The other side of deportation: An American struggles to prepare for life without husband

[JohnR! 5,495]

Perhaps what escapes you is that you were no better than him, just because you found a way around our broken immigration system. Your situation and his were morally identical. You need not be empathetic or even sympathetic to his predicament, but certainly you should realize you don't find yourself in a position to throw stones.

No, it is not a balanced article at all, it is just the opposite. It didn't show the facts. Why did he continuously to work for Best Buy illegally for 16 years knowing he was not supposed to drop out of status as an FI student? Did his DUI conviction result death and injuries? Those are the unanswered questions that went unreported in the article. I am sorry, I can't feel sorry for this couple when I went through so much myself. He didn't obey the law for 16 years. If he dropped out of status for 2 years, and tried to clean up to start over, I would have thought differently. I don't feel to empathetic when he was paid 60000 a year while others like me tried to follow the immigration laws.

[Trav&Shell 83]

Why should I stop comparing myself to his? I was a low binding non citizen, and I was rewarded at the end. And I am being grateful. Just because I don't feel empathy towards this couple, doesn't mean I am not grateful. I just feel this story is a bit staged and there are many holes in the article.

The reason I said "stop comparing your story to his" is that I've found the best way to move on from challenges is to leave them in the dust and I inferred from what you said that you hadn't. You've clarified since then that your attitude is grateful, not comparing, so there's no need to beat this point anymore. Being grateful is good (better than most of us, actually) and making the point that the story is staged is certainly observable.

[Zombie69 363]

Ironically, the only difference between the two of you is that you had financial means to work the system.

I believe the British call it 'pull up the ladder jack'.

Good luck with your new life as a LPR in America.

The only difference between me and him is that I obeyed the law and worked hard to maintain it for 17 years, and he didn't, he worked illegally for 16 years and got caught. I did everything legally, and he did everything illegally and got paid heftily, there is nothing ironic about it. The ironic part is with all the money he had made, he should have been the one to use the financial means to work the system. You can't just keep spin and spin and pretend he didn't do anything wrong.

Edited November 17, 2014 by Zombie69

[JohnR! 5,495]

The only difference is that he got caught.

The only difference between me and him is that I obeyed the law and worked hard to maintain it for 17 years, and he didn't, he worked illegally for 16 years and got caught.

[Zombie69 363]

The reason I said "stop comparing your story to his" is that I've found the best way to move on from challenges is to leave them in the dust and I inferred from what you said that you hadn't. You've clarified since then that your attitude is grateful, not comparing, so there's no need to beat this point anymore. Being grateful is good (better than most of us, actually) and making the point that the story is staged is certainly observable.

The point is people need to be responsible for their own actions. He broke the law, and he knew he could have fixed it, but he didn't, he's got 16 years to do so, and he actually had a lot of options, He has already paid the price(deportation), but what I have a little problem with is that he is acting that they are the victims. "We need Rosa Park type activist for immigration", we sure do, but it just seems strange that they are putting themselves in a category as if they are being discriminated against, they are not. I was. I could not even get married until last years when Supreme Court struck down Defense of Marriage Act that discriminated against gay people for 20 years when it comes to federal benefits. I am grateful now I am treated as equally as straight people when it comes to immigration benefits.

Edited November 17, 2014 by Zombie69

[Trav&Shell 83]

The point is people need to be responsible for their own actions. He broke the law, and he knew he could have fixed it, but he didn't. He has already paid the price(deportation), but what I have a little problem with is that he is acting that they are the victims. "We need Rosa Park type activist for immigration", we sure do, but it just seems strange that they are putting themselves in a category as if they are being discriminated against, they are not. I was.

I think you missed the part in my post where I said "there's no need to beat this point anymore." Let it go. It's in the past and you succeeded. And now, we all hear you loud and clear.

Edited November 17, 2014 by Trav&Shell

[Zombie69 363]

I think you missed the part in my post where I said "there's no need to beat this point anymore." Let it go. It's in the past and you succeeded. And now, we all hear you loud and clear.

Who is "We"????

Let it go loud and clear? Why can't you let it go?

The only difference is that he got caught.

You don't know anything about discrimination. Don't even go there.

[Trav&Shell 83]

Who is "We"????

Let it go loud and clear? Why can't you let it go?

We is everyone on this forum. And I am not the one arguing. You are the one who keeps responding to my messages - even my congratulatory ones - with hostility. Just stop.

[Zombie69 363]

We is everyone on this forum. And I am not the one arguing. You are the one who keeps responding to my messages - even my congratulatory ones - with hostility. Just stop.

You don't "represent" the majority of the posters here, you "represent" you. Don't imply that I am in minority, why can't you just stop?

[Trav&Shell 83]

You don't "represent" the majority of the posters here, you "represent" you. Don't imply that I am in minority, why can't you just stop?

YOU are the one who singled out my post from May to respond to. YOU are the one who refutes everything that everyone has said to you with cries of "you don't know discrimination, I do, I was wronged but I prevailed." YOU are the one who keeps responding when I try to close off the discussion. And now YOU are the one that I can't see replies to anymore so don't bother (the block function is FANTASTIC). Have a nice life!

Edited November 17, 2014 by Trav&Shell

[Zombie69 363]

Perhaps what escapes you is that you were no better than him, just because you found a way around our broken immigration system. Your situation and his were morally identical. You need not be empathetic or even sympathetic to his predicament, but certainly you should realize you don't find yourself in a position to throw stones.

I found a way? I legally tried hard to let me student visa stay valid for over a 17 years, and I also go my degree where as Sunaid didn't, how is it identical?? it is not that I found a way, it is the law, My situation and his are not morally identical. I hung on, and I had no other options, and I made it. He was not supposed to drop out of school, and chose to work illegally, that is not identical to my situation. You just don't know what you are talking about anymore. I just don't feel sorry for this couple, and you have a problem with that. They had so many options, and I didn't, but I legally complied everything the INA required, and I was rewarded, and I am proud, and you?? You are comparing me to his situations and say I was morally identical?LOL. You are just losing it.

Edited November 17, 2014 by Zombie69

[Zombie69 363]

We is everyone on this forum. And I am not the one arguing. You are the one who keeps responding to my messages - even my congratulatory ones - with hostility. Just stop.

You don't represent everyone, you represent me, if you don't want to argue with me, then why do you keep responding?

[Jon and Krissy 452]

The last barrage of posts reminds me of the Monty Python argument sketch:

The Cast (in order of appearance.)
M= Man looking for an argument
R= Receptionist
Q= Abuser
A= Arguer (John Cleese)
C= Complainer (Eric Idle)
H= Head Hitter

M: Ah. I'd like to have an argument, please.
R: Certainly sir. Have you been here before?
M: No, I haven't, this is my first time.
R: I see. Well, do you want to have just one argument, or were you thinking of taking a course?
M: Well, what is the cost?
R: Well, It's one pound for a five minute argument, but only eight pounds for a course of ten.
M: Well, I think it would be best if I perhaps started off with just the one and then see how it goes.
R: Fine. Well, I'll see who's free at the moment.
Pause
R: Mr. DeBakey's free, but he's a little bit conciliatory.
Ahh yes, Try Mr. Barnard; room 12.
M: Thank you.

(Walks down the hall. Opens door.)

Q: WHAT DO YOU WANT?
M: Well, I was told outside that...
Q: Don't give me that, you snotty-faced heap of parrot droppings!
M: What?
Q: Shut your festering gob, you #######! Your type really makes me puke, you vacuous, coffee-nosed, maloderous, pervert!!!
M: Look, I CAME HERE FOR AN ARGUMENT, I'm not going to just stand...!!
Q: OH, oh I'm sorry, but this is abuse.
M: Oh, I see, well, that explains it.
Q: Ah yes, you want room 12A, Just along the corridor.
M: Oh, Thank you very much. Sorry.
Q: Not at all.
M: Thank You.
(Under his breath) Stupid git!!

(Walk down the corridor)
M: (Knock)
A: Come in.
M: Ah, Is this the right room for an argument?
A: I told you once.
M: No you haven't.
A: Yes I have.
M: When?
A: Just now.
M: No you didn't.
A: Yes I did.
M: You didn't
A: I did!
M: You didn't!
A: I'm telling you I did!
M: You did not!!
A: Oh, I'm sorry, just one moment. Is this a five minute argument or the full half hour?
M: Oh, just the five minutes.
A: Ah, thank you. Anyway, I did.
M: You most certainly did not.
A: Look, let's get this thing clear; I quite definitely told you.
M: No you did not.
A: Yes I did.
M: No you didn't.
A: Yes I did.
M: No you didn't.
A: Yes I did.
M: No you didn't.
A: Yes I did.
M: You didn't.
A: Did.
M: Oh look, this isn't an argument.
A: Yes it is.
M: No it isn't. It's just contradiction.
A: No it isn't.
M: It is!
A: It is not.
M: Look, you just contradicted me.
A: I did not.
M: Oh you did!!
A: No, no, no.
M: You did just then.
A: Nonsense!
M: Oh, this is futile!
A: No it isn't.
M: I came here for a good argument.
A: No you didn't; no, you came here for an argument.
M: An argument isn't just contradiction.
A: It can be.
M: No it can't. An argument is a connected series of statements intended to establish a proposition.
A: No it isn't.
M: Yes it is! It's not just contradiction.
A: Look, if I argue with you, I must take up a contrary position.
M: Yes, but that's not just saying 'No it isn't.'
A: Yes it is!
M: No it isn't!

A: Yes it is!
M: Argument is an intellectual process. Contradiction is just the automatic gainsaying of any statement the other person makes.
(short pause)
A: No it isn't.
M: It is.
A: Not at all.
M: Now look.
A: (Rings bell) Good Morning.
M: What?
A: That's it. Good morning.
M: I was just getting interested.
A: Sorry, the five minutes is up.
M: That was never five minutes!
A: I'm afraid it was.
M: It wasn't.
Pause
A: I'm sorry, but I'm not allowed to argue anymore.
M: What?!
A: If you want me to go on arguing, you'll have to pay for another five minutes.
M: Yes, but that was never five minutes, just now. Oh come on!
A: (Hums)
M: Look, this is ridiculous.
A: I'm sorry, but I'm not allowed to argue unless you've paid!
M: Oh, all right.
(pays money)
A: Thank you.
short pause
M: Well?
A: Well what?
M: That wasn't really five minutes, just now.
A: I told you, I'm not allowed to argue unless you've paid.
M: I just paid!
A: No you didn't.
M: I DID!
A: No you didn't.
M: Look, I don't want to argue about that.
A: Well, you didn't pay.
M: Aha. If I didn't pay, why are you arguing? I Got you!
A: No you haven't.
M: Yes I have. If you're arguing, I must have paid.
A: Not necessarily. I could be arguing in my spare time.
M: Oh I've had enough of this.
A: No you haven't.
M: Oh Shut up.

(Walks down the stairs. Opens door.)

M: I want to complain.
C: You want to complain! Look at these shoes. I've only had them three weeks and the heels are worn right through.
M: No, I want to complain about...
C: If you complain nothing happens, you might as well not bother.
M: Oh!
C: Oh my back hurts, it's not a very fine day and I'm sick and tired of this office.

(Slams door. walks down corridor, opens next door.)

M: Hello, I want to... Ooooh!
H: No, no, no. Hold your head like this, then go Waaah. Try it again.
M: uuuwwhh!!
H: Better, Better, but Waah, Waah! Put your hand there.
M: No.
H: Now..
M: Waaaaah!!!
H: Good, Good! That's it.
M: Stop hitting me!!
H: What?
M: Stop hitting me!!
H: Stop hitting you?
M: Yes!
H: Why did you come in here then?
M: I wanted to complain.
H: Oh no, that's next door. It's being-hit-on-the-head lessons in here.
M: What a stupid concept.

[JohnR! 5,495]

I know it when I see it.

You don't know anything about discrimination. Don't even go there.

[JohnR! 5,495]

You admitted to holding on to a student visa just so you could stay in the country. He got caught. You didn't.

In any case it doesn't really matter.

I found a way? I legally tried hard to let me student visa stay valid for over a 17 years, and I also go my degree where as Sunaid didn't, how is it identical?? it is not that I found a way, it is the law, My situation and his are not morally identical. I hung on, and I had no other options, and I made it. He was not supposed to drop out of school, and chose to work illegally, that is not identical to my situation. You just don't know what you are talking about anymore. I just don't feel sorry for this couple, and you have a problem with that. They had so many options, and I didn't, but I legally complied everything the INA required, and I was rewarded, and I am proud, and you?? You are comparing me to his situations and say I was morally identical?LOL. You are just losing it.

Edited November 17, 2014 by JohnR!