Ownership

[sereia 0]

Well... since I'm the person you are referring to I suppose I should respond.

First of all, I think you should stop taking yourself so seriously. I would say its somewhat of a term of endearment. By NO WAY would I ever say or think I OWN someone. Thats a ridiculous thing to say. But then again you don't know me. But I somehow think most people wouldn't feel they OWN someone.....hmmmm...

How about when you call someone " your baby", "your sweetie", "your lover". Do you own them? And if "my moroccan" called me "my american" I would think it was funny... not offensive.

Unless your post really was a joke and I completely missed it? I almost find it hard to believe you sat here and thought about this and felt the need to make a post because you took it so seriously. haha!

Since I am allowed to post anything I want to, I did. Who are you to question my post. No it was not a joke. I do not find it as a term of endearment. Baby, Sweetie, Honey are terms of endearment. Grow up!

I came to this site for advice on getting MY MOROCCAN, MY LOVE, MY LIFE, MY FUTURE HUSBAND, MY.......or whatever term of endearment I make up and feel like calling him....to the US to be with me. It certainly isn't about ownership. Give me a break and lighten up. Grow up? Who am I to question your post? Who are you to tell me I am wrong for calling my fiance "my moroccan"? It looks like you are the one who needs the growing up to do.................

This is really the end of discussion for me. I'm not here to argue, but for advice, and to have fun. This really is a ridiculous conversation.

I wish you and YOUR fiance good luck.

[doodlebug 3]

Well... since I'm the person you are referring to I suppose I should respond.

First of all, I think you should stop taking yourself so seriously. I would say its somewhat of a term of endearment. By NO WAY would I ever say or think I OWN someone. Thats a ridiculous thing to say. But then again you don't know me. But I somehow think most people wouldn't feel they OWN someone.....hmmmm...

How about when you call someone " your baby", "your sweetie", "your lover". Do you own them? And if "my moroccan" called me "my american" I would think it was funny... not offensive.

Unless your post really was a joke and I completely missed it? I almost find it hard to believe you sat here and thought about this and felt the need to make a post because you took it so seriously. haha!

Since I am allowed to post anything I want to, I did. Who are you to question my post. No it was not a joke. I do not find it as a term of endearment. Baby, Sweetie, Honey are terms of endearment. Grow up!

I came to this site for advice on getting MY MOROCCAN, MY LOVE, MY LIFE, MY FUTURE HUSBAND, MY.......or whatever term of endearment I make up and feel like calling him....to the US to be with me. It certainly isn't about ownership. Give me a break and lighten up. Grow up? Who am I to question your post? Who are you to tell me I am wrong for calling my fiance "my moroccan"? It looks like you are the one who needs the growing up to do.................

This is really the end of discussion for me. I'm not here to argue, but for advice, and to have fun. This really is a ridiculous conversation.

I wish you and YOUR fiance good luck.

I agree with you totally. This thread was really obviously a jab at you and the OP is the one who needs to chill. Sorry you had to endure this when all you did was come here for help.

[limah 1]

My husband calls me his private property. And tells me that he owns me. I don't mind it. I actually like it. When is mother was here she told me to take care of my moroccan man. As I see it, he does it out of a sign of affection. My best friend and I have always called our boyfriends who have been from Morocco, "Our Moroccan Men." It's like when I was in high school and I dated a guy who lived out on a farm and participated in Rodeos I called him "My Cowboy." There's nothing wrong with sayign that. It's like saying "My Friend" and I am sure when you say "my friend" you are not saying you own your friend. You get what I'm saying?

I agree. What about when you refer to your husbands and wives as "my husband" or "my wife"?

My husband, when he signs off on a email or a letter to me, he closes with "my american wife" or "my american love".... I dont feel like my skin is changing green. (looking at my hands now....) Nope, I am certain its not. I think this is one of those personal things huh. I think its cute, 2, as somebody stated previously. I dont feel like my husband owns me, nor does he feel that way when I reply to him as my moroccan love.

But I must say, he does own my heart!

To each his own..........

Limah

[Caladan 19]

To me, at least, the difference between 'my husband' or 'my wife' or 'my friend', and 'my Moroccan/Canadian' or 'my Filipina' is that in some contexts (none of the ones common to women on VJ, really), it sounds like you're more interested in the person's heritage than them. (cf., 'how did you keep your Columbian wife from changing?' 'i hope you like your Russian bride as much as I like mine!')

It's different, I think with women (since there's no mail-order hubby phenomenon), and it doesn't quite register the same way as with some of the guys.

[PalestineMyHeart 1,897]

I think whatever couples want to call each other (when they both clearly enjoy it and agree to it) is their own business.

Not everyone may approve, and everyone is certainly free to draw their own private conclusions about it. I've heard some terms of "endearment" that I thought were pretty weird, but I'm not the person in the relationship -- I'm looking at it as an outsider. I'm not the one affected by it. As long as they both accept the terms for themselves, then who am I to make an issue out of it ?

It obviously hit a chord in the OP. And I can appreciate that -- I can very much understand the point she's trying to make. Maybe she's right about the dynamics of race/ethnicity/ownership/etc. in these particular cases. But maybe not.

It's just not our place to apply our own personal values to something like another couple's "terms of endearment." In the end, this subject is between a man and his wife (or a man and his fiancee) -- and it's just no one's business but their own.

-MK

[Sofiyya 1,687]

Let someone get upset about this.

I referred to my deceased husband as "my sexy import" and "my sexy Leb" because he was from Lebanon. I'm importing my current husband from Morocco, so he's "my sexy Moroccan import". Half my family is "imported" from somewhere in the ME/NA region, so, for us, it's no biggie and certainly not an insult to refer to a relative by their roots.

I'm a Palestinian on both sides, and I refer to myself as Palestinian, but a few days ago, folks were poppin in here to try to convince me I can't call myself Palestinian and insulting me for not agreeing with them. What the hell business is it of theirs what I call myself? We may be mostly Arab, but we're not all the same and we can acknowledge that with referrals to ethnicity or nationality. Roots are important to us. It's not racist nor does it have anything to do with psychological ownership in a healthy mind.

So, for yourself, or between a couple, what they call themselves or consider to be terms of endearment is up to them, and them alone. They don't need anyone else's approval to use their personal favorites. If you don't like a term, don't use it, but it's up to no one else to say they can't.

Edited January 13, 2007 by Green-eyed girl

[Ban Hammer 13,206]

I call my fiance "my Brazilian" sometimes. More often I call him "my ruivo" (Portuguese for redhead) or "my Paulista" (name for someone from São Paulo state). When I say it I mean it as a joke because it totally sounds like he's my pet. He calls me his gringa.

every time i say me and my brazilian, it sounds like just got back from getting myself put in severe agony

[brnidokiegurl 0]

In the beginning i said it did sound a little like a posession but i just caught myself where i used that same statement. I dont think at the time i meant as a posession was more or less saying in explanation to someone my guy from Morocco i doubt he would have minded, hes proud of where he comes from.

[cbd2cai 0]

I call my fiance "my Brazilian" sometimes. More often I call him "my ruivo" (Portuguese for redhead) or "my Paulista" (name for someone from São Paulo state). When I say it I mean it as a joke because it totally sounds like he's my pet. He calls me his gringa.

every time i say me and my brazilian, it sounds like just got back from getting myself put in severe agony

[cbd2cai 0]

I just talked to my husband and asked him if I could call him "My Egyptian" as I know that he isn't big on nicknames . . . he just started to laugh. Then I explained to him about why I asked and told him that I normally just say "ahmed" or "my husband" or sometimes "hubster" (try explaining that one, hehe). I asked him how he talked about me . . . saying "I hope you don't call me your American Wife" . . . he said he always says "Catherine, my wife".

So I guess we are "plain vanilla" when it comes to names!

CB2

[Marry American 0]

My fiance and me. Or my fiance and I . . .

That is how I will refer to him. Maybe even my man. But for sure, I will not say my Moroccan. To me the signals a sense of ownersip. How can one this day and age own another human being? I have been reading several messages and though not commenting, I have enjoyed them all. You guys seem to have some real online friendships going on.

My moroccan is just like saying my chinese girl, my Jamaican, my Russian, My African, my American. Is it just me or do these terms not sound right to others?

I started a post on my thoughts. It was not a personal attack on anyone on VP. Sorry some of you guys took it that way. I have a right to discuss anything I want on this forum just like everyone else does. My position remains the same. I will never refer to my fiance/ husband/man/ etc. as my Moroccan. Yes I call him baby/darling everyday. If I refer to him by his name-Omar, he thinks something is wrong. He will then ask me why am I calling him Omar, lol.

Exactly, to each his own. Everytime I have posted something on here, mostly people have a way of turning my meaning around and begin with insults. Hilarious. Is it that serious people. Not for me. I simply stated an opinion.

[Ban Hammer 13,206]

Exactly, to each his own. Everytime I have posted something on here, mostly people have a way of turning my meaning around and begin with insults. Hilarious. Is it that serious people. Not for me. I simply stated an opinion.

welcome to the mena forum just wait, it gets better.

as wom said, i don't think it's anyone's business what one refers to their so as. i've told nessa she can call me just about anything she wants but late for dinner

[Marry American 0]

Exactly, to each his own. Everytime I have posted something on here, mostly people have a way of turning my meaning around and begin with insults. Hilarious. Is it that serious people. Not for me. I simply stated an opinion.

welcome to the mena forum just wait, it gets better.

as wom said, i don't think it's anyone's business what one refers to their so as. i've told nessa she can call me just about anything she wants but late for dinner

Yes, I know we can call our guys whatever we want. It was just a post on my thoughts.

[brnidokiegurl 0]

Welcome to the VJ world check back tomorrow same story.

[moroccogirlny 100]

My fiance and me. Or my fiance and I . . .

That is how I will refer to him. Maybe even my man. But for sure, I will not say my Moroccan. To me the signals a sense of ownersip. How can one this day and age own another human being? I have been reading several messages and though not commenting, I have enjoyed them all. You guys seem to have some real online friendships going on.

My moroccan is just like saying my chinese girl, my Jamaican, my Russian, My African, my American. Is it just me or do these terms not sound right to others?

I agree with you and have often wondered why people refer to their spouses that way. They may not mean it but it sure sounds bad. Now where is my Jordanian, lol.

That is funny

I know that it is off the topic but just wondering how was Morocco...Its good to see you back and I hope that you had great time with your fiance...

Dorothy

I had a wonderful time with my fiance. He spoils me. I do not have to lift a finger for a change. It is so much fun just being catered too. I will want him to cook and clean for me here all the time. I do not think It will happen, lol. Thanks for asking.

Sounds like the honeymoon, lol. Looks like you be doing double tasks soon with a baby on the way, get that rest!