Serious problems with wife. Possible divorce. Please help.

[J66 0]

Just because you are married 3 years doesn't mean you can apply for a citizenship. You also need to be a legal permanent resident for that period. You never filed adjustment of status so you don't have a GC.. and now that things are going sour, adjustment of status will do you no good.. Like others said, you have two choices as stated above. PS. your tourist visa ended when you overstayed past 6 months, a 10-year tourist visa doesn't mean you can stay ten years in the country

Thanks for your response.

I may not be able to apply for citizenship after 3 years marriage, but as as far as I know, I can start some kind of process to be here in order, as law requires.

Thanks for reminding me that a 10 year tourist visa does not mean I was able to stay 20 years in the US.

[J66 0]

This sounds like the typical abusive situation that we see on Visa Journey all too much. The American spouse is not only abusive, but also somehow always has an excuse for never filing the proper papers, so the foreign spouse can't get a green card and therefore can't have much independence or a real life.

Unfortunately, you chose to overstay and then married an abusive woman who is also a raging alcoholic. I am inclined to agree with others who say that your options are to remain illegal or leave the country. Whatever you do, don't go back to her. Best of luck.

Yes, you are completely right from the beginning.

One thing I've noticed, after reading other threads were a women is going through what I went through, the responses to the topic are completely different.

Does the law works less or in a different way when a husband gets mistreated, abused or gets hit by the wife?

Maybe it's something that I do not know about.

The only 2 possible solutions I've received is "stay ilegal" or "leave"...?

I haven't seen any of these 2 choices in other topics where a woman has to go through this.

Please, no disrespect to anyone. I would just like to know if the choices a man has are difference from the choices a woman has...?

[J66 0]

Dude if U ever get back with her, tell her to live together she has to do AA first

Get her in therapy she has past issues re: men =her dad

She had the money she kept U & thought she could mold, own & abuse U

My Mama always tell us boys never move into a woman's place..big mistake

IF U love her get her help, if U R leaving expect her wrath especially when she drinks & thinks

U too should do the AA with her U mention drinking yourself

Your choice really is to make up get her professional help then AOS

Go home

Live here illegally and divorce her which she may have U picked up

HELL HATH NO FURY LIKE A WOMAN SCORNED she will think how dare U divorce her.

Good luck bro

*PS did U report the face beating for VAWA rock solid proof will be needed especially abuse from

female to male....verbal abuse maybe taped abuse would help

Yeah, it's my first marriage, so... I didn't know much about moving in with a girl. I've always lived by myself, so yeah... First time living with a girl and marrying this girl.

I just can't believe that just because she has me under her "dominion" she thinks she can do whatever she wants...?

I mean, there has to be something I can do about it..

Why do I have to keep on putting up with her... Craziness???

A friend of mine told me I should've contact the police that same day she hit me in the face.

After she hit me, in a matter of minutes she was gone, out of the house. She asked around 10 pm that same day if she was able to go back to the house....

[J66 0]

Really just a sad story OP. Are you saying she wants counseling or already has been going? Because she definitely needs help. Whether or not you're a part of her life is completely up to you.

yeah, it's sad.

I skipped the day she brought 2 "dudes" to the house, drunk as hell, and then smoking weed in the living room... All those stupid games of pushing, pulling themselves... She sitting on the guys lap... I mean. I ask myself "really?"

[J66 0]

Really just a sad story OP. Are you saying she wants counseling or already has been going? Because she definitely needs help. Whether or not you're a part of her life is completely up to you.

and in response to your question,

She wants counseling now.

She wants to make changes now (meaning: wants to make changes "again")

She says everything can and will be different from now... Weird thing is she tells me that over the phone while drunk and angry...

I told get I'd go with her to AA meetings. She says she's not an alcoholic, that she can stop any day she wants.

I told her I'd go with her to a professional that can deal/ help her out with this thing of her dad, which obviously it has a lot to do with her drinking and more... She always agreed to it, but never really care for it. Everytime we were gonna go to someone there was always something to do...

[OnMyWayID 1,489]

All the really matters for the sake of this discussion are your options now:

#1 Leave her and stay in the country illegally - if you eventually marry someone else option #3 should be available in the future.

#2 Return to your country

#3 Apply for AOS and become a permanent resident. You will need her cooperation and be married for this.. Only you know her stability and willingness to proceed down this course.. Once you are a permanent resident you no longer have any restrictions (she cant undo it in the event you get divorced).

Good luck.

[Abby&Mario 100]

Get her in therapy she has past issues re: men =her dad

...

My Mama always tell us boys never move into a woman's place..big mistake

...

HELL HATH NO FURY LIKE A WOMAN SCORNED she will think how dare U divorce her.

...

None of us has any idea what her issues are. Please don't be sexist.

Yes, you are completely right from the beginning.

One thing I've noticed, after reading other threads were a women is going through what I went through, the responses to the topic are completely different.

Does the law works less or in a different way when a husband gets mistreated, abused or gets hit by the wife?

Maybe it's something that I do not know about.

The only 2 possible solutions I've received is "stay ilegal" or "leave"...?

I haven't seen any of these 2 choices in other topics where a woman has to go through this.

Please, no disrespect to anyone. I would just like to know if the choices a man has are difference from the choices a woman has...?

Yes, unfortunately we live in a world where claims of abuse by men are taken even less seriously than claims of abuse by women. Also, people attempting to file adjustment of status in the U.S. after overstaying aren't typically well-liked on the forum by those who do things the "legal" way (K1 and spouse visas take much longer and for most require a period of separation). So my best guess is that either people simply don't believe you, or they don't want to help you because they don't approve of adjustment of status after overstaying a tourist visa.

I will repeat that I don't know if pursuing anything with VAWA (Violence Against Women Act, not just for women though) is an option for you, since you didn't actually start any immigration process with your wife. I simply do not know if that is a factor that will prevent you from having options to legally stay in the U.S. or not. Hopefully someone else more knowledgeable will be able to help you. I would also suggest searching the forum. That's all I've got.

Edited June 4, 2014 by Abby&Mario

[Sandra G. 5,048]

Abby MARIO when I answered the topic I did not read anything about "physical abuse", I read twice again and I could not find where he mentioned, before I answered, that she hit him in the face.Please copy and paste here for me, because or i am getting blind or crazy,LOL. He has to prove the abuse happened after he got MARRIAGE, NOT WHEN DATING!. I filed over 6.000 vawa cases and 40% were filed by men,(all approved) then I truly believe men can be abused as well.

J66 join the Vawa thread part 5,without knowing everything about your case I can't tell if you have a Vawa case or not.To prove physical abuse without police report or witnesses will be almost impossible, but to prove mental abuse you don't need a police report,just a psychological evaluation,but as I said here before without knowing your case 100% I can't tell if you had a bad marriage with disagreements and differences or a Vawa case.My previous opinion was based in what you posted.Joint the Vawa thread.

Edited June 4, 2014 by sandranj

[Jawaree 717]

Sanfranj OP did mention being hit and of course it is abuse

be it male or female, the fact does remain that women being

weaker psysically & most times they are abused gets ppl riled

up...as OP mentioned he is getting somewhat different responses

from a female who claim abuse on the forum.

The fact does remain the woman will not be a happy camper with

him walking away and will likely be very angry based on her demeanor

OP has posted.....I hope he does get help if he decides to stay, but I

do not subscribe to ppl thinking others opinion here does not count but

their own, neither am I the type to start being in war of the words match

online , it is what it is ...OP best wishes

[Sandra G. 5,048]

jaware I apologize here,I did not read he was physically abused,anyway I exchanged pm with him already,and I offered my help without any charge .I read the post when working ,and for sure I wasn't 100 % focusing in what I was reading ,and I apologize for that, and as said before 40% of the Vawa cases that I filed were male filers .I didn't give a different answer because he was a man,I gave based in what I read,and for sure I did not read the part he was abused me.

Edited June 5, 2014 by sandranj

[Jawaree 717]

Oh SandraJ I was not referring to your post ...LOL U R always

professional in your post...sorry about misunderstanding