Greeting each other (split topic)

[Girl from Celebes 588]

Sounds kinda pervy.

. I hope not.

[Girl from Celebes 588]

Next time, bring a cub with you. He is just trying to get fresh with you, nothing to do with culture BS.

I never feel the need to hug anyone here in US, except for my MIL and close family/friends.

. I am not really sure, though. Everyone seems hugging each other in the party. I had tried my best to get close to my husband. The guy who hugged me in the party had his wife there and she hugged another people as well. And the other things, my husband and I don't drink alcohol and whenever we went to parties, people would looked at us and said," hah, you guys don't drink?"

My other concern too that people seems smoking everywhere outside. I can't stand smell of cigarette. Don't get me wrong, I love everything in the US but those things make me feel alienated. My husband doesn't hug people unless they are his family. And he never embrace with an open arms whenever we met someone. I guess the reason why he doesn't hugs because he is more introvert, calm, and shy.

We should start a thread to discuss the best tactic.

Pretend you have a cold all the time? Run and get a drink and wave from afar?

You shouldn't be forced to open up to him and tell him your life's secrets and you don't owe him an explanation

"Best Ways to Avoid Human Contact Thread"

You guys are funny!

[N-o-l-a 7,168]

Different sub-cultures in America do different things, I suppose. Where I grew up it was common for women and men and women who were family or family friends to hug and sort of do a side cheek kiss. Where I live now, 2 hours away, this is not at all common and a hand shake or a wave is more appropriate.

Maybe this friend was just a little tipsy?

I used to get out of the hugs when I was a teen with "I'm just not a hugger" or "I just like my personal space." Now, of course, as an adult, I just sort of do it to be polite.

[N-o-l-a 7,168]

And the other things, my husband and I don't drink alcohol and whenever we went to parties, people would looked at us and said," hah, you guys don't drink?"

My other concern too that people seems smoking everywhere outside. I can't stand smell of cigarette. Don't get me wrong, I love everything in the US but those things make me feel alienated. My husband doesn't hug people unless they are his family. And he never embrace with an open arms whenever we met someone. I guess the reason why he doesn't hugs because he is more introvert, calm, and shy.

My husband and I don't drink either, you've just got to own it. Frankly, I don't think people realize how uninteresting and stupid they sound when they've been drinking, so we try to avoid those sort of social situations.

The smoking is also a cultural thing, like where I live in Connecticut only white trash smoke. In other places it is different, but it is heavily stigmatized here and smoking right outside doors and things is bad.

[Girl from Celebes 588]

P.S. One of the differences...if that guy had done that in Russia, her boyfriend or husband would probably have punched him in the face. I am not saying that is cool..but it is reflective of the differences.

Yes, exactly it would happen if he did it in Indonesia. My males co-workers never hugs me though we have been worked together over years.

[Girl from Celebes 588]

My husband and I don't drink either, you've just got to own it. Frankly, I don't think people realize how uninteresting and stupid they sound when they've been drinking, so we try to avoid those sort of social situations.

The smoking is also a cultural thing, like where I live in Connecticut only white trash smoke. In other places it is different, but it is heavily stigmatized here and smoking right outside doors and things is bad.

I have to admit there are many people smoking in my country. My husband - who doesn't smoke either- told me that the number of people who smoking in the US decreasing every year. I was really happy when he told me that while I was still in Indonesia. But, after I came to the US, I was totally in deep shock. People seem smoking everywhere and smell of cigarettes much more stronger than from what people had in Indonesia. People smoking in laundry room, apartment hallway, outside of restaurant, even when we walked at tourist areas in Key West. One time I spoke to my husband," hmmm, I remember you told me the number of people who smoke in the US is decreasing?" .

[Girl from Celebes 588]

Different sub-cultures in America do different things, I suppose. Where I grew up it was common for women and men and women who were family or family friends to hug and sort of do a side cheek kiss. Where I live now, 2 hours away, this is not at all common and a hand shake or a wave is more appropriate.

Maybe this friend was just a little tipsy?

I used to get out of the hugs when I was a teen with "I'm just not a hugger" or "I just like my personal space." Now, of course, as an adult, I just sort of do it to be polite.

My husband doesn't hugs either. But I guess because he is just an introvert, calm, and shy person. I don't think that guy was drinking at that time. My nose is pretty strong to smell something from far distance especially alcohol and cigarette. I wish my nose not that "too noisy" and I will have less problems - I always have headache every time I smell alcohol and cigarette-.

[Girl from Celebes 588]

And awkward small talk. Don't ask me what I'm doing today, give me my frickin' coffee dude.

[Messybrownhair 251]

No way! I don't hug strangers I can shake their hand, but even that grosses me out sometimes (you don't know what they touched) lol I think he was just hitting on you

[Novembro 1,763]

No way! I don't hug strangers I can shake their hand, but even that grosses me out sometimes (you don't know what they touched) lol I think he was just hitting on you

Exactly.

This is why I always order seating when I go to concerts. Don't want to be covered in some rando's sweat. NO THANKS.

[Hotter Otter 1,211]

I love hugs from friends but not really from strangers lol. As a Brit I find small talk in shops from staff like "how are you guys doing today" super awkward. You know that they are just saying it and don't care about the response anyway.

[Harpa Timsah 13,258]

So, everyone, what is the best way to avoid this person? My gut action would be just to say "I don't want to be hugged, thank you." But, I think there has got to be a more subtle and elegant solution where the person doesn't even realize they have been rebuffed (and better than feigning a cold, though that would work one time). I feel like southern people would be good at this, the old "bless your heart" routine. Any tips?

I love hugs from friends but not really from strangers lol. As a Brit I find small talk in shops from staff like "how are you guys doing today" super awkward. You know that they are just saying it and don't care about the response anyway.

People talk to you in Mass? How are you just warrants a "fine, thanks" or "fine" *smile* (that'll shut them up ) I was in Texas last year for the first time and the counter girl said something very funny to me, something like "How are you feeling about your day today, it is everything you hoped for?" I was like... #######?

[GandD 5,966]

My husband and I don't drink either, you've just got to own it. Frankly, I don't think people realize how uninteresting and stupid they sound when they've been drinking, so we try to avoid those sort of social situations.

The smoking is also a cultural thing, like where I live in Connecticut only white trash smoke. In other places it is different, but it is heavily stigmatized here and smoking right outside doors and things is bad.

Word. That goes for anything you feel self conscious about. If you can't change it, embrace it. If you can and want to, do so! If you don't want to change, don't, be you and don't be ashamed of you.

[Jacque67 7,328]

Kip?

[Harpa Timsah 13,258]

Kip?

He seems more like the rufie type