Finally am forced to admit being scammed

[AnotherLostSoul 167]

@Palu: Sorry to hear all this. Of the people who are rude, and mean...just push the ignore button!!! Don't care. Life is too short to care about those people. Care about those who care about you! Simple as that. Here, on this forum, you'll find both of them, so just select the ones who are helpful and nice and care about you. I am very sorry for you, and I hope she signs that darn paper. I would still in the meanwhile file for USCIS a withdrawal based on fraud. Too bad you did not record her saying what she said. Then you would have complete proof. Make sure she does not take any papers that might help her ROC (in case she somehow still gets her GC), such as any paper evidences proving bona fide marriage. This includes joint bank statements, joint rental agreements, joint car/heath insurance, utility bills on both of your names, credit cards, photos, anything that would otherwise prove that you guys entered in a good faith. That way, in case she gets her GC, she'll still have a nearly impossible time at ROC stage. But if you withdraw the application she might even get denied still for her GC. And just hope she'll sign that paper!!!! I really hope she will. And I am sorry of your past hard times too, although don't know them, but I've been there myself, so I sort of understand you. This lady however should not be that painful to leave behind even though you loved her. You'll find someone who loves you truly. I am sure!

All the best!

thank you destiny64 for your constructive advice. Even though this is an open forum I still am amazed at the number of truly nasty people on it. Even though I am trying to protect myself from a terrible situation this coming week will be one of the 2 or 3 most painful of my life. I would like to curl up in a ball and stay there for a year. I deeply loved the girl (still do) and it is hard to go forward but know I must.I am sure at least 1 shithead will attack me for this....a three fingered solute in advance

[SingleDad2usc 71]

Correct note: it's unfortunate to see so much politics entering this sub-forum daily. These members are completely oblivious to the fact that Major Changes in Family are humanitarian issues. By definition, no victim here foresaw their unfortunate situation in the hands of spouse. Many could not foresee their new spouse abandoning them. In a few exceptional cases, mothers abandoned babies - an outcome that even nature scientifically is not allowing for

Yes, some just come for entertainment to make others miserable , makes themselves feel better about their own lives. At the same time there are many people who come here to give good advice , sometimes advice we don't like to hear but nonetheless perspectives people may not have thought about. It's all in the way it's presented. There will always be those that just come here to poke fun at people who put themselves in a bad situation by being naive and trusting. Maybe some are even doubting that they aren't in the same situation as you , and just haven't figured it out yet. Just get through this the best way you can , move forward and don't look back.

[cdneh 3,112]

Correct note: it's unfortunate to see so much politics entering this sub-forum daily. These members are completely oblivious to the fact that Major Changes in Family are humanitarian issues. By definition, no victim here foresaw their unfortunate situation in the hands of spouse. Many could not foresee their new spouse abandoning them. In a few exceptional cases, mothers abandoned babies - an outcome that even nature scientifically is not allowing for

And there are some, who carry around a very large chip on their shoulders. Some who need to find a way to put it down, and walk away.

[SingleDad2usc 71]

OP still needs PROPER guidance, before he gets himself into more trouble. Most of the initial posts centered on hurting his wife - an example of wrong goal. OP's goal should be a happiest wife possible - but out of the house, and out of marital ties to him

[Boiler 45,927]

and his wallet.

[palu 23]

She seems pretty cooperative to sign the annulment and go back to her own country. That does not sound like a scammer to me.....her motivations to marry were not purely based on wanting to stay in the U.S. Sounds like you two just had different expectations. She might not have expected to have to have sex with a much older man. While you expected to have sex with a 30 something year old Filipino woman as part of the marriage.

[/quote

Despite a previous statement of mine, I will talk for a moment about sexual expectations of my soon to be ex wife. We had disused our future sex life together on skype. We also agreed that she should be on the pill as she would be going back to school upon her arrival in the US. She had gone to her doctor in the PI and came to the US with 3 months supply of birth control pills. And yes, I saw them. So much for her expectations

Right now, I am very bitter and for once understand why so many males consider filipinas little more than sex toys to use and throw away. It kills me that I have to keep her under my roof and look at her face until she signs the annulment and is dropped at the airport.

[destiny64 222]

She seems pretty cooperative to sign the annulment and go back to her own country. That does not sound like a scammer to me.....her motivations to marry were not purely based on wanting to stay in the U.S. Sounds like you two just had different expectations. She might not have expected to have to have sex with a much older man. While you expected to have sex with a 30 something year old Filipino woman as part of the marriage.

[/quote

Despite a previous statement of mine, I will talk for a moment about sexual expectations of my soon to be ex wife. We had disused our future sex life together on skype. We also agreed that she should be on the pill as she would be going back to school upon her arrival in the US. She had gone to her doctor in the PI and came to the US with 3 months supply of birth control pills. And yes, I saw them. So much for her expectations

Right now, I am very bitter and for once understand why so many males consider filipinas little more than sex toys to use and throw away. It kills me that I have to keep her under my roof and look at her face until she signs the annulment and is dropped at the airport.

Isn't it an expectation when you get married that there will be sexual relations ? Come on, be realistic here! Why would he be shouting scammer ? Many men marry women a lot younger than them and you can bet they expect sex, why wouldn't they?? It just seems pointless that you needed to explain yourself Palu.... some people and their judgemental thinking about age differences ! Ask me how I know? My father is married to a woman from Thailand, he was in his late 60's and she was in her late 30's when they married. It works for them....

[SingleDad2usc 71]

Thanks for your story Destiny64, I can only imagine the year that happened in your family...Nowadays, webcams oftentimes replace the actual thing. In Japan, cybersex has been been determined to be the culprit for both males and females avoiding the bother and hassle of physical relationships... Webcams facilitated a great deal of flirting in a case at hand; but once the "other side of the bargain" - the GC - was consummated, the excitement waned.

It's hard to follow OP: forum heard zero history pre-landing. And whether they're seeing each other until the meet up at the Law Offices. A reasonable expectation: that she is getting plenty advice in the meantime. So OP's bluff to legally scam the scammer may work - or it may backfire. Once across the table, she may insist that she's not flying until she has GC and SSN in hand (?)

Edited July 12, 2014 by SingleDad2usc

[palu 23]

Thanks for your story Destiny64, I can only imagine the year that happened in your family...Nowadays, webcams oftentimes replace the actual thing. In Japan, cybersex has been been determined to be the culprit for both males and females avoiding the bother and hassle of physical relationships... Webcams facilitated a great deal of flirting in a case at hand; but once the "other side of the bargain" - the GC - was consummated, the excitement waned.

It's hard to follow OP: forum heard zero history pre-landing. And whether they're seeing each other until the meet up at the Law Offices. A reasonable expectation: that she is getting plenty advice in the meantime. So OP's bluff to legally scam the scammer may work - or it may backfire. Once across the table, she may insist that she's not flying until she has GC and SSN in hand (?)

To answer your question SingleDad2usc, we are both still in the same house. Lawyer said middle of the week and I work weekends. I don't anticipate any change in her demands, but who knows? She can not ask for more financially because with everything there is very,very little left at this point. I also believe that the source of immigration info came from filipinas that she has met here and I am under the impression that they are avoiding her. I do not understand the reference to the GC or SSN, what good will having or not having do her at this point? I do think she will go home. The free ride lasted for over a year and a half and is about to come to a halt....let mom and dad support her and see how long that lasts. I feel like I have been playing catch the hot potato back and forth with them and daughter is afraid to tell them the most recent developments.

[SingleDad2usc 71]

You make it sound like she's absolutely not in command of her destiny, on daily basis. Like she can only be narrowly dependent on one party at a clip, be that for major advice or day-to-day living (?)

[rlogan 2,036]

She seems pretty cooperative to sign the annulment and go back to her own country. That does not sound like a scammer to me.....her motivations to marry were not purely based on wanting to stay in the U.S. Sounds like you two just had different expectations. She might not have expected to have to have sex with a much older man. While you expected to have sex with a 30 something year old Filipino woman as part of the marriage.

There is a class of bigoted people on this forum that seems beside themselves to spew bile about age differences in marriages, much the same way racists fumed about inter-racial marriages in times past.

So beside themselves that when someone signs a legal document admitting they committed fraud... the bigot continues to insist that it was the horrible social calamity of inter-age sex.

It is good though that this kind of bigotry proves how crazy it is. As with racists, they are dead sure of themselves to the point where they just cannot be reasoned with.

[SingleDad2usc 71]

As much as one would want to derive any general lesson from this case, it does not appear a regular case at all. It appears: there is this close to 40y.o. woman, who has no idea where she is and for what. She has zero support. And that seems a tragedy here. She would have no idea what VJ is, and is likely not much of Internet user. Her English is limited, and she is not in a major urban area to seek much advice in the community. So OP decides to send her home, although she has a 2y GC - and she'll probably fall for it. Looks like nothing to see here after all. All of this was waste of OP's, wife's, her family's, USCIS's and our members' time. The only lesson I personally derive: when OP is so skimp (3-week history we got), the topic is likely waste of time - no matter what the headline claims. Actually, being scammed doesn't mean a victim of a scam. OP appeared to have created more of this affair than his wife did. So best of luck to both - no huge drama here

[seaguliable 6]

Yeah but the wheels of government processing turn slow .....go to a immgration attorney and find out if the paperwork has been processed yet , if not full processed ask attorney to withdraw application then go home and give her big smile ....from things I wished I known three years ago

Yeah but the wheels of government processing turn slow .....go to a immgration attorney and find out if the paperwork has been processed yet , if not full processed ask attorney to withdraw application then go home and give her big smile ....from things I wished I known three years ago

[Villanelle 4,122]

Singledad- I was totally on board with you when you said "it's unfortunate to see so much politics entering this sub-forum daily... (snip) ... members are completely oblivious to the fact Major Changes in Family (forum) are humanitarian issues."

But then you totally lost me with your I dont know how else to phrase it but mmm gawking at the recent posters here.. Your analyzing and evaluations and explanations of human behavior.. Is this like a zoo? A science experiment? A social experiment? Are you studying psychology in your spare time?

Sure human behavior is fascinating but making a comment like : Looks like nothing to see here after all. Are you kidding me? Thats not something you say outloud- think it if you must but never say it.

His story and his life is not here to amuse you, so sorry if it wasnt drama filled enough for you.

He didnt post this so you could analyze him Dr Freud

Or so you could stare at the animals behind the bars in the cage

Or for you to take notes and preach about the state of humanity.

I can not influence what you do but I would hope you ​please do apologize as he did not ask for this -- and on a side note if you are looking for a long dram filled story chock full of morality, ethics, USCIS, fraud, abuse and misgivings of justice I can post you my story and give you free reign to judge and analyze and debate away as we go.

Edited July 15, 2014 by capri

[SingleDad2usc 71]

Capri, u r one of the two most helpful members in "Effects of Major Family". So I'll explain.

1. Thanks for the drubbing, that's why I love u. Objectivity is paramount. I will always be humbled in your hands.

2. One day I might be in OP's position - so I thought. The reason I'm changing my opinion at this stage of the topic: now, on page 10, we learn totality of the wife. A very unusual one for a topic "being scammed". It turns out: the wife is clueless about every stage ( from beginning to the end ) of the immigration process. She appears to have zero support. So there is nothing to learn about avoiding her attempted scamming "ways". There is also not much to advise OP, as it turns out.

3. So, unless this picture is suddenly changed again this week - what's there? There is no lesson in totally irrational behavior - so let's just all hope for happy ending. I see no immigration side to this couple's unfortunate adventure, and the adventure is about over