Domestic Violence

[Caryh 5,206]

Thanks for the response.

After the protective order was squashed,i went back home with the cops and as i said earlier, all my documents were all gone, including my international passport. All efforts to retrieve them proved impossible. Apart from pictures, chat messages, i have nothing else to show. I even had to reapply to the registry for our marriage license, which she also with held. She also closed our joint account, but i am thinking that i could go back to the branch to demand they give me a final statement , since was a signatory. Its a tough situation and i don't know what to do.

Yes you should be able to go to the bank and get statements of the closed account. You don't need to demand these, its your right to get access to them. Also see to getting the police report of the visit, where entry was at first denied, and where you found the records had been destroyed. You do not have to sign a separation agreement just because she wants one. Unless the terms also meet your needs, you'd be advised not to sign anything. If you don't understand the agreement, then you should have your own lawyer looking it over for you also. You would be better placed if you file for the divorce yourself, stating your side of what you want out of the divorce. Also demand the return of the immigration documents, passport and other items she has withheld or disposed of. This can all be used as partial evidence of why they may be missing and possible award of damages for the costs you'll incure to obtain them again. You really need to get a lawyer on your side.

[Felix 1 0]

I currently have an attorney reviewing the agreement she is trying to compel me to sign. I cannot give up custody of my baby girl. She can have everything, but not full custody of my baby.

[dwheels76 5,469]

I currently have an attorney reviewing the agreement she is trying to compel me to sign. I cannot give up custody of my baby girl. She can have everything, but not full custody of my baby.

Have you told the lawyer all you are missing as far as your personal documents and passport ? When you go to court the judge can make her or risk contempt of court if she doesn't return to you immediately. Having someones passport of any kind is a criminal act. Please list all that is yours and have your lawyer serve her papers. This is going on too long.

Don't worry about the cereal I have a 8 month old and she has had cereal like the other 4 before her since 2 weeks. With the venomous poison that spews out of wifey your baby needs some good nutrition.

Get the divorce, fight like hell for joint custody and soonest you get that divorce papers file for your Removal of Conditions. Be as nice as pie around wifey (I say wifey because she doesn't sound like she ever was a real covenant wife...commentary over). Start gathering your evidence now to prove a good faith entered in marriage should be no problem. Be sure to have your court papers (especially that dropped motion will help prove you aren't a loon).

Wishing you all the best and please be careful watch your back never be alone with her ever even with baby. And watch mum for real. Take care all the best.

[Felix 1 0]

UPDATE:

We were in court this week for the second time , the fake domestic violence case was once again dismissed. Thank God. At this point do i need to inform the USCIS of my current add and status. Divorce has not been filed yet, but we live separately.

[TariesL 0]

I'm so sorry for your situation.

I understand the personally, the difficulties in getting belongings back. I had a similar thing happen to me. When I was kicked out of our apartment, I was left with nothing - A few days later after a day long of negotiating with the police, and waiting for 3 hours outside of my apartment, two officers arrived. They went to the apartment door, and her Mother answered. She said that none of my belongings were there as I had taken them all (Which was a lie). Her mother then told the officers that my wife wasn't there, and so without her there and her permission to enter - I wouldn't be able to go in and look for my belongings. I told them that I was on the lease and went to the building manager - who then told the officers I was no longer on the lease, as I was only added as a named resident, not one who was credit checked (this was true), so she had removed me from the lease, denying me complete access to my belongings. I never got anything back, and was left with just the clothes on my back, my wallet which was useless as all our joint accounts were emptied and closed and my phone which was useless as it was on her family plan, and she had cancelled.

I'm sorry you were left without your belongings, its a terrible thing to happen.

From my experience, with regards to getting some of your documents back -

Bank Statements - The following day, I went to what was the least nice part of town I could find and went to the bank there. I was working on the assumption and unfortunate generalisation that the employees here would care less (Im definitely not trying to say this is the case - I was just working under assumption). I went in, and gave them the card for the now closed account, and just said that my wife has decided to close the account, but could I get a copy of our last statement for our records - to which they gave me. Although she had shut the account down, she hadn't taken my name off the account. I'm assuming you would be able to get this at any bank.

Utility Bills - I wasn't able to get any documentation for our Phones, as I was on her family plan, not an account holder, even though my name was on the bills I was able to go to an AT&T store though, and after a bit of talking, and trying to worm around the situation, they were able to give me a copy of a bill. I wash;t an account holder, but my name was on the bill - I ended up telling them that my wife was sick in hospital, and so could;t accept phone calls, and that we needed it for proof of address for insurance purposes. Not ideal to have to lie, but I needed the documentation, so I had no real choice.

Passport - Contact your embassy. They will be able to give you guidance on how to replace your passport.

I hope this helps in some way.

[Felix 1 0]

Wow, TariesL, we seem to be in the same situation, ,though i got my clothes back, its been a bit hard and costly getting all my docs back. I am happy the domestic violence was once again dismissed, i know i need to be on my guard. Its been exhausting, Thanks for the suggestions.

[TariesL 0]

It's definitely exhausting, but hopefully the hardest parts are behind you.

I'm still trying to get some of our joint documents for my VAWA application. There are definitely bits I severely regret not getting copies of.

I'm glad the DV was dismissed too. I haven't had my Ex try anything like that yet, but I wouldn't be surprised if something like that didn't come up soon!

[bronco37 16]

Document everything.

Maintain a timeline of events.

Avoid Social Media.

Avoid feeling the rush to get even.

Do not watch Kill Bill.

File for Divorce ASAP.

Keep a journal to note every small thing that comes to your mind.

Do NOT give up custody of your child.

Stay away from that woman and the mother of that woman.

Do NOT contact them.

Ask them to contact you only in writing. This includes their lawyer too.

Ask for full custody of the child.

If truly hits the fan, and you don't feel like it's all worth it, just move back to where you came from and start over. Starting over may scare some people. But, please realize you are starting over from something every single day.

[Felix 1 0]

Tariest and Bronco, many thanks. If I may ask, Tariest, on what grounds are you filing for VAWA?

[MUXAGIRL 69]

@Felix 1

I hope you got your documents back. I read few initial posts on this thread, did not go through all. What I gather is you want to collect evidence that you entered this marriage in good faith. Here is a way.

When the initial IR1/CR1 petition was filed by your wife, she must have submitted enough evidence to USCIS for them to approve it in the first place. Why don't you try to get hold of those documents?

USCIS makes copies of everything submitted in relation to a petition including supporting evidence, I-130, everything. You can use the Freedom of Information Act to obtain these docs again. You need to read up on USCIS site how to do it.

I had requested them copies of my docs after misplacing our personal copies, and it took them about 1 month to send it to us on a CD as PDF files.

You can try the FOIA.

Did you get your passport back? Anyway, no one can take your passport away from you, except the issuing authority. If your wife is still holding onto it, it's illegal. Considering her accusations of domestic violence have been dismissed couple of times in the court already, I don't think USCIS is going to hold it against you when it comes to ROC.