Interview in Nigeria

[crazi4christ 1]

Wow were do I start. THanks Michelle and Celeste and Karen and everyone else for your comments.

Michelle thanks for you support.

I WANT YOU TO KNOW NEVER ONCE I HAVE I EVEN THOUGHT MY HUSBAND WAS SCAMING ME!!!! HE DOESNT PLAY GAMES. WE BOTH ARE ADULTS AND DONT DO THAT #######. WE ARE HONEST WITH EACH OTHER ALWAYS. I am not like sorry most of you who only met your SO once. I traveled and saw him 3 times before we even got married so yes I do know him very well. All that we are going through is crazy. But God is INCONTROL. I havent given up and I wont. I just dont feel i should have to pay more money into this cause. I know that kelita is steves so why should have i to pay to prove that. So I will be contacting my congress women soon. I pray that she can put an end to all of this. And Mich I agree what will they say they need next. There should be something that states how much they can harrass us. It is crazy.

Well steve Went to the embassy his CO was really Nasty. Steve had all this paper work and proof and the man yelled at him and said I dont need any of that I want a DNA test of your child in America. SO it is just something seriously for them to try and prolong him coming home to be with us. But thats Ok I WONT STOP FIGHTING FOR HIM TO COME. HE WILL, BE HERE SOON WITH US IN JESUS NAME!!!!!!!!

CEL I know that you all are going though your own interview soon. And if you love him and belive in him then fight for him to come. Dont stop. But girl you have to know in your heart if you want this truely or not. NO wavering because it can be a long road>><>

Karen I am sorry that things didnt work out for you. I really am but just because Steve is a N doesnt mean that he is bad like Vic. M and I talked years ago and we had Red flags when you told us about Vic. Steve has never once made me doubt him. Sorry but its true. He a a true MAN OF GOD>

But seriously if someone wants to talk to me and they arent goona try and talk ####### if you think there is some kind of Red Flag here that I dont want to see you tell me. I know the truth.

I thank everyone for your comments. Yeah Nigeria Has alot of CORRUPT People but so Does AMERICA. And not only that Nigeria has so many people there from other contries. So It might not even be a true Nigerian doing some of the #######.

Oh well my thoughts dont matter if you have already made up your minds about it.

But I dont. All I know is that GOD IS INCONTROL>>

THanks for your prayers. God bless you all.

[ursy 0]

Wow were do I start. THanks Michelle and Celeste and Karen and everyone else for your comments.

Michelle thanks for you support.

I WANT YOU TO KNOW NEVER ONCE I HAVE I EVEN THOUGHT MY HUSBAND WAS SCAMING ME!!!! HE DOESNT PLAY GAMES. WE BOTH ARE ADULTS AND DONT DO THAT #######. WE ARE HONEST WITH EACH OTHER ALWAYS. I am not like sorry most of you who only met your SO once. I traveled and saw him 3 times before we even got married so yes I do know him very well. All that we are going through is crazy. But God is INCONTROL. I havent given up and I wont. I just dont feel i should have to pay more money into this cause. I know that kelita is steves so why should have i to pay to prove that. So I will be contacting my congress women soon. I pray that she can put an end to all of this. And Mich I agree what will they say they need next. There should be something that states how much they can harrass us. It is crazy.

Well steve Went to the embassy his CO was really Nasty. Steve had all this paper work and proof and the man yelled at him and said I dont need any of that I want a DNA test of your child in America. SO it is just something seriously for them to try and prolong him coming home to be with us. But thats Ok I WONT STOP FIGHTING FOR HIM TO COME. HE WILL, BE HERE SOON WITH US IN JESUS NAME!!!!!!!!

CEL I know that you all are going though your own interview soon. And if you love him and belive in him then fight for him to come. Dont stop. But girl you have to know in your heart if you want this truely or not. NO wavering because it can be a long road>><>

Karen I am sorry that things didnt work out for you. I really am but just because Steve is a N doesnt mean that he is bad like Vic. M and I talked years ago and we had Red flags when you told us about Vic. Steve has never once made me doubt him. Sorry but its true. He a a true MAN OF GOD>

But seriously if someone wants to talk to me and they arent goona try and talk ####### if you think there is some kind of Red Flag here that I dont want to see you tell me. I know the truth.

I thank everyone for your comments. Yeah Nigeria Has alot of CORRUPT People but so Does AMERICA. And not only that Nigeria has so many people there from other contries. So It might not even be a true Nigerian doing some of the #######.

Oh well my thoughts dont matter if you have already made up your minds about it.

But I dont. All I know is that GOD IS INCONTROL>>

THanks for your prayers. God bless you all.

AMEN HE IS IN CONTROL AND NOTHING IN THIS WORLD HAPPENS IF HE DOES NOT ALLOW IT. AND WHAT THE DEVIL MEAN FOR EVIL GOD CAN TURN IT IN TO GOOD. BECAUSE ALL THINGS WORK TOGETHER FOR THE GOOD TO THOSE WHO ARE CALLED ACCORDING TO HIS PURPOSE.WE ALL SAY WEEPING MAY ENDURE FOR THE NIGHT BUT JOY COMES IN THE MORNING!! SOME OF OUR NIGHTS ARE LONGER THAN OTHERS!!! SO DO ALL THAT YOU CAN .....CONTACT THE REPRESENATIVE....GIVE THE DNA.....BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH .. Do your best and remain consistent. The race wasn't given to the swift nor the battle to the strong but to those who endure to the end. So do your Best and let God do the Rest. Good Luck to All !!

[BESANGIN 0]

Oh Janita,

My dear friend, I am sorry to hear that the saga continues. I had the pleasure of meeting Steve, and I said to you before that I found him to be an honest sincere person. SO you do you and don't listen to anyone but YOUR GOD, YOUR HEART, and YOUR HUSBAND! Like I told you before, if I had known that my EX husband was such an INCREDIBLE A$$HOLE!!!!!!!! I would have prayed for Steve to have his visa instead of the glob of WHALE FECES that I married getting his. Karen, I understand 100% what you are saying and believe me I can relate to a lot of what you went through, but girlfriend there is a time and a place, and this is not it. Yes, the embassy has better insight as to what really happens there, I give them that, BUT, they also take advantage of the position, and spend WAY too much time persecuting the legitimate people and not enough time rejecting the GARBAGE! If I had found this website before I married that Lagos Boy, I would not have married him, because I would have seen the pattern that they use. 90% if not more of the meeting and dating stories are the same, but to save face, I went through with it. So I have taken my big girl pill, I went to the laundromat, cleaned the BROWN stain off, and I have gone on with my life. I am living with and managing my consequences. Is it easy? HELL NO!!!! But I am determined that I will rise a stronger and better woman from the experience. Plus you all will read all the details in my upcoming book. I have seen many innocent and love sick ladies come on here since I went through my drama, and I see that in a matter of time 9 out of 10 of them are going to have there lives turned upside down and will crash and burn in the end, but I never commented on any. The reason being, when I was being warned, I didn't listen either. People have to live and make their own mistakes PERIOD!!!! As friends, all we can do is support them and help them pick up the pieces. I am grateful for being blessed with an INCREDIBLE support system in my family and friends. ch0c0late1 and her husband are my HEROES and always will be, and guys I promise I am coming to see the new place!!!!! Janita, you were there for me even when you were fighting your own battles and for that you will always have loving support in me. So this is not a slam on Nigerians. It is what I have experinced, learned, witnessed, etc...... I do know that if this is not your story or you are 100% certain that your spouse is on the up and up, then I don't need any angry words shot back at me, but if I struck a nerve, ask yourself if you go through with it will you be strong enough to survive the devastating financial and emotional aftermath? No matter what is said and done it's your life, and your choice. Michele, you better call me GIRL!!!! I left my number for you!! Anyone else want to chat feel free to IM me. Oh, yeah, your girl is on the market again, looking D%$# good, and feeling even better! By the way, the LAGOS BOY who came into my life without a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out of, still doesn't have a POT. SO if you think you getting over, you may get your green card, BUT GOD gonna get wit dat A$$ if you knowingly and deceitfully mess over somebody!!!! SO if you think you gonna come here and start BIG PIMPIN'. AMERICA IS GONNA WHIP DAT A$$!!!! Ask the Lagos Boy. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Janita, call me!!!! I want to try to help too.

Edited January 21, 2007 by BESANGIN

[sercontigo 1]

Why didn't they just ask for the DNA results even b4 Nita applied for the CR1?

Right on!

[sercontigo 1]

I'm currently one of those people who is just as aggressive in asking the immigration to deport my ex-husband back , as I was in bringing him here, and we have a child together.

His first son. At the end of the day none of that mattered, and I feel he'll receive his justice soon and take his flight back to Nigeria with his mind wondering how did this happen!

I am trippin'! I never heard about an african man leaving his child...I am not being rude or funny, but I am really trippin' off this...

[BESANGIN 0]

I'm currently one of those people who is just as aggressive in asking the immigration to deport my ex-husband back , as I was in bringing him here, and we have a child together.

His first son. At the end of the day none of that mattered, and I feel he'll receive his justice soon and take his flight back to Nigeria with his mind wondering how did this happen!

I am trippin'! I never heard about an african man leaving his child...I am not being rude or

funny, but I am really trippin' off this...

Well believe it!!! My Ex was trying to encourage a visajourney member's young husband to leave her, and she is pregnant! He told him that he had to assure his future in America and he did not need her trying to hold him back. He even had the audacity to tell the guy that his wife had him living in a doghouse out in the bush. I told the poor guy, if you saw the living conditions that he came from, you would laugh him under the table! I was just amazed, because I had to ask myself, "Self, you are a reasonable intelligent woman, how could you have been so blind and married someone like that?" I'll be the first to admit that I was taken hook, line, and sinker.

[ursy 0]

I'm currently one of those people who is just as aggressive in asking the immigration to deport my ex-husband back , as I was in bringing him here, and we have a child together.

His first son. At the end of the day none of that mattered, and I feel he'll receive his justice soon and take his flight back to Nigeria with his mind wondering how did this happen!

I am trippin'! I never heard about an african man leaving his child...I am not being rude or

funny, but I am really trippin' off this...

Well believe it!!! My Ex was trying to encourage a visajourney member's young husband to leave her, and she is pregnant! He told him that he had to assure his future in America and he did not need her trying to hold him back. He even had the audacity to tell the guy that his wife had him living in a doghouse out in the bush. I told the poor guy, if you saw the living conditions that he came from, you would laugh him under the table! I was just amazed, because I had to ask myself, "Self, you are a reasonable intelligent woman, how could you have been so blind and married someone like that?" I'll be the first to admit that I was taken hook, line, and sinker.

I guess it goes to show you just how desperate they(the scammers) are getting for the green card

[kitkat1 5]

I would have prayed for Steve to have his visa instead of the glob of WHALE FECES that I married getting his.

If I had found this website before I married that Lagos Boy, I would not have married him, because I would have seen the pattern that they use. 90% if not more of the meeting and dating stories are the same, but to save face, I went through with it. So I have taken my big girl pill, I went to the laundromat, cleaned the BROWN stain off, and I have gone on with my life. I am living with and managing my consequences. Is it easy? HELL NO!!!! But I am determined that I will rise a stronger and better woman from the experience.

Oh, yeah, your girl is on the market again, looking D%$# good, and feeling even better! By the way, the LAGOS BOY who came into my life without a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out of, still doesn't have a POT. SO if you think you getting over, you may get your green card, BUT GOD gonna get wit dat A$$ if you knowingly and deceitfully mess over somebody!!!! SO if you think you gonna come here and start BIG PIMPIN'. AMERICA IS GONNA WHIP DAT A$$!!!! Ask the Lagos Boy. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Janita, call me!!!! I want to try to help too.

Rock on BESANGIN!! Your story is not a funny one but the way you told it had me cracking up. You have a GREAT attitude after what you've been through and I have NO doubt you will recover just fine!!!

[idocare 3]

Hey All,

I believe it's true that we all have choices to make as far as sending these men here, and the outcome of that decision will also be ours to deal with. Janita, as far as you and Michelle seeing red flags concerning my ex-husband Victor, I believe I could say that possibly every case coming from Nigeria is a red flag. Just the mere fact that they're giving Steve a hard time come on, let's continue to be real here, since you want to call me out. You know that it was you that told those immigration people that you had a child that you didn't have, and answered some of the questions inconsistent and wrong. You Janita brought alarm to your case. Maybe God has already spoken on your situation. Everything that we ask for may not be the best for us. Possibly God will give you the desire of your heart, and it may be a long lasting marriage or it may last long enough for you to find a attorney for your divorce once he arrives and situates himself here. Who Knows, I have never questioned your love for your husband, and you can't speak for your husbands intentions because you don't know, your not in his mind nor can you read his thoughts, at the end of the day, all you have is what he tells you.

And for those who like to say that it's the cultural difference's that break up alot of marriages, please tell me why these cultural differences don't come out until that man is here with you and you have helped him get his green card. Why didn't those same difference's come out while his $%& was still in his Country, that's just a lame excuse for that women or man using you. True you can't totally know a person by visiting them three or four times but if the cultural differences didn't make your Nigerian spouse wanna leave you before you sponsored him why would it post-greencard.

BENSANGIN, How are you doing ??? Very nice to read from you, it's been a while. Glad to hear about the book you intend to write, and if you need anything let me know, I'lll do an interview for you :-) I believe that this is a good site to post my thoughts like anyone else does, the fact that my S#$% isn';t cheery and happy, does not and should not leave me sidelined and speechless. Trust me those who read from this site know that they have an option not to read what I write, but this is my reality, just as they write about their journey, I'll also write about mines and it's not appropiate for anyone to tell me that my visa journey shouldn't be heard in this room. Some may call me negative, and that's fine too, but like Bensangin has wrote about ......unknowingly bringing a scammer into this country, and having this person take.....take.....and take from you all in the name of LOVE, give you a baby and not pay that child any attention, draining you financially, could care less about your emotions, then play mental games with your mind, in his attempt to leave you ( it doesen't happen over nite ) but drive you to want to divorce him is all part of my visa journey.

And I will continue to share it. My ex-husband is a medical doctor in his Nigerian Country, and a scammer that is getting his pay garnished by child support enforcement, due to non-payment for his son in this country. He's having to really work for his small pay and legally can't enjoy the lifestyle of an american doctor. LOOK AT GOD !!!!!

Bensangin I applaud you for coming foward with your story concerning your visa journey there are many women who have been dumped and are too embarrassed to talk about it . I'm personally glad to hear that you have good support from family members because when your trust is broken like that it can be extremely unhealthy.

Janita, the sugar is now off the cookie, and you may of seen flags in my case just as immigration may see flags in your case, so if you want to continue to talk about Victor and the flags that you seen , bring it on !!!!!

[masterpiece 2]

If time permits, Masterpiece just may respond to some of these stories. One thing is guaranteed, it may not be too pretty for a lot of people and repsonse will continue unabated no matter whose ox is gored. The word scamming may be dissected and i daresay we may yet find new words describing these trends that have.................On the other hand, i just may let sleeping dogs lie. Sometimes the power of my own words scares me....shitless...................

To all those who feel they have been hurt by Nigerian men, i say this......Let go of the hatred and move on............Oprah would be proud of me for taking this stance. Reconcile within you that you are stronger than you may have let on and oh yeah here`s a thought..............try not to generalize about other Nigerians because of your particular experience. It may constrict and confine you in a box you really do not want to be in this year...2007.

For those who continue to take the leap of faith............do not be dissuaded by stuff you read here because whether the guy was met in downtown Michigan, Atl, or Lagos, for the most part we are all taking leaps of faith. For each story i hear about a guy that "scammed" his way into U.S, there are more storeis about those who have found their soulmates outside the borders of North America.....

I truly wish you all Love, Peace and Joy..........Truly!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[sweetee 0]

If time permits, Masterpiece just may respond to some of these stories. One thing is guaranteed, it may not be too pretty for a lot of people and repsonse will continue unabated no matter whose ox is gored. The word scamming may be dissected and i daresay we may yet find new words describing these trends that have.................On the other hand, i just may let sleeping dogs lie. Sometimes the power of my own words scares me....shitless...................

To all those who feel they have been hurt by Nigerian men, i say this......Let go of the hatred and move on............Oprah would be proud of me for taking this stance. Reconcile within you that you are stronger than you may have let on and oh yeah here`s a thought..............try not to generalize about other Nigerians because of your particular experience. It may constrict and confine you in a box you really do not want to be in this year...2007.

For those who continue to take the leap of faith............do not be dissuaded by stuff you read here because whether the guy was met in downtown Michigan, Atl, or Lagos, for the most part we are all taking leaps of faith. For each story i hear about a guy that "scammed" his way into U.S, there are more storeis about those who have found their soulmates outside the borders of North America.....

I truly wish you all Love, Peace and Joy..........Truly!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ENUF SAID!!!!

[ursy 0]

If time permits, Masterpiece just may respond to some of these stories. One thing is guaranteed, it may not be too pretty for a lot of people and repsonse will continue unabated no matter whose ox is gored. The word scamming may be dissected and i daresay we may yet find new words describing these trends that have.................On the other hand, i just may let sleeping dogs lie. Sometimes the power of my own words scares me....shitless...................

To all those who feel they have been hurt by Nigerian men, i say this......Let go of the hatred and move on............Oprah would be proud of me for taking this stance. Reconcile within you that you are stronger than you may have let on and oh yeah here`s a thought..............try not to generalize about other Nigerians because of your particular experience. It may constrict and confine you in a box you really do not want to be in this year...2007.

For those who continue to take the leap of faith............do not be dissuaded by stuff you read here because whether the guy was met in downtown Michigan, Atl, or Lagos, for the most part we are all taking leaps of faith. For each story i hear about a guy that "scammed" his way into U.S, there are more storeis about those who have found their soulmates outside the borders of North America.....

I truly wish you all Love, Peace and Joy..........Truly!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ENUF SAID!!!!

Well I am one of those women who are taking a leap of faith(with my eyes open)

I have a So in NIgeria and I am not bothered by what Idocare and Ben.....and I would like to hear them share their story. Just because they are sharing their stories and what they have learned does not mean that they have not healed and moved on. Actually it is when someone has been truly and totally healed from a hurt that they can share their honest painful stories. And they have that right to share it. There are sides to every coin. As for the Oprah comment. I love Oprah too but honestly Oprah has moved very well but SHE IS NEVER SILENT ABOUT HER HURT , PAINS AND MISTAKES OF THE PAST! In fact that is one of the things that reminds her to reach and help others who may be going through the same things. As it is said earlier all of the fiance should arise a red flag to the embassy.

So Speak Your Mind Girls !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This world does not have sunshines only there are clouds and even storms.

[BESANGIN 0]

Like I wrote in my post, I don't comment on your relationships and who you are going through the visa process with because like myself, I didn't want to entertain the notion that my at the time love of my life was pursuing me for anything other than love. AGAIN, I will state, NO TWO RELATIONSHIPS ARE ALIKE, and people have to see things and experience them for themselves. I don't recall giving any specifics of what went down between me and him, so I never said that my situation was one of scamming, because honestly, I don't know, and truly don't care. I have a life left to live and there is an honest, gorgeous man out there (In THE STATES OF COURSE, MY CHOICE) with my name on him and I am looking for him. So I telll you all, DO YOU!!!! I pray for all to be happy and prosperous in their relationships. I do have a but however that I will stake my life on and all that I own. There are some warning signs that are clear and obvious, and if any of you told me that you have done one ore more of the following then I would tell you without one doubt that you are in trouble!!!!! I am not going to air all of that here, but there are things you can look for. As untrusting and reasonably intelligent as I am, I threw my reasoning and logic right out the window because all I could see was A "GOOD" MAN, LOVE, and GOOD DING DING!!!!! (He could make a HELL of a glass of iced tea too!) Another thing I learned through my saga, is that Nigerian people don't even trust their own people! I add this because when all the $#&$ went down with us, everyone came out of the woodwork telling me that Nigerian men were no good, and the likelihood of finding a decent one online is slim to none!! Their words, NOT MINE! I said, "Then where the HELL were you when I was telling you that I met this terrific guy, and I was in love?"Not one warning before hand from anyone of Nigerian decent. That does not mean that I blame them or think little of them, I'm sure they had their reasons for keeping quite. But when I heard them speaking out against their own, I was in SHOCK!!!!!! But like I said before if I had this site before I married him, I wouldn't have. The stories read like a recipe to a greencard, mine included so don't get your panties in a bunch. As for the specifics of my story, you got to wait for the book. If you think my posts are something, well you ain't seen NOTHIN' yet. I can tell you, "Hold on TOTO, 'cause you ain't gonna be in Kansas anymore! One more thing I want to add, there was a gentleman on British Expats years ago that I had words with because he was trying to warn women about getting into relationships with Nigerian men. I went off on him so bad in defense of my man. By golly everythong he said to me came to pass! Exactly the way that he said. SO JEFF if you are out there my, deepest apologies to you! A sista just had to defend her man however blindly it was done.

[BESANGIN 0]

To all those who feel they have been hurt by Nigerian men, i say this......Let go of the hatred and move on............Oprah would be proud of me for taking this stance. Reconcile within you that you are stronger than you may have let on and oh yeah here`s a thought..............try not to generalize about other Nigerians because of your particular experience. It may constrict and confine you in a box you really do not want to be in this year...2007.

Such an enlightening statement. May I share one in return? Since I generalize on my own knowledge and experience about Nigerians, it's mine, and I have a right to express it. You obviously experienced a different side, and it is yours and I respect that. The hatred thing was a bit harsh so let me clear that one up too. If I hated him, he would be severly maimed or hanging in someone's hunter's trophy room, since, he is worth more to me crippled or as a trophy, but I don't hate him, and I don't wish any bad to befall him. In the beginning I can't say that my feelings were that honorable, but now, his fate has already been determined, and if there was any inpropriety on either of our sides, the only Judge and Executioner is going to render His judgement on us. I can say, I go to bed every night and I sleep like a big ol' LOG because I KNOW that my conscience and my heart are clear. Like you stated, I am armed with a new firem, new me, and new dreams, so 2007 is my year to shine, and you can't shine if you hang on to things that tarnish! Peace out.

Edited January 21, 2007 by BESANGIN

[sweetee 0]

Such an enlightening statement. May I share one in return? Since I generalize on my own knowledge and experience about Nigerians, it's mine, and I have a right to express it. You obviously experienced a different side, and it is yours and I respect that. The hatred thing was a bit harsh so let me clear that one up too. If I hated him, he would be severly maimed or hanging in someone's hunter's trophy room, since, he is worth more to me crippled or as a trophy, but I don't hate him, and I don't wish any bad to befall him. In the beginning I can't say that my feelings were that honorable, but now, his fate has already been determined, and if there was any inpropriety on either of our sides, the only Judge and Executioner is going to render His judgement on us. I can say, I go to bed every night and I sleep like a big ol' LOG because I KNOW that my conscience and my heart are clear. Like you stated, I am armed with a new firem, new me, and new dreams, so 2007 is my year to shine, and you can't shine if you hang on to things that tarnish! Peace out.

AMEN SISTA!!!! NOW THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING 'BOUT!!!!