MENA: chauvinist or chivalrous?!

[Henia 11]

Wendy's post got me thinking... many people would say men of MENA are rather chauvinist... but I am sure we, the SO of them would disagree... but in a general sense did you find your SO, their family or country to chauvinist or more chivalrous?

I myself, am used to a more chivalrous enviroment, where I grew up. Women still hold the arm of their men. Men still hold doors open for women. Men are referred to Mr and women as Madame... so maybe I am little more traditional then most. But when I was in my husband's country I kinda felt like I would have except less. But surprisingly my husband and his fellow countrymen were rather chivalrous... women were held in much higher place then I seen in other MENA countries.

What are your thoughts?

[Sofiyya 1,687]

I really like their chivalry, but I'm used to it. I think a lot of American women who think treating a man like a man and allowing them to treat you like a woman is chauvinist are missing out on some of the best things in life!

I started a thread tonight on the OT about having a preference for non-American mates. I believe I do. There are American men who are chivarous, but they seem to be few and far between. I'm an Old World girl from an Old World family, and I like Old World guys. I keep going back for more!

[brnidokiegurl 0]

WIth AHmed he couldnt do enough, here let me take that, here let me etc and his friends were all the same. WHen visiting with them they couldnt have done more to be polite and make me comfortable, they showed much respect for women.

[Caladan 19]

I think a man can be chivalrous without being chauvinist. C. will hold open doors, pay for dinner & evenings out, surprise me with gifts, and he totally spoiled me these holidays..... but is moving here to follow my career for a while, and we treat each other as partners. (I almost wrote equals, but that's not quite right, as we each have our own strengths, and will defer to each other on those things.)

[jordanianprincess 0]

I think they are a mixture of both. Many people have the attitude that women are only capable of certain things but things are changing especially among new generations. Hopefully they never lose the chivalry which I think is wonderful. I like having a man open doors for me and help me carry my things. I don't think that someone being a gentleman should be insulting although there are many that see it that way.

[Henia 11]

I think they are a mixture of both. Many people have the attitude that women are only capable of certain things but things are changing especially among new generations. Hopefully they never lose the chivalry which I think is wonderful. I like having a man open doors for me and help me carry my things. I don't think that someone being a gentleman should be insulting although there are many that see it that way.

Well, no it should not be insulting. Buuut I did catch many people staring when my husband opened doors for me... which made me feel that maybe it humilated him. And is something I did not want to do at all. It depends on that person and the culture preceieve things.

[peezey 0]

I just think everyone should do for each other. If the woman gets to the door first, she holds it open, and vice versa.

[Jenn! 918]

I just think everyone should do for each other. If the woman gets to the door first, she holds it open, and vice versa.

I agree. But I also think that men are just better equipped for certain tasks, like moving heavy objects and stuff like that.

[peezey 0]

I just think everyone should do for each other. If the woman gets to the door first, she holds it open, and vice versa.

I agree. But I also think that men are just better equipped for certain tasks, like moving heavy objects and stuff like that.

Oh, I just call that division of labor/doing the things I don't want to do.

[mybackpages 0]

My first few days in Morocco, I saw it as a very masculine country- men everywhere. The way the men circle you several timesbefore approaching you to talk- it was very discombobulating wheni was still in cultural shock about what was happeneing to me. (It was my first time in Morocco- totally single and knowing no-one) I was afriad to go into the cafe because it was all men!

After some time passes and I began to really get into the reality of Morocco, i realized its not so masculine or chauvanstic, its jus tthe pattern of life- men in the cafes and women in the homes- their own domain to spend time with the friends. I still remember my first time to enter the male dominated cafe....myfriend and I still laugh about that experience.

[Bosco 1]

I think there is a bit of both.

I am aware of grown men who still have their clothes washed for them, meals prepared for them, even those men that pass their days at cafes and are not coming home from a difficult job (and this often means the women washing clothes by heating up pots of water and dragging them up several flights of stairs to dry), as well as men gathering in a home and the women serving them with the men barking orders, even if she is tied up with another task.

On the other hand, I think there is also chivalry as other people have observed.

[cbd2cai 0]

I just think everyone should do for each other. If the woman gets to the door first, she holds it open, and vice versa.

I agree. But I also think that men are just better equipped for certain tasks, like moving heavy objects and stuff like that.

Oh, I just call that division of labor/doing the things I don't want to do.

This is how I am . . . always need some help with the heavy stuff . . . but don't mind opening doors when I am there first . . . unless I am holding something heavy!!!

You'd be surprised when I travel for work the mix of ppl I run into . . . some will help you shove things into overhead bins and others will trample right over you to put their stuff in the place you are trying to get your bag up to.

[mybackpages 0]

I think there is a bit of both.

I am aware of grown men who still have their clothes washed for them, meals prepared for them, even those men that pass their days at cafes and are not coming home from a difficult job (and this often means the women washing clothes by heating up pots of water and dragging them up several flights of stairs to dry), as well as men gathering in a home and the women serving them with the men barking orders, even if she is tied up with another task.

On the other hand, I think there is also chivalry as other people have observed.

Just out of curiousity- i wonder where chauvanism begins and ends when talking about cultural attitudes towards division of labor. Are these divisions rooted in chauvanism or is it that simple? I think I knwo the answers when we are talking about western ideas, but ME/NA? I am a little hesitant to jump in with conclusions.

[cbd2cai 0]

I think there is a bit of both.

I am aware of grown men who still have their clothes washed for them, meals prepared for them, . .. , even if she is tied up with another task.

Funny thing . . . I told my husband that I have a washing machine in my house which I will show him how to use . . . if he needs some washing done and I haven't done it, hehe. He can cook so I think we will be sharing that chore.

[Heartland 0]

I agree with Bosco. My DH is living at the family home again. His sister does all the cooking, cleaning etc. It use to make me angry when he would eat popcorn at night and it would be all over... because I would clean it up, or dishes left all over because he couldn't walk them to the kitchen. He is capable of doing these things and has in the past, but this is how he was raised. Trust me at the end of the 7 months we lived together he was even cooking. He just hates to clean... lol so Do I!!!! Can I be rich enough to hire a maid?!?!?!?!

At the same time, when two problems arose, DH took care of it. He said there must be respect for women (and girls) and these college students didn't have any. I never felt endangered while he was there.

Wendy

I think there is a bit of both.

I am aware of grown men who still have their clothes washed for them, meals prepared for them, even those men that pass their days at cafes and are not coming home from a difficult job (and this often means the women washing clothes by heating up pots of water and dragging them up several flights of stairs to dry), as well as men gathering in a home and the women serving them with the men barking orders, even if she is tied up with another task.

On the other hand, I think there is also chivalry as other people have observed.