not guesses, she wants comfort not accusations. I disagree with putting words into someones mouth. What you are implying is not what she shared, so why bring it up? Read her post again word for word without adding to it. The only person guessing here is you. All your post is going to do is get others on board making accusations that her husband is some kind of child abuser. Laura did not say..........my husband has no patience with my children! VJ and its soap operas.

NO I don't think it is my place to "prevent people" from doing anything, especially when I have not one clue what they need to to be prevented from!

Bethanie, again, with all due respect...:

1. i have asked question about those words, which is not making assumption, to me

your statement is angry and presents confusions..In addition, you identify your situation with hers...hm!!!...

2. when you stated that she asked advice and support, i ask you: empty words of support or maybe trying to understand her reality...Don't you think that all who adviced to do voluntary work has not already been spoken before she came here...Why is that you take his part...What is it that he did that proves he helped her in anything?....

3. I am not here to convince anybody...if you do not agree, it's ok with me...but tell me if somebody found a solution on here...I doubt. Why? because the problem is more important...and here is not the place to talk about it, period!...I really don't know what to say more, i have already said a lot...

Not taking in consideration the situation of the kids, is to me preoccupying and shows lack of maturity.

With all due respect, methinks you've been watching too much Maury Povitch.

*giggle* Or a Woody Allen Movie...ever heard how many times he uses that phrase "With all due respect"???

[TracyTN 237]

I wouldn't blame poor Laura if she never wanted to post here again. Sheesh. The reading between the lines that have gone on here would have to be hurtful to her.

I hope she and Ian can work something out. Maybe its best if she keeps those details to herself, however.