When is the right time to file

[JohnR! 5,495]

Of course some things suggested here are simply impossible for a Filipina. You cannot just "come over" and visit him now can you? I met my now wife on-line on DIA in July 2012. I flew to Cebu to meet her September 2012. I proposed that week and we married 7 days later. I stayed there with her for 30 days then went home a filed a CR-1 visa. I visited her once more for 3 weeks then went back home to Hawaii and we waited for the paperwork to complete. I then returned and met her in Manila in July of 2013 to attend the interview with her. She was approved and we flew together to Hawaii and the rest is history. The difference here is that I decided I wanted to marry her within minutes of seeing her in person. Whetehter that made a difference to the consular officer I will never know but our relationship was only 6 weeks old when we married. So I think you are just fine with a 5 month relationship. You have met face to face already. Just submit all the proper paperwork and you should be fine.

Good luck but most importantly, God Bless

I believe however that your case is the exception to the rule. It was based on that premise that I said IMHO one should need to get to know the person with whom one is committing to spend the rest of one's life. A visit, some time spent being together is a good way to get to know someone and it beats the alternative of just jumping in on a whim. Everyone says taht when you know you know, including divorced couples. It was not a judgment call. But again, to each his or her own.

Edited May 19, 2014 by Gegel

[sweet cakes 326]

Yup, you're right! I had the engagement ring in my suitcase when I arrived in the Philippines on my first trip/meeting, September 15, 2012. My PLAN was to meet her and if I thought she was the ONE I would propose to her on September 18, 2012 in a big way.

You can watch the video on YouTube here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iWRcOHZ1ykw&noredirect=1

The first night I met her I just knew. Three days later I proposed and the next day we went to the jewelry store and bought each other wedding rings, 4 days later (September 22, 2012) we had a beautiful wedding in Lapu Lapu, Philippines. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qCegz4CGRHw

Geez .. What a show-off! ... Kidding! That's romantic, David! and we can just but hope that OP's fiance will be as sincere as the good guys like yourself. In the end, it's her call and I still believe (as a <very> conservative Filipina ), a decision to jump on a different boat needs some time to be made. As you know, not all guys are nice.

[Marco&Bettina 502]

I believe however that your case is the exception to the rule. It was based on that premise that I said IMHO one should need to get to know the person with whom one is committing to spend the rest of one's life. A visit, some time spent being together is a good way to get to know someone and it beats the alternative of just jumping in on a whim. Everyone says taht when you know you know, including divorced couples. It was not a judgment call. But again, to each his or her own.

And what are you suggesting, that everyone's circumstances are ideal where you can actually live with your SO for years before you file anything. Some people in the world, including myself, make the same decision that gun-shy people make in much less time. Does it mean our relationship will last? No. But neither does waiting for many years. It's a gamble either way. Having already been in a 10-year marriage, the woman who captured my heart was not allowed to have a "you must know me 50 years before we get married" ultimatum.

So to answer the OP, the time is right when you feel in your heart like it is.

[David & Diana R 1,005]

And what are you suggesting, that everyone's circumstances are ideal where you can actually live with your SO for years before you file anything. Some people in the world, including myself, make the same decision that gun-shy people make in much less time. Does it mean our relationship will last? No. But neither does waiting for many years. It's a gamble either way. Having already been in a 10-year marriage, the woman who captured my heart was not allowed to have a "you must know me 50 years before we get married" ultimatum.

So to answer the OP, the time is right when you feel in your heart like it is.

Amen to that brother/sister!

[JohnR! 5,495]

And what are you suggesting, that everyone's circumstances are ideal where you can actually live with your SO for years before you file anything. Some people in the world, including myself, make the same decision that gun-shy people make in much less time. Does it mean our relationship will last? No. But neither does waiting for many years. It's a gamble either way. Having already been in a 10-year marriage, the woman who captured my heart was not allowed to have a "you must know me 50 years before we get married" ultimatum.

So to answer the OP, the time is right when you feel in your heart like it is.

I was not suggesting that at all. I was suggesting that the OP take the time to get to know the person with whom she is planning to spend the rest of her life. That was my opinion and I made it known. I was suggesting that cases like yours and the other poster are exceptions to the rule.

I completely agree that the heart knows, but then again, what is wrong suggesting one might wish to stack the deck in one's favor?

Edited May 19, 2014 by Gegel

[Marco&Bettina 502]

I was not suggesting that at all. I was suggesting that the OP take the time to get to know the person with whom she is planning to spend the rest of her life. That was my opinion and I made it known. I was suggesting that cases like yours and the other poster are exceptions to the rule.

I completely agree that the heart knows, but then again, what is wrong suggesting one might wish to stack the deck in one's favor?

Nothing's wrong with stacking the deck in your favor. I think it's a given that time spent together is one way to stack the deck. But I don't think it makes a relationship more valid just because more time was spent. I mean I will admit that the nature of an LDR changes things. Would I personally have wanted to move in with a woman after just 7 days of having met her in person? I cannot say. But technically, from the moment I first saw Betty in person, we were living together until she flew back to Germany. No one would move in with someone they've never seen, so LDRs are their own monster with its own set of pros & cons. But I had a feeling & I'm pursuing that feeling. It's a feeling that undoubtedly would not have developed as fast had I have had this person around me all the time & been going on dates & all that jazz. But I just don't feel that it devalues a short file I-129F one bit. The inherent challenge is convincing the Embassy that it's not devalued despite its short tenure.

Edited May 19, 2014 by Marco&Bettina

[JohnR! 5,495]

Nothing's wrong with stacking the deck in your favor. I think it's a given that time spent together is one way to stack the deck. But I don't think it makes a relationship more valid just because more time was spent. I mean I will admit that the nature of an LDR changes things. Would I personally have wanted to move in with a woman after just 7 days of having met her in person? I cannot say. But technically, from the moment I first say Betty in person, we were living together until she flew back to Germany. No one would move in with someone they've never seen, so LDRs are their own monster with its own set of pros & cons. But I had a feeling & I'm pursuing that feeling. It's a feeling that undoubtedly would not have developed as fast had I have had this person around me all the time & been going on dates & all that jazz. But I just don't feel that it devalues a short file I-129F one bit. The inherent challenge is convincing the Embassy that it's not devalued despite its short tenure.

For the record, I don't think that anything makes a relationship more or less valid, other than the effort, love and respect both parties put into it. Certainly not time spent together before or after marriage is the only defining factor. In that, we agree.

[llindsay 21]

Yup, you're right! I had the engagement ring in my suitcase when I arrived in the Philippines on my first trip/meeting, September 15, 2012. My PLAN was to meet her and if I thought she was the ONE I would propose to her on September 18, 2012 in a big way.

You can watch the video on YouTube here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iWRcOHZ1ykw&noredirect=1

The first night I met her I just knew. Three days later I proposed and the next day we went to the jewelry store and bought each other wedding rings, 4 days later (September 22, 2012) we had a beautiful wedding in Lapu Lapu, Philippines. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qCegz4CGRHw

Ahhh this is you on youtube. I have seen your videos before. Its good to put two and two together and im sure you have seen my videos as well. I think a lot of VJ members said it right when you know you know cause the heart knows what it wants and there nothing you can do when your heart meets the right heart of a woman.

[Marco&Bettina 502]

For the record, I don't think that anything makes a relationship more or less valid, other than the effort, love and respect both parties put into it. Certainly not time spent together before or after marriage is the only defining factor. In that, we agree.

Great. Thanks for saying.

[David & Diana R 1,005]

For the record, I don't think that anything makes a relationship more or less valid, other than the effort, love and respect both parties put into it. Certainly not time spent together before or after marriage is the only defining factor. In that, we agree.

Great. Thanks for saying.

I'm feeling all warm and fuzzy now. Group hug?? Life is great after all! God Bless you all! Aloha and Mahalo

Edited May 19, 2014 by David & Zoila

[David & Diana R 1,005]

Ahhh this is you on youtube. I have seen your videos before. Its good to put two and two together and im sure you have seen my videos as well. I think a lot of VJ members said it right when you know you know cause the heart knows what it wants and there nothing you can do when your heart meets the right heart of a woman.

You got a youtube link? My wife and I would like to watch your videos.

[JohnR! 5,495]

I'm feeling all warm and fuzzy now. Group hug?? Life is great after all! God Bless you all! Aloha and Mahalo

Right after we sing Kumbaya and take a couple of hits on some real Hawaiian gold...

Edited May 19, 2014 by Gegel

[David & Diana R 1,005]

Right after we sing Kumbaya and take a couple of hits on some real Hawaiian gold...

Maui wowee!!! Of course we will have to meet in Colorado for that. hahaha

Aloha

[llindsay 21]

You got a youtube link? My wife and I would like to watch your videos.

Here is our videos and link and I have also subscribed to your channel as well...Enjoy

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DNSfBqrk33w

[David & Diana R 1,005]

Here is our videos and link and I have also subscribed to your channel as well...Enjoy

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DNSfBqrk33w

Cool. Thanks so much. Really, really nice video. We also subscribed to your channel. Mahalo