Help determining my current overstay

[Pinkrlion 2,724]

Don't you need to check to see if you are divorced?

[TariesL 0]

I can't add quotes as I'm on my phone!

Sandranj: Thank you for answering the California divorce question in the other thread! I didn't see the response before posting here, but thank you it definitely gives me some relief that those are the only two reasons for divorce in California! At least I know she couldn't make up anything for fraud or infidelity.

You mention different timeframes for Vawa approval then AOS. So is that the process, you send everything off for VAWA, and once that is approved, it then goes through AOS, but you don't have to do too much extra for the AOS after right?

Hypnos: Thank you for the advice! I almost certain I remember getting an email saying my file was sent to Vermont, and then possibly another saying it was sent back to the local office - it definitely sounds like it has fallen between the cracks - something I'm ok with, as it has bought my a slight level of comfort whilst getting to this point!

Yeah, I understand not being able to use the a VWP again. I'm just trying to figure out all of my options. It seems staying and filing here is the best case scenario, especially with the current processing times - I'm just trying to plan for all eventualities, as I would love to not go over the 180 days, and get a 3 year ban in the future - just incase - so just trying to plan a back up in case my I-485 is denied on the next couple of weeks

Pinkrlion: Yep, that's today's checklist number one, is finding out if the divorce has happened or not. Being divorced doesn't mean I can't file, You have a 2 year window after divorce to file, and I'm nowhere near that yet - so it shouldn't affect me filing either way now - especially as Sandranj explained, in California, she can't try to claim fraud etc. It will be good to know however, as either way, divorce is how I absolutely want this to end, obviously!

[Boiler 45,923]

Divorce, marry your GF and adjust through her.

Just because you may not have a ban does not mean you will get a B2, well not for a very long time.

[TariesL 0]

Boiler:

Thank you for the advice. Marrying my girlfriend would be the easy option yes, but after going through everything I went through with the ex, marriage isn't something I'm going to rush. Plus weddings cost money, something that is definitely short whilst not working!

You're correct also; there is no guarantee I will get a B2, but if there is a choice between having a ban and not, I would love to not have a ban regardless!

[Hypnos 6,578]

Weddings can cost less than $100 if you want them to. Certainly you're right to not rush into marriage though; it is meant to be a lifetime commitment, and not just a test-drive of someone, as seems to have become prevalent both at VJ and in the country at large.

[AnotherLostSoul 167]

You are right with the experiences you had, you gotta be more careful marrying your current girlfriend. Especially, if ever in the future you decide to obtain permanent resident status through her. Since it'll be on your record that once you already applied for AOS through a previous marriage. So, just take everything cautiously, hold onto that wedding idea just yet and for a while you guys just need to be boyfriend/girlfriend before jumping into the big pool. All the best!

[TariesL 0]

You are right with the experiences you had, you gotta be more careful marrying your current girlfriend. Especially, if ever in the future you decide to obtain permanent resident status through her. Since it'll be on your record that once you already applied for AOS through a previous marriage. So, just take everything cautiously, hold onto that wedding idea just yet and for a while you guys just need to be boyfriend/girlfriend before jumping into the big pool. All the best!

Thank you, and absolutely. I want to enjoy dating. I'm not with her in an attempt to stay in the country, and so marriage isn't even a serious thought right now. And if that time comes, I want to be able to do it fully, properly and enjoy it - not whilst going through a VAWA process I don't think.

[TariesL 0]

You must find out whether or not your wife has filed for or even received a divorce, because this may affect your eligibility to file under VAWA. Even if you are now divorced, you can still file for VAWA within two years of it becoming final, but as Sandra said elsewhere it will be a problem if your wife filed on the grounds of fraud.

Don't you need to check to see if you are divorced?

So, after a good week of calling almost every Courthouse in California, and being given at least 25 different numbers to call, I finally got through to someone who was able to give me the details I needed regarding the possible divorce.

So - My Ex filed for divorce with the courts back in April 2013 (This happens to also be the last time I heard from USCIS, regarding a new interview date, which was then cancelled the next day - I don't know if this is related to that or not?). The case is however still pending, and no judgement has yet been made. So from what I can gather, we are still married? Im not sure if that makes me happier or sadder! I was told I would need to go to a certain courthouse to get the case papers. Should I do this? Or file VAWA first, and then do so?

[Hypnos 6,578]

First, props on the due diligence. I'd certainly recommend you get a copy of whatever she's filed, just to see if she's made any silly allegations or just to get a general idea of her game plan.

If the case is pending then you're still married. You would still have been able to file within two years of any divorce becoming final, but now that's at least one thing you do not have to deal with.

[TariesL 0]

First, props on the due diligence. I'd certainly recommend you get a copy of whatever she's filed, just to see if she's made any silly allegations or just to get a general idea of her game plan.

If the case is pending then you're still married. You would still have been able to file within two years of any divorce becoming final, but now that's at least one thing you do not have to deal with.

Thank you, it was definitely testing my patience attempting to get that very simple piece of information!

So I can go in, and get a copy of whatever she has filed, without being swerved any papers, or it advancing the divorce proceedings etc?

And yes thank you, definitely one thing I don't have to deal with. I am looking forward to filing my VAWA however, and then finalizing the divorce, so I can disassociate myself with her completely!!

[Hypnos 6,578]

If the courthouse says you can go there and get them then that is what you should be able to do. You may have to show them ID to do that (a passport would probably suffice; you may want to check on that).

You won't be served by the clerk, no. If your wife somehow knew you were going to be there and when she could perhaps arrange to have you served, but obviously if you don't tell her then she won't know. IANAL, but it sounds as if she put the divorce on hold when you made the excellent judgement call not to acquiesce to the demands of her and her lawyer.

Edited June 28, 2014 by Hypnos