Domesticated Wives

[Messybrownhair 251]

I read it a lot in here, that the women always love to clean, or cook etc.. I feel like the worst wife ever because I despise all those things lol. I do it, but its a great chore to me. Please tell me I'm not the only one! I have always known I would be more of a career woman, but I do love being a mother as well and I feel like I get the best of both worlds because I have summers and holidays off. But I'm not a neat freak, my cooking skills are average and I am no Martha Stewart lol. I hate Pinterest for that reason. It's a good thing my husband and I are a team when it comes to household chores, he helps out a lot

Sorry if I didn't post at the right forum.

[Messybrownhair 251]

Wanted to add, even when I first came here and I was bored waiting for my EAD/GC.. I never got into it.

[novedsac 355]

Kinda like lawn work for the guys - I love the gardening and taking care of the trees, but I hate cutting the lawn and treating for weeds/pests - I use a lawn service for that. One of the neighbor wives actually enjoys cutting her grass and she's the envy of the neighborhood.

I must say that keeping a tidy home was a strong point for my ex ... and I appreciate a well-kept home ... it's hard to keep after the kids by myself, but it gets done albeit not very joyfully; they've learned to help a lot. I do have someone come in monthly for the deep cleaning, windows, etc.

Cooking is very fun for me ... we cook as a family and the kitchen is the one place we all come together and chat and catch up ... very important as they get older and start going their own directions.

[elmcitymaven 9,712]

I'm a clean person, but I'm hopelessly messy and not terribly well organised (except at work). I don't fight my nature -- I've always been this way. Sometimes I am possessed by the spirit of tidiness and will do a big freak out reorganisation job (recently cleaned out my closet and the boxes under my bed of out of date clothing and donated it all to charity), but mostly, meh. I've been lucky enough to live with people who get this about me and make allowances if they're bothered by tidiness (i.e., they do it themselves). It's not a failing if you don't enjoy it or take pride in it. It doesn't reflect on you at all. You have other interests and that is FINE.

[landr 126]

My fiance is more domesticated than me. He's a veteran with OCD tendencies. He also has experience cooking for a family or friends. I'm a little OCD but I'm not very domesticated. I grew up in a household where my mum did everything and I never learned household management skills until I went to uni and then had my own place. I'm still not very good at it, but I'm getting better. I've also discovered that I enjoy "binge cleaning" as a form of meditation, but I'm not very good at maintenance cleaning. My cooking skills are also very limited as I mostly cook for myself or for one other person rather than a family or friends - though I do enjoy learning to cook with different ingredients. And my fiance and I have discovered that we love making meals together!

Pinterest is also great for ideas in terms of style and fashion. Yes, there's a lot of "Suzy Homemaker" stuff on there, but I think you can make it what you want because really, it's just a neat way of collecting very visual media to give you ideas for your life - a personal online moodboard, if you will.

[Kathryn41 3,205]

I like that phrase 'binge cleaning' instead of 'maintenance' cleaning. I prefer 'binge' cleaning to 'maintenance' cleaning -although I don't like either very much - and that is my downfall. I do not and never have enjoyed housework - and my housework list is organized by which ones I dislike least going to the ones I dislike the most:-). I do like to have things organized and everything starts off that way - and when it was just me things were organized, although sometimes the organization was in 'piles' of like things until I had time to sit down and dedicate myself to getting everything where it needs to go.

My husband likes things neat and tidy - but he is worse than I am about keeping things that way himself. I think I spend a lot of my 'maintenance' cleaning just picking up after him - at least I keep telling myself that is why I don't seem able to get on top of the rest of it as often as I should.

I think I am one of those people who would do really well with a house cleaner :-) - or someone to at least help me out. I used to have a regular schedule but so far the only part of that I am still able to keep (for a variety of different reasons) is laundry on Mondays - usually!

So, you are definitely not the only one who has a problem with housework!

[Rebecca Jo 1,962]

I really hate housework. A lot.

But I also hate an untidy house.

So most weekends I'm vacuuming and tidying and b*tching in my head about it the entire time.

[TBoneTX 45,266]

I read it a lot in here, that the women always love to clean, or cook etc.. I feel like the worst wife ever because I despise all those things lol. I do it, but its a great chore to me. Please tell me I'm not the only one!

Mrs. T-B.'s rather constant refrain is, "The maid has left. Get/cook/do it yourself." Rarely any guilt. Full-time mommy to Mini-Bone, and an excellent one. Periodically performs furious (and rather efficient) binge-cleaning. Curiously, much of this is accomplished with use of a "high-tech Ecuadorian broom" -- a rag on a stick. Pretty good cook; has poisoned me only once. Absolutely hates to make my rather simple lunches that I take to work.

She's quite handy, however -- can and has put up shelving, has replaced and reinforced fallen closet-rods, performs all kinds of repairs, etc. In the old house, and without my prior knowledge, she even pulled a toilet and replaced the wax ring beneath -- the only help that she needed from me was lifting the toilet to align it back on the bolts. At some point during the process of all this, she got bleach on our best bathmat and ruined it. When this was noted, she blinked her big, innocent, puppy-dog eyes and said, "It was an accident."

The point is that everyone has preferences and dislikes, and strengths and weaknesses.

Edited June 7, 2014 by TBoneTX

[TBoneTX 45,266]

Addendum to above: I have intentionally NOT said anything about the status of the kitchen or about dealing with dirty dishes. Some things are best left unsaid...

[NikLR 13,227]

I take care of 90% if not more of the household cleaning. I would have to actively ask my husband to do it, which I do on occasion, but it's one of those things that it's just easier to do it yourself.

That doesn't mean I like cleaning, because I don't. But I like a tidier, cleaner house than my husband does. He just doesn't see mess when I do.

I'm sure when we buy a home, any renovations will be because I say hey, lets do this and he'll do the destruction and I'll do the reconstruction. He hates putting things together. (But seems to love taking them apart... LOL)

I tend to do most of my cleaning actually when I'm angry about something. It keeps my hands busy.

[Leatherneck 693]

Addendum to above: I have intentionally NOT said anything about the status of the kitchen or about dealing with dirty dishes. Some things are best left unsaid...

A wise man, indeed.

[Khev 5]

I think it just depends on your background. To the OP you seem like someone who has a higher education, so naturally, you have your own career goals. Don't feel bad at all. If your hubby is happy, then be happy. I am sure he knew how you were before you got married.

I truly think my fiance LOVES to clean, she does it everyday in her own home and she constantly tells me "Papi, I can't wait to come cook for you everyday and clean our new home." She always tells me when you come home from work, you just relax I will take care of everything. She has even asked me to teach her to iron my shirts slacks so she can Iron them all on Sundays so I don't have to do it in the morning before work (what can I say I am lazy) She even mentioned once she gets certified as a beautician here in Cali, that she will still cook and clean.

I already know there is going to be some angst on my part since I have been cooking and cleaning since I was 18, but I already know she is going to rearrange the kitchen to how she likes it, heck, that's going to be the whole house! The only room that will be mine is my office. LOL

[Messybrownhair 251]

I think it just depends on your background. To the OP you seem like someone who has a higher education, so naturally, you have your own career goals. Don't feel bad at all. If your hubby is happy, then be happy. I am sure he knew how you were before you got married.

I truly think my fiance LOVES to clean, she does it everyday in her own home and she constantly tells me "Papi, I can't wait to come cook for you everyday and clean our new home." She always tells me when you come home from work, you just relax I will take care of everything. She has even asked me to teach her to iron my shirts slacks so she can Iron them all on Sundays so I don't have to do it in the morning before work (what can I say I am lazy) She even mentioned once she gets certified as a beautician here in Cali, that she will still cook and clean.

I already know there is going to be some angst on my part since I have been cooking and cleaning since I was 18, but I already know she is going to rearrange the kitchen to how she likes it, heck, that's going to be the whole house! The only room that will be mine is my office. LOL

.

Aww she sounds sweet!!

[Marilyn. 340]

I hate to clean. i think it comes from living with a mother who was a neat freak. Although has she has gotten older it has calmed down some. But growing up everything had to be in its place and the house had to be vacuumed every other day etc... i was the one in charge of dishes from a very young age. I think like 8. i always begged my parents to buy a dishwasher and my dad always joked that I was the dishwasher . About a month after I moved out when I was 21, my dad went and bought my mom a dishwasher because he hated seeing her in the kitchen for so long after dinner. i guess it was ok for me to be stuck in there

I try my best to keep the place somewhat presentable but I also have an 8 month old now to take care of so somethings get left behind ..

[TBoneTX 45,266]

Addendum to above: I have intentionally NOT said anything about the status of the kitchen or about dealing with dirty dishes. Some things are best left unsaid...

I meant: I have intentionally not said anything here on VJ about the status...

I will also not say anything here on VJ about any knock-down drag-outs that might or might not have occurred in regard to the status of the kitchen and dealing with dirty dishes.

Edited June 9, 2014 by TBoneTX