Removal of conditions. Husband,petitioner is sex addict.

[step1 1]

I have been married for almost 1 year to a US citizen

I've been suspicious of his behavior for 5 months, but a month ago I confirmed that he is a sex addict.

I received my conditional GC a month ago.

Can I leave him this early?

Would I be okay when I apply for ROC on my own?

things at home are unbearable. he is not the same person he was a few years ago when we started dating. A lot more has, and keeps happening, Im just trying to keep it short and simple on this forum. please ask me any questions if you have any.

I can't take this anymore. I feel sick

I have been going to therapy, but when I come home, everything is a mess.

Please help me

[Caryh 5,206]

You will certainly come under more scrutiny leaving the marriage 1 month after the green card arrives. So you'll need lots of evidence of intent to have a valid marriage. You mention therapy, has that included couples therapy?

[step1 1]

Hi Caryh

I am aware that it would he too early. But how much more do I need to suffer? I know its only been 5 months since I learned about his addiction, but now I'm suspecting he's exposing me to stds and other illnesses. isn't this bad enough?

We went to couples therapy once. but now he doesn't want to go anymore.

I met his family, and have photos. We have bank account and car insurance. health insurance. many friends that know our relationship and marriage is real.

You will certainly come under more scrutiny leaving the marriage 1 month after the green card arrives. So you'll need lots of evidence of intent to have a valid marriage. You mention therapy, has that included couples therapy?

[DJ&L 83]

I don' think he's saying it's too early...just that it's early enough that you'll get extra scrutiny.

If you're suffering and it's unbearable, then I suggest leaving now. Just make sure that you collect any and all information that would demonstrate that you entered into the marriage in good faith. It sounds like you're on the right track, in that regard.

Best of luck.

Edited May 15, 2014 by DJ&L

[Harpa Timsah 13,258]

Here is your other thread:

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/494742-form-i-751-same-sex-marriage-please-help/

You say you only lived with him for 4 months, and after that moved away and agreed to an open marriage.

No one here can tell you with any surety what would happen with your case. No one knows the facts and can say what USCIS will say.

You are free to leave him. Good luck.

[Caryh 5,206]

Yes, I wasn't saying you would not get a 10 year card, but they most likely are going to look closer at your case. Gather up all your evidence, including the evidence of attempted couples therapy, and get out of the relationship. I know I personally would not want to be in that situation, and would get out regardless of the green card. Look over the ROC faq here, and see the types of evidence people are using for removal of conditions. Those are the things you want to get put aside now. Also get the proof of therapy and couples therapy. No one can say if you'll be approved or not, we're not USCIS. Personally I would worry about the question of did you stay so long only for a green card? You story seems to back up that you've only stayed this long for the purpose of getting the green card. If they call you into an interview and ask that question, how will you respond?

[step1 1]

Hi Harpa and Caryh

We've been in a relationship for 2+years

We got married in september of 2013 and have been living together since.

in the time that we've been together, I started noticing strange behavior, a pattern, and that he was being intimate with a number of people, but he promised he would stop. This was happening in the process of getting the green card, we hadn't even gone to the interview yet, so by the time the interview came, I thought he would change because he promised he would, and I thought it was just one of those things that married couples go through, so I felt optimistic.

We still live together, though we don't sleep in the same bed anymore

He keeps saying everything will be fine, but thats just the addict speaking.

I can understand why USCIS would question me, but all I have is the truth, and cannot go back to a country where I haven't lived in many years and have no support. Of course I care about my GC. but to lose my marriage, and also a life that I deserve in this country , would be too much for me to handle.

Thank you guys

Here is your other thread:

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/494742-form-i-751-same-sex-marriage-please-help/

You say you only lived with him for 4 months, and after that moved away and agreed to an open marriage.

No one here can tell you with any surety what would happen with your case. No one knows the facts and can say what USCIS will say.

You are free to leave him. Good luck.

Yes, I wasn't saying you would not get a 10 year card, but they most likely are going to look closer at your case. Gather up all your evidence, including the evidence of attempted couples therapy, and get out of the relationship. I know I personally would not want to be in that situation, and would get out regardless of the green card. Look over the ROC faq here, and see the types of evidence people are using for removal of conditions. Those are the things you want to get put aside now. Also get the proof of therapy and couples therapy. No one can say if you'll be approved or not, we're not USCIS. Personally I would worry about the question of did you stay so long only for a green card? You story seems to back up that you've only stayed this long for the purpose of getting the green card. If they call you into an interview and ask that question, how will you respond?

[Eric-Pris 1,606]

So you found out about his addiction 5 months ago, but put up with it just in time to get the greencard and now you are leaving? That's the way immigration is going to look at it. Make sure you have a good reason why you were able to accept it for months but now that you have the GC, it's unbearable,

I firmly believe that this is the way immigration is going to come at you.

Another question: you met in NY, were you here on a tourist visa?

[step1 1]

Hi Eric

I can see why they would think that, but what was I supposed to do? in the process of getting the GC he promised he would stop and there were times where he would slow down enough for me to THINK he had stopped his behavior, so I believed him. but soon after the green card arrived he became worse and now he's out of the house with "other people" whenever he can. So now I have reasons to believe he never stopped, and that he has exposed me to stds and hopefully not hiv.

Ive read his text messages (tons of them, tons of people)

we met in ny over 2 years ago, I had been living in nyc for 7+ years as a F1

And I should say, its not just his compulsive sexual behavior, but on top of that, he's neglected me completely, and is only nice to me when he knows I know he is on his way to meet other people for sex. And now he refused to continue going to couples therapy.

Doesn't it sound like I'm trying my hardest to save my marriage?

yes, I just received my GC, which is rightfully mine, since I entered this marriage in good faith. but now it kills me to think that he was acting this way all these years.

how can i not be hurt/angry enough to just leave now?

So you found out about his addiction 5 months ago, but put up with it just in time to get the greencard and now you are leaving? That's the way immigration is going to look at it. Make sure you have a good reason why you were able to accept it for months but now that you have the GC, it's unbearable,

I firmly believe that this is the way immigration is going to come at you.

Another question: you met in NY, were you here on a tourist visa?

[lilsadie 50]

I hope I dont sound judgemental with this comment but... If you love someone. Like really LOVE them then things like mental health, addiction, etc can be worked out. Im not saying your situation does suck, because it does but if it is as you say an actual addiction can you not try to help him? 5 months is not enough time to really 'try'.

The Greencard isnt rightfully your either by the way. Its an absolute privilege that people are offered the chance to move to another country. It blows my mind that the USA allows people who have only know each other for a short while to get a greencard. This is the result, this and the 1000's of 'abuse' cases. Its a bit convenient that you now only want to leave because you have your greencard. Force him to go to a therapist. Try to understand the bigger picture of his issues. Addiction is never really about the actual action, there is always an under lying emotional issue.

[step1 1]

lilsadie

Im responding to you from an inflatable mattress in my living room, it is the 8th night that I've been sleeping here, and by the way, at my husbands request.

no one can tell me that i am not trying.

yes you are right that 5 months is not enough to really try, but who are you to judge.

I do understand the bigger picture of his issues, and would be forgiving and everything that he wants but outside the addiction, I don't think he loves me anymore. i mean he's said he doesn't want to even touch me.

I hope this doesn't happen to you. and don't be surprised like i was when if it does happen to you

as far as the GC being rightfully mine. I entered the marriage in good faith, and the USCIS knows this, hence the approval.

I hope I dont sound judgemental with this comment but... If you love someone. Like really LOVE them then things like mental health, addiction, etc can be worked out. Im not saying your situation does suck, because it does but if it is as you say an actual addiction can you not try to help him? 5 months is not enough time to really 'try'.
The Greencard isnt rightfully your either by the way. Its an absolute privilege that people are offered the chance to move to another country. It blows my mind that the USA allows people who have only know each other for a short while to get a greencard. This is the result, this and the 1000's of 'abuse' cases. Its a bit convenient that you now only want to leave because you have your greencard. Force him to go to a therapist. Try to understand the bigger picture of his issues. Addiction is never really about the actual action, there is always an under lying emotional issue.

[AnotherLostSoul 167]

I think Eric-Pris is right. The fact that you knew this for about 5 months, and as Harpa pointed out in your previous thread, you've been living with him for about 4 months...either way, regardless of your material documentations of joint lease, joint car insurance, bank statement USCIS will slap you in the face (or the back- I'm not sure how they go about on that one). They will want to know why you sticked out if you knew this for 5 months?? This indicates to them you were waiting to get your green card...if you discovered this about 5 months ago, you should have left him and go back to Chile....if your intention was not to immigrate to the US so bad. I'm not saying I believe you're commmitting immigration fraud, but USCIS may think this way, and you'll have a freaking hard time to prove otherwise since your history. The fact that you knew him for 2+ years almost bears nothing...it is easy to know someone for a long time...that itself will not save you at all when USCIS will decide whether you were just marrying him to be able to gain GC, or not. Good luck whatever you decide to do! All the best!

So you found out about his addiction 5 months ago, but put up with it just in time to get the greencard and now you are leaving? That's the way immigration is going to look at it. Make sure you have a good reason why you were able to accept it for months but now that you have the GC, it's unbearable,

I firmly believe that this is the way immigration is going to come at you.

Another question: you met in NY, were you here on a tourist visa?

[AnotherLostSoul 167]

By the way, many of us here are not trying to attack you at all, but rather saying you how USCIS will look at these. Take care!