leaving for Amman in the morning

[Cathi 5,746]

Hi everyone, we are leaving to head to Jordan in the morning, we planned several months ago and we will be gone 3 weeks. My husband's father has congestive heart failure, he is the the hospital and isn't doing very well, we know he doesn't have much longer. Also both of my children were supposed to go with us, and at the last minute my younger son who has Asperger's/Autism decided he doesn't want to go, he is 16 years old. Asperger's people have a difficult time with a change of environment or routine, he was just too anxious to leave and travel so far away. My ex-husband agreed stay with him in our home in the guest room so my son won't have the stress of having to go stay with him and his girlfriend, like I said, any new routine or change of environment can be VERY stressful for my son. I know my son will be Ok with his dad, and we will skype every day, but I am the center of my son's world and I just feel horrible. The guilt I feel having to leave me son behind is breaking my heart. But I also have to go to see my father in law, as he is very ill and we don;t think he has much longer to live, so if I don't go and something happens to my father in law I will feel guilty about not having gone to see him one last time. I am torn and sad and depressed, it's a lose lose situation. What was supposed to be a fun trip to visit family has turned into a stressful nightmare. My husband said he totally understands if I want to stay home with my son, but I think I need to go see his dad. Just wanted to share because all of my friends here in the MENA forum have always been so supportive...I'm just sad

[sara..... 371]

my mom also suffers from congestive heart failure ........will add you and your family to my prayers

sara

[cclr 6]

I'm sorry. You must be very stressed, it's not fun to be backed into a corner and not have any good choices. I wish you the best.

[LizzieBee 25]

So sorry to hear this. Any chance your Aspie will change his mind? I have a son with Asperger's as well and I can sometimes get him to change his mind if I calm his fears and talk him through things.

I totally relate to feeling like you're "damned if you do" and "damned if you don't." I feel that way all the time with my fiance. If I'm with him, I'm not with my kids. If I'm with my kids, I'm not with him. I always feel like my heart is broken into two pieces and I can never really put it back together into one whole.

I hope you figure things out for the best... and remember, whatever you decide, you are an amazing mother AND an amazing wife because you're so thoughtful and considerate of everybody's feelings in a hard situation.

[ErikaAndHamit 73]

Oh, that's such a tough one with no right or wrong answer. It really sucks. So sorry! My brother has Asperger's and lives with me and he is the same way and very tough to deal with at times. However, once he makes a decision like the one your son made, he would not be one to change his mind. I hope he will be OK with you gone and that your Skyping makes things better. I know you will feel uneasy the whole time, but try to enjoy what you can. Big hugs. <3