Need help (denied by his american citizen father)

[Hank_ 9,174]

Hi just wanna ask if anyone can help me with my case about my son. My son denied by this own father who is an a a filipino but already american citizen, first is he went home here in the philippines December 2011 and to make the story short i found out by February 2012 that i was pregnant..but that time we already separated/broke up because of his attitude. I told him late by May that im pregnant and he was the Father,but he didnt believe me. When the time pass by..he always message me how is my pregnant i told him if he can help me financially, but instead of to comfort me, he told me some bad things about me by personal message me thru facebook .he always told me to assure that kid is his own kid..i already told him everything..until one day i told him i will not let my son meet his father ever. And then my friend told me if i can go back to US (my fiancé is applying for K1 visa for me) i can file a case against his father for abandon my son.would that be the right thing to do?need help ...

Filipino father's who deny their kids... hmm... the list is long enough to circle the planet.

Move on, you are better things to do with your live... (list to hardrockangel)

[Al422 221]

Another thought: If the father abandons his kid for a certain number of years (I think 5 but not sure), your new husband can adopt the kid and become the kid's legal father.

[Hank_ 9,174]

Being the child was born in the Philippines... the mother has SOLE custody from day one, don't need to wait 5 years for anything.

[amerikano1 3]

Hardrockangel had great advice.

Edited June 16, 2014 by amerikano1

[VOL 425]

I can't tell you the number of girls I have chatted with and they told me the "Father" Ran Away.

Filipino father's who deny their kids... hmm... the list is long enough to circle the planet.

NO Doubt

Funny how you see so many kids from broken homes in the Philippines, especially the province

To me once the "Father" became a USC then he becomes a target for Child Support.

US family court is so biased toward the female

[Sweet28 0]

My fiancé already know about this plan..first thing in my mind that what if i will sue his father he might gonna get my son!i will not let that happen..over my dead body.. hardrockangel is right, its already in my thoughts..i will raise my son on my own rather than sue his father..THANK YOU EVERYONE..Really appreciated..???

[hardrockangel 21]

My fiancé already know about this plan..first thing in my mind that what if i will sue his father he might gonna get my son!i will not let that happen..over my dead body.. hardrockangel is right, its already in my thoughts..i will raise my son on my own rather than sue his father..THANK YOU EVERYONE..Really appreciated..???

Thanks for listening, the feeling is really great when you know that inspite of all the difficulties in our life as a single mom, we can still be able to raise our kids alone, it's not ypur burden,we are not alone God for sure will send someone to be our strength, and to love our kids like their own..goodluck to you and God Bless?

[hardrockangel 21]

Hardrockangel had great advice.

Thank you, I'm a single mom,I know how hard but it's worth to stand on my own, as long as my child is with me?

Filipino father's who deny their kids... hmm... the list is long enough to circle the planet.

Move on, you are better things to do with your live... (list to hardrockangel)

Thank you Hank?

[aaron2020 11,651]

The father is US citizen? Do you know his address? Getting support from him once you are in the US is very simple. You go to the local court to you that handles child support filings and tel the clerk you want to file a USDL petition (stands for Uniform Support of Dependents Law). Whatever agency is responsible to prosecute child support matters in his home state (all states have one) will sue him for support for you in the state where he lives, send all monies collected to the support enforcement agency in your state, and they send it on to you.

It's not that simple when paternity has not been established.

[aaron2020 11,651]

Another thought: If the father abandons his kid for a certain number of years (I think 5 but not sure), your new husband can adopt the kid and become the kid's legal father.

Not true.

There is no magic trigger at 5 years.

A step-parent adoption can happen at any time.

Since OP knows who the father is, she would have a legal duty to inform the father even when paternity has not been eatablished about an adoption.

The court takes great care before terminating a person's parental rights in an adoption.

[Al422 221]

It is getting complicated here. I never meant to suggest adoption is easy. But once abandonment has been established, the new husband can adopt the kid over the biological father's objection. Otherwise you would need his consent. That is the point that I meant.

The father has a right to put up a defense to the adoption, but if he already has an allergy to paying child support, do you really think he will do that and then have to pay for 21 years?

Hank are you sure the 5 years does not matter? I know Philippine law says an unwed father has zero rights in the child, but we are talking about a USC father maybe asserting rights over a USC child who happened to be born abroad. I am not certain either way, but the OP had better be safe than sorry here.

[hardrockangel 21]

It is getting complicated here. I never meant to suggest adoption is easy. But once abandonment has been established, the new husband can adopt the kid over the biological father's objection. Otherwise you would need his consent. That is the point that I meant.

The father has a right to put up a defense to the adoption, but if he already has an allergy to paying child support, do you really think he will do that and then have to pay for 21 years?

Hank are you sure the 5 years does not matter? I know Philippine law says an unwed father has zero rights in the child, but we are talking about a USC father maybe asserting rights over a USC child who happened to be born abroad. I am not certain either way, but the OP had better be safe than sorry here.

When she found out that she's pregnant they are not together already, they are already separated as gf/bf..that's why the man deny the son..now its really getting complicated if she will insist to get support from him while from the very beginning he didn't accept her pregnancy..it's better for her to move on, the fiance accepted her son? So nothing to worry if only financial support is the only issue here.She's not alone in that situation. .better to advice her to move on than to create more issue and ptoblem in the future..and also to be fair to her fiance..get over with that man

[aaron2020 11,651]

It is getting complicated here. I never meant to suggest adoption is easy. But once abandonment has been established, the new husband can adopt the kid over the biological father's objection. Otherwise you would need his consent. That is the point that I meant.

The father has a right to put up a defense to the adoption, but if he already has an allergy to paying child support, do you really think he will do that and then have to pay for 21 years?

Hank are you sure the 5 years does not matter? I know Philippine law says an unwed father has zero rights in the child, but we are talking about a USC father maybe asserting rights over a USC child who happened to be born abroad. I am not certain either way, but the OP had better be safe than sorry here.

That's not the US legal system works.

There is no cause of action for abandonment.

You don't go to court to establish abandonment. You go to court to establish paternity, custody, and child support.

In the US, not paying child support voluntarily and not seeing a child does not create the crime of abandonment.

There is no such thing as adopting by abandonment as you stated.

Not paying child support is not a reason to terminate a parent's rights.

[Sweet28 0]

What if i'll file petition for support,can i request the court that he cannot see or get near to my son?is it possible?

[aaron2020 11,651]

What if i'll file petition for support,can i request the court that he cannot see or get near to my son?is it possible?

Sure if you can prove that the father is a danger to his child.

You can't have your cake and eat it too.

You want him to step up to the plate and be a parent, then you get the pros and cons.

Unless you can prove he is a danger to his child, no court is going to say he can't see his child.