Things to remember to tell your SO when they arrive

[Sofiyya 1,687]

Alright then. Can we agree to just ignore each other then please? I'll be up front here. I don't like you. I will refrain from commenting on your comments. I would like something in exchange though - that you refrain from posting snide remarks about the cabal every chance you get. Deal?

No censorship, sorry. I'm not willing to surrender to the "invasion of the Body Snatchers" style for your stated dislike of me.

I wonder how this all got so emotional, frankly. I don't dislike anyone. I don't know most of you well enough to dislike you. If anything, I don't care one way or another about some of you, but I certainly don't wish you ill. That's the best I can do, but mustering up dislike or hate; hasn't happened. Probably never will. That's probably why I can do this.

[Jenn! 918]

Alright then. Can we agree to just ignore each other then please? I'll be up front here. I don't like you. I will refrain from commenting on your comments. I would like something in exchange though - that you refrain from posting snide remarks about the cabal every chance you get. Deal?

No censorship, sorry. I'm not willing to surrender to the "invasion of the Body Snatchers" style for your stated dislike of me.

I wonder how this all got so emotional, frankly. I don't dislike anyone. I don't know most of you well enough to dislike you. If anything, I don't care one way or another about some of you, but I certainly don't wish you ill. That's the best I can do, but mustering up dislike or hate; hasn't happened. Probably never will. That's probably why I can do this.

Then why your repeated attempts to portray me and others as manipulative and ill-intentioned people? Isn't this all supposed to be an "outing of the clique"?

And you wonder how it got emotional?

[Sofiyya 1,687]

Sorry bash if u want-- but i posted this in OT

Tell me who your best friends are, and I will tell you who you are. If you run with wolves, you will learn how to howl. But if you associate with eagles, you will learn how to soar to great heights.

“A mirror reflects a man’s face, but what he is really like is shown by the kind of friends he chooses.” The simple but true fact of life is that you become like those with whom you closely associate – for the good and the bad. The less you associate with some people, the more your life will improve. Any time you tolerate mediocrity in others, it increases your mediocrity. An important attribute in successful people is their impatience with negative thinking and negative acting people. As you grow, your associate will change

Some of your friends will not want you to go on. They will want you to stay where they are. Friends that don’t help you climb, will want you to craw. Your friends will stretch your vision or choke your dreams. Those that don’t increase you, will eventually decrease you.

Consider this: Never receive counsel from unproductive people. Never discuss your problems with someone incapable of contributing to the solution, because those who never succeed themselves are always first to tell you how. Not everyone has a right to speak into your life. You are certain to get the worst of the bargain when you exchange ideas with the wrong person. Don’t follow anyone who’s not going anywhere.

With some people you spend and evening: with others you invest it. Be careful where you stop to inquire for directions along the road of life.

Wise is the person who fortifies his life with the right friendships.

Something to think about

[Bosco 1]

That she is right and we are all wrong. That's what this is all about. We have seen it many many times before, with many members, in many threads. That is one thing some of the newer members don't know about.

This may be a popular sentiment, but it is false. Why is it ok for you to label me and explain me, but you're repulsed by any perceived effort to label you and explain you by others?

So labeling you as "right" is now an insult? You're streatching here. You labeled cabal, clique, popular girls, denial. No one has said anything of the sort to you.

Let's say there are no "sides" since no one wants to admit to a cabal. No cabal, no "unpopular" posters. Simple as that. But it should be so simple as right or wrong. I'm saying let's use some of that individual thinking to sort it out. So far, there has been insufficent amounts of reason, lots of piling on.

This is going to come across sounding harsh, and it is not intended that way. Has it ever crossed your mind that is isn't about group-think or a cabal, that some people are just that difficult to like and even a very diverse group of people who don't agree on other things will come to the same conclusion? Do you think it is possible that people are just turned off by you and it isn't some plot? That at first you brought a refreshing new voice to this forum but eventually it was you and no one else that resulted in the reaction you now get? Is it at all possible in your reality that you simply are not liked without it being some popular girl conspiracy, because from what I hear, there are women that I don't even talk to that share the same sentiment.

[brnidokiegurl 0]

Speaking as a NEWBIE so to say, i can only tell you, new doesnt necessarily mean stupid. When I or (we) came here as new we had no sides. We learned as we went and saw what we saw. You oldies are the ones that did the teaching and it didnt take us new ones long to learn.

[Sofiyya 1,687]

Alright then. Can we agree to just ignore each other then please? I'll be up front here. I don't like you. I will refrain from commenting on your comments. I would like something in exchange though - that you refrain from posting snide remarks about the cabal every chance you get. Deal?

No censorship, sorry. I'm not willing to surrender to the "invasion of the Body Snatchers" style for your stated dislike of me.

I wonder how this all got so emotional, frankly. I don't dislike anyone. I don't know most of you well enough to dislike you. If anything, I don't care one way or another about some of you, but I certainly don't wish you ill. That's the best I can do, but mustering up dislike or hate; hasn't happened. Probably never will. That's probably why I can do this.

Then why your repeated attempts to portray me and others as manipulative and ill-intentioned people? Isn't this all supposed to be an "outing of the clique"?

And you wonder how it got emotional?

I haven't used any names as identification for cabal members. I'm even ok with the idea that there may not be one, but proof of that is slim from where I stand. When i see day after day the same patterns of negativity and support from the same people, it's hard to ignore and harder not to comment on, since I try not to be a backbiter.

[jordanianprincess 0]

That she is right and we are all wrong. That's what this is all about. We have seen it many many times before, with many members, in many threads. That is one thing some of the newer members don't know about.

This may be a popular sentiment, but it is false. Why is it ok for you to label me and explain me, but you're repulsed by any perceived effort to label you and explain you by others?

So labeling you as "right" is now an insult? You're streatching here. You labeled cabal, clique, popular girls, denial. No one has said anything of the sort to you.

Let's say there are no "sides" since no one wants to admit to a cabal. No cabal, no "unpopular" posters. Simple as that. But it should be so simple as right or wrong. I'm saying let's use some of that individual thinking to sort it out. So far, there has been insufficent amounts of reason, lots of piling on.

This is going to come across sounding harsh, and it is not intended that way. Has it ever crossed your mind that is isn't about group-think or a cabal, that some people are just that difficult to like and even a very diverse group of people who don't agree on other things will come to the same conclusion? Do you think it is possible that people are just turned off by you and it isn't some plot? That at first you brought a refreshing new voice to this forum but eventually it was you and no one else that resulted in the reaction you now get? Is it at all possible in your reality that you simply are not liked without it being some popular girl conspiracy, because from what I hear, there are women that I don't even talk to that share the same sentiment.

Thank you for that, I fully agree.

[jordanianprincess 0]

Speaking as a NEWBIE so to say, i can only tell you, new doesnt necessarily mean stupid. When I or (we) came here as new we had no sides. We learned as we went and saw what we saw. You oldies are the ones that did the teaching and it didnt take us new ones long to learn.

With all due respect, you don't really know the turmoil our forum went through. Alot of us feel the way we do because of what happened in the forum a while back. Whatever you have learned is one side of the token and nothing more. Unless you have a full understanding of this forum and the things that have taken place you cant really understand the reasons we feel the way we do.

[Sofiyya 1,687]

This is going to come across sounding harsh, and it is not intended that way. Has it ever crossed your mind that is isn't about group-think or a cabal, that some people are just that difficult to like and even a very diverse group of people who don't agree on other things will come to the same conclusion? Do you think it is possible that people are just turned off by you and it isn't some plot? That at first you brought a refreshing new voice to this forum but eventually it was you and no one else that resulted in the reaction you now get? Is it at all possible in your reality that you simply are not liked without it being some popular girl conspiracy, because from what I hear, there are women that I don't even talk to that share the same sentiment.

I haven't been begging for friends. You don't like me, fine. I can handle that. I am an acquired taste because I don't beat around the bush and you ALWAYS know where you stand with me, unlike some. I don't see not liking me as a plot. To me, this is not personal.

And because it's not personal, it's not for me that I speak up, it's for those YOU ALL have turned off who are too timid to say so here. You all seem to be the ones who have your heads in the sand. I hear things you don't hear, obviously, only, I'm not afraid to come here and tell you to your face, so to speak.

[jordanianprincess 0]

This is going to come across sounding harsh, and it is not intended that way. Has it ever crossed your mind that is isn't about group-think or a cabal, that some people are just that difficult to like and even a very diverse group of people who don't agree on other things will come to the same conclusion? Do you think it is possible that people are just turned off by you and it isn't some plot? That at first you brought a refreshing new voice to this forum but eventually it was you and no one else that resulted in the reaction you now get? Is it at all possible in your reality that you simply are not liked without it being some popular girl conspiracy, because from what I hear, there are women that I don't even talk to that share the same sentiment.

I haven't been begging for friends. You don't like me, fine. I can handle that. I am an acquired taste because I don't beat around the bush and you ALWAYS know where you stand with me, unlike some. I don't see not liking me as a plot. To me, this is not personal.

And because it's not personal, it's not for me that I speak up, it's for those YOU ALL have turned off who are too timid to say so here. You all seem to be the ones who have your heads in the sand. I hear things you don't hear, obviously, only, I'm not afraid to come here and tell you to your face, so to speak.

Are you a mouthpiece for everyone? If someone has an issue they should speak up themselves otherwise its just he said she said and that has no merit at all.

[Sofiyya 1,687]

BTW, when I first came here, I was warned about the groupthink cabal on MENA. Being open-minded, I continued on, minus proof of its existance.

They were right. If you don't fit in, you are waaay out.

Edited January 25, 2007 by Green-eyed girl

[jordanianprincess 0]

BTW, when I first came here, I was warned about the groupthink cabal on MENA. Being open-minded, I continued on, minus proof of its existance.

They were right. If you don't fit in, you are waaay out.

You have stated as such many times. You have also made many other statements about how you are not afraid to speak your mind. Then why don't you just come out and say it, who is in this so called clique? Why can't you just address the members directly instead of being vauge? If you are going to be direct, then just say it, otherwise there is no point in going on.

[Sofiyya 1,687]

Are you a mouthpiece for everyone? If someone has an issue they should speak up themselves otherwise its just he said she said and that has no merit at all.

Not everyone is as steadfast when piled on as I am. I don't mind being the spokesperson. I'd lose all that I value by remaining silent.

The Quran tells us many times to stand up for justice, even against all who dishonor you. I live by that.

You have stated as such many times. You have also made many other statements about how you are not afraid to speak your mind. Then why don't you just come out and say it, who is in this so called clique? Why can't you just address the members directly instead of being vauge? If you are going to be direct, then just say it, otherwise there is no point in going on.

Feel free not to go on.

Edited January 25, 2007 by Green-eyed girl

[jordanianprincess 0]

Are you a mouthpiece for everyone? If someone has an issue they should speak up themselves otherwise its just he said she said and that has no merit at all.

Not everyone is as steasfast when piled on as I am. I don't mind being the spokesperson. I'd lose all that I value by remaining silent.

The Quran tells us many times to stand up for justice, even against all who dishonor you. I live by that.

You have stated as such many times. You have also made many other statements about how you are not afraid to speak your mind. Then why don't you just come out and say it, who is in this so called clique? Why can't you just address the members directly instead of being vauge? If you are going to be direct, then just say it, otherwise there is no point in going on.

Feel free not to go on.

Since you are speaking on behalf of people who are not speaking up themselves, your arguement has no merit. Trust me, you have done your share of turning off members.

Exactly, you can't even say who is in the clique becaue there isn't one! Thank you for showing everyone your true colors today.

[Sofiyya 1,687]

Since you are speaking on behalf of people who are not speaking up themselves, your arguement has no merit. Trust me, you have done your share of turning off members.

Trust me, you all have done the same. I was brave enough to try to start a dialogue about how to remedy it.

Exactly, you can't even say who is in the clique becaue there isn't one! Thank you for showing everyone your true colors today.

I have info that I'm not privy to divulge, so what I have said is what pertains to me. Others, if they wish to speak may do so. If not, they won't. I can, so I do. Turning off people that I don't even know is an easy price to pay for principle. I do so gladly!

Edited January 25, 2007 by Green-eyed girl