Dealing with negative people

[verysadguy 170]

I find your accusation , that german news today being anti Semitic is totally groundless . More of a blood libel.

I think you missed the point of what I'm saying. I didn't say Germans or German news was anti-semitic. I said the news in Europe yesterday was reporting on anti-semitic activities.

That is indisputable.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/news/morning-mix/wp/2014/07/23/anti-semitic-riots-in-europe-took-us-back-to-1938/

[sweetswinks 400]

They're jealous. It's killing them that they don't have balls for adventure.

This!

I've had catty remarks from "friends" regarding the u.s. now, whereas before my relationship, they never said anything bad about it! Now all I hear about is how annoying and loud Americans are. I like to remind them that the Americans they have met are travelers, they have not ever been to the country themselves so they cannot judge a view solely based on a few bad experiences!

[TheFoxxy 76]

Unfortunately you kind of have to go into this and through it with an "I don't give a f*** what anyone thinks" attitude.

Most of the time people are kind to my face about it and congratulate me or wish me "luck" in a condescending way. Maybe some of them are genuine but who knows.

My own brother has made it very clear that he thinks I am crazy to marry someone from another country, let alone Russia. My whole family has been pretty unsupportive of it, my mother shows flashes occasionally but not very often. I am hoping that they will change once they meet Diana and see how wonderful she is, but it is a bit frustrating that my own family cant trust that I would pick a good respectable person to marry.

I have had a few people that i would call borderline friends, make some sly comments. Let's just say I don't speak to them anymore.

Bottom line is you just have to not care what anyone thinks, you know what you know and are making these life decisions based on what is best for you. Like what was said earlier, a lot of people are jealous that you are making an adventure out of life by marrying someone from another part of the world. Our relationships will always have that extra curiosity and interest to them that most others will not.

[verysadguy 170]

This!

I've had catty remarks from "friends" regarding the u.s. now, whereas before my relationship, they never said anything bad about it! Now all I hear about is how annoying and loud Americans are. I like to remind them that the Americans they have met are travelers, they have not ever been to the country themselves so they cannot judge a view solely based on a few bad experiences!

I lived in Australia. Aussies love to bash America. Plenty of loud mouths in Oz, too.

My father has a wise saying "There are rednecks all over the world". It's fun to bash Americans, they have the money. What's the point of bashing a poor country? Geez those Peruvians sure are annoying. Get my point? Besides, anymore, the USA is a melting pot. If you go to Iran, it is 99.99% Iranian, but if you go to Queens New York it has about 150 different nationalities.

My advice, find nice people to be friends with and don't pick your nose on a subway train.

[Lelyze 49]

I'm very sorry that people are inconsiderate and close minded... I can understand how you feel, because I have those kind of people around me, too. As I'm from an Islamic country, most of my friends, family and other people around tell me the same things. "Are you crazy??" "You're going to go to hell for this, marrying a Christian is not what a Muslim should do" etc. Some say because of the cultural difference, our marriage will fail. My grandfather told me he does not accept me anymore because of this.

My parents are supportive, but even their friends put pressure on them by saying "how do you let your daughter to this? You should stop her from doing this!"..

But hearing these from others just makes me love my fiance even more, because I see how ignorant and mean others are, and how they value nationality, religion etc more than personality. To me, my fiance is worth leaving all those people behind. People don't see that love is not something you choose considering their religion, culture, nationality... I think love is about the other person's personality.

I love him the way he is and would never change anything about him. I respect him. And I want people around me to respect him and our desicion. If they don't, then they can continue living their life in their own little dark box without me. I don't need them and they obviously don't need me.

Stop letting others make you sad. Because they always will if you let them. If you think what you're doing is right, go for it

Dear Lilay, I am in same situation, I come from Islamic country and I am marrying Christian. My family is very supportive, and so is his family. But still we receive negative comments from both sides. But as you said, all of that is making me love my fiancee even more and is bringing us closer to each other. I try to ignore all negative people, it is hard to go through this process even without them, but in the end I know it is worth it

[funkymunky 11]

I can't say my parents love the idea that I chose to move to the US and it probably doesn't help that half my husband's family is the stereotypical extreme Christian-gun toting-red neck either lol but I know they will have my back if I ever need help. Just ignore the BS and prove them all wrong. Back when my hubs and I were newlyweds there were probably a lot of people on both sides that thought we would never last but I couldn't give a f about they thought then and what they think now because obviously what matters is how you both feel about each other and building a life together.

[J&N* 68]

People everywhere always want to have an opinion about your life and tell you how to live it, really what your friends are doing isn't very helpful and is only stereotyping a whole country. The US isn't perfect, no where on earth is perfect, but it's an amazing country, the people can be very friendly here, neighbors usually talk to each other, and people usually really mean to help you when you ask for help, I know this isn't very common in Germany, people in Germany tend to keep to themselves and don't like getting too close to someone.

The reason everyone always talks about politics because lets admit it, politics of this country do matter to all of the world, everyone wants to have an opinion, you have the right to express your opinions so people take advantage of that.

I've never seen shootings or homeless people, because I stay away from bad areas where things like that may happen, but shootings happen all over the world, you just don't see it on your TV because the media wants to only look at the big countries that people want to hear about.

Really, it doesn't matter what your friends argued to you about, cause a real friend would make the best of the situation and try to be of help and show support, which your friends greatly failed at, which makes their opinions about things or life, not that very important. Also think about this, Arizona in winter will be really warm, compared to your friends in Germany freezing their arsch, if I were you, that'd be the time to post pool pictures in February on Facebook and tag them

Viel Viel Glück! I think you will love it here!

[JIJourney 96]

just keep your head up and relax. do not let them get to you

[RioGrande 3]

I have been there. It is either jealousy or ... jealousy. And btw, remember it is quite OK to have people who do not like you. There will always be people in life who will judge you or make fun of you or hate you. Just ignore them. You are losing lots of energy dealing with them, so do not waste your time on them!

[Ortolan 381]

The USA was built and made great by immigrants just like you, many of whom had family and friends that told them they were out of their minds to come here.

Every country has their share of good people and bad people, probably in about the same proportions. People do tend to be afraid of and negative about things they don't understand, and a lot of people wouldn't have the courage to do what you're doing right now. So you hang in there, embrace your life and the change, and have this adventure.

You've got one life, one life only. If your friends and your family continue to write you out of their lives and rag on you because of these life choices you've made, then that says more about them than it does about you. Get new friends. Forgive your family. But live your life!