Finally am forced to admit being scammed

[2ndMessiah 184]

Palu is the victim of a crime, the victim of a con artist. He has been through the ringer and will continues to be made to suffer.

For him to commit illegal acts tho, say by withholding his wife's green card or trying to forcefully trying to put her on a plane home though subterfuge is NOT the way to go.

Even though people still think the US is the wild west and mob rule is law, it is not. Revenge is not the way.

Get smart, lawyer up and have her dealt with that way.

[waka1 28]

I did burn the bridge with my big mouth when I told her I would divorce her if she went back home last week.This week she is only willing to leave with a divorce decree in hand. I have no desire to have her here for up to a year. Like a tree, the longer she stays the greater her roots here will be and the harder it will be to get her out of here.

Announcing your strategy to your opponent before the battle is joined was a mistake, but water over the bridge. I'm fairly familiar with the legal process of divorce, IMHO, the clear and present danger is you are living in the same house together in an atmosphere that is poison. As others have pointed out, the greatest danger is her obtaining a 209A restraining order and having you thrown out of your own house. In most states these orders are issued 'ex-parte', without the knowledge of the other.

Since she is not talking to you, you can be sure she's getting 'victim' pointers from her new friends and possibly family.

What would I do ? Hire a competent attorney. A 209A can work both ways, you mentioned you were in your 60's. If you're legally considered a senior citizen, abusive behavior can swing in your favor, especially with the timing and age difference. What ever you do, do not leave the marital home. Do not feed into her anger. If she is pushing you into a confrontation, verbal or otherwise, go to a safe room in the house where you can lock the door. Let her pound on the door all night. Your ace in the hole is recording video of the abusive behavior, observed or spoken. Every time that video camera is pointed her direction it will send a large cease and desist message. If you possess any firearms, get rid of them, transfer them to a friend. Be pro-active not reactive...

Good Luck,

Rob187

PS: Just my .02 cents

[2ndMessiah 184]

Announcing your strategy to your opponent before the battle is joined was a mistake, but water over the bridge. I'm fairly familiar with the legal process of divorce, IMHO, the clear and present danger is you are living in the same house together in an atmosphere that is poison. As others have pointed out, the greatest danger is her obtaining a 209A restraining order and having you thrown out of your own house. In most states these orders are issued 'ex-parte', without the knowledge of the other.

Since she is not talking to you, you can be sure she's getting 'victim' pointers from her new friends and possibly family.

What would I do ? Hire a competent attorney. A 209A can work both ways, you mentioned you were in your 60's. If you're legally considered a senior citizen, abusive behavior can swing in your favor, especially with the timing and age difference. What ever you do, do not leave the marital home. Do not feed into her anger. If she is pushing you into a confrontation, verbal or otherwise, go to a safe room in the house where you can lock the door. Let her pound on the door all night. Your ace in the hole is recording video of the abusive behavior, observed or spoken. Every time that video camera is pointed her direction it will send a large cease and desist message. If you possess any firearms, get rid of them, transfer them to a friend. Be pro-active not reactive...

Good Luck,

Rob187

PS: Just my .02 cents

What he said. A pro active LEGAL approach.

[raven52 233]

SingleDad2usc,

I just voiced my opinion, and I stand firmly behind it, seems others agree! OP should not walk, but run from this woman!

[SingleDad2usc 71]

Admire your 60:31, but not your advice to OP:

"love the idea, send GC back, write a letter (not notarized) you will continue support, and "send her home! "

U claim others agree, when almost everyone said: doing anything with her GC is a no-no. Further, "sending her home" is a popular lobby, but easier said than done - anyone advising that should "show the money". She'll sure cost her husband a pretty penny, if he attempts to sabotage her status...The last two posters came up with some concrete ideas; but I'm afraid inapplicable:

1. OP is not a senior

2. OP will not set up recording

As to lawyer up: it's definitely necessary to get legal advice, quietly. But using a lawyer to deal with her may, again, turn out to be a war that no macho "adviser" will pay for - if it comes to it. It will be OP who'll be paying both the lawyer and the wife painted by him into a corner.

To the person continuing to use the term "a criminal" describing the voiceless lady: OP said she was NOT. He didn't state she was originally out setting up a scam to entrap any unsuspecting American who might apply. He said, merely: "What makes the whole thing difficult is that my wife is not a plotting, devious scammer.What she is is a woman who can not and will not trust any male.I have seen her reaction to both random males and females and her reactions are very striking indeed."

Edited July 6, 2014 by SingleDad2usc

[belinda63 3,041]

Since the marriage was of no length of time and she contributed nothing to the marital assets she will walk away with nothing but a two-year green card. Oh she might weasel some spousal support for a year or so, maybe, but that would be it.

Once the divorce is filed and the first hearing held he can ask she be removed from the home (if he owns) or if he rents he can simply leave at any time an live somewhere else. Or he could do as a prior poster did and move out and refuse to have any contact with her other than through an attorney. But however it works out her days of being supported by him are very limited.

[Boiler 45,923]

I still like the idea of offering a ticket home

[Kathryn41 3,205]

Several posts containing judgmental comments that offer nothing constructive to the thread have been removed and one post quoting same has been edited to remove the quote.

The OP has asked for your assistance, not your judgment. If you cannot confine yourself to that discussion and post constructively, then please do not participate in this thread.

-VJ Moderation

[NikLR 13,231]

Unfortunately that evil witch still wins. With the stamp in her passport, she's good for at least 2 years. When it's time for the 10 year green card, and she can't prove her marriage was in good faith, with our jacked up immigration system she can still "disappear" and remain illegally. I wouldn't be surprised if she turned up married to some other poor sucker . . .

When a couple is divorced, if ROC is required, it must be filed immediately.

[Asia 2,498]

You can always count on this lame attack on someone victimized by a green card fraudster.

The person treated as an object is the OP: to be used for a green card. Sending a green card fraud back is the LAW, since entry was illegal. The real irony here is the person doing the attacking is pretending to care more for people than the person they are kicking while he is down. The one whose heart was ripped out mercilessly, finances drained, hopes dashed. By a criminal.

That shows you the real character of the person doing the attacking. In a lynching like this mob psychology always rules too. String him up. He's already been put down and weakened by a criminal so let's just join in on the fun.

Congratulations. Very brave.

If you think I attacked the OP, you should read my post once again.

And the post I quoted, cause I was replying to THAT post.

But I agree with some of your words.

The LAW gives people like OP some options, and he's received tons of them here.

And that's the most important thing.

[Unknown Guest 15]

You CANNOT withhold her green card. That is a sure way of getting into trouble.

As to the emotional part - at 60 you should know better than think a 30 yo is into you for anything but money/green card.

Yes, he will. Huge trouble. I am pretty sure it is a felony.

HARSH, but very true.

[deleteddd 35]

Get her a flight back to her country so she can go see her family.

How? (she is in no hurry)

[SingleDad2usc 71]

She just got here.

In my view, there is too much focus on what SHE may or may not do. The only concern should be what OP to do, before he might cause himself any more suffering

[Unknown Guest 15]

Not an easy thing to admit, but with much embarrassment, I have to admit to being played... after so much work trying to get my wife into the US now I have to work at getting her away. Only three weeks here and her intentions are very clear.On second night she stated at 60 I should not have a desire for relations and stated she never had sexual feelings, ever.I asked why she had not previously mentioned this to me and that it was odd considering not one month before we agreed that she should be on the pill which she started before leaving for the US. The next day she said she didn't love me "but who knows, in a month I might". This from a female in her 30s. I offered to fly her home if she was so unhappy and she liked that idea because she thought I would continue to pay all of her living expenses as I had been doing since before we were married.No, that meant divorce. Not a good reaction from her. Now,we seldom talk and if so fight. She spends her days watching tv and smoking and talking to her new filipina friends. She moved into the spare bedroom on day 3 and has yet to unpack her suitcase.Next stop I guess is a lawyer to get me out of this mess as best I can and as fast as I can.And right now, all she will talk to me about is "when will the green card and ss card get here?".And I really did not see this coming. Love can be stupid as well as blind.

So you two have never had sex before marriage? Maybe she had different expectations as to the physical side of the marriage from what you had?

[Avery Cates 1,141]

So you two have never had sex before marriage? Maybe she had different expectations as to the physical side of the marriage from what you had?

Always try before you buy.

That's a rookie mistake.

Gosh, you just hate to see it.

Edited July 7, 2014 by Avery Cates