Things to remember to tell your SO when they arrive

[Sofiyya 1,687]

It IS worth saving and the way I see it, this forum is not in any danger anyway. There is no 'us against them' here. Only in the minds of a few. Some very strong bonds have been formed during the visa struggle. Bonds that will stand up against this latest in a long string of threads gone bad. This forum is important to so many people. It would be a shame to see it closed or changed because of a handful of troublemakers.

The troublemakers are among the bonders, too.

My suggestion to the ones that perpetuate agruements here, grow up. With the bickering going on, we might miss someone that really needs help. That is the part that bothers me. For example, there are 3 new ladies here with Jordanian husbands. I would like to be available to answer their questions, but due to dragging my azz thru the mud, I might miss an oppurtunity to help when needed. Take the garbage to Off Topic, or face the consequences.

Jackie

You HAVE missed people. I PM them off the board to answer their questions. They thank me and come back to me for more help. Do what you want others to do and don't engage in intimidation.

[Sofiyya 1,687]

You're so busy defending yourselves, you can't see the damage YOU do.

Sorry, it's not all about me being a problem. I have every right to respond to jackie's post, and so I did. Pile on, plie on.

So then why don't you tell us? What is the solution? What is your goal here? We heard what you have to say, we disagree, NOW WHAT?

No deliberation involved in what has been disagreed with. You dismiss the newbie, proclaim me the bad guy, and tell me I can't respond to posts that perpetuate this debate. That should have done it, right? I should have put my tail between my legs and crawled away by now.

Oh, and there's no insult to saying that people who disagree with you just want to destroy this forum.

Edited January 26, 2007 by Green-eyed girl

[jordanianprincess 0]

You're so busy defending yourselves, you can't see the damage YOU do.

Sorry, it's not all about me being a problem. I have every right to respond to jackie's post, and so I did. Pile on, plie on.

So then why don't you tell us? What is the solution? What is your goal here? We heard what you have to say, we disagree, NOW WHAT?

No deliberation involved in what has been disagreed with. You dismiss the newbie, proclaim me the bad guy, and tell me I can't respond to posts that perpetuate this debate. That should have done it, right? I should have put my tail between my legs and crawled away by now.

Oh, and there's no insult to saying that people who disagree with you just want to destroy this forum.

You are just unreal. First of all, I never dismissed any newbies, I didn't call you a bad guy, and I didn't tell you not respond to any posts

Do you just want to keep fighting or do you have a solution to the problem? I am totally at a loss for words here, you are trying to portray yourself as a victim here when its clear as day that you are not. What is your goal here? You want us to say there is a clique? There is no clique, get over it.

You're so busy defending yourselves, you can't see the damage YOU do.

Sorry, it's not all about me being a problem. I have every right to respond to jackie's post, and so I did. Pile on, plie on.

So then why don't you tell us? What is the solution? What is your goal here? We heard what you have to say, we disagree, NOW WHAT?

Oh, and there's no insult to saying that people who disagree with you just want to destroy this forum.

How is one to think any other way? You are completly focused on fighting in this thread. You are not contributing to any other thread, its seems that drama follows you everywhere you go. If you were contributing maybe people would think otherwise, but I guess since Jackie said that, she must be a clique member now too.

[Sofiyya 1,687]

You complained about me responding to Jackies post, told brnidokiegurl that she hasn't been here long enough to know anything, and said that the only problem here is me. Please read your own posts.

I'm not a victim, don't think like one, and won't become one.

How is one to think any other way? You are completly focused on fighting in this thread. You are not contributing to any other thread, its seems that drama follows you everywhere you go. If you were contributing maybe people would think otherwise, but I guess since Jackie said that, she must be a clique member now too.

Two threads were closed yesterday, YOU, not I, were fighting in both of them. I didn't even post in them at all.

No more need be said.

Hint, you can stop at any time.

Edited January 26, 2007 by Green-eyed girl

[jordanianprincess 0]

You complained about me responding to Jackies post, told brnidokiegurl that she hasn't been here long enough to know anything, and said that the only problem here is me. Please read your own posts.

I'm not a victim, don't think like one, and won't become one.

I complained that you responded to Jackies post? WHERE? What I said to brdidokiegirl was with full respect and you are taking a portion of out of context. I have never dismissed her or any other newbie. YOU ARE THE ONLY PROBLEM HERE, everyone else just wants to get along and you want to keep fighting.

You may not think you are victim, but its clear from your posts that act like one. I'm not the only one that feels this but then it must be that clique thing, right?

[~Jackie~ 30]

I am my own clique. I closed the membership doors a LONG time ago. When I view my thoughts on surviving marriage to a MENA man, some of my closest buddies here cringe...lol I appreciate the fact that I can post my opinion, then we can all go into vj chat and watch a tv show together and laugh for hours. They don't hold a post or two against me.

I do have some really good friends here. Some of us belong to a VJ book club. That is a clique. Some of us belong to a VJ weight loss group. That is a clique. Vj is for everyone. Not a clique.

Jackie

[Sofiyya 1,687]

As the one who has been a MENA member the longest here, (I was mena before there was a mena forum) I have a few things to say.

If and I do mean IF there is a cliche, am I in it? Let's make a list....cuz seriously I want to know who is in it and who is not in it. Let's draw the battlelines if there is going to be a war of the words.

I care too much about this forum and the good that it does to see it brought down like this. I call for an immediate intervention of Ewok to save this forum from members that make it their daily duty to cause long drawn out 'pages of nothing'. Take this ####### to off topic so I can go back to encouraging and helping the ones that need a place to get advice and be around others going thru the process in a MENA country. Lord knows we all have our own issues and most of us don't know how to handle someone that is here for the sole purpose of bringing this forum down.

Ewok, it is time to discuss the future of the ME/NA forum. After this back & forth today, you cannot turn a blind eye to this. I have the best interests of this forum in mind and I imagine most everyone else does too.

I encourage the legitamate members of this forum to message Captain and offer your suggestions on how to better serve this group. I know I sure am.

Jackie

Well said Jackie.

Jackie posted and you responded.

As the one who has been a MENA member the longest here, (I was mena before there was a mena forum) I have a few things to say.

If and I do mean IF there is a cliche, am I in it? Let's make a list....cuz seriously I want to know who is in it and who is not in it. Let's draw the battlelines if there is going to be a war of the words.

I care too much about this forum and the good that it does to see it brought down like this. I call for an immediate intervention of Ewok to save this forum from members that make it their daily duty to cause long drawn out 'pages of nothing'. Take this ####### to off topic so I can go back to encouraging and helping the ones that need a place to get advice and be around others going thru the process in a MENA country. Lord knows we all have our own issues and most of us don't know how to handle someone that is here for the sole purpose of bringing this forum down.

Ewok, it is time to discuss the future of the ME/NA forum. After this back & forth today, you cannot turn a blind eye to this. I have the best interests of this forum in mind and I imagine most everyone else does too.

I encourage the legitamate members of this forum to message Captain and offer your suggestions on how to better serve this group. I know I sure am.

Jackie

Good post Jackie.

I wish I could tell you why friendship between members automatically means "clique" when certain people are involved.

I have many friends from VJ who I talk to on yahoo including you. I always like chatting with you and discussing your haircuts, new cars, your vacation to Jordan etc. Talk to you tonight!

Sarah

Jackie posted and Sarah responded.

As the one who has been a MENA member the longest here, (I was mena before there was a mena forum) I have a few things to say.

If and I do mean IF there is a cliche, am I in it? Let's make a list....cuz seriously I want to know who is in it and who is not in it. Let's draw the battlelines if there is going to be a war of the words.

I care too much about this forum and the good that it does to see it brought down like this. I call for an immediate intervention of Ewok to save this forum from members that make it their daily duty to cause long drawn out 'pages of nothing'. Take this ####### to off topic so I can go back to encouraging and helping the ones that need a place to get advice and be around others going thru the process in a MENA country. Lord knows we all have our own issues and most of us don't know how to handle someone that is here for the sole purpose of bringing this forum down.

Ewok, it is time to discuss the future of the ME/NA forum. After this back & forth today, you cannot turn a blind eye to this. I have the best interests of this forum in mind and I imagine most everyone else does too.

I encourage the legitamate members of this forum to message Captain and offer your suggestions on how to better serve this group. I know I sure am.

Jackie

I'd like to see some changes for the better, too, Jackie, but there is a great deal of denial and resistance to doing anything that alters the status quo. With your dismissive comment that "most of us don't know how to handle someone that is here for the sole purpose of bringing this forum down", you seem to be succumbing to that mindset, as well. Them against us. It goes both ways!

I have discussed the future of MENA with Capt Ewok over the last few months, up to a day ago. I've made some suggestions he has acted on. Beyond that, I won't speak for him, but I will say this. Two closed threads yesterday (Neither of which I was involved in, btw), people coming here just to make fun of us and to fan flames, people dismissing the opinions of newbies as irrelevent, picking at someone who is ONLY TRYING to tell you there's a problem, and the obvious joy drama holds for some, doesn't help the case that this place is worth saving.

The blame someone else, don't take any responsibility act isn't going over well. Time for a change.

Jackie posted and I responded.

As the one who has been a MENA member the longest here, (I was mena before there was a mena forum) I have a few things to say.

If and I do mean IF there is a cliche, am I in it? Let's make a list....cuz seriously I want to know who is in it and who is not in it. Let's draw the battlelines if there is going to be a war of the words.

I care too much about this forum and the good that it does to see it brought down like this. I call for an immediate intervention of Ewok to save this forum from members that make it their daily duty to cause long drawn out 'pages of nothing'. Take this ####### to off topic so I can go back to encouraging and helping the ones that need a place to get advice and be around others going thru the process in a MENA country. Lord knows we all have our own issues and most of us don't know how to handle someone that is here for the sole purpose of bringing this forum down.

Ewok, it is time to discuss the future of the ME/NA forum. After this back & forth today, you cannot turn a blind eye to this. I have the best interests of this forum in mind and I imagine most everyone else does too.

I encourage the legitamate members of this forum to message Captain and offer your suggestions on how to better serve this group. I know I sure am.

Jackie

picking at someone who is ONLY TRYING to tell you there's a problem,

The only problem around here is YOU! You have been gone for what? an hour? See how harmonious the board is? You come back and bam, you pick up right where you left off. You have serious issues. We have clearly heard what you have to say and we DISAGREE. What is your goal here? Should we all leave the forum? Will that make you happy?

This is your response to me.

[jordanianprincess 0]

As the one who has been a MENA member the longest here, (I was mena before there was a mena forum) I have a few things to say.

If and I do mean IF there is a cliche, am I in it? Let's make a list....cuz seriously I want to know who is in it and who is not in it. Let's draw the battlelines if there is going to be a war of the words.

I care too much about this forum and the good that it does to see it brought down like this. I call for an immediate intervention of Ewok to save this forum from members that make it their daily duty to cause long drawn out 'pages of nothing'. Take this ####### to off topic so I can go back to encouraging and helping the ones that need a place to get advice and be around others going thru the process in a MENA country. Lord knows we all have our own issues and most of us don't know how to handle someone that is here for the sole purpose of bringing this forum down.

Ewok, it is time to discuss the future of the ME/NA forum. After this back & forth today, you cannot turn a blind eye to this. I have the best interests of this forum in mind and I imagine most everyone else does too.

I encourage the legitamate members of this forum to message Captain and offer your suggestions on how to better serve this group. I know I sure am.

Jackie

Well said Jackie.

Jackie posted and you responded.

As the one who has been a MENA member the longest here, (I was mena before there was a mena forum) I have a few things to say.

If and I do mean IF there is a cliche, am I in it? Let's make a list....cuz seriously I want to know who is in it and who is not in it. Let's draw the battlelines if there is going to be a war of the words.

I care too much about this forum and the good that it does to see it brought down like this. I call for an immediate intervention of Ewok to save this forum from members that make it their daily duty to cause long drawn out 'pages of nothing'. Take this ####### to off topic so I can go back to encouraging and helping the ones that need a place to get advice and be around others going thru the process in a MENA country. Lord knows we all have our own issues and most of us don't know how to handle someone that is here for the sole purpose of bringing this forum down.

Ewok, it is time to discuss the future of the ME/NA forum. After this back & forth today, you cannot turn a blind eye to this. I have the best interests of this forum in mind and I imagine most everyone else does too.

I encourage the legitamate members of this forum to message Captain and offer your suggestions on how to better serve this group. I know I sure am.

Jackie

Good post Jackie.

I wish I could tell you why friendship between members automatically means "clique" when certain people are involved.

I have many friends from VJ who I talk to on yahoo including you. I always like chatting with you and discussing your haircuts, new cars, your vacation to Jordan etc. Talk to you tonight!

Sarah

Jackie posted and Sarah responded.

As the one who has been a MENA member the longest here, (I was mena before there was a mena forum) I have a few things to say.

If and I do mean IF there is a cliche, am I in it? Let's make a list....cuz seriously I want to know who is in it and who is not in it. Let's draw the battlelines if there is going to be a war of the words.

I care too much about this forum and the good that it does to see it brought down like this. I call for an immediate intervention of Ewok to save this forum from members that make it their daily duty to cause long drawn out 'pages of nothing'. Take this ####### to off topic so I can go back to encouraging and helping the ones that need a place to get advice and be around others going thru the process in a MENA country. Lord knows we all have our own issues and most of us don't know how to handle someone that is here for the sole purpose of bringing this forum down.

Ewok, it is time to discuss the future of the ME/NA forum. After this back & forth today, you cannot turn a blind eye to this. I have the best interests of this forum in mind and I imagine most everyone else does too.

I encourage the legitamate members of this forum to message Captain and offer your suggestions on how to better serve this group. I know I sure am.

Jackie

I'd like to see some changes for the better, too, Jackie, but there is a great deal of denial and resistance to doing anything that alters the status quo. With your dismissive comment that "most of us don't know how to handle someone that is here for the sole purpose of bringing this forum down", you seem to be succumbing to that mindset, as well. Them against us. It goes both ways!

I have discussed the future of MENA with Capt Ewok over the last few months, up to a day ago. I've made some suggestions he has acted on. Beyond that, I won't speak for him, but I will say this. Two closed threads yesterday (Neither of which I was involved in, btw), people coming here just to make fun of us and to fan flames, people dismissing the opinions of newbies as irrelevent, picking at someone who is ONLY TRYING to tell you there's a problem, and the obvious joy drama holds for some, doesn't help the case that this place is worth saving.

The blame someone else, don't take any responsibility act isn't going over well. Time for a change.

Jackie posted and I responded.

As the one who has been a MENA member the longest here, (I was mena before there was a mena forum) I have a few things to say.

If and I do mean IF there is a cliche, am I in it? Let's make a list....cuz seriously I want to know who is in it and who is not in it. Let's draw the battlelines if there is going to be a war of the words.

I care too much about this forum and the good that it does to see it brought down like this. I call for an immediate intervention of Ewok to save this forum from members that make it their daily duty to cause long drawn out 'pages of nothing'. Take this ####### to off topic so I can go back to encouraging and helping the ones that need a place to get advice and be around others going thru the process in a MENA country. Lord knows we all have our own issues and most of us don't know how to handle someone that is here for the sole purpose of bringing this forum down.

Ewok, it is time to discuss the future of the ME/NA forum. After this back & forth today, you cannot turn a blind eye to this. I have the best interests of this forum in mind and I imagine most everyone else does too.

I encourage the legitamate members of this forum to message Captain and offer your suggestions on how to better serve this group. I know I sure am.

Jackie

picking at someone who is ONLY TRYING to tell you there's a problem,

The only problem around here is YOU! You have been gone for what? an hour? See how harmonious the board is? You come back and bam, you pick up right where you left off. You have serious issues. We have clearly heard what you have to say and we DISAGREE. What is your goal here? Should we all leave the forum? Will that make you happy?

This is your response to me.

Thats how you justify that I complained about you posting? I was responding to what you wrote, did I write anywhere in my post that you are not allowed to post to Jackie?

WHAT EXACTLY IS YOUR GOAL HERE?

[Sofiyya 1,687]

I complained that you responded to Jackies post? WHERE? What I said to brdidokiegirl was with full respect and you are taking a portion of out of context. I have never dismissed her or any other newbie. YOU ARE THE ONLY PROBLEM HERE, everyone else just wants to get along and you want to keep fighting.

I'm merely responding to posts that concern me.

You may not think you are victim, but its clear from your posts that act like one. I'm not the only one that feels this but then it must be that clique thing, right?

You're not the only one that feels this, so that makes it true even tho I say it's not. You say this, even as you say I should believe what you say about the clique even tho I and others aren't "feeeling" it.

[jordanianprincess 0]

WHAT IS YOUR GOAL? Why can't you answer that? What are you trying to get out this?

[Sofiyya 1,687]

Thats how you justify that I complained about you posting? I was responding to what you wrote, did I write anywhere in my post that you are not allowed to post to Jackie?

The part about "You have been gone for what? an hour? See how harmonious the board is? You come back and bam, you pick up right where you left off." kinda gave it away that you feel I shouldn't respond.

[jordanianprincess 0]

Thats how you justify that I complained about you posting? I was responding to what you wrote, did I write anywhere in my post that you are not allowed to post to Jackie?

The part about "You have been gone for what? an hour? See how harmonious the board is? You come back and bam, you pick up right where you left off." kinda gave it away that you feel I shouldn't respond.

I don't have a problem with you replying, I have a problem with your desire to keep drama brewing on this forum. You stated your feelings and opinion, WE DISAGREE. Can you accept that or not?

[peezey 0]

Two threads were closed yesterday, YOU, not I, were fighting in both of them. I didn't even post in them at all.

No more need be said.

Um, yeah, well, JP and I both reported those threads and I had exchanges with a moderator, you didn't save the day, so you can stop that line right now.

[Sofiyya 1,687]

WHAT IS YOUR GOAL? Why can't you answer that? What are you trying to get out this?

I stated my goal many times. To have a mature, productive dialogue about the problems here, and not from only one side. I've gotten a shout down, but dialogue has yet to come about. I was assured that people were capable of diversity of thought and mature interaction, but it seems that may have been overstated.

Two threads were closed yesterday, YOU, not I, were fighting in both of them. I didn't even post in them at all.

No more need be said.

Um, yeah, well, JP and I both reported those threads and I had exchanges with a moderator, you didn't save the day, so you can stop that line right now.

Good for you! I wasn't even there, so I'm sure I didn't and I'm sure I didn't claim to have saved the day.

I don't have a problem with you replying, I have a problem with your desire to keep drama brewing on this forum. You stated your feelings and opinion, WE DISAGREE. Can you accept that or not?

I accepted that long ago. Also, we disagree about my desire to keep drama going. My intent was to lessen the drama, but it got personal, so more drama.

Edited January 26, 2007 by Green-eyed girl

[peezey 0]

I stated my goal many times. To have a mature, productive dialogue about the problems here, and not from only one side. I've gotten a shout down, but dialogue has yet to come about. I was assured that people were capable of diversity of thought and mature interaction, but it seems that may have been overstated.

And since we all don't agree about what you consider problems, you are saying we cannot engage in discussion about it.

So please, since you have the problems, list them along with proposed solutions.