Star Rant, The Empire Strikes Wack

[N-o-l-a 7,168]

FTR, I want my new bathroom to look like this:

Yes?

[SAT 9,609]

Ah I know just the people to call......

The Ray Charles bathroom decorators inc

[N-o-l-a 7,168]

Or maybe this one:

I swear I saw something probably tackier in someone's house growing up.

[SAT 9,609]

This is my bathroom.....because I'm Scarface now.....

[JTB11 1,079]

raked the garden, prepared list for next week's dinners, talked to the neighbors. MIL just woke up, hubs is playing, FIL watching Formula 1.

[SAT 9,609]

Woke up, ate bagel, drank coffee, busted Trophies balls.....

[N-o-l-a 7,168]

I knew all that money couldn't be legit.

[N-o-l-a 7,168]

Woke up, got dressed, surfed pinterest, got little one dressed, went to Starbucks, now packing stuff. Yeah.

[kitthekat 1,317]

got a hankering to watch scarface now...

gah j's family is having a reunion with 40+ people and some coming in from out of state. it's an hour's drive away each way and i dunno, i want to meet his family but that's a lot of people! and i just bet we're gonna be there for hours and hours. even his mom isn't going! (she got away by saying she's had to host the family members who came in from out of town and needs to rest) hmm i need an excuse too...

[SAT 9,609]

got a hankering to watch scarface now...

gah j's family is having a reunion with 40+ people and some coming in from out of state. it's an hour's drive away each way and i dunno, i want to meet his family but that's a lot of people! and i just bet we're gonna be there for hours and hours. even his mom isn't going! (she got away by saying she's had to host the family members who came in from out of town and needs to rest) hmm i need an excuse too...

Tell them you no hablo ingles......

Tell them you don't like to be referred to as "the foreign girl" (like the other Js family)

Tell them the dog ate the homework

Tell them you're Muslim and they're infidels

Tell them you can't find your burqa

Tell them you're afraid of people

Tell them that's it's a miraculous coincidence that you have to be in Singapore for the day, because your family decided to have a reunion on the exact same day.....and that's proof that you and hubs are kindred spirits.

Tell them you're a part of the search team for flight 370, and that you'll be on a naval vessel in the South Indian Ocean

Tell them you have a job interview (at the UN)

Tell them you have to finish your thesis for you PhD

[N-o-l-a 7,168]

GI problems, works as an excuse every time

[SAT 9,609]

Oh yeah tell them you have the runs

[kitthekat 1,317]

lmao at all your suggestions

j's not letting me stay home

i really want to try this the next time i hear some kid being a brat in the store: http://m.tickld.com/x/the-best-revenge-story-ever-this-man-is-a-god

[SAT 9,609]

J wants to show off his foreign girl

[JTB11 1,079]

just go because you get to meet all his extended family it will be nice and as Steve said....he wants to show you off so let him