Backaches, Bimbos, and Breakups

[SAT 9,609]

I can see it but I would have to google spell check if theirs a mistake. I can't tell most of the time.

Night Steve sleep well.

Haha I just had hubby point it out to me.

The hillbilly knows how to spell?

I slept last night and this afternoon. LOL!

I am so tired.

And there is talk of maybe snow next week.

Lazy.....

[Darnell 8,478]

JadaRina of St. Basil's -

Just checking in - I pray that all goes well for you next week. I, too, am transitioning next week, not looking forward to it, at all.

[SAT 9,609]

Why, what's going on?

[N-o-l-a 7,167]

Why, what's going on?

They are getting divorced silly.

[SAT 9,609]

Oh I was thinking something changed

[Kathryn41 3,205]

K., this is absolutely gripping! So what happened next?

There are many stories in the naked city . . . each individual has their own personal ending

[JTB11 1,079]

JadaRina of St. Basil's -

Just checking in - I pray that all goes well for you next week. I, too, am transitioning next week, not looking forward to it, at all.

Good luck to you Darnell ! May all go as well as possible for you....

[JTB11 1,079]

so I slightly lost it today since we were in the car going to get groceries with FIL (MIL sleeping, soon to be ex hubs playing games) ....and FIL tells me that he has no money for their vacation in VT next week or week after...anyways....so I go..."well isn't hubs going too ? he will be paying half the gas correct ?"....he tells me "no, he buys pizza"......it sent me off into a deep angry mode lol SO i told him that I need to speak up only this time and that I won't ever speak of it again and so I did....." I told him I did not understand and never will how he and MIL can keep treating their son as if he were a child and catering to his every need and making him irresponsible brat and that our marriage had failed because they made him believe that everything revolves around him and his happiness and that he should have no responsibilities in his life and expected me to do everything for him while he sat on his butt which is how they raised him....or did not raise him at all really."

He had nothing to say and I told him nothing was necessary I just needed to let it out of my system. I feel bad because I did not want to make him feel guilty since it seems like something he fights with quite a lot but for goodness sake...tell your son to get off his ### and start paying half the bills, half the groceries and at least a 3rd of the mortgage and buy his own effin clothes and wash his dirty s...hit and what not. Oh...grumble.

[NikLR 13,227]

It was likely something he needed to hear BUT something that should have been said when you were leaving, not while you're still living there. WHY are you still living there?

[JTB11 1,079]

It was likely something he needed to hear BUT something that should have been said when you were leaving, not while you're still living there. WHY are you still living there?

things are slow.

He is not mad at me I was not mean I simply needed to voice my opinion and he gets it and knows it is the truth. If I told MIL that would be different.

[NikLR 13,227]

BTW, stop making yourself feel guilty about using your ex's money. I know WHY you feel this way and have felt this way, but this was a joint partnership, a marriage, and he didn't put in the effort. If hubs and I ever broke up, he has said he will make sure I can get to where I need to go, financially etc... My ex also did the same thing. Granted my ex was a controlling azz about it but he helped me move none-the-less. While you like to stand on your own two feet and do it yourself, there is no shame in also taking what is owed to you. And yes, HE OWES YOU THE COST OF YOU MOVING TO THE USA! He should have paid for ALL of that. ALL OF IT. Why? Because he wanted you here, with him, because he said he loved you, and you believed him because you had no reason not to.

Hubs paid for ALL of my immigration. He paid for all but one of my plane tickets for visiting. (And in the end paid for 1/2 of that too.) He paid for his plane tickets. It was out of pocket for him, even when he wasn't working because he wanted me here.

things are slow.

He is not mad at me I was not mean I simply needed to voice my opinion and he gets it and knows it is the truth. If I told MIL that would be different.

I wouldn't think he would be mad at you either, but it's a bit of a guilt trip to lay on someone. Not that it wasn't needed or truthful, but still, a bit of a trip. JMO of course.

[JTB11 1,079]

BTW, stop making yourself feel guilty about using your ex's money. I know WHY you feel this way and have felt this way, but this was a joint partnership, a marriage, and he didn't put in the effort. If hubs and I ever broke up, he has said he will make sure I can get to where I need to go, financially etc... My ex also did the same thing. Granted my ex was a controlling azz about it but he helped me move none-the-less. While you like to stand on your own two feet and do it yourself, there is no shame in also taking what is owed to you. And yes, HE OWES YOU THE COST OF YOU MOVING TO THE USA! He should have paid for ALL of that. ALL OF IT. Why? Because he wanted you here, with him, because he said he loved you, and you believed him because you had no reason not to.

Hubs paid for ALL of my immigration. He paid for all but one of my plane tickets for visiting. (And in the end paid for 1/2 of that too.) He paid for his plane tickets. It was out of pocket for him, even when he wasn't working because he wanted me here.

I wouldn't think he would be mad at you either, but it's a bit of a guilt trip to lay on someone. Not that it wasn't needed or truthful, but still, a bit of a trip. JMO of course.

you are right about the guilt trip. I think I am angry about hubs getting to slide and go on vacation cost free while I am struggling to figure out how to move and where to live and how to pay deposit or get a car or anything in the house. FIL may have been in the wrong place at the wrong time and since hubs seems to not know what is the right thing to do I needed to tell someone. Ok now i feel bad and will go apologize to FIL about it cause you are right.

You know for the part where I paid for everything except for him paying half the AOS since I had no money...I blame me too...I could have pushed him and forced him to do it...it is not that he would say no but i would hear it in an argument over something unrelated later or as a joke in front of his family and then I would feel horrible so i opted to not say anything and just kept borrowing money from my sister. At this stage she gets the house and I don't care really but yes....I take part of that blame too for not being more assertive ? or maybe more firm with him ? direct ? pushy ? thick skinned ? whichever one..or not marrying an adult but essentially a child....ya that's the big one right there.

[SAT 9,609]

Tiff did one better.....

She expected me to pay for everything lol......

[SAT 9,609]

so I slightly lost it today since we were in the car going to get groceries with FIL (MIL sleeping, soon to be ex hubs playing games) ....and FIL tells me that he has no money for their vacation in VT next week or week after...anyways....so I go..."well isn't hubs going too ? he will be paying half the gas correct ?"....he tells me "no, he buys pizza"......it sent me off into a deep angry mode lol SO i told him that I need to speak up only this time and that I won't ever speak of it again and so I did....." I told him I did not understand and never will how he and MIL can keep treating their son as if he were a child and catering to his every need and making him irresponsible brat and that our marriage had failed because they made him believe that everything revolves around him and his happiness and that he should have no responsibilities in his life and expected me to do everything for him while he sat on his butt which is how they raised him....or did not raise him at all really."

He had nothing to say and I told him nothing was necessary I just needed to let it out of my system. I feel bad because I did not want to make him feel guilty since it seems like something he fights with quite a lot but for goodness sake...tell your son to get off his ### and start paying half the bills, half the groceries and at least a 3rd of the mortgage and buy his own effin clothes and wash his dirty s...hit and what not. Oh...grumble.

J you ever thought of this? If he wasn't this way, he might have actually found a woman here, and not needed a sucker like you?

[N-o-l-a 7,167]

J you ever thought of this? If he wasn't this way, he might have actually found a woman here, and not needed a sucker like you?

One could say that of any of us with foreign spouses, could they not?