Bumming out, productively.

[drenie_elyonie 12]

Yeah, apple21, i want to study too! Sabi nga ng husband ko, kung mahirapan ako maghanap ng work before august, mag aral na muna ako mas mabuti nang may ginagawa kesa wala diba. Good luck ha! Hanap din nga ako dito sa area namin, baka may mga one day classes din i hope it's not too expensive though.

Sweet cakes, marami nga filipino communities dito. Almost everywhere you go there are pinoys it's nice especially when you get tired of cooking filipino food, just run down the block and there's a carinderia! Complete with ube and leche flan for dessert it really feels nice to be able to eat pinoy comfort food once in a while. And I can relate to feeling insecure. Back in pinas, akala ko magaling na ako mag english. Pero dito, i get nervous and stutter a lot! Lalo pag mejo nagmamadali haha. Minsan natatawa nalang ako sa sarili ko but that's just how it is, pakapalan nalang ng mukha kasi walang mangyayari kung mahihiya eh. Go lang ng go!

[drenie_elyonie 12]

My fiance is also in the US Navy! Maybe one day we'll be stationed in the same city/state. Once I get the visa, we'll be in Virginia for a year, then who knows maybe San Diego!

I am also worried about finding a job... even though I know my fiance can provide for both of us, I like keeping busy. Staying at home all day is not my cup of tea. Are you Filipino? Im French-Filipino and fiance is Filipino.

Hey, sweetgal8! Yup, i'm filipino! I hear that Virginia is nice, a little humid but the scenery is beautiful! One of the things I like about my husband's job is that he gets to travel, and we can tag along did you grow up in the philippines? i miss my home country a lot, but I like the weather here a lot better. More temperate and not so humid also, less pollution haha! Yeah, finding a job is the next challenge we'll be facing. We just have to have more faith in ourselves, since the first step is always the hardest but if we don't do it we won't get anywhere

[Naisha 5]

I understand how you feel OP. I can relate to the feelings of being unproductive. I miss working. That's why I'm getting involved with the community. I volunteered at the museum and chamber of commerce here in our area. It's going good so far, I met a lot of good people (they can be good references for applying job in the future lol). I don't have my DL yet so I just walk since downtown is near. We don't have TFC so I watch my Pinoy tv shows online at mypinoytvko.net, the shows are up to date. They have both ABS and GMA shows. We have Netflix too. I like Suits, I'm waiting for their season 4 premier next month lol... I don't get bored at home easily, but sometimes it's uncomfortable not having my own money, because I've been depending on myself for the last 8 years >,< ... I'm looking forward to getting a job from home so we don't have to buy a new car for me, and wait til we move to San Diego by the end of next year to buy a car (the winter here in Chicago was brutal).. My husband is in the navy too and stationed here in Great Lakes.

Congrats on getting your EAD! Finding a job here is pretty challenging especially for immigrants that doesn't have a work experience here in the US. Just hang in there and have faith. I hope to see you when we move to SD.

[Zeeshanish 9]

Its completely normal feeling given your circumstances and in a new country and all!

[drenie_elyonie 12]

I understand how you feel OP. I can relate to the feelings of being unproductive. I miss working. That's why I'm getting involved with the community. I volunteered at the museum and chamber of commerce here in our area. It's going good so far, I met a lot of good people (they can be good references for applying job in the future lol). I don't have my DL yet so I just walk since downtown is near. We don't have TFC so I watch my Pinoy tv shows online at mypinoytvko.net, the shows are up to date. They have both ABS and GMA shows. We have Netflix too. I like Suits, I'm waiting for their season 4 premier next month lol... I don't get bored at home easily, but sometimes it's uncomfortable not having my own money, because I've been depending on myself for the last 8 years >,< ... I'm looking forward to getting a job from home so we don't have to buy a new car for me, and wait til we move to San Diego by the end of next year to buy a car (the winter here in Chicago was brutal).. My husband is in the navy too and stationed here in Great Lakes.

Congrats on getting your EAD! Finding a job here is pretty challenging especially for immigrants that doesn't have a work experience here in the US. Just hang in there and have faith. I hope to see you when we move to SD.

Hi naisha, that's awesome, thanks for the link! Now I won't be so clueless when our friends talk about the latest telenovelas My husband told me last night that we'll get cable only if I get a job, haha! Which only means that i'll have to pay for it I want to earn my own money soon, like you said it's hard for someone who's been working for a long time to just suddenly stay at home and not be able to get a job. The security of always having a salary isn't there anymore. Our spouses may say that we can always ask them for money if we need anything, but that's really easier said than done!

I'd really like to visit Chicago, old cities with great architecture interest me. I like looking at old buildings and the design details. I remember watching this movie, The Lake House, and thought how cool it was when they went on a walking tour of Chicago "together". Watch it! (if you haven't yet) I hope I get the chance to visit your city too. PM me if you want to meet up in SD! I love living close by the beach, it's such a magical place. Also, here in SD you can get around town by riding the buses and trolleys. I don't have my own car too but I'm not completely immobilized here. If you need to go somewhere, just familiarize yourself with the bus routes and schedules, and be prepared for a little bit of walking But I bet you're already used to that

Its completely normal feeling given your circumstances and in a new country and all!

Thank you, zeeshanish! I know moving to a new country, any country, will always be challenging. It might seem childish to some people, that we complain about doing nothing when we get here, but for some of us that is the case. I just wanted others who are going through the same situation to know that they are not alone, and that there are lots of things we can do to productively pass the time. This ain't no pity party, as some people may be inclined to think

Good luck on your interview, I hope everything goes well!

[landr 126]

This will be my situation in a few months' time. I've had a few periods in my life where I was waiting around for the next stage of my life to happen. I'm okay at occupying my time with things to do, but the waiting still gets to me.

I will probably spend my time catching up on shows and reading, doing online courses, prepping my CV and looking for our first place together.

[sweet cakes 326]

Sweet cakes, marami nga filipino communities dito. Almost everywhere you go there are pinoys it's nice especially when you get tired of cooking filipino food, just run down the block and there's a carinderia! Complete with ube and leche flan for dessert it really feels nice to be able to eat pinoy comfort food once in a while. And I can relate to feeling insecure. Back in pinas, akala ko magaling na ako mag english. Pero dito, i get nervous and stutter a lot! Lalo pag mejo nagmamadali haha. Minsan natatawa nalang ako sa sarili ko but that's just how it is, pakapalan nalang ng mukha kasi walang mangyayari kung mahihiya eh. Go lang ng go!

Ohhh geez! Ube and Leche flan!! I'm super jealous! The closest Filipino carinderia here is about 10 miles, 30 mins by car, and Little Manila in Jersey city is about an hour, and the husband is not very fond of long hikes just for food. Imagine malayo na ang 1 hour-drive sa kanila dito?!

I do stutter sometimes too. I get distracted when I feel really cold and I also become nervous when I tremble. It really helps that most Americans I have encountered are nice and helpful. But of course, there are still those who give me a weird look or response. lol. Must be the accent. We just have to be brave in facing those little fears.

Agreed with Zeeshanish, It's perfectly human to miss home, the comfort zone that we have been so used to. It's a whole different world here. I can't imagine of anybody (not only Filipinos) with a stable social and cultural ties and attachment to the family wherever they may be from to not even think of their family back home once in a while. That's over-the-top pretentious. We are just so lucky, I guess, that we're in an age where contacting and having video calls with our family and friends can be done in just a few clicks and screen strokes.

Don't worry. People here will always have their opinions, and may equate feelings of uncertainty to unpreparedness.

[TBoneTX 46,200]

One post has been edited to remove unnecessary material, then returned to thread as follows:

YOU, have no iea how lucky you are! Thousands of people would love to be here! YOU, seem to take it for granted. My wife came here on a K-1, waited her 3 months, got EAD/AP.,.,..,.and pursured work, which she found, and with a great company with great benefits.

If you were not informed of what to expect when you came here, then you need to look someone in the eye, and ask questions.,..,,.,IF, you did not know or did not ask, then well, you should have.

[TBoneTX 46,200]

One post edited to remove a quote and part of response, and returned to thread as follows:

I would like to inform you, however, that I wasn't unprepared when I decided to come to the US and live with my husband. I've worked here before coming on a K1 visa. I've interacted with my american colleagues, lived on my own for months, so yeah, i knew what to expect. Did you not read the part where I said that i'm lucky to be here? I'm not the first person in our family to go to the US, so I'm aware of what it takes to live in this great country. The visa process was relatively smooth sailing for us, but it wasn't without its low points. I hope, if ever your wife gets a bit sad or stressed or homesick, that you'll be kind enough to understand and know that everybody goes through those kinds of emotions at some point in their life. And I think I'm correct in assuming that more than half of the posts in this particular forum talk about dealing with the difficulties of adjusting to a new life in the US. So yeah, I feel pretty confident in what I just posted, because I know a lot of us need a place and time to share our thoughts and help each other in dealing with our problems, as well as the joys and accomplishments we achieve here.

One post returned to thread after quoted material was removed:

Hi d_e,

There are many members on VJ that understand where you're coming from and can genuinely EMPATHIZE. My asawa fully relates.

The way you've articulated yourself, It doesn't appear to me that you SEEM to be taking things for granted. To the contrary, you don't SEEM to take it for granted since as you pointed out, "I know that, right now, I'm lucker than most". FWIW, I don't hear complaining, rather I read that someone (You) simply wanted to relate their feelings and experiences since arriving. It was a great read and you expressed yourself poignantly.

Trust my wife, you may once again find yourself so busy again that you're look back and realize what your were feeling back then and how different it will was.

BTW, what is your husband's rating? I'm retired Navy and was a CTT (Cryptologic Technician Technical). I don't think it exists any longer. Where are you from in the Philippines? My asawa is from CDO on Mindanao.

Regards,

Torete

[drenie_elyonie 12]

Ohhh geez! Ube and Leche flan!! I'm super jealous! The closest Filipino carinderia here is about 10 miles, 30 mins by car, and Little Manila in Jersey city is about an hour, and the husband is not very fond of long hikes just for food. Imagine malayo na ang 1 hour-drive sa kanila dito?!

I do stutter sometimes too. I get distracted when I feel really cold and I also become nervous when I tremble. It really helps that most Americans I have encountered are nice and helpful. But of course, there are still those who give me a weird look or response. lol. Must be the accent. We just have to be brave in facing those little fears.

Agreed with Zeeshanish, It's perfectly human to miss home, the comfort zone that we have been so used to. It's a whole different world here. I can't imagine of anybody (not only Filipinos) with a stable social and cultural ties and attachment to the family wherever they may be from to not even think of their family back home once in a while. That's over-the-top pretentious. We are just so lucky, I guess, that we're in an age where contacting and having video calls with our family and friends can be done in just a few clicks and screen strokes.

Don't worry. People here will always have their opinions, and may equate feelings of uncertainty to unpreparedness.

1 hour drive is really far! I too sometimes want to go some place but when my husband hears that it's gonna take thirty minutes or more, he suddenly feels tired and doesn't want to drive I remember back in Manila, I used to commute 1 and a half hours just to get to work, not to mention smelling like pollution y the time I get there. Good times! If you miss pinoy food, you can always cook! this website, panlasangpinoy.com, is my go-to site for filipino recipes. i think the blogger is somewhere overseas, so he has suggestions on what to substitute for hard to find ingredients.

Agree, most Americans are very friendly! Bus drivers are especially nice, that's why I like taking the bus, because usually everyone is so polite and happy that it gets me into a good mood for the day

[TBoneTX 46,200]

Three posts have been edited and returned to the thread, as described above. There are ways of making points without using a sledgehammer.

Everyone is advised to limit their use of foreign languages outside the regional forums. If you must say something in a different language, please keep it brief and provide the English translation so that everyone can understand.

[Messybrownhair 251]

Going back to school is a great way to pass time, build confidence, make friends and create a life and network for yourself that is outside of your husband. I decided to go to grad school here and it was a great decision, I had a couple of job offers before I graduated and now I make more than my husband But he was supportive of my dream to go back to school. Pregnancy and a baby is also a great way to pass time.. You'll never be bored after that, and you'll never have time to clean your stove! Goodluck!

[drenie_elyonie 12]

Hi d_e,

There are many members on VJ that understand where you're coming from and can genuinely EMPATHIZE. My asawa fully relates.

The way you've articulated yourself, It doesn't appear to me that you SEEM to be taking things for granted. To the contrary, you don't SEEM to take it for granted since as you pointed out, "I know that, right now, I'm lucker than most". FWIW, I don't hear complaining, rather I read that someone (You) simply wanted to relate their feelings and experiences since arriving. It was a great read and you expressed yourself poignantly.

Trust my wife, you may once again find yourself so busy again that you're look back and realize what your were feeling back then and how different it will was.

BTW, what is your husband's rating? I'm retired Navy and was a CTT (Cryptologic Technician Technical). I don't think it exists any longer. Where are you from in the Philippines? My asawa is from CDO on Mindanao.

Regards,

Torete

Hi torete, my husband is a Hospital Corpsman. Cryptologic Technician Technical sounds like a tough job! I'm from Antipolo, Rizal. My brother was in CDO for two years back in the early 2000's, he was on his mission for our church. He told me that it's a beautiful city, and from the pictures I can agree! I hope to visit Mindanao when I go back to the Philippines, I heard that the food is great especially the fresh fruits and seafood

Thanks for taking the time to understand my post, I know it just feels good to know we're not alone in experiencing this. Hopefully it helps couples who will go through it in the future, because it's so important to understand that it's not only the petitioner who sacrificed so much in the immigration process, but the beneficiary as well. We had to give up jobs, friends and FAMILY, basically our old life, to be with our husbands/wives. Both have to be honest and understanding with each other, and do their best to make the new life happier than the previous one they both left behind

[rlogan 2,036]

Spice it up! Have an affair. Rob a bank. A shooting spree perhaps? lol. You have a good attitude, drenie.

My wife cooks a lot of international dishes, currently on a Thai cuisine kick which I am enjoying very much. She's on a diet, so she cooks it and then sits across from me while watching me eat it.

[Torete 121]

Hi d_e,

Ahaaaa...a Hospital Corpman...one of the ratings you never wanted to ruffle their feathers...the others being the Mess Specialist (Food), and the Disbursing Clerk ($$$). :-) HC's have access to needles and shots...haha. Well, in the day the CT rating was a good rating to be in. Ask you husband if he's heard of it. He's stationed at Balboa?

I'm being lazy at the moment so I'll Google Antipolo, Rizal later...new places interest me. CDO is just fine and it's a pretty safe city but not as safe as Davao. And yes, you'll enjoy the food!!

I'll go with "you'll be fine in time", so perservere and things will change...change may be hard, but it's good.

Feel free to PM me and I'll pass it on to my asawa. Even though she's been here over 2 years, she fully relates to how you feel.

Take care,

Torete