Goodbye

[rebeccajo 14]

In my 3+ years here I have seen many come and go. I have had highs and lows and have seen every emotion imaginable. We bicker like family and we support each other like family.

As nasty as people like to think the mena crowd is, I will attest that when the chips are down and 'one of our own' is needing help, we band together.

Hate to see someone announce they are leaving.

Jackie

I've been trying to find the right words all morning to post here, but I couldn't have said it any better myself, Jackie. I never really imagined that some of the women in MENA could become more than just a random person on the internet. I have made some truly great friends who have had my back through good times and bad. I think that's what makes MENA so special.

Will we ever meet most of the people we meet on the web, not just MENA or even VJ? Most likely not. It doesn't mean they aren't friends.

Behind those 'words on a screen' are real people. A concept that shouldn't be lost on us, since a lot of us met our husbands/wives that way.

[Fandango 1,439]

I'm going to choose my words very carefully here, so I hope everyone here can appreciate the fact that I'm not trying to offend anyone...BUT...I think threads like this perpetrate the same drama they are complaining about. And everyone comes in and picks a line in the sand so others can feel free to complain very passive aggressively with sweeping generalizations. I don't think it's right.

We are all adults here...why can't things be sorted out in a rational, reasonable manner? Do any of you ever wonder why there's so much drama and personal upset in this forum? I'd dare say its substantially larger here than any other place on VJ. From a non MENA perspective, it seems like it's a constant pizzing contest in here over who knows what, who's more qualified to speak about things, people who are 2 seconds from getting deeply offended, etc. It's ironic that this forum is indicative of what's actually going on in the MENA region (of course to a lesser degree, but you know what I mean).

Take it fwiw, and I'm sure someone will come tell me why I'm wrong, why I offended someone, or why I'm not 'qualified' to speak. But at the end of the day, we're all adults here....so maybe find some common ground, or figure out a way that so-and-so doesn't get a rise out of you. We all at this site share a bond, and you women in here have a deeper one. No one knows what it's like to be you, but another MENA woman would most prolly have the closest idea. So you can use this resource of being on common ground, and use it for your benefit, or you can continue this ridiculous pizzing match that is used for fodder and amusement to everyone here.

[cbd2cai 0]

You must not get the PMs. Good for you!

I don't get the PMs either . . . must not be posting enought!

[Bosco 1]

This will most likely be my final post in MENA, if not in VJ all together. I have learned a lot from you guys, but the time has come for me to depart. While I am sad to go, I cannot participate in this 3rd grade BS anymore.

I thought this site was to help others get through what can be an incredibly hard process. Especially when dealing with SOs in the middle east. Those who have been through it know how hard it is to wait and wait and maybe even be denied for no good reason and then fight like hell to win. But you know when you are with people who have been there, they will guide you, help you, cry with you, whatever it takes to get you through to success. I have watched others get their visas, reunite and marry, and I cheered every one of them on, even though it hurt because they interviewed after us. I wanted those same people to give me dancing yellow guys when my turn came. I went through hard times, and there were people who were there for me every step, people I thought were real friends. Sucker that I am. The saddest part for me is that the people I thought were my friends were the ones that hurt me the most in the end.

I rarely if ever got caught up in the drama of others. It seems that although I have tried to be friendly/nice towards everyone, that is not allowed here. I did not read in the TOS that there were police here who will PM you when you talk to someone they do not like. It's the freaking internet. We will never meet 95% of the people we see on here. So why the big deal??? Why is it you have to choose what you can and cannot reply to because Susie won't talk to you if you do? I tried to simply ignore the PMs, which came from more than one person, but no, they just kept coming. This process is hard as hell at times. And to have to deal with this kind of drama is flat out ridiculous. So for that reason, this forum no longer serves the purpose I came here for.

I wish those of you who are together all the happiness in the world, and those of you still waiting a speedy visa in hand celebration.

I think if you had ever considered them friends, despite feeling hurt, you would have addressed them privately, instead of bringing it to a public forum where it will obviously cause the drama you say is ridiculous.

I have made real friends on the internet and have on occasion disagreed with them. I never would have taken back to the public forum where we originally met for everyone to jump in on. I notice the friends you have claimed hurt you have chosen not to address the issues on the board despite you bringing it here, so it seems at very least they are extending you a level of courtesy and privacy that you did not extend to them.

[cbd2cai 0]

Also, I want to add something . . . not really joining in the "pizzing" contest . . . part of the reason that I stopped posting before was because someone told me the "karma was going to get me . . . what goes around comes around" C***, because I was posting about my experiences going thru Egypt and was happy that we got the visa last year . . . they accused me of rubbing it in because they were so unhappy and stressed out about their visa experience . . . all that waiting you know. Well, I had already been married for over a year by the time the visa was granted and had been on VJ for much longer . . . and WAITING much longer at the time.

So was my car wreck karma???? don't think so . . . S*** happens! won't be the first time, won't be the last time. Like I said in another thread . . .lost that baggage at the airport . . . more than once . . . it can be replaced. . . . and I get to upgrade when I do (I LUV upgrade to first class which is what I got coming and going from Columbus last week).

Am I unhappy and negative and stressed out?? Sure . . . freely admit it . . . have been all of these at various times most of my life due to other things that are NYB, but I have managed to survive and survive quite well. AND I have many moments of true genuine happiness. I do manage to make my husband laugh many times and he says that I am a very strong woman, which he likes (I hope that he really appreciates that once he gets here . . . but I dont always feel strong ).

There is no contest here or race to get the visa before anyone else . . . .and talking about ppl being unhappy and deserving it, karma getting them, etc. is NOT what I care to hear about . . . even if that is reality . .. and believe me, I am more realistic than many ppl I know while trying to hang onto some shreds of optimism.

Sorry to contribute to this thread, but I finally decided to give my opinion . . . which I try hard not to do as I try to avoid the train wrecks.

CB2 B)

Edited January 14, 2007 by cbd2cai

[w¡n9Nµ7 §£@¥€r 123]

The MENA lady who gets the visa last is a fukcing loser.

j/k. You're all winners!

Edited January 14, 2007 by Gupt

[peezey 0]

I couldn't agree more with LisaD. The passive aggressive drive-bys are so totally immature and contradictory. Don't come make nasty little judgements when you know nothing about a situation, and then say "this is why I don't come here, all this drama"....YOU ARE ADDING TO THE DRAMA. Everyone can say what they want on here, but if you're picking a fight, or hurting someone's feelings, or if someone disagrees with you, you will get a response. This is a public forum, and whatever you post here has every likelihood of being read and responded to.

As I said yesterday, if adult women can't disagree about some things without then making the other their sworn enemy, that is disturbingly immature. And if you have a problem with people you are calling friends and you post it on a public forum, expect to get called on your childish behavior.

And no, we all can't just get along, if there are 25 women in here, there are 25 different personalities, opinions, lifestyles, and that is what makes this forum.

[rebeccajo 14]

The MENA lady who gets the visa last is a fukcing loser.

j/k. You're all winners!

[in_my_eyez 0]

I'm new here on VJ/MENA. Is it ok to introduce myself without being bashed? I'll be needing some help with the visa process as time goes along, hope when I ask for it on here I won't be stepping on anyone's toes.

Bye for now.

[AngelK96 0]

Also, I want to add something . . . not really joining in the "pizzing" contest . . . part of the reason that I stopped posting before was because someone told me the "karma was going to get me . . . what goes around comes around" C***, because I was posting about my experiences going thru Egypt and was happy that we got the visa last year . . . they accused me of rubbing it in because they were so unhappy and stressed out about their visa experience . . . all that waiting you know. Well, I had already been married for over a year by the time the visa was granted and had been on VJ for much longer . . . and WAITING much longer at the time.

So was my car wreck karma???? don't think so . . . S*** happens! won't be the first time, won't be the last time. Like I said in another thread . . .lost that baggage at the airport . . . more than once . . . it can be replaced. . . . and I get to upgrade when I do (I LUV upgrade to first class which is what I got coming and going from Columbus last week).

Am I unhappy and negative and stressed out?? Sure . . . freely admit it . . . have been all of these at various times most of my life due to other things that are NYB, but I have managed to survive and survive quite well. AND I have many moments of true genuine happiness. I do manage to make my husband laugh many times and he says that I am a very strong woman, which he likes (I hope that he really appreciates that once he gets here . . . but I dont always feel strong ).

There is no contest here or race to get the visa before anyone else . . . .and talking about ppl being unhappy and deserving it, karma getting them, etc. is NOT what I care to hear about . . . even if that is reality . .. and believe me, I am more realistic than many ppl I know while trying to hang onto some shreds of optimism.

Sorry to contribute to this thread, but I finally decided to give my opinion . . . which I try hard not to do as I try to avoid the train wrecks.

CB2 B)

wow catherine I didn't know that's why you stop posting so long ago! That's just wrong for someone to say that to you!

[noura 0]

I'm new here on VJ/MENA. Is it ok to introduce myself without being bashed? I'll be needing some help with the visa process as time goes along, hope when I ask for it on here I won't be stepping on anyone's toes.

Bye for now.

welcome.... watch where you step - there's often poo lying around!

[brnidokiegurl 0]

When the time comes, just ask, alot of good people here in all areas will be willing to help when they can. Good Luck

[Bosco 1]

I couldn't agree more with LisaD. The passive aggressive drive-bys are so totally immature and contradictory. Don't come make nasty little judgements when you know nothing about a situation, and then say "this is why I don't come here, all this drama"....YOU ARE ADDING TO THE DRAMA. Everyone can say what they want on here, but if you're picking a fight, or hurting someone's feelings, or if someone disagrees with you, you will get a response. This is a public forum, and whatever you post here has every likelihood of being read and responded to.

As I said yesterday, if adult women can't disagree about some things without then making the other their sworn enemy, that is disturbingly immature. And if you have a problem with people you are calling friends and you post it on a public forum, expect to get called on your childish behavior.

And no, we all can't just get along, if there are 25 women in here, there are 25 different personalities, opinions, lifestyles, and that is what makes this forum.

I agree, the passive aggressives contribute just as much as the "cabal". They post something and when they get a reaction, they will say "oh it is the usual perpetrators", "this is why I don't post", without owning for a second that their own words have effect as well. The passive aggressive snips contribute just as much, and often exacerbate or exaggerate what goes on in this forum all the while claiming to be above it all.

[Marry American 0]

I'm going to choose my words very carefully here, so I hope everyone here can appreciate the fact that I'm not trying to offend anyone...BUT...I think threads like this perpetrate the same drama they are complaining about. And everyone comes in and picks a line in the sand so others can feel free to complain very passive aggressively with sweeping generalizations. I don't think it's right.

We are all adults here...why can't things be sorted out in a rational, reasonable manner? Do any of you ever wonder why there's so much drama and personal upset in this forum? I'd dare say its substantially larger here than any other place on VJ. From a non MENA perspective, it seems like it's a constant pizzing contest in here over who knows what, who's more qualified to speak about things, people who are 2 seconds from getting deeply offended, etc. It's ironic that this forum is indicative of what's actually going on in the MENA region (of course to a lesser degree, but you know what I mean).

Take it fwiw, and I'm sure someone will come tell me why I'm wrong, why I offended someone, or why I'm not 'qualified' to speak. But at the end of the day, we're all adults here....so maybe find some common ground, or figure out a way that so-and-so doesn't get a rise out of you. We all at this site share a bond, and you women in here have a deeper one. No one knows what it's like to be you, but another MENA woman would most prolly have the closest idea. So you can use this resource of being on common ground, and use it for your benefit, or you can continue this ridiculous pizzing match that is used for fodder and amusement to everyone here.

Well said!!!

[Sofiyya 1,687]

I love it that Maggie has the CLASS to bring out into the open one of the ugly secrets of MENA. Those who dismiss her post as "dramatic" do nothing more than serve the interests of those who use the cloak of PMs to try to manipulate and control the board and its free exchange of ideas. No one really cares who makes friends with whom, but when some attempt to use their friendships to tell people who they can and who they can't respond to or be friends with themselves, there's no reason not to address that.

I know for a fact that I'm one of those that have been blacklisted. I've known it for months. I don't really care since I don't want to associate with people whose mentality is still grade school anyway, but that it is done is a problem for the board, not only for those directly affected.

The bottom line is, there are chronological adults here and there are MATURE adults, and the twain often does not meet. It is up to the MATURE adults to negotiate proper behavior, but by dismissing the issues Maggie is exposing, you only allow the chronological adults to continue their mainpulations unopposed.

You can judge her or you can act to resolve the issue. I prefer to act.

Edited January 14, 2007 by Green-eyed girl