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Henia

Pre-arranged Marriages for your children

By Henia in Middle East and North Africa

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Henia Experienced

Henia   11

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Filed: Citizen (pnd) Country: Algeria
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I have heard time and time in conversations with people from MENA about 'O my daughter will marry so and so'... meanwhile they are what, 3? My ex had said from even before my daughter was born, who she would marry.

I know many people say this in a joking manner but others are dead serious. What are your thoughts?

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jordanianprincess Experienced

jordanianprincess   0

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Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Jordan
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I have actually had this discussion with my fiance. We both feel that there is no need to discuss it further because we don't even have a daughter yet. We both want our children to follow a more traditional manner to marriage but we will be supportive too if they decide othwerise. As far as who she marries in particular, well he would never force it on her or any woman for that matter and neither would it. We may try to introduce her to guys we think are really great :innocent: but this is so far down the road that we just don't think we need to get into details.

~jordanian_princess~

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M+S Community Regular

M+S   0

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Filed: AOS (pnd) Country: Egypt
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Of Course I would never like that ..I didn't accept it for my self ..because I can't imagine myself living with someone just because it happened that he is MY HUSBAND and I will live with him forever !! I don't think at all my daughter will accept this after 20 years at least from now!!

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melly Proficient

melly   0

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Filed: Country: Egypt
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I never really considered it before. I can certainly see the draw in it for the parents, but I can also understand how many girls/boys wouldn't like this at all.

I'd never force any child of mine to marry someone against their will, but I'd certainly hope that they would listen to any advice I had to offer.

I think my fiance would feel the same way.

Allah tries his chosen people through many hardships, but those who persevere through adversity, surrendering themselves before the will of Allah, shall be blessed with a superb reward.

-The Prophet Muhammad (SAW), as reported by Anas bin Malik

A time will come when the sky is torn apart; when the stars scatter, and the ocean drains away; and when the graves are tossed about, and laid open. At that time every man will be told what he has done, and what he has failed to do; and every woman will be told what she has done, and what she has failed to do.

-Qur'an, Al-Infitar, Surah 82:1-5

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ya falaha! Experienced

ya falaha!   0

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Hmmmm good question. I haven't really thought about that. Mohamed jokes about how my boys will marry an Egyptian girl preferably one from his family. Of course I'll want to meet the girl (or guy if I have a daughter someday) and make sure they are from a good family, have a good upbringing and have good values. Other than that I'll let my kids decide who they want to marry.

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doodlebug Mentor

doodlebug   3

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Filed: K-3 Visa Country: Egypt
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No way. They can marry whomever they want. My biggest problem will be keeping them "pure" for as long as I can. Maybe we'll move to Siberia or somewhere. :jest:

12/28/06 - got married :)

02/05/07 - I-130 NOA1

02/21/07 - I-129 NOA1

04/09/07 - I-130 and I-129F approval email sent!!!!

04/26/07 - Packet 3 received

06/16/07 - Medical Examination

06/26/07 - Packet 3 SUBMITTED FINALLY!!!!

07/07/07 - Received pkt 4

07/22/07 - interview consular never bothered to show up for work.

07/29/07 - interview.

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Ron Paul 2008

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UmmSqueakster Experienced

UmmSqueakster   54

Posted
Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Egypt
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Posted

:no:

Husband and I have actually had conversations about what we would do if our kids did what we did - meet someone they wanted to marry over the internet. We both agreed that we'd tell our kids if they find someone they want to marry, come to us, and we'll all go meet them as a family and get to know them.

I know for myself, I was scared sh*tless of telling my parents, and thus didn't, leading them to get suspicious, snoop in my email and then everything went to hell. My family's visit to Egypt to meet Tamer and his family was worse than hell. I'm hoping we can avoid that with our kids inshaAllah.

10/14/05 - married AbuS in the US lovehusband.gif

02/23/08 - Filed for removal of conditions.

Sometime in 2008 - Received 10 year GC. Almost done with USCIS for life inshaAllah! Huzzah!

12/07/08 - Adopted the fuzzy feline love of my life, my Squeaky baby th_catcrazy.gif

02/23/09 - Apply for citizenship

06/15/09 - Citizenship interview

07/15/09 - Citizenship ceremony. Alhamdulilah, the US now has another american muslim!

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online rihla - on the path of the Beloved with a fat cat as a copilot

These comments, information and photos may not be reused, reposted, or republished anywhere without express written permission from UmmSqueakster.

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doodlebug Mentor

doodlebug   3

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Filed: K-3 Visa Country: Egypt
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I wouldn't take my parents across the street nevermind Egypt!!! :lol: I'd rather have a root canal with no novacaine!!!! :hehe:

12/28/06 - got married :)

02/05/07 - I-130 NOA1

02/21/07 - I-129 NOA1

04/09/07 - I-130 and I-129F approval email sent!!!!

04/26/07 - Packet 3 received

06/16/07 - Medical Examination

06/26/07 - Packet 3 SUBMITTED FINALLY!!!!

07/07/07 - Received pkt 4

07/22/07 - interview consular never bothered to show up for work.

07/29/07 - interview.

4_6_109v.gif

Ron Paul 2008

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Joel Halfwassen Collaborator

Joel Halfwassen   0

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Filed: IR-1/CR-1 Visa Country: Ukraine
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Posted
Our children will be allowed to mary whomever they choose. Afterall, that's what we are doing.

That brings up a good point. I am curious...is anyone on this site in an arranged marriage situation?

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jordanianprincess Experienced

jordanianprincess   0

Posted
Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Jordan
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Posted
Our children will be allowed to mary whomever they choose. Afterall, that's what we are doing.

That brings up a good point. I am curious...is anyone on this site in an arranged marriage situation?

Yes, I arranged it myself. :lol::P

~jordanian_princess~

October 19, 2006 - Interview! No Visa yet....on A/Psigns038.gif

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Jordanian Cat

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Henia Experienced

Henia   11

Posted
Filed: Citizen (pnd) Country: Algeria
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:no:

Husband and I have actually had conversations about what we would do if our kids did what we did - meet someone they wanted to marry over the internet. We both agreed that we'd tell our kids if they find someone they want to marry, come to us, and we'll all go meet them as a family and get to know them.

I know for myself, I was scared sh*tless of telling my parents, and thus didn't, leading them to get suspicious, snoop in my email and then everything went to hell. My family's visit to Egypt to meet Tamer and his family was worse than hell. I'm hoping we can avoid that with our kids inshaAllah.

Wow subhanAllah I agree with Moody. You and your fmaily were brave, but I am sure it worked out for the best... a good way to break the ice.

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