Backaches, Bimbos, and Breakups

[Darnell 8,478]

Shopping report [i only write these if off, fun or funny]

We were at some huge Viet Asian supermarket in Houston - we like to go there cause it's clean, huge, well lighted, and low prices [mostly] ...

She's slinging through the isles, tossing stuff in the basket, and then gets to the meat counter,

tells me - hey ! your little brother - I want some pork little brother !

[this is a label for pork p3nis. no, I'm not kidding].

So, I talk with the meat counter manager, a Viet man, not speak much English. He tells me - talk to Eddy, the pork manager. Eddy only speaks Spanish. I talk with Eddy, say, "Do you have any pork p3nis?" in Espanol, and he goes in the back to check. He comes back, and by this time my wife is 4 rows over in some frozen meat section, but Eddy says, "No, no have any pork p3nis today - try Tuesday"

By that time, she's found what she's looking for in the frozen pork meat products section, Yells my name 3 times, and I start a running over, listening to Eddy tell his co-workers, "His wife wanted 2 kilos of pork p3nis - we should order more, these Chinese women need it in late August now" and every member of staff laughs for about 2 minutes. Loudly.

Yes, during those 2 minutes, I'm schlepping the cart over to where she is, and she points to the frozen Chinese sausage section. Yes, Gentle Readers - SAUSAGES. Not Pork P3NIS. Not.

Now, I know Chinese Sausage very well, many brands made in USA and only sold in USA. I help her pick out 3 different types, and we go home. Or Try To. The Big Store Boss comes to the checkout, talks with us a bit about ordering another box of Pork P3nis, and I tell her - I'm sorry, she really meant Chinese Sausage. Not Pork P3nis...

Ok - frivolity and mayhem-ish comments welcome

[Caryh 5,206]

I can recognise a photoshopped pic when I see one.

SAT presents.....

Short and Fat Tiff cooking......

[Darnell 8,478]

by tiny midget Chinese in Malaysia standards, I think she's about 3.5 months along. No, I've not paid attention or kept a chart on that vacuous woman, I only go by what I see (and know).

Steve, yer cooktop is exactly the same as mine. Different Venting, but same cooktop. I hunted my cooktop down on FreeCycle, and installed it myself, all told maybe 22 bucks in parts plus my time and drive time. IIRC, that's about a 1100 cooktop if /when you can find it, or 2300 new at a dealer.

IIRC

[SAT 9,609]

by tiny midget Chinese in Malaysia standards, I think she's about 3.5 months along. No, I've not paid attention or kept a chart on that vacuous woman, I only go by what I see (and know).

Steve, yer cooktop is exactly the same as mine. Different Venting, but same cooktop. I hunted my cooktop down on FreeCycle, and installed it myself, all told maybe 22 bucks in parts plus my time and drive time. IIRC, that's about a 1100 cooktop if /when you can find it, or 2300 new at a dealer.

IIRC

she's 5 months you fook......

That's a GE glasstop 5 burner. 36 inch

[Caryh 5,206]

LOL All the workers are going to be laughing all day about the white guy looking for pig dlcks. Wait I don't even know if you're white, apologies iffen you're of another ethnic origin. I always find it strange that all of the workers in the big Asian groceries around here are Spanish speaking. The checkout people are always Asian, but the rest of the workers in the place are always from south of the border.

Shopping report [i only write these if off, fun or funny]

We were at some huge Viet Asian supermarket in Houston - we like to go there cause it's clean, huge, well lighted, and low prices [mostly] ...

She's slinging through the isles, tossing stuff in the basket, and then gets to the meat counter,

tells me - hey ! your little brother - I want some pork little brother !

[this is a label for pork p3nis. no, I'm not kidding].

So, I talk with the meat counter manager, a Viet man, not speak much English. He tells me - talk to Eddy, the pork manager. Eddy only speaks Spanish. I talk with Eddy, say, "Do you have any pork p3nis?" in Espanol, and he goes in the back to check. He comes back, and by this time my wife is 4 rows over in some frozen meat section, but Eddy says, "No, no have any pork p3nis today - try Tuesday"

By that time, she's found what she's looking for in the frozen pork meat products section, Yells my name 3 times, and I start a running over, listening to Eddy tell his co-workers, "His wife wanted 2 kilos of pork p3nis - we should order more, these Chinese women need it in late August now" and every member of staff laughs for about 2 minutes. Loudly.

Yes, during those 2 minutes, I'm schlepping the cart over to where she is, and she points to the frozen Chinese sausage section. Yes, Gentle Readers - SAUSAGES. Not Pork P3NIS. Not.

Now, I know Chinese Sausage very well, many brands made in USA and only sold in USA. I help her pick out 3 different types, and we go home. Or Try To. The Big Store Boss comes to the checkout, talks with us a bit about ordering another box of Pork P3nis, and I tell her - I'm sorry, she really meant Chinese Sausage. Not Pork P3nis...

Ok - frivolity and mayhem-ish comments welcome

[SAT 9,609]

the vent is like an azz-kicking turbofan....

[Caryh 5,206]

I think she's getting the point that a loving wife cooks more than 8 meals in 13 years for her man.....

meh

I think her friends scolded her.....

meh

I think she's afraid other women are knocking on my door.....

ding ding ding

I think her own parents scolded her.....

meh

the vent is like an azz-kicking turbofan....

did you test it on someone's azz?

In 24 hours I'll be checked in at Sydney airport! Woohooooo! Anybody wanna try some Vegemite? Last chance for crocodile jerky!

No vegemite, but croc jerky sounds good.

[SAT 9,609]

did you test it on someone's azz?

No vegemite, but croc jerky sounds good.

1- no, but it'll evacuate the pot odor from your house in 2 minutes......

2- Your skin resembles Croc jerky

[Ontarkie 14,144]

Why is it that both the little ones can't sleep in on the same days. Lucas has been waking up at 6:30 it is now 8 am and Tornado is still asleep?

[Caryh 5,206]

Oh very well....but once you're a citizen, out!

Unless you start a petition for your sister or something.....then you can stay some more. But not if you don't get a nickname....

but she has a nickname, she's wiggles.

[Ontarkie 14,144]

the vent is like an azz-kicking turbofan....

What type/brand or what ever is it?

[Caryh 5,206]

1- no, but it'll evacuate the pot odor from your house in 2 minutes......

2- Your skin resembles Croc jerky

there's never pot odor in my house.

my skin probably tastes like croc jerky to, but my wife likes that.

[Caryh 5,206]

Mrs. T-B. has essentially done this, she man. In fact, a couple of months ago when I suggested that she get a job, she broke out in hives that lasted for 2 or Many days. She has it down to a science, she man.

I simply move the decimal point, see man. Accordingly, I am precisely Many.Many years old, Polish Math man.

You should suggest another kid as long as she's not working. She'll be a greeter down at the local walmart before the week is out.

[SAT 9,609]

but she has a nickname, she's wiggles.

and your nickname is "Wrinkles" lmao

[Merrytooth 5,748]

You should suggest another kid as long as she's not working. She'll be a greeter down at the local walmart before the week is out.

Or Mrs T-B could work at TBoneX favorite store, Aldi