Quitting and Starting All Over Again

[JIJourney 96]

See Butterfly,

Everyone. Not just me. But everyone is here to support you. We all want you to get through this. Do not do this for us, but do this for yourself and your love. We yell "I support you!"

You yell "ALL IN!"

[Karam and Jamie 44]

I feel you!!!! It can get VERY depressinggggggggggggggggg, to the point I had to literally roll off the couch just to have the energy to get my butt to work!!! I say hang in there and WAIT, especially if Turkey is not high fraud. Once you get NOA2 it feels good, then you guys can start planning the next steps and have some things to do to distract. My honey and I first met in Istanbul, Turkey The food was DELICIOUS!!! I want to go back with my honey, to reminisce about when we first met hehe!

[Butterfly123 5]

Don't quit now! The time, money, and energy spent relocating will be as bad or worse than just waiting this process out. Do you use whatsapp? Even when you aren't both awake, you can send texts back and forth to keep a connection. That's key to enduring this nightmarish distance apart. (((((Hugs)))))

we don't use whatsapp but I asked for him to find a way to text me with his phone. It is a good idea, it would make it better.

Don't quit now! The time, money, and energy spent relocating will be as bad or worse than just waiting this process out. Do you use whatsapp? Even when you aren't both awake, you can send texts back and forth to keep a connection. That's key to enduring this nightmarish distance apart. (((((Hugs)))))

we don't use whatsapp but I asked for him to find a way to text me with his phone. It is a good idea, it would make it better.

Thanks everybody. You are really kind. I honestly didn't expect anyone to care about what I am going through. It seems that no one around me understands, or they think it is just my fault for getting into a relationship with someone "over there".

How do you know which countries are high fraud? Is there a list or something?

[raven52 233]

From what YOU say, it is my opinion that you and your fiance' really did not prepare yourselves for this "journey".,.,when filing the K-1 I would hope that you looked at timelines, and how approvals were with TSC, and you are through the roughest part, the first 5 months, (my wife and I was 10 months and 4 days, Noa1 till POE Atlanta) and if you do as you are talking about doing, well, yes, you will be together soooner, but the visa situation will be much, much longer than waiting a few more months on the K-1.

I KNOW it is hard, been there, done that, but hang in there, you say how you need to be in the USA, and it was your orginal plan, try to grind it out, as YOU are through the rough part, in a month or two, things will really start moving, and when it does, you will be very busy, getting through NVC, medical, interview.,.,.,..,You can do this K-1, hang in there!

[Ashiraz 16]

I must say that this forum has helped me and my wife not reach the brink of insanity. We've been apart for 13 months since we got married!

[Tina and Johan 206]

we don't use whatsapp but I asked for him to find a way to text me with his phone. It is a good idea, it would make it better.

Thanks everybody. You are really kind. I honestly didn't expect anyone to care about what I am going through. It seems that no one around me understands, or they think it is just my fault for getting into a relationship with someone "over there".

How do you know which countries are high fraud? Is there a list or something?

Some phone texting options: if you both have iPhones, then use iMessage. otherwise, there is whatsapp, viber, google hangouts, skype allows for texting, and of course, Facebook messenger. ALL of these can be used on your phone.

We understand better than your local friends and family because we are going through the same exact process you are. Some timelines are shorter, some longer, but we are all separated from the one we love for some length of time.

Here are the embassy reviews from VJ members for Turkey: http://www.visajourney.com/reviews/index.php?cnty=Turkey

This will give you personal insight from other people who've gone through this country and how their process went.

Here is the embassy information for the embassy: http://www.visajourney.com/consulates/index.php?ctry=Turkey&cty=Ankara

Edited July 21, 2014 by Tina and Johan

[deleteddd 35]

Hi Butterfly123,

I'm sorry for the stress, sadness and pain you are feeling right now.

For your current K1, have you tried contacting your congressman or senator?

We applied in January this year and the request did help us.

For a possible future K1, I do believe you may need the help of a co-sponsor to prove you can support your fiancé.

For France, finding a job is not easy. It may take him a while, + he'll have to spend his savings until he works. The living costs equal most of salaries so he won't be able to put that much on te side. Depending on which city he'll go to he may need a car.. He's pretty much going to start a new life there to then give it all up so soon.. I know it may not be a problem for you guys but yeaa.. ^^

& as a Belgian citizen I can tell you that getting your citizenship back isn't always easy. Well, I've had mine through my parents but I know a couple of people who had to wait some time and also sometimes got denied the 1st time. Belgium got pretty strict these past years..

What nationality is your fiancé if I may ask?

Also, how would you stay over 3 months in France? Get married?

If you do get married you will have to go through a K3 visa if I ewmember correctly.

For you to find a job with mainly one language other than french may be a little harder...unless you have a higher degree or are okay with any job it may get a little tricky..

My fiancé is a UScitizen while I am Belgian. I live and study in Luxembourg. Pretty much everything is paid for me here. It's really a wealthy country and I have a comfortable life. Yet, my fiancé and I decided that it would be me that would go to the US because : it is easier since there is a fiancé visa, i speak the language of the country he's in and it would be 'easier' for me in the US than for him in the Schengen area.

I hope you guys will do what's best for you. I wish you good luck Butterfly123 !

[sweetswinks 400]

If it weren't for VJ I would have lost the plot already. I haven't seen my fiance since March which is nothing compared to others here! I am a big fan of data, and organization, so being on VJ regularly really helped me prepare. There has been so many questions that would not have been answered if it weren't for the help of this online community, for which I am INCREDIBLY GRATEFUL!

For you and your fiance, it seems as though the best option is to hang tight and wait the next 4 - 12 weeks it takes to get your NOA2. You just never know when it might come! Please keep yourself strong and talk to those who understand what you're going through. It's the only way to keep your sanity!

[bellejimmy 10]

This has been so great to read I'm feeling so down too and am a TSC March filer.
To quote When Harry met Sally "when you realise you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible" - so TRUE!

[Butterfly123 5]

From what YOU say, it is my opinion that you and your fiance' really did not prepare yourselves for this "journey".,.,when filing the K-1 I would hope that you looked at timelines, and how approvals were with TSC, and you are through the roughest part, the first 5 months, (my wife and I was 10 months and 4 days, Noa1 till POE Atlanta) and if you do as you are talking about doing, well, yes, you will be together soooner, but the visa situation will be much, much longer than waiting a few more months on the K-1.

I KNOW it is hard, been there, done that, but hang in there, you say how you need to be in the USA, and it was your orginal plan, try to grind it out, as YOU are through the rough part, in a month or two, things will really start moving, and when it does, you will be very busy, getting through NVC, medical, interview.,.,.,..,You can do this K-1, hang in there!

My fiance did not want to do the visa...he didn't have any hope in the 'system'. And, he dragged his feet because it's always been an issue between us that he thinks I (or my family) will suspect him of wanting a visa to US...he is very sensitive about that. He always wanted us to go to Europe and he never wanted USA, he is doing it for me.

I knew it would take a long time, but I just dove in and started it anyway. I just didn't know what else to do. And, in 'those days', TSC seemed to be clipping along pretty well so I thought we would be lucky. Then it came to a halt and that's what's pushed me over the edge.

[Butterfly123 5]

My fiance's nationality is Algerian.

I have confused everyone because they think his nationality is Turkish. I went back and fixed that in my profile. :-(

He was in Turkey, but he's Algerian.

I didn't think it mattered when I registered, so I just filled it in any which way, but now it is having consequences because

everybody is confused. :-( I feel really bad.

Especially because everybody keeps reassuring me that Turkey is not high fraud, but I know his visa is not going to go

through Turkey.

Hi Butterfly123,
I'm sorry for the stress, sadness and pain you are feeling right now.

For your current K1, have you tried contacting your congressman or senator?
We applied in January this year and the request did help us.

For a possible future K1, I do believe you may need the help of a co-sponsor to prove you can support your fiancé.

For France, finding a job is not easy. It may take him a while, + he'll have to spend his savings until he works. The living costs equal most of salaries so he won't be able to put that much on te side. Depending on which city he'll go to he may need a car.. He's pretty much going to start a new life there to then give it all up so soon.. I know it may not be a problem for you guys but yeaa.. ^^
& as a Belgian citizen I can tell you that getting your citizenship back isn't always easy. Well, I've had mine through my parents but I know a couple of people who had to wait some time and also sometimes got denied the 1st time. Belgium got pretty strict these past years..
What nationality is your fiancé if I may ask?
Also, how would you stay over 3 months in France? Get married?
If you do get married you will have to go through a K3 visa if I ewmember correctly.

For you to find a job with mainly one language other than french may be a little harder...unless you have a higher degree or are okay with any job it may get a little tricky..

My fiancé is a UScitizen while I am Belgian. I live and study in Luxembourg. Pretty much everything is paid for me here. It's really a wealthy country and I have a comfortable life. Yet, my fiancé and I decided that it would be me that would go to the US because : it is easier since there is a fiancé visa, i speak the language of the country he's in and it would be 'easier' for me in the US than for him in the Schengen area.

I hope you guys will do what's best for you. I wish you good luck Butterfly123 !

[Butterfly123 5]

Hi Butterfly123,

I'm sorry for the stress, sadness and pain you are feeling right now.

For your current K1, have you tried contacting your congressman or senator?

We applied in January this year and the request did help us.

For a possible future K1, I do believe you may need the help of a co-sponsor to prove you can support your fiancé.

For France, finding a job is not easy. It may take him a while, + he'll have to spend his savings until he works. The living costs equal most of salaries so he won't be able to put that much on te side. Depending on which city he'll go to he may need a car.. He's pretty much going to start a new life there to then give it all up so soon.. I know it may not be a problem for you guys but yeaa.. ^^

& as a Belgian citizen I can tell you that getting your citizenship back isn't always easy. Well, I've had mine through my parents but I know a couple of people who had to wait some time and also sometimes got denied the 1st time. Belgium got pretty strict these past years..

What nationality is your fiancé if I may ask?

Also, how would you stay over 3 months in France? Get married?

If you do get married you will have to go through a K3 visa if I ewmember correctly.

For you to find a job with mainly one language other than french may be a little harder...unless you have a higher degree or are okay with any job it may get a little tricky..

My fiancé is a UScitizen while I am Belgian. I live and study in Luxembourg. Pretty much everything is paid for me here. It's really a wealthy country and I have a comfortable life. Yet, my fiancé and I decided that it would be me that would go to the US because : it is easier since there is a fiancé visa, i speak the language of the country he's in and it would be 'easier' for me in the US than for him in the Schengen area.

I hope you guys will do what's best for you. I wish you good luck Butterfly123 !

His grandparents are in Belgium and they are older...I am afraid if he doesn't go and work on his citizenship now he will lose it forever, because the people who can testify for him will be gone. So, that is my main reason for wanting him to go and do it now. He doesn't know what the process will be like, but we know it is supposed to take about a year.

His mom was Belgian, his father Algerian, but she died when they were all teenagers. They never knew any life but Belgium until they lost her...

Do you know anything about the process of getting Belgian citizenship back? Do you need lawyers, is it expensive, etc?

I wish he had his Belgian citizenship, because people in my life are prejudiced against him because of his Alg nationality, it makes things that much harder.

[Butterfly123 5]

This has been so great to read I'm feeling so down too and am a TSC March filer.

To quote When Harry met Sally "when you realise you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible" - so TRUE!

I've always been a patient person (growing up with six brothers and sisters, you had to be), but this is different.....I can hardly accept this.

[CowBoE 429]

Hello everyone.

I have been reading VJ forums for a long time now. It was the only way I could submit my K-1 application without a lawyer.

We submitted in March. The last time my fiance and I saw each other, our hearts were beyond broken to leave each other again.

That was in February. Now it is almost the end of July, and our visa application has barely moved. Every time I check the timelines

for Texas, I see that nothing has progressed at all.

Like everybody here, my loved one and I are missing each other so much. But we talked last night and we both agreed that the wait

and uncertainty are killing us. In my case, I have to say honestly that it is making me depressed.

So he proposed to me that he go to France. He was born in Belgium but lost his citizenship because his family moved out of the country

when he was 13 and in those days Belgium did not allow dual citizenship. But he is eligible to get his citizenship back, and his grandparents still

live there. However, he prefers France to work, he said.

He want to go to France, get a little settled, and then have me join him there.

I feel bad that we invested time and money in the K-1 visa and already wasted so many months of our lives with waiting and no progress.

If I go to France, I guess we will have to cancel the K-1 application and start again with a whole new type of visa. I still want us to come back

to the US, because my parents are here and they are aging.

If I go to France, he will be the one supporting us financially, Maybe I'll get a job if I can manage to do it, but I don't even speak good French.

He is fluent, since he grew up in Belgium, and he's familiar with European life.

Am I still going to prove I can support him in USA if we apply for another type of visa later? How can I do that if I have not been working in USA....what do other couples do who are living abroad.

Thank you for support. I never knew or could have imagined how awful it is to have this separation for so long. I know many of you are in the same situation. I am only staying in US because of my family, especially my parents. I don't like to leave them. For myself, I don't care where I live, but I always had a rough relationship with my parents and now I want to be there for them when they are older. I can't bear to leave them now after all the did for me.

I can sympathize with you and if I was your parent, this is what I would advise to you.

1. Be patient as many tens of thousands of people also go through this wait.

2. Fiancee visa processing is taking about 7 to 9 months for many people,

and since you submitted in March, your case should move to next step (NVC)

around August or September.

3. The first part (USCIS) takes the longest (5 to 6 months), and after that

it moves quickly through NVC and embassy.

4. You are probably only about 4 months away from having your fiancee in US.

By the time, he moves to France, finds a job, change his citizenship,

getting you over there, etc...I bet it will take longer than 4 months.

5. Also, yes if you don't have income to show for, you will have to find a co-sponsor

in the future for US visa processing. Also, starting a visa processing and terminating

may add bit more complication to your future processing.

6. If you guys are really missing each, then why not have one of you visit each other.

That should be cheaper and simpler than changing country of residency,

jobs, visa processing, etc.

7. Lastly, in marriage, many things will test two of you,

and at least one of you must be wise and strong enough to

guide each other to the best path.

I would say, stay on course. I think it's your best option.

[Butterfly123 5]

Some phone texting options: if you both have iPhones, then use iMessage. otherwise, there is whatsapp, viber, google hangouts, skype allows for texting, and of course, Facebook messenger. ALL of these can be used on your phone.

We understand better than your local friends and family because we are going through the same exact process you are. Some timelines are shorter, some longer, but we are all separated from the one we love for some length of time.

Here are the embassy reviews from VJ members for Turkey: http://www.visajourney.com/reviews/index.php?cnty=Turkey

This will give you personal insight from other people who've gone through this country and how their process went.

Here is the embassy information for the embassy: http://www.visajourney.com/consulates/index.php?ctry=Turkey&cty=Ankara

Thanks so much for your help....I had the wrong flag up on my profile. My fiance's nationality is Algeria. But I used what you gave me, thank you so much..

See Butterfly,

Everyone. Not just me. But everyone is here to support you. We all want you to get through this. Do not do this for us, but do this for yourself and your love. We yell "I support you!"

You yell "ALL IN!"

All in....! :-)