My wife hates everything here.

[Dieseltu 19]

Except our air and water. Other then that. She regularily complains that she wants a divorce and wants to go back to China. I'm about to oblige her.... She is not adjusting well. And from reading on here. Our life is pretty decent. She really doesn't have to do anything , Anything she wants I get her. Were holding our own, the neighborhoods nice, quiet, works ok. sex, ok. we just got her combo travel, work card. Even have a Chinatown here. I like her cooking. I love her , really. She don't like anything.

All comments are welcome.

[Harpa Timsah 13,258]

From your timeline, she has been here less than a year. It does take time to adjust.

And doing nothing is not a good thing, no one likes that. Most people need to feel as if they make a difference, contribute in some way.

If she is stuck at the house all day, then she probably does nothing but stew and make comparisons. You two should focus on getting her out of the house, doing something, if she doesn't want a job, volunteer or something. Make friends.

What is her daily routine like?

[mtlguy 59]

Does she speak English? if yes, is she fluent?

[augusta23 8]

just wondering who deleted my post? i didnt said anything wrong if they love each other they can live wherever not just here thats all im saying.

[Krikit 1,164]

One abusive post has been removed. Please be civil or you will be removed from the thread.

Dieseltu, the first year I was here was just awful. I'm sure I was just as miserable as your wife but my husband understood that my frustration was due to missing everything and everyone I knew, so he helped me to familiarize myself with my surroundings and even went out of his way to find places where I could pick up items which weren't readily available to me here, but were everywhere in my home country.

I don't think I fully adjusted until the end of my second year, but the first year was the worst. Give her time. Give her hugs. Give her flowers. She doesn't want you to fix it for her; she's just grieving.

[augusta23 8]

abusive post? not everybody adjust to us life dont matter how long they live here thats just how it is.

[Dieseltu 19]

She is not patient. She wants everything fast. And I have to do everything. Contribute I can understand. But she isn't getting work without driving. And she fought me for a month to get a state ID because she wanted to use her own studio pictures. Her mastered skills are cooking. And she takes excellent photographs. Which she posts on a QQ blog. But I'm not doing projects with, or teaching a complainer. And she likes chatting on the computer with hundreds of Chinese women. But she gets really mad if I'm on the pc. Her English is pretty decent. She can have a conversation, And she taught Chinglish in China. She is making comparisons . And her expectations were unreasonable. I noticed it in China but thought she would adjust. For the most part she is not unreasonable. But she had some serious flawed ideas about America.

Her complaints seem to revolve around She don't like my job. Because I work shifts. She don't like my houses. Because they aren't Chinese concrete boxes with open sewers, with no maintenance.

And she is a clean freak. She says my health is bad. So I'm susposed to eat donkey skin shipped from China. And she said two times since she has been here . I broke her heart.

Her daily routine when I'm working is to stay home. She wont go for a walk, which she likes a lot. She cant drive and she doesn't want too.

When I'm here , its grocery shopping. Visiting parks. eating together.

She has plenty of friends. We have traveled around visiting, and have had her friends here.

All she has to say is I want to go visit, and its done.

[Hotter Otter 1,211]

I agree with Harpa, if I "didn't have to do anything" I'd be miserable as hell and it would wreck my self esteem. At the end of the day it's not all about material things, some things you can't provide with a credit card.

Edit as you posted while I was posting... It seems like you both have a little bit of an attitude towards each others countries from your last post. The whole thing about housing etc.

Edited June 2, 2014 by Hotter Otter

[Dieseltu 19]

Grieving or not. I'm not a whipping boy. I got a full plate. I'm tired. She has an unrealistic agenda . She likes it better when I'm working. And she wants me to fix everything fast.

[augusta23 8]

whos older?

[Dieseltu 19]

Im 50, She is 45

I commented about the housing but I wasn't allowed to post it.

[Hotter Otter 1,211]

Im 50, She is 45

I commented about the housing but I wasn't allowed to post it.

whos older?

There goes your assumptions lol

[Harpa Timsah 13,258]

Well, that is rather strange. I think everyone will agree that a serious heart to heart is in order.

If she thinks she can get a state DL with glamour shots then.... not sure she came into it understanding that things will be different.

[QueenComley 295]

I have been here 19 months and believe me I have my wobbly moments. I would most definitely still give your wife a bit more time and be as understanding and supportive as you can to her home sickness and to her adjustment.

I have highs and lows and I find myself incredibly homesick at times. I miss my family and friends so much that at times it can be overwhelming.

I hope your wife settles in soon. Good luck

[Sam and Fen 41]

The first year of our marriage was not easy, we had constant arguments and to top it up my daughter was going off to College and I was on the phone with the ex a lot. There were days I wanted to chuck her out the window and I am sure she felt the same way, 4 years later there are stll times I want to chuck her out the window but then I think I would be lost with out her.

I will give credit to my wife tough, she kept her self busy walking every where she wanted to go, she even walked to the mall, which was a good 5 miles from where we lived.

I pulled some strings and got her a job at Kolhs and she eventually made some friends with Chinese women and got her self a job at a factory working the second shift.

There is a huge culture shift for them, When she started working at the factory I signed her up for direct deposit, she was pissed that she was not getting the pay check in hand that she could physically take to the bank.

Hang in there and as others have said she needs to do something, an idle mind is a devils workshop.