Name change and wedding rings.

[buffertortoise 0]

Hey everyone,

Just a quick question, me and my fiance are just embarking on the K1 visa process but have a concern about the name change and wedding rings once I move to the US. Both myself and my fiance are not particularly traditional and after discussion we decided that when we marry she wants to keep her name and as opposed to traditional rings we will wear rings on necklaces to show our commitment to eachother.

My only concern is, will this be hard to explain, or will it appear suspicious? If so I'm sure we can come to some compromise, but in both our eyes traditional rings or a name change do not make us any more committed to one another.

Any responses or advice would be helpful!

Thanks!

[no name 1]

Hey everyone,

Just a quick question, me and my fiance are just embarking on the K1 visa process but have a concern about the name change and wedding rings once I move to the US. Both myself and my fiance are not particularly traditional and after discussion we decided that when we marry she wants to keep her name and as opposed to traditional rings we will wear rings on necklaces to show our commitment to eachother.

My only concern is, will this be hard to explain, or will it appear suspicious? If so I'm sure we can come to some compromise, but in both our eyes traditional rings or a name change do not make us any more committed to one another.

Any responses or advice would be helpful!

Thanks!

Not a problem. Many women don't change their name or wear rings.

[zyggy 9]

Just be prepared to explain the ring bit if asked... it is definitely uncommon for a married couple to not wear rings of some sort or have some physical characteristic that one is married...

Not changing from a married name is not all that uncommon...

Edited January 16, 2007 by zyggy

[Gump456789 0]

Where is your fiance from? The UK? If so, then in the UK the woman normally takes the man's surname after marriage.

In asian cultures i know they keep their maiden last name. My fiance wanted to keep her last name and i said HELLZ NO... but that's just me you know.

I may be a bit cynical, but to me it seems like she doens't want people to know you guys are married. This is just my opinion.

[bora bora 1]

That is untrue.

Many women keep their last names due to their culture, because they like their name, they have higher education degrees, want the same last name as their children, etc.

As far as rings, it is not necessary to have them at this stage. My fiance and I wear nontraditional (engagement) rings and I will only have a wedding ring when I see him at the interview and he gives it to me.

[Catica 1]

I agree with Bora, I been trying to decide myself what I want to do with my last name, not because I dont want people to know we are married just mainly cause I dont like his last name and I do like mine, doesnt mean I love him any less or dont talk obcessively about him to friends, family, and just about anyone I meet

[no name 1]

I'm wearing rings but my hubby is not. None of the men in his family do. I have plenty of non-traditional friends who don't wear rings. It means nothing less, it's a personal choice.

And I'm keeping my last name!

[J&D_anon 0]

Ok here is it where i want to throw a question in! Is it necessary to have an engagement ring??

My fiance wants to get me a fancy one (even though i disagree, but it is his will) and i already picked a cheap one, but it is still $900. So i told him to wait with the ring, since he just came to germany to visit me. So since he wants to put that ring on my finger and not send it via mail, i will get it, when i am there.

Will i need it at the interview? Or is emails, pictures, chat logs etc etc enough to proof our ongoing relationship??

Diana

[anya-D 8]

Ok here is it where i want to throw a question in! Is it necessary to have an engagement ring??

My fiance wants to get me a fancy one (even though i disagree, but it is his will) and i already picked a cheap one, but it is still $900. So i told him to wait with the ring, since he just came to germany to visit me. So since he wants to put that ring on my finger and not send it via mail, i will get it, when i am there.

Will i need it at the interview? Or is emails, pictures, chat logs etc etc enough to proof our ongoing relationship??

Diana

I've heard that it's not matter - but if you have a rign reciept with you at the interview that might be a good but it's not a must..

Edited January 16, 2007 by anya-D

[BexandDavid 0]

I don't plan on changing my name and we don't plan on having rings at all. First of all, I can't wear rings. It irritates my skin and it's dangerous in the work I do. And why should I care if other people can see that I'm married. My marriage is between my husband and I. It doesn't involve anyone else and no one else's opinions matter.

[Garfield fan 0]

Another one that keeps her maiden name here. I do this mainly for practicality purposes, I have some diplomas and documents from my country under my maiden name that I will use here in US and it's just too much trouble if I change my name. I like my maiden name and I do like my hubby's last name, but keeping my name as it is makes more sense for now. It doesn't mean that I don't love him as much nor that I don't want people to know that we're married. Hell, people can know that you are married and flirt with you anyway... everything depends on the individuals IMO.

[Kathryn41 3,205]

I kept my maiden name. It has not been a problem. I lived 48 years with this name; all of my education, my training, my accomplishments, my published work, my awards, my identification - everything is in this name. I left behind my country, my job, my family, my friends, everything I had ever known, to move here and marry my husband. To give up my name felt too much like I was giving up my identity as well - something that neither of us wanted. We discussed the name issue and my husband didn't care whether I took his name or not - so I chose to keep my name. It doesn't mean that I don't love him or don't want people to know that we are married; it means that I am still an individual unique in my own right with my own history and life experiences just like he is. We both, however, wear our rings.

[Kez/JWolf 6]

I don't plan on changing my name and we don't plan on having rings at all. First of all, I can't wear rings. It irritates my skin and it's dangerous in the work I do. And why should I care if other people can see that I'm married. My marriage is between my husband and I. It doesn't involve anyone else and no one else's opinions matter.

Maybe you should care.... while you are going through immigration your marriage is between you and your husband/wife and USCIS... and yes their opinion of your marriage does matter....

Kez

[Ephesia 0]

I didn't take on my husband's name after we got married. And USCIS didn't give a damn.

[Heartland 0]

Wedding rings traditionally were a symbol that, that person was married or taken. She might not want to wear a ring, but it says to other men, "Hey I'm Available" if she goes ringless. I wanted my DH to wear a ring tho he never wore one before. He didn't want to but I said it is an outward symbol that you are married and we are a couple... He understood and now would not be caught without it as it reminds him of me all the time.

As for name change. it is just easier when kids arrive if everyone has the same last name. I hyphenated at first then gave up because it was easier all the way around to have the same name. Now I have another last name, I get, and who are you to this child????

Wendy