What was your life like when you first moved to the US?

[wong_watkins 1]

Sometimes I just wonder, how many of you had a miserable beginning like me when you first moved here? Thinking back now, is it getting better or worse? Did you even end up leaving?

I remember when I first moved here hubby was working a 3rd shift job so I was home by myself at night all the time. I would stay up all night because I couldn't go to sleep without him. I was always scared to be home by myself too, and I would even put hubby's AK-47 by the bed when I sleep...

Money was tight so there was no cable, no computer, no entertainment...Hubby was always tired when he was home and didn't feel like taking me to places all the time...I didn't know how to drive(was actually TERRIFIED of driving) and he had a piece of ####### car...

Hubby's temper used to be real bad and I needed a lot of attentions when I first got here cos I was so lonely..LOTS of misunderstandings between me and him. We fought all the time and I packed my suitcases probably about 20 times, even knowing that I have nowhere to go...

Oh Lord our marriage was so bad we can't believe we're still together now...Thank God things have gotten so much better in so many ways I wouldn't have thought I would still be here with him by now. We realise that we have been through so much together our love is only growing stronger..

[Identity 0]

Those that did leave had a second-chance at life. A unique opportunity to make it better.

I would have to say that being stuck in the nightmare that is suburban America was like being on a merry-go-around - Target, Walmart, Steak 'n Shake. Just like Groundhog Day.

Best of luck to those that stayed.

[Toledospod 0]

I have to say that it was a real culture shock for me at first. My wife really supported me through it all. I had no job for 3 months, we were eating away at our savings that we brought with us and I only knew my wife's sister and her husband. I always tried to remain positive about things though(certain things in my life have given me a more positive outlook on life now). In the end it all worked out for us. I have 2 part-time jobs, more friends and I'm really enjoying myself now.

For me, I don't think I once ever considered leaving and moving back home. My parents were so worried about me for the first few months that I had made the wrong decision and their were always asking if I regretted the move and I always said 'NO'.

[KTMMAN(non compus mentis) 0]

Ive been here for 2 months now wife is out working and am on my own all day I dont drive yet and mainly just walk to places I need to go,Im in a small town in W.A and Im finding it hard the way things are done over here everything seems to take a lot of sorting out,stuff like getting bank account,car insurance,I was looking at getting a motorcycle to get round on but even that is not straight forward as to pass your test here you have to first off own a bike with insurance but you cant get insured till you pass your test?eh,and insurance well even though I have full no claims bonus back in the U.K. it dosnt count for nothing here, bit like your credit rating,so I am classed as new driver and will have to pay the same rate as a sixteen year old(Im 50)oh and another thing they say is because we drive on the right in the U.K. that makes me a higher risk over here(what #######).

Im heading off for my written test this weekend so that will at least get me started on the road to being a fully fledged driver over here.

I suppose it will get easier and better, but it just hacks me off that you have all the good records of driving,credit,work,etc from your home country and it dosnt count for nothing here,but then I am a Brit and we like a whine dont we,but def not going back to U.K.except for me hollys,as U.k. is 10 times worse to live in than here!toodle pip

[ChristinaM 0]

Oh my....

The first few months were ok, because we had the excitement of getting married and me learning about a whole new place. My hubby wasn't working, and I didn't have EA, so we spent a lot of time together and it was nice.

The downside was that we had very little money, so we lived on CCs and cashed-out 401(k)s and things got very financially scary. My husband couldn't find a job, so we put him back into school, and then when he came out of school he didn't work and got very depressed. My job is in sales, so my base salary is not that high and during my learning period I didn't sell enough to make enough money. We fought a lot, and it got to the point where I didn't know how we were going to get through it - but we did.

Now, 18 months down the road, things are settling down and I'm glad I'm here. There were certainly times that I wondered.

[doodlebug 3]

I was always scared to be home by myself too, and I would even put hubby's AK-47 by the bed when I sleep...

:blink:

May I ask why your husband has an AK-47 in the house?????

[wong_watkins 1]

I was always scared to be home by myself too, and I would even put hubby's AK-47 by the bed when I sleep...

:blink:

May I ask why your husband has an AK-47 in the house?????

Just in case if he ever needed it.....

just kidding....

[Chris-n-Veronica 0]

I was always scared to be home by myself too, and I would even put hubby's AK-47 by the bed when I sleep...

:blink:

May I ask why your husband has an AK-47 in the house?????

In my part of the country it's normal to have a gun in the house(because hunting is big here).. and AK47 is really just for fun..as it's not a good hunting weapon..not that it couldn't be used... But some people..me included love to go target shoot..it's like a hobby.... So while some area's/Countries.. look at having a gun in the house as aggressive.. in my area..it's normal..and expected

I'm glad to see most so far have stuck it out here... Veronica isn't here yet..but I've been reading all I can of the problems she could face..and I want to be of support to her...and be ready for alittle crying...and craziness.

[TenderCat 0]

If it wasn't for the happiness and love i shared with my wife, i would have returned home in a heartbeat, and still would to this day.

I found it hard to settle in the US, being away from family and friends. The inability to do the things i once done, was also a major unsettling point. To this day, id still move back to the UK, as i have in all honesty, not made any friends and that sense of lonliness is a killer

[grass 0]

I have to say that it was a real culture shock for me at first. My wife really supported me through it all. I had no job for 3 months, we were eating away at our savings that we brought with us and I only knew my wife's sister and her husband. I always tried to remain positive about things though(certain things in my life have given me a more positive outlook on life now). In the end it all worked out for us. I have 2 part-time jobs, more friends and I'm really enjoying myself now.

For me, I don't think I once ever considered leaving and moving back home. My parents were so worried about me for the first few months that I had made the wrong decision and their were always asking if I regretted the move and I always said 'NO'.

I couldn't image that 'londonspod' had culture shock because he came from England. I came from a totally different including culture and language country. It seems I came to the world again as a new-born baby but nobody can help me like mom. I feel so lonely and helpless. Anyhow, all those gone though I couldn't say I have melted into this society. But I feel better

[Ladylethal 12]

If it wasn't for the love I would have gone back home already. I'm here for 3 months and we too have a shortage of money so far, we're both recent graduates, hubby works two jobs so there are times in which he's at work 16 to 18 hours, those being Wednesday through Friday, and then he'll still have to work all night on Saturdays, which means he's always tired on the weekends, so we don't go out much and I pretty much stay in the house by myself. I still don't speak spanish so I feel isolated from everyone else here and although I drive, we only have one car so my husband needs it to go to work so I either have to drive him and pick him up or I stay without the car. Either way I dunno where to go most of the time, so I end up staying home. I hope I'll learn the language in time to get a job when my green card comes, and that things will be better then, 'cus my husband will be able to work less and have time to find his ideal job as opposed to working in anything just to pay the bills.

[rob&ana 0]

Well...

For me it was the weather, I was cold all the time, and I guess that being at home and spending some time alone didnt make it better. Then it was the fact that I found myself scared to go out on my own. I would wait for Rob to come home even to go to the supermarket (which wasnt far, but it was cold). Then the exasperation of the AOS process, I wanted (as everyone else) my EAD NOW!! I had a job lined up already, so waiting for the EAD to start working was torture. Then... It was that even though Rob was working, I was eating my saving away, that scared me.

But ... as every tunnel, there is light at the other end. I started working, hence had to start using public transportation, soon (because it was cold) we got another car so I could go to work, I hated to drive those first days, cause I didnt know where anything was, and I was terrified that if I turned at the wrong light I was going to get lost for ever...LOL.

Now, 15 months later, everything is more 'normal'. I still celebrate every time I get from point A to point B. I still celebrate that I can do certain things more 'independently' from Rob (because frankly, who wants a clingy wife???). I still have tons and tons of things to learn regarding ... well... I dunno... everything!! from certain benefits at work to... using tools for our home improvements.

I am still enjoying my ride. We never had serious money issues, and Rob's schedule was and still is pretty flexible so we spend a lot of time together. So... it was never too too bad...

[wong_watkins 1]

... Then it was the fact that I found myself scared to go out on my own. I would wait for Rob to come home even to go to the supermarket (which wasnt far, but it was cold). ...

I was the same way...just dunno why I was so scared to go out by myself...just felt like I was in a world that I don't belong

[Chris-n-Veronica 0]

... Then it was the fact that I found myself scared to go out on my own. I would wait for Rob to come home even to go to the supermarket (which wasnt far, but it was cold). ...

I was the same way...just dunno why I was so scared to go out by myself...just felt like I was in a world that I don't belong

Yes I think Veronica will have this same problem... As she was born..and grew up in the same town.. and of course Moldova is different.. ..I asked her one night when i was there maybe we go to the Cafe...it was like at 11pm and she told me it wouldn't be safe for me..because the bad people go out at night... I'll assume she will think it's like that here...and I'll have to deal with that.. here the most that will happen is guys being fresh...hhahahahah

Yes the journey doesn't end when you step of the plane...

[wong_watkins 1]

... Then it was the fact that I found myself scared to go out on my own. I would wait for Rob to come home even to go to the supermarket (which wasnt far, but it was cold). ...

I was the same way...just dunno why I was so scared to go out by myself...just felt like I was in a world that I don't belong

Yes I think Veronica will have this same problem... As she was born..and grew up in the same town.. and of course Moldova is different.. ..I asked her one night when i was there maybe we go to the Cafe...it was like at 11pm and she told me it wouldn't be safe for me..because the bad people go out at night... I'll assume she will think it's like that here...and I'll have to deal with that.. here the most that will happen is guys being fresh...hhahahahah

Yes the journey doesn't end when you step of the plane...

God bless your heart...

You know, I think if the spouse just try to be supportive, you can really get through this. But the sad part is, I do think that sometimes when the foreign spouse start having problems adjusting they just don't know how to deal with it.