Greeting each other (split topic)

[Jacque67 7,328]

He seems more like the rufie type

Hmm . Whole thread appears pervy to me. May be my state of mind?

[GandD 5,966]

Hmm . Whole thread appears pervy to me. May be my state of mind?

Yeah

[Jacque67 7,328]

Yeah

Could be, but it seems like this thread is looking forward to self confessions.

I live in Japan so when I go to the West I feel eye contact is embarrassing . How goes that?

[Hotter Otter 1,211]

Could be, but it seems like this thread is looking forward to self confessions.

I live in Japan so when I go to the West I feel eye contact is embarrassing . How goes that?

Eye contact during what?!

[GandD 5,966]

Could be, but it seems like this thread is looking forward to self confessions.

I live in Japan so when I go to the West I feel eye contact is embarrassing . How goes that?

When walking towards another human being, I appreciate a brief moment of eye contact and perhaps a head nod as an acknowledgement of mutual existence. Unless I'm in a city with lots of people, then no eye contact is preferred.

[Girl from Celebes 588]

I think he was just hitting on you

Lol. No way, his wife was there. .

[kehills 217]

Re: hugs you don't want, be clear and blunt. Don't leave it up to people to figure it out, because people suck and they won't. (Or, more generously, people are often blind to the specifics of their region, and my husband very much loves noting that there's no such thing as America, we are so heavily regionalized.) If someone goes in for a hug and you don't want to hug them, put your hand up. You're not the one being rude, they are, by not respecting your boundaries. And make it clear: "I don't hug people I'm not related to." "Please don't touch me without my permission." Or, if someone says something as asinine as "this is how Americans do it/you're in America now" or whatever, remind them that you're not an American.

Unfortunately, some people will just keep pushing boundaries until you make it clear you won't tolerate it.

(As for smoking, the rate is dropping dramatically in the US. You find people smoking outside because it's banned in most indoor spaces, but there are holdouts, and as I recall, Florida is a general holdout. Up here, you can't smoke in apartments, in restaurants or other businesses, and you can't smoke within 20 feet of building entrances or outdoor food areas.)

[Girl from Celebes 588]

I love hugs from friends but not really from strangers lol. As a Brit I find small talk in shops from staff like "how are you guys doing today" super awkward. You know that they are just saying it and don't care about the response anyway.

Oh yeah, that is very interesting to me since I came here in Key West. I always have thoughts that Americans are more individual and not too friendly to strangers if I compare to Asians. But, it came as surprise because when we met people on beach, in apartment complex, or some places and whenever just happen you look at them and they will say, "hi". Or when we went shopping at Publix or Navy Exchange Commissary and checkout cashiers will have small talk like," how are doing guys, did you have a nice weekend?, etc. In Jakarta, you won't see people do that.

[Girl from Celebes 588]

Re: hugs you don't want, be clear and blunt. Don't leave it up to people to figure it out, because people suck and they won't. (Or, more generously, people are often blind to the specifics of their region, and my husband very much loves noting that there's no such thing as America, we are so heavily regionalized.) If someone goes in for a hug and you don't want to hug them, put your hand up. You're not the one being rude, they are, by not respecting your boundaries. And make it clear: "I don't hug people I'm not related to." "Please don't touch me without my permission." Or, if someone says something as asinine as "this is how Americans do it/you're in America now" or whatever, remind them that you're not an American.

Unfortunately, some people will just keep pushing boundaries until you make it clear you won't tolerate it.

(As for smoking, the rate is dropping dramatically in the US. You find people smoking outside because it's banned in most indoor spaces, but there are holdouts, and as I recall, Florida is a general holdout. Up here, you can't smoke in apartments, in restaurants or other businesses, and you can't smoke within 20 feet of building entrances or outdoor food areas.)

Yes, that is the hardest part. I won't it ended up into a fight.

[Jacque67 7,328]

Eye contact during what?!

Just saying hello. Eye contact is intrusive.

[Girl from Celebes 588]

So, everyone, what is the best way to avoid this person? My gut action would be just to say "I don't want to be hugged, thank you." But, I think there has got to be a more subtle and elegant solution where the person doesn't even realize they have been rebuffed (and better than feigning a cold, though that would work one time). I feel like southern people would be good at this, the old "bless your heart" routine. Any tips?

I am actually waiting for any tips for that.

[Jacque67 7,328]

Yes, that is the hardest part. I won't it ended up into a fight.

Kip!

[Girl from Celebes 588]

Kip!

Kip?

[Novembro 1,763]

So, everyone, what is the best way to avoid this person? My gut action would be just to say "I don't want to be hugged, thank you." But, I think there has got to be a more subtle and elegant solution where the person doesn't even realize they have been rebuffed (and better than feigning a cold, though that would work one time). I feel like southern people would be good at this, the old "bless your heart" routine. Any tips?

Stand far enough away that they feel awkward coming at you?

[GandD 5,966]

So, everyone, what is the best way to avoid this person? My gut action would be just to say "I don't want to be hugged, thank you." But, I think there has got to be a more subtle and elegant solution where the person doesn't even realize they have been rebuffed (and better than feigning a cold, though that would work one time). I feel like southern people would be good at this, the old "bless your heart" routine. Any tips?

Let out a big fart?