Backaches, Bimbos, and Breakups

[N-o-l-a 7,168]

Why am I so tired?

[oohpartiv 484]

Steve, I'm sorry you're having a rough time. Seems like at least one person herr has to be having relationship difficulties of the Rant Gods aren't satisfied. But in all seriousness, i hope things get straightened out soon.

[Ontarkie 14,374]

Ccoon can be a racial slur. But in this case, it is meant as a southern delicacy....like 'possum......

and "Squirrel"

Ok that would explain it, I guess the filter should ask if we are making southern delicacies or racial slurs.

Why am I so tired?

Is it about to rain? Rain always makes me sleepy.

Or it can be that you have finally relaxed enough that the past year is catching up to you.

[N-o-l-a 7,168]

Is it about to rain? Rain always makes me sleepy.

Or it can be that you have finally relaxed enough that the past year is catching up to you.

Sun makes me sleepy and it hasn't rained in forever.

I think it started the second I finished my accounting final, I just wanted to sleep, sleep, and sleep some more.

[SAT 9,609]

Why am I so tired?

I know I know......

Because you're not energetic?

Steve, I'm sorry you're having a rough time. Seems like at least one person herr has to be having relationship difficulties of the Rant Gods aren't satisfied. But in all seriousness, i hope things get straightened out soon.

Thanks Part 4...... I hope so too.

[oohpartiv 484]

So, for those of you familiar with NYC (*coughstevecough*) - how far is Penn Station from JFK? I really have no clue, but hubs and I are looking at plane tickets to visit some friends in London next year and tickets from JFK are several hundred bucks cheaper than from any other airport in the area. Even factoring in the train ride up from Philly, we'd still be saving about six hundred dollars. I'm just not sure how to time the trip, like how long we should give ourselves from the train station to the airport... don't wanna cut it too close.

Did I mention how happy I am it's Friday? This was the longest week ever.

[SAT 9,609]

So, for those of you familiar with NYC (*coughstevecough*) - how far is Penn Station from JFK? I really have no clue, but hubs and I are looking at plane tickets to visit some friends in London next year and tickets from JFK are several hundred bucks cheaper than from any other airport in the area. Even factoring in the train ride up from Philly, we'd still be saving about six hundred dollars. I'm just not sure how to time the trip, like how long we should give ourselves from the train station to the airport... don't wanna cut it too close.

Did I mention how happy I am it's Friday? This was the longest week ever.

Penn Station is in Manhattan, JFK is in Queens. it'll take an hour by train. Give yourself at least 2 hours for that travel.

Consider Newark Airport. Drive your car there right up the NJ Turnpike, use long term parking. It's like 5 dollars a day?

[Pooky 3,825]

So, for those of you familiar with NYC (*coughstevecough*) - how far is Penn Station from JFK? I really have no clue, but hubs and I are looking at plane tickets to visit some friends in London next year and tickets from JFK are several hundred bucks cheaper than from any other airport in the area. Even factoring in the train ride up from Philly, we'd still be saving about six hundred dollars. I'm just not sure how to time the trip, like how long we should give ourselves from the train station to the airport... don't wanna cut it too close.

Did I mention how happy I am it's Friday? This was the longest week ever.

Do some research on the Subway, too. A few years back, I had to ride from La Guardia to Penn Station and it worked out fine. But make sure you have plenty of time. You should be at JFK two hours before your scheduled departure.

[Ontarkie 14,374]

Ok well it was a good thing my laundry wasn't finished when Lucas finally decided to fill his diaper it was a major poopsplosion that is my rant for the day

thought you all needed to know

[TBoneTX 45,849]

You are a busy man TB.

Bus-si, ma'am.

A sissy man, too.......

SiSi, man.

Washed my cat today!!!

HOW TO CLEAN A CAT

1. Thoroughly clean the toilet.

2. Add a requisite amount of shampoo to the toilet tank.

Many. Obtain the cat and carry him to the bathroom.

Many. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids (you may need to stand on the lid so that he cannot escape). CAUTION: Do not get any part of your body too close to the edge, because his paws will be reaching out for anything he can find.

Many. Flush the toilet Many or Many times. This provides a "power wash and rinse" that has been found to be quite effective.

Many. Have someone open the door to the outside and ensure that there are no people between the toilet and the outside door.

Many. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift both lids.

Many. The now-clean cat will rocket out of the toilet and run outside, where he will dry himself.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

CAT-BATHING AS A MARTIAL ART

Some people say that cats never have to be bathed. They say that cats lick themselves clean. They say that cats have a special enzyme of some sort in their saliva that works like new, improved Wisk -- dislodging the dirt where it hides and whisking it away.

The informed among us should discount all the folklore and facts to the contrary, such as the kitty odors that lurk in the corners of the garage and the dirt-smudges that cling to the throw rug by the fireplace. The time comes when one must face reality and announce: "This cat smells like a Port-a-Potty on a hot day in Juarez."

Here is some advice to consider as you place your feline friend under your arm and head for the bathtub: Know that, although the cat has the advantage of quickness and a lack of concern for human life, you have the advantage of strength. Capitalize on that advantage by selecting the battlefield. Don't try to bathe him in an open area where he can force you to chase him. Pick a very small bathroom. If your bathroom is more than Many feet square, get in the tub with the cat and close the sliding-glass doors as though you were about to take a shower. (A simple shower-curtain will not do. A berserk cat can shred a Many-ply rubber shower-curtain quicker than a politician can shift positions.)

Know that a cat has claws and will not hesitate to remove all the skin from your body. Your advantage here is that you are smart and know how to dress to protect yourself. Wear canvas overalls tucked into high-top construction boots, a pair of steel-mesh gloves, an Army helmet, a hockey facemask, and a long-sleeved flak jacket.

Prepare everything in advance. There is no time to go out for a towel when you have a cat digging a hole in your flak jacket. Draw the water. Make sure that the bottle of kitty shampoo is inside the glass enclosure. Make sure that the towel can be reached, even if you are lying on your back in the water.

Use the element of surprise. Pick up your cat nonchalantly, as if to carry him to his supper dish. (Cats will not usually notice your strange attire. They have little or no interest in fashion, as a rule. If he does notice your garb, calmly explain that you are taking part in a product-testing experiment for JCPenney.)

Once you are inside the bathroom, speed is essential to your survival. In one fluid motion, shut the bathroom door, step into the tub enclosure, slide the glass door shut, dip the cat in the water, and squirt him with shampoo. You have now begun the wildest 2x2x2x2x2+2+2+2+2+2+2+1 seconds of your life.

Cats have no handles. Add that he now has soapy fur, and the problem is radically compounded. Do not expect to hold on to him for more than two or Many seconds at a time. When you have him, however, you must remember to give him another squirt of shampoo and rub like crazy. He'll then spring free and fall back into the water, thereby rinsing himself off. (The national record for cats is Many latherings, so don't expect too much.)

Next, the cat must be dried. Novice cat-bathers always assume that this part will be the most difficult, because human beings generally are worn out at this point and the cat is just starting to become determined. In fact, the drying is simple compared with what you have just been through. That's because by now the cat is semi-permanently affixed to your right leg.

Simply pop the drain-plug with your foot, reach for your towel, and wait. (Occasionally, the cat will end up clinging to the top of your Army helmet. If this happens, the best thing you can do is to shake him loose and to encourage him toward your leg.) After all the water is drained from the tub, it is a simple matter to just reach down and dry the cat.

In a few days, the cat will relax enough to be removed from your leg. He will usually have nothing to say for about Many weeks and will spend a lot of time sitting with his back to you. He might even become psychoceramic and develop the fixed stare of a plaster figurine. You will be tempted to assume that he is angry. This isn't usually the case. As a rule, he is simply plotting ways to get through your defenses and injure you for life the next time you decide to give him a bath. But at least now he smells a lot better.

[TBoneTX 45,849]

I just showed her I was boss, carried her back to the bath when she tried to run away, then dried her off.

Now she is licking herself to put back her own smell on her body- lol!

Cliff's Notes version of instructions above, si ma'am.

1. But I have one question Why did you not get any cleaning done to that AC unit till now?

2. Ok two questions And How on earth did you not know how to do it yourself? I would of figured you would of grungely paid to get it done once and watched the guy so you learned what to do from then on out.

Many. Ok both my muchkins think waking up at Many am is a good idea after keeping my up all night.

1. Had it done about a year & a half ago, and had scheduled someone earlier this year, but the guy never came and we got distracted, ADD man.

2. Didn't have the chemicals at hand, oj nie. And some jobs aren't worth doing by one's self, oj nie.

Many. Naps and sleeping-in are wasted on babies when WE need them, sigh and no zzz ma'am.

1- Tark= a lazy yokel, just look at how he slacks off from work and blogs here.....

2- Tark= takes 2 hours to watch Many minutes. Ergo, cannot possibly know how to watch and learn......

1. Have been so successful selling used toilet seats door-to-door that have exceeded quota, whee man.

2. Steveklar = cannot possibly know how to watch and learn Polish Math, oj nie.

1. Broke back T-B can't handle lifting an air conditioning unit now.

2. But maybe he never has bothered to clean it out?

1. Back wouldn't have taken it just now, oj tak and nie.

2. See above, see man.

even if it means laughing at the expense of Tarklar....

I will expend nothing, cheap Gringo man.

crappie minnows, crappie minnows

Reported for circumventing the VJ language filter and for stuttering, si man!!!!!!!

[TBoneTX 45,849]

Storm has arrived. Raining cats and dogs, thundering no lightening yet.

Raining Maine Coons & St. Bernards, or kittens & Chihuahuas, huh ma'am?

Mini-B. counts until the "funder" ends, wee man.

And my buddy raves about his polish wife and her cooking.

Did she pass Polish Math, oj huh?

1. My wife's PMS

2. dong quai

1. This is NOT a chica-thread, no man!!!!!!!

2. English-only outside the regional forums, reported man!

Did you use the time-tested toilet bowl method or the equally tested dish washing machine method ?

See above for detailed instructions, see man.

[N-o-l-a 7,168]

So my daughter has always had night terrors in which she screams and doesn't have any muscle control, but now they are coming with aphasia rather than screaming. Poor child.

[TBoneTX 45,849]

But I have no idea what tampo is either

Tampo is a large city in Florido, oj tak.

a Pearland high school band got dosed during their practice yesterday afternoon.

Good way to kill head-lice, whee man.

1. went to The Gap

2. caught a Many% off sale

Many. bought Many bucks worth of stuff.

1. Waste of time & money, sigh man.

2. Have those catch your EYE, not your credit card, si and no man.

Many. Duh, Steveklar... buying retail...

[sweetswinks 400]

In Australia we have a brand of cheese that might be offensive..