Quitting and Starting All Over Again

[ashleyphilly 70]

I understand. So why dont you go and live with him In Turkey until your visa is approved. Believe me you dont have many months left for the visa on hand. Besides if you go to the interview with him, that would almost guarantee your visa approval. Turkey is beautiful. And you would have the opportunity to mend your relationship.

[Julia22 0]

But. it is not working for us. :-( We can barely talk to each other because our work schedules conflict. We have not had a decent conversation for weeks because of this. Nothing could be worse than the situation we have now. For us, anyway. We never know when it will be over. Even if everyone says it will be over soon, I can see for myself that the visa applications being processed have not changed in almost a month. Nothing is progressing.

I do not care about not working. Why would that be depressing? As long as he can support us, I don't care if I have a job or not. I would rather be poor and have nothing than live like this.

The only problem is my parents...but they don't need me at this moment, they are really fine right now.

Yeah, Texas Service sucks lots! I've been waiting for 5 months already for my NOA2 and still didn't hear any news. It's really depressing to wait so long and don't know what may or may not happen. Hopefully things will end up good soon.

[Butterfly123 5]

I understand. So why dont you go and live with him In Turkey until your visa is approved. Believe me you dont have many months left for the visa on hand. Besides if you go to the interview with him, that would almost guarantee your visa approval. Turkey is beautiful. And you would have the opportunity to mend your relationship.

I wish we could live together...but we can't live together without being married. :-( And there is not a place or situation that I can live there without living with him. His family is too far away from him...

[dixi27 5]

i havent seen my fiance since february 8 and i am 6 months pregnant if i can take it anyone can,trust me

[Butterfly123 5]

i havent seen my fiance since february 8 and i am 6 months pregnant if i can take it anyone can,trust me

But maybe you are a stronger person than I am....I could never manage in your situation.

[JIJourney 96]

Just keep chugging along! You are almost there. I have not seen my fiance since last September. Just hit 10 months

[Megan & Luke 93]

But how are you bearing it? I cannot bear it really. It is causing me a real depression. :-( It is making me really bitter.

My now fiance and I have been together around 5.5 years. All of that time has been apart - We've had one month long visit and we just submitted our paperwork July 2.

I know how you feel; you are anxious, impatient, angry and bitter towards USCIS for taking so long, the world in general for making this process so difficult, etc.. You aren't wrong to feel those things at all, I think you need to feel them to get them out. I struggle more with this process and the waiting than my fiance does. In our relationship he is the optimistic one while I am the cautious one. In my eyes I see the possibilities of things going wrong and how LONG this might take.

He suggested I start trying some things: Start planning other things. Be excited about your move in together, plan what kind of place you two want to get and what kind of rooms you want and how to decorate it. My fiance and I are planning on having children, so I went out and bought a few 'before pregnancy' books (What to Expect series is good..) and began talking with him about what we'd have to do to be ready. Since you two are not married, why not discuss marriage plans? My fiance and I talk about this on the weekends when we can see each other. I put together a small, intimate wedding just us with a small budget (under $2000.00). That small budget gets me REALLY involved looking for sales on dresses, deals for B&B's, etc.. It's tough but keeps my mind off the waiting.

Don't get me wrong, there are days where I am just DOWN. I check the USCIS case status a dozen times a day (but so does he). I check processing timelines constantly and I watch Igor's List. It's so hard to live without a timeline. You want to start the US part right now! If you had a NOA2, it's much easier to plan and be OK with the length for the interview. The longest part of this process is the time waiting between NOA1 and NOA2. The interview and medical are nothing in comparison. Once he has visa in hand, you can book that plane ticket ASAP.

Please try to think it over and think it through. The route he has suggested will probably take you much much longer to achieve than the K-1. If you filed in March, August is your cutoff of 5 months. When the 6th month begins, put in a request from your Senator or Congressman. The dates on the USCIS website are not always correct. It isn't a hard set date, look through the K1 timelines here and you can see there are some folks who get it earlier without expediting. You've already put time into this, don't give up on it now. Talk about your future together. Discuss bills, bank accounts, family, home.. jobs. Do it in a way that is US not ME or HIM. Using US helps, ME and HIM reminds you constantly you are separated.

Ignoring any of the above, take care of yourself. Find a hobby or even start a blog or website detailing your experience if you want. Make it private and give the password to family members and friends so they can follow along. You will be stronger for this if you both work at waiting just a little longer. It will be worth it. My fiance and I did not see each other for five years. Our month long trip in May decided everything about our future for us - it was worth waiting even for that.

Don't focus on what is going wrong - the waiting, the time frame, the distance - Focus on the fact that you can make this work. You said your work schedules are tough to work around. Do you mind telling me the difference between them? My fiance and I have worked around both of us having different jobs with numerous scheduling conflicts. There are ways - maybe not what you'd prefer - but remember that there will be times in married life, living together, where you will feel just as disconnected. Work around the conflicts and you'll be happier for it - even if it's not your ideal outcome right now.

Good luck

Edited July 20, 2014 by MeganLuke

[quimolum 12]

I really think you did already a lot in this process (4 months?) don't give up now. Else those 4 months would have been for nothing.

For your information you need a visa to be resident in EU if your fiancé regain his citizenship.

http://www.consulfrance-washington.org/spip.php?article470

The process to France is maybe faster but you have still work to do. France is not cheap to live in. You have to count the time he gets a job, then the time he has his citizenship back then your visa process. All this to live in a country where none of your families is.

I had my doubts too during this process, but once I've waited several months I didn't want to throw those months away for something that was not obviously easier: having my husband in France and having him looking for a job when he is not 'yet' fluent in French (We are working on it :-)).

Just keep living everyday and wait till it is done because there is an end! Your fiancé will get to the interview at the embassy.

[Deagle 508]

hang on there and never quit, its gonna move soon, and u will be together, u said u love each other, u can do it, quitting wont help you, its not a solution, time ks gonna pass and u will be together even if its gonna take one more year, this is a life time relation and it worth it, i am passing in this too but i already married my american wife and we are applying for CR1 and K3 we submitted in April, we are meeting after few days in Turkey, it is really hard ans stressful and put us in depression and sadness but its the only way to be together, and it worth it, imagine you quit and got the approval after couple of weeks, hang on there, time passes quickly, dont be weak, there is a future waiting you together, it worth more than waiting months, be strong and try to meet soon, it will make u feel better

[Girl from Celebes 588]

But. it is not working for us. :-( We can barely talk to each other because our work schedules conflict. We have not had a decent conversation for weeks because of this. Nothing could be worse than the situation we have now. For us, anyway. We never know when it will be over. Even if everyone says it will be over soon, I can see for myself that the visa applications being processed have not changed in almost a month. Nothing is progressing.

I do not care about not working. Why would that be depressing? As long as he can support us, I don't care if I have a job or not. I would rather be poor and have nothing than live like this.

The only problem is my parents...but they don't need me at this moment, they are really fine right now.

I am not trying to lecture you here since everyone is different. My then-fiancé ( my husband now) and I had dated over 5 years before he filed I-129F for me. We had 14 hours time difference and hectic work schedules from both of us. We have met only at once and spent most of times over Skype.

It is just first steps and wait until he comes to the US. There is a big challenge here more for him. Different of lifestyle, environment, etc. You are just dealt with the very first steps of immigration journey. From my experience, being separate for such long time taught me more patience. I never had thoughts my K-1 visa application would be faster. Maybe because I never thinking too much about that.

Patience is a virtue. Maybe the process will give you some lesson how to be more patience. It will make the love between both of you more strong than ever. Also as a test how strong you are facing obstacle during the journey. My advise, just hang in there for a bit. Both of you should encourage each other instead kept telling how depressed you are waiting so long for this process.

[JoKhAnPw 3]

Some may have been waiting since 2013, while others may have been getting approvals; each of us has a unique situation/application. I am a March 2014 filer and patiently waiting for our NOA2. I have not seen my fiancé since Oct. 2013. Because of the seemingly slow process, he applied for a B2 Visa. He has an appointment with the consular next month and as long as we can prove he is traveling back when due (and he needs to be back being in the military), everything should go thru smoothly. Soon as he obtained the appointment date, we did regret of not trying the B2 soon enough! Never never never give up

Edited July 20, 2014 by JoKhAnPw

[Adrian-Gloria 43]

Don't give up! Every day that passes is one closer to your loved one! We're all on the same boat, you can do it!

[wodm 1]

Hello Butterfly123, I have a French citizenship and what I can tell you is if you both want to settle in France. He needs first to get French citizenship, then you both get married in the US and right after go to the French consulat to let them know that you got married and to start the process of recognizing your marriage in France too. Right after you go to the next office in the consulat and ask for a long term visa to join your husband to France. He needs just to show that he has a home in France where you will both live. All that with the condition that he is a French citizen.

If he is not a French citizen it may take up to 2 years to join him after of course he settles, finds a job and show that he can support you financially.

My opinion is that you wait till the K1 process ends. You can do it if other people can. It is hard but it pays off at the end. I know what you feel. I am married and I am in the process of bringing my wife under F2A category which may take more than 2 years.

[Butterfly123 5]

Some may have been waiting since 2013, while others may have been getting approvals; each of us has a unique situation/application. I am a March 2014 filer and patiently waiting for our NOA2. I have not seen my fiancé since Oct. 2013. Because of the seemingly slow process, he applied for a B2 Visa. He has an appointment with the consular next month and as long as we can prove he is traveling back when due (and he needs to be back being in the military), everything should go thru smoothly. Soon as he obtained the appointment date, we did regret of not trying the B2 soon enough! Never never never give up

What is a B2?

[Butterfly123 5]

I am really surprised at how kind you are and how you are all encouraging me. I really appreciate it. It makes me feel ashamed that I am crying so much

about this. I knew it would be a long time, and that was why I always thought it was impossible, this long-distance relationship. But I fell in love and I could not do anything else. I am sorry for complaining so much about it.