WOMAN'S APOLOGIES TO FIANCE FALL ON DEAF (AND ABSENT) EARS

[one...two...tree 2,762]

DEAR ABBY: "Jake" and I have been together for five years. He finally proposed last summer. Well, I made a mistake and complained about the ring he'd bought. He took it back, but still agreed to marry me -- without the ring.

I have apologized to Jake every day since for what I said, but we are now split up. (We still talk and see each other once or twice a week.)

Abby, Jake refuses to forgive me and make up. I spend all my time alone while he goes hunting with his friends or out drinking with them. I'm tired of not being forgiven. I know what I did was wrong. How long can you say, "I'm sorry"? -- BROKENHEARTED IN ALABAMA

DEAR BROKENHEARTED: If you have apologized every day since last summer and it has fallen on deaf ears, you can apologize until the cows come home and it will get you nowhere. Please step back and take another look at this situation.

Most men take their fiancees with them when they purchase an engagement ring, so she can select something she likes. You were tactless to complain about the ring he bought, but it wasn't a cardinal sin.

Recognize that Jake is enjoying punishing you -- and the hunting and drinking with his friends would have happened after your marriage regardless. Jake has done you an enormous favor by showing you how self-centered and unforgiving he is. Please be smart, realize that you have dodged a bullet, stop apologizing and run for the hills.

[Jenn! 918]

Ok, so are we supposed to say whether or not we agree with Abby?

[one...two...tree 2,762]

Ok, so are we supposed to say whether or not we agree with Abby?

What? I can't hear you...I'm out hunting with my friends.

[Jenn! 918]

Ok, so are we supposed to say whether or not we agree with Abby?

What? I can't hear you...I'm out hunting with my friends.

You self-centered #######!

[w¡n9Nµ7 §£@¥€r 123]

Hmm what a strange story. What is the big deal with her complaining about it anyway?

[MichelleandCraig 1]

IMO, Abby would have been far better to say something like "take a step back and realize that something *else* is obviously going on here that has little to do with a ring anymore. If this man truly loved you, and you were truly sorry, he would have forgiven your bit of tactlessness yonks ago..." M.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

Ok, so are we supposed to say whether or not we agree with Abby?

What? I can't hear you...I'm out hunting with my friends.

You self-centered #######!

Gold-digger! ...or Diamond Digger!

[SoL. 0]

OK, that was rude from the girl on complaining about the ring... But I agree with Abby about that she was lucky on not marrying this "man" that was going to leave her out of his "friends" circle. I think that this guy still needs to be single and get over his "boys only" partying spree...

So I guess I agree with Abby?

[Robor007 0]

She's brokenhearted about a guy who's spiteful, unforgiving, and self-centered? More like 'Desperate in Alabama'!

[jordanianprincess 0]

Depending on the way she complained it may have not been rude. She didn't specifically say how she told him but it is possible to tell someone you don't like somehting without offending them. I don't see anything wrong with her complaining about it, she does have to wear it for the rest of her life.

[garya505 2]

I think they're both losers.

When I proposed to my fiancee and gave her the ring (which was nice but not really expensive) she grabbed hold of me and wouldn't let go. I thought I might suffocate but I didn't mind at all.

Edited January 16, 2007 by garya505

[Alex+R 0]

I think they're both losers.

Anyone who asks advice from Dear Abby (who is most often totally deluded in her answers these days) is a total loser.

[Caladan 19]

It's not clear from the letter, especially as letter writers pad the stories in their own favors, but my take:

1) if the guy proposes and you ###### about the diamond, it's your priorities out of whack, not his (it's sounding like it was mentioned during the proposal, not a week or two later)

2) if you're SPLIT UP with a guy, you really shouldn't be expecting him to entertain you instead of going out with his buddies. It's not like they're still together and he's out hunting. They broke up. They still talk, fine, but why does he owe her any more time?

[pedroh 21]

Depending on the way she complained it may have not been rude. She didn't specifically say how she told him but it is possible to tell someone you don't like somehting without offending them. I don't see anything wrong with her complaining about it, she does have to wear it for the rest of her life.

oh lol so she can tell him 'hey looser, get a better job cuz this ice sucks'? lolololol..

now i didn't know the diamond was more important than the engagement/marriage/blablabla

Dear Abby 1S L33T!!! sh3 WTFPWNZ

lol..

[jordanianprincess 0]

Depending on the way she complained it may have not been rude. She didn't specifically say how she told him but it is possible to tell someone you don't like somehting without offending them. I don't see anything wrong with her complaining about it, she does have to wear it for the rest of her life.

oh lol so she can tell him 'hey looser, get a better job cuz this ice sucks'? lolololol..

now i didn't know the diamond was more important than the engagement/marriage/blablabla

Dear Abby 1S L33T!!! sh3 WTFPWNZ

lol..

That would be assuming it was because of the actual size of the diamond and not the style and setting. Like I said before it all depends on how she told him but in either regard every man should take into consideration that his wife will be wearing that ring forever and it should be something she likes. That in no way implies the diamond is more important than the marriage.