The other side of deportation: An American struggles to prepare for life without husband

[Neela & Jitu 79]

You are absolutely right. Funny thing is, they are complaining against immigration laws when they don't even follow the law.

It seems he doesn't have any love or respect towards his father and the country he was born; how could he expect love & respect from others?

[zuluweta 250]

You are absolutely right. Funny thing is, they are complaining against immigration laws when they don't even follow the law.

It seems he doesn't have any love or respect towards his father and the country he was born; how could he aspect love & respect from others?

Someone else already pointed this out but what boggles the mind is he was employed as a manager at Best Buy. Everytime he hired someone, he had to check their eligibility to work even as he was ineligible to work! It's like the fox guarding the chickens inside the fence.

[Neela & Jitu 79]

Someone else already pointed this out but what boggles the mind is he was employed as a manager at Best Buy. Everytime he hired someone, he had to check their eligibility to work even as he was ineligible to work! It's like the fox guarding the chickens inside the fence.

Lol. Simple he used somebody else's Social security!!!

[Jon and Krissy 452]

Because she loves her job & house more than her husband.

Bingo.

[Jawaree 718]

Amazing how much hate and judgment get spewed on this forum over

and over by the same ppl and they too either got in here somehow

as an immigrant (wants to close the door behind them) others trying

to get their ppl in thinking their ppl alone deserves the opportunity.

I honestly have to smile at some of these immigrants comments..Don't

get me wrong everyone should enter the proper way, but we all know it

does not happen always like that, there are those though that deserve

some sympathy ....what if it was the other way around?

The world changes if we read history we see that, we may not be around

but will leave offsprings not knowing where in the world things will change

God bless U all

[Zombie69 363]

Oh good grief...wow...this story was heart-wrenching. Think I'm going to go cry now, because this story made me miss the man who is right now napping in my living room, as if I was the one on that plane going back home without my other half...

I don't feel sorry for the guy at all. I also came here as an F-1 student, but I obeyed the laws and kept my visa valid for 17 years as a full time student, and it paid off. I could not even get married to my love because gay marriage didn't exist. He worked illegally for 16 years and he got into DUI?? What's so sad about this story? This reporting is one sided and does not tell us the whole story.

[Trav&Shell 83]

I don't feel sorry for the guy at all. I also came here as an F-1 student, but I obeyed the laws and kept my visa valid for 17 years as a full time student, and it paid off. I could not even get married to my love because gay marriage didn't exist. He worked illegally for 16 years and he got into DUI?? What's so sad about this story? This reporting is one sided and does not tell us the whole story.

You are not obligated to feel sorry for anyone as that is your choice, just as I am not obligated to feel sorry for you if I so choose. Try a little empathy, because we all make mistakes (some larger and farther reaching than others).

As for the reporting, the article was clearly intended as a human interest piece showcasing the experience of this family. It showed all the facts it needed to and reported on the man's failings. Thus, it is a balanced article. While it may not be your cup of tea, you can certainly appreciate the fact that for the family in question this is a difficult time. You can do that, can't you?

Edited November 17, 2014 by Trav&Shell

[JohnR! 5,495]

Ironically, the only difference between the two of you is that you had financial means to work the system.

I believe the British call it 'pull up the ladder jack'.

Good luck with your new life as a LPR in America.

I don't feel sorry for the guy at all. I also came here as an F-1 student, but I obeyed the laws and kept my visa valid for 17 years as a full time student, and it paid off. I could not even get married to my love because gay marriage didn't exist. He worked illegally for 16 years and he got into DUI?? What's so sad about this story? This reporting is one sided and does not tell us the whole story.

Edited November 17, 2014 by JohnR!

[Zombie69 363]

You are not obligated to feel sorry for anyone as that is your choice, just as I am not obligated to feel sorry for you if I so choose. Try a little empathy, because we all make mistakes (some larger and farther reaching than others).

As for the reporting, the article was clearly intended as a human interest piece showcasing the experience of this family. It showed all the facts it needed to and reported on the man's failings. Thus, it is a balanced article. While it may not be your cup of tea, you can certainly appreciate the fact that for the family in question this is a difficult time. You can do that, can't you?

Sure, but from the journalistic point of view, this story obviously is trying to make us feel sympathetic towards this couple. Do I have empathy for the guy? Maybe a little bit, but he came here as a student and dropped out of school, and got paid heftily. So he wasn't doing so bad, was he? When I was a student, I scrambled to follow the rules without evening knowing where it was going to lead to, i wasn't even eligible for any immigration benefits because I am gay, and there was not federal benefits for gay people, it caused so much pain for me, my partner(now spouse), and my family. That's what I am talking about. He came here, and he broke the law by working illegally, and he didn't fix and get his immigration issues settled. And now, are they really a reflection of our broken immigration system where there are others like me who just keep following the rules and trying to be legalized with their loved ones so they can share the American dreams together as a family? no sure, but with the experience I have gone through, I simply can't just say "People make mistakes", he got 15 years, and he got paid well, and he got married after the deportation proceedings started which was a big no no as well. He can only blame himself, and I just don't know how much empathy i have towards this couple. I struggled for 17 years, and finally it paid off.

Edited November 17, 2014 by Zombie69

[Zombie69 363]

You are not obligated to feel sorry for anyone as that is your choice, just as I am not obligated to feel sorry for you if I so choose. Try a little empathy, because we all make mistakes (some larger and farther reaching than others).

As for the reporting, the article was clearly intended as a human interest piece showcasing the experience of this family. It showed all the facts it needed to and reported on the man's failings. Thus, it is a balanced article. While it may not be your cup of tea, you can certainly appreciate the fact that for the family in question this is a difficult time. You can do that, can't you?

No, it is not a balanced article at all, it is just the opposite. It didn't show the facts. Why did he continuously to work for Best Buy illegally for 16 years knowing he was not supposed to drop out of status as an FI student? Did his DUI conviction result death and injuries? Those are the unanswered questions that went unreported in the article. I am sorry, I can't feel sorry for this couple when I went through so much myself. He didn't obey the law for 16 years. If he dropped out of status for 2 years, and tried to clean up to start over, I would have thought differently. I don't feel to empathetic when he was paid 60000 a year while others like me tried to follow the immigration laws.

[Trav&Shell 83]

Sure, but from the journalistic point of view, this story obviously is trying to make us feel sympathy towards this couple. Do I have empathy for the guy? Maybe a little bit, but he came here as a student and dropped out of school, and got paid heftily. So he wasn't doing so bad? When I was a student, I scrambled to follow the rules without evening knowing when it was going to lead to, it caused so much pain for me, my partner(now spouse), and my family. That's what I am talking about. He came here, and he broke the law by working illegally, and he didn't fix and get his immigration issues settled. And now, are they really a reflection of our broken immigration system where there are others like me who just keep following the rules and trying to be legalized with their loved ones so they can share the American dreams together as a family. But with the experience I have gone through, I simply can't just say "People make mistakes", he got 15 years, and he got paid well, and he got married after the deportation proceedings started which was a big no no as well. He can only blame himself, and I just don't know how much empathy i have towards this couple. I struggled for 17 years, and finally it paid off.

Well, I can concede that the author of the article should have chosen their subject better - your story sounds like it would certainly be a gripping read! And yes, he made some significant errors in judgment. However, they were probably careless things he didn't think twice about because hey - he was here, he was with his family, and he'd gotten comfortable. There comes a point in this process where we all seem to get "comfortable" with whatever circumstance we're in (which is strange, because there's nothing comfortable about being in the USCIS hotseat so to speak).

That being said, congratulations for getting through YOUR particular struggle. Good things sure don't come easy or cheap, especially around here...

No, it is not a balanced article at all, it is just the opposite. It didn't show the facts. Why did he continuously to work for Best Buy illegally for 16 years knowing he was not supposed to drop out of status as an FI student? Did his DUI conviction result death and injuries? Those are the unanswered questions that went unreported in the article. I am sorry, I can't feel sorry for this couple when I went through so much myself. He didn't obey the law for 16 years. If he dropped out of status for 2 years, and tried to clean up to start over, I would have thought differently. I don't feel to empathetic when he was paid 60000 a year while others like me tried to follow the immigration laws.

My point is simply this: stop comparing his journey to yours. No one else's journey will ever measure up. Be thankful for what you got the right way. If you can't drum up a little concern for HIS end result then at least try a little empathy for the wife he left behind in his carelessness, because she probably never fully realized that their situation was so dire.

Edited November 17, 2014 by Trav&Shell

[Boiler 46,103]

Would be nice to have a follow up article about her new life in her Husbands country.

[Zombie69 363]

Well, I can concede that the author of the article should have chosen their subject better - your story sounds like it would certainly be a gripping read! And yes, he made some significant errors in judgment. However, they were probably careless things he didn't think twice about because hey - he was here, he was with his family, and he'd gotten comfortable. There comes a point in this process where we all seem to get "comfortable" with whatever circumstance we're in (which is strange, because there's nothing comfortable about being in the USCIS hotseat so to speak).

That being said, congratulations for getting through YOUR particular struggle. Good things sure don't come easy or cheap, especially around here...

My point is simply this: stop comparing his journey to yours. No one else's journey will ever measure up. Be thankful for what you got the right way, and if you can't drum up a little concern for HIS end result then at least try a little empathy for the wife he left behind in his carelessness, because she probably never had a clue.

Thanks for congratulating me. It wasn't an easy battle for me, but we made it, maybe the similarity of him coming here as a student made me feel a bit sketchy about their circumstances. Trust me, I am very thankful for the U.S government. I never take things for granted, but sometimes, you need to be responsible for your own actions. He is now paying a price for his bad own bad judgement or whatever you want to call it. One thing I have to agree is our immigration is broken, and it needs to be fixed. Too many families have been torn apart by it, and I am so grateful that I don't have to worry about that anymore. The bottom line is you always have to obey the immigration laws, it will be too late when one is placed in deportation proceedings, it is all about preventative effort as well.

[Zombie69 363]

Well, I can concede that the author of the article should have chosen their subject better - your story sounds like it would certainly be a gripping read! And yes, he made some significant errors in judgment. However, they were probably careless things he didn't think twice about because hey - he was here, he was with his family, and he'd gotten comfortable. There comes a point in this process where we all seem to get "comfortable" with whatever circumstance we're in (which is strange, because there's nothing comfortable about being in the USCIS hotseat so to speak).

That being said, congratulations for getting through YOUR particular struggle. Good things sure don't come easy or cheap, especially around here...

My point is simply this: stop comparing his journey to yours. No one else's journey will ever measure up. Be thankful for what you got the right way. If you can't drum up a little concern for HIS end result then at least try a little empathy for the wife he left behind in his carelessness, because she probably never fully realized that their situation was so dire.

Why should I stop comparing myself to his? I was a low binding non citizen, and I was rewarded at the end. And I am being grateful. Just because I don't feel empathy towards this couple, doesn't mean I am not grateful. I just feel this story is a bit staged and there are many holes in the article.

[Trav&Shell 83]

Thanks for congratulating me. It wasn't an easy battle for me, but we made it, maybe the similarity of him coming here as a student made me feel a bit sketchy about their circumstances. Trust me, I am very thankful for the U.S government. I never take things for granted, but sometimes, you need to be responsible for your own actions. He is now paying a price for his bad own bad judgement or whatever you want to call it. One thing I have to agree is our immigration is broken, and it needs to be fixed. Too many families have been torn apart by it, and I am so grateful that I don't have to worry about that anymore. The bottom line is you always have to obey the immigration laws, it will be too late when one is placed in deportation proceedings, it is all about preventative effort as well.

You're welcome - as an eventual success story, you paid your dues and did the work. You jumped through the hoops and have done something fairly huge. So, you deserve it.

I can totally understand how any similarities between your story and this one would make you uneasy. And we do all need to be responsible for our actions. Obeying the laws is always the best idea. And yes, our system is very broken - I realized this when I (the petitioner) had to start basically throwing papers at the officers until something "stuck" and fixed their mistakes with our file. I cannot IMAGINE having to deal with any larger headaches!