Pre-arranged Marriages for your children

[Henia 11]

Our children will be allowed to mary whomever they choose. Afterall, that's what we are doing.

That brings up a good point. I am curious...is anyone on this site in an arranged marriage situation?

I am not sure, but I think not. Seems everyone made their own relationships.

But I am curious about this topic since many people I know from MENA swear up and down their children will marry someone from their town or family. Funny cos all they married who they wanted, not who their parents wanted. LOL

[sereia 0]

my fiance and i would never dream of doing that...or else WE for sure would never have spoken and fell in love! i hope my children will be blessed to go through the same amazing feeling when one falls in love.....

one of life's greatest gifts.

[babybunny 2]

I am against arranged marriage #######! my husband family suggested that schit to me and I DONT thing SO! I would not want to wreck my kids life by being with someone they dont love. to me LOVE is important in a marriage!! I have seen how UNHAPPY ladies have been when forced to marry some fat azz man they dont give a ####### about. I would never want my precious baby look at me and say MOM why you did this to me! oh no they make their own choices in life reguarding their mate.

[UmmSqueakster 54]

While I don't intend to arrange any marriages for my children, I certainly don't view the whole system as #######. I know several couples who have been married, seemingly happily, for decades who's marriages were arranged. Looking at them, they don't appear to be any different from those who married for love. Of course, this is all from an outward appearance, as it's difficult to judge what goes on behind closed doors. But then, we can't see what goes on behind those same doors of a love marriage either.

There are also several different forms of arranged marriages:

1. Where the parents strike an agreement with another family when their kids are young, and the kids are honor bound to fulfill that agreement.

2. When the parents limit the potential marriage pool for their children - ie you're only marrying someone from back home, you're only marrying a (insert ethnicity here), you're only marrying someone from the village.

3. Where parents help their children look for potential marriage partners.

4. I'm sure there are others as well

Now, I would do number 3 if my children asked for it, or if we knew of someone who we thought would make a good match. It would be completely non binding, more of a suggestion rather than a forced marriage.

[ya falaha! 0]

I've known several couples who have had arranged or semi arranged marriages. Their marriages are (for the most part)happy and successful.

While I don't intend to arrange any marriages for my children, I certainly don't view the whole system as #######. I know several couples who have been married, seemingly happily, for decades who's marriages were arranged. Looking at them, they don't appear to be any different from those who married for love. Of course, this is all from an outward appearance, as it's difficult to judge what goes on behind closed doors. But then, we can't see what goes on behind those same doors of a love marriage either.

There are also several different forms of arranged marriages:

1. Where the parents strike an agreement with another family when their kids are young, and the kids are honor bound to fulfill that agreement.

2. When the parents limit the potential marriage pool for their children - ie you're only marrying someone from back home, you're only marrying a (insert ethnicity here), you're only marrying someone from the village.

3. Where parents help their children look for potential marriage partners.

4. I'm sure there are others as well

Now, I would do number 3 if my children asked for it, or if we knew of someone who we thought would make a good match. It would be completely non binding, more of a suggestion rather than a forced marriage.

[Henia 11]

I think alittle matchmaking or offering a few choices is not a bad thing but excepting the son or daughter to marry the person selected (no matter if they appeal to each other or not) is not so nice.

[jordanianprincess 0]

I think alittle matchmaking or offering a few choices is not a bad thing but excepting the son or daughter to marry the person selected (no matter if they appeal to each other or not) is not so nice.

I think there is quite a difference in matchmaking and arranged marriages. Rahma gave a great explanation about the different types of arranged marriages which I thought was great. I agree with Henia, I think there is nothing wrong with the matchmaking that is often called "arranged marriage". With that you usually have a choice and its' really no differnt than paying a website like eharmony or match.com to find a mate for you.

But if you it is a real arranged marriage, where the woman has no choice and meets her husband on the day of the weddding..I don't agree with that.

[Henia 11]

But if you it is a real arranged marriage, where the woman has no choice and meets her husband on the day of the weddding..I don't agree with that.

Yes, I donnot either. My ex told me many stories of people in his country who got married this way. And poor women (girls really) one day out playing in the fields next day hauled off to a far off distant village and married off.

But it would be funny to have matchmaking offices like they do in India. Almost like an employment agency