Divorce with a pending AOS

[ilovehim30 34]

Me and my husband are in a complicated situation.We fight almost every week about simple stuff and we just cant take it anymore.I agreed with the idea of divorce because he never treated me like a wife,I am more like a roommate to him.We have an 11 month old baby which made things more complicated.I just filed my AOS last MAY.I am here in the US for over a year now and as ive said i just filed my AOS which i should've done long time ago and that's because my husband doesn't want to do it even if he is financially able to.I just dont understand how can he treat me like #######.He is nice to me,acts like a normal person but never acted like a husband to me.After like 3 months of being here he completely changed into someone i dont know.Now,we want a divorce,although i love him with all my heart after everything i think its best for us to go to this route rather than keep fighting in front of our kid.The thing is,I want my kid with me,i want his custody. and since im out of status,what might happen to me is deportation and i dont want that,i cant leave my kid.I would rather die than to leave him.What can i do?please tell me your greatest advice.

[Pitaya 2,577]

~Moved from Family-based AOS to Effects of Major Family Changes on Immigration Benefits Forum~

~Similar topics are often discussed at this forum~

[Girl from Celebes 588]

Me and my husband are in a complicated situation.We fight almost every week about simple stuff and we just cant take it anymore.I agreed with the idea of divorce because he never treated me like a wife,I am more like a roommate to him.We have an 11 month old baby which made things more complicated.I just filed my AOS last MAY.I am here in the US for over a year now and as ive said i just filed my AOS which i should've done long time ago and that's because my husband doesn't want to do it even if he is financially able to.I just dont understand how can he treat me like #######.He is nice to me,acts like a normal person but never acted like a husband to me.After like 3 months of being here he completely changed into someone i dont know.Now,we want a divorce,although i love him with all my heart after everything i think its best for us to go to this route rather than keep fighting in front of our kid.The thing is,I want my kid with me,i want his custody. and since im out of status,what might happen to me is deportation and i dont want that,i cant leave my kid.I would rather die than to leave him.What can i do?please tell me your greatest advice.

If both of you are divorced during the process of adjustment of status, highly chance they will deny granted you a green card to stay in the US as a lawful permanent resident. The hardest part is the custody of your child. If you have a plan to bring your child out from the country, it has to be granted by judge. You just can't bring your child left the country without your husband's permission otherwise they will accused you have kidnapped your own child.

[Caryh 5,206]

Beginning a marriage is tough, even more so when you're mixing cultures and the expectations are very different. You say you love your husband, yet he doesn't treat you as you expect to be treated. Could be your expectations are too high, could be he doesn't know how to treat a wife properly. Have you two tried marriage counseling to try and work out these differences? Often people have no idea how to fight fairly in order to get positive results out of a conflict between a couple. And argument can be positive or it can be negative, it all depends on how you go about it, and what you learn from it. The counseling will also give time for the ASO to possibly be completed, so you can stay in the country as well as possibly saving your marriage.

If you're going to divorce, and he pulls the I-864, you will not be able to adjust status and stay. As your child in a USC and a child of your husband, you're also not going to be able to return to the Philippines unless your husband agrees to it or a judge gives you permission to. Something judges very rarely ever do and only in extreme circumstances.

[Darnell 8,479]

If the AOS was just filed - when you get the RECEIPT NOTICE from USCIS - a new period of authorized stay begins and you are not deportable.

Is rare that USCIS knows of divorce petition granting / awarded unless the USCitizen tells them. It's some grey area in data sharing but is supposed to come up during the next round of background checks. Sometimes it shows up - many times not.

As to your other problems - if you really want that marriage to work - suggest that you two go to marriage counseling. You can go by yourself at first - as it's better that you understand and learn what marriage counseling in the USA is all about. Maybe after 5 or 6 sessions you two can go in together. Still - it's going to be hard and painful but IMO it's worth it.

[*HappyInlove* 6]

I'm so sorry that this happened, it's just sad to think you were so in love before then suddenly it just changed. Is there still a chance that your husband is willing to work things out in your marriage? and for the sake of your child also. I am not an expert here in vj with the processes but hoping there's someone here that could tell you if there's anyway you can adjust status without your husband. But it's still much better you can work things out. Did you officially filed for divorce? because there might still a chance and hope that your marriage will be revived. Just pray to God and ask Him to guide you in this trials, especially it involves your child and for you to be able to be with your child. It's really hard to get custody here in the U.S. because like what the vj member said above that it should be granted by a judge and it's so hard for you to get the custody if you don't have job plus your legal status. I wish and pray the best for you. Hopefully everything will be settled. Goodluck

[Sambl 11]

I'm sorry for your situation. But the best for you 3 is try to save the marrriege.

[ilovehim30 34]

My expectations are not too high.My husband tells me that he feels awkward and uncomfortable just to sit beside me,he doesnt like to take pictures with me,we dont kiss,he wont hug me i would have to ask his permission for me to hug him and yet he wont hug me back.He never complimented me,never called me his wife and he never calls me in a sweet way,would never respond if i tell him i love him.

[Caryh 5,206]

My expectations are not too high.My husband tells me that he feels awkward and uncomfortable just to sit beside me,he doesnt like to take pictures with me,we dont kiss,he wont hug me i would have to ask his permission for me to hug him and yet he wont hug me back.He never complimented me,never called me his wife and he never calls me in a sweet way,would never respond if i tell him i love him.

ouch