A long overdue update - from a K1 visa approval to now a hopefully spouse visa

[JLSBMF 16]

So my fiancée Saif arrived back in November and we were married within a week....so much happened that I wasn't prepared for even though I thought I was.

Culture shock for him - seeing me go to work everyday while he stayed home was the hardest to his manhood - having to share me with my children , family and friends when for so long it was just us...my stress level with trying to make everything perfect all the time led to me being short tempered and him feeling like I wasn't the same woman he fell in love with.... bills - stress - work - kids I had so much on my plate...

he fell into a deep depression and became isolated and at times abusive - verbally and emotionally - he could not cope with my independence and I could not cope with being in a cage.....on high emotions he decided to go back to Jordan even though I begged to have him calm down , slow down and try to work things out. It was hopeless and so we filed for divorce and he left - he left sobbing like a baby and regretted his decision immediately.... for months and months we kept trying to make it work back on viber and tango and whatsapp - find away to work past what happened when he was here - what caused us both to crumble and become these two people neither of us knew. I was getting more and more frustrated that after all my hard work here we were again separated so with one final burst of energy - one final give it all I got - I flew back to Amman and spent 8 days with him..... we cried like babies, we argued and made up ... we were in separable - we laughed at our selves and all the craziness that happened when he was here... and finally we both came to the realization that no relationship is perfect and that no matter what we want to be together forever - good and bad - sickness and in health - richer or poorer - we are one.

So now in a few months I will be flying back to Amman and getting married there and begin the whole spouse visa process.....

I cant imagine what USCIS will think when they review our files and story - I will just hope for the best cause only two crazy in love idiots would be where we are today.....

Jen

[aynom 0]

Ran across this; the best of luck to you. My kids and I moved to Italy to be with my husband. Were there 3 years and the culture shock was immense as was the life. I worked all my life and ended up not working there and not being able to find work. Difficult adjustment for the kids in schools, friends and generally how we were treated as the only Americans in a small town there. I have been divorced and am not catholic with children; my husbands family were horrified, treated us very badly and ended up leaving me in tears and many arguments and stress for both of us. In the end, my husband put his foot down and has since separated completely from his family for this reason. He told them to accept us and respect us or he was no longer able to keep close relations. They would not reconsider and he has been away from all of them for several years. He became frustrated all the time and felt a huge weight while I became increasingly depressed and feeling outside of my world and friends. It was very close to ending but not so close to actually be in danger (we are both older and have had some years to know what it is like out there without the other......[smile]). I and my children are now here. He gave up his family, his home and assetts, job, friends, everything to go through this process and come here for me and the kids. We are still waiting......of course. He is in a room now and, like anyone, we live on skype. I would not go back to that time for anything; we were also different people; had known each other for years in both countries before marrying but were really unprepared for the difference in life. I relate a lot to your fiance and you at the same time for my husband's part. Sorry to hear about all that you went to but want to really send a heartfelt blessing to you both for making it so far in circumstances that most couples would not dream of being able to get through. Good luck with your future; you are not alone.

[NikLR 13,232]

~~~moved to progress reports as OP isn't not asking about process or procedures~~

[JLSBMF 16]

Thank you for sharing your story with me - it helps to know there are others out there fighting this battle to be together - my family and friends don't understand all they see is the negative - they never got to see the real us not the two tense crazy people when he was here. I know it wont be easy.. I'm only home three days from being with him and its was so hard leaving him again... but it was also a more mature determined we will overcome anything to be together soon so long airport scene....

I wish we both were more prepared - silly me I though love could conquer all as long as we were together .... we have both learned so much....

and I can honestly say on this - my 6th trip to Amman in less than three years was the most amazing one of all ....even more amazing than our first meeting cause we are now passed the I have to put on my best face stuff - its deep - real - as they say (warts and all) we are still madly in love.

wish you the best of luck - keep in touch

jen