Things you'll miss from the UK, and how you'll compensate?

[chrismorrison 96]

Thank you both for your answers. I deeply appreciate it. I can only imagine what sort of sacrifice it is to uproot all you know for the sake of one person-and one thing that I made painstakingly clear to Kas before we started this whole process was for him to make sure that this was something he wanted to do, not just for us, but primarily for himself. However, despite that acknowledgement, I do know that he will be homesick and that the cultural adjustment won't come easy. He hails from London, a massive world city-while I live in Portland, a little big city-and one that just recently lost a 'Brit' due to him not liking it and the gay dating scene being painfully small (the CIO of Nike).

So, I sometimes find myself a bit lost as to what I can do to make sure he feels at home. One thing I have stressed on doing once he's here is having us move into a new apartment... some place that is not mine, with him moving in, but that's both of ours equally. I think with us moving into neutral ground, we can both start from scratch and it will be easier for us to intermingle our belongings/decorations/little touches that make us feel at home.

He's been to visit twice before we decided on doing this process. I wanted him to get a feel, albeit brief, of the area and to have him see if he could be happy here. While we haven't done all of the 'touristy' stuff, we have done quite a bit so that he can see the variety of pastimes this area of the country has to offer.

Luckily, my family has a fleet of cars, so he will be able to drive on his International license for a bit while we are waiting for his AP/EAD. We've also both looked at a variety of Brit Expat meetup groups in the area, and he'll go and attend those (with or without me, I'll let him decide)-so that he can start laying down new roots.

I just want to be as accommodating and supportive as I can. So, I thank you both for the offerings and ideas. I do also like the idea of giving him money without making him feel like it's an allowance. He's planning on bringing $5,000 over here to start with while he's waiting for his work permit-but who knows what may happen in the meantime.

Anyway guys, thank you both so much! I just am so happy that him and I found each other and I just want this transition to be as smooth as it possibly can be-so hearing others experiences makes it less challenging for me as well.

Edited February 2, 2015 by chrismorrison

[Nich-Nick 3,354]

Anyway guys, thank you both so much! I just am so happy that him and I found each other and I just want this transition to be as smooth as it possibly can be-so hearing others experiences makes it less challenging for me as well.

The neutral apartment is wonderful. My poor dear not only moved into my space, but because I was widow, it had been my former husband's space for ages. But after painting rooms, and repairing hurricane damage he had some "sweat equity" in the place and that helped. After a year, we moved to a new house in a new town so both had to find our way together. I did buy him a new car so he didn't have to drive my other husband's car too. He also drove on his UK license until he got EAD and a Texas license.

[RM1987 3]

This is probably a question that can't be answered (because there is no answer or because everyone is different, and no two answers are alike), but is there anything the USC can do to make the transition easier or more comforting for their foreign fiance?

I haven't been in the US for all that long but I think one of the things that has helped me is my husband having patience. Some of the changes are so small but put together with the other bigger changes can become overwhelming.

I definitely agree with Nich Nick, explain the little things, I was even shown our mail box as the mail doesn't get posted through people doors like in the UK!

It's also helped that my husband has included me in his 'routine.' I don't know about your situation but I moved into my husbands home which he had been living in by himself for nearly 8 years, he was used to cleaning, cooking, paying bills by himself but he made sure I knew when the bills were paid (and how they needed to be paid) even though I'm not yet working and can't help towards the bill paying and I cook and clean although he doesn't expect me to do it.

Edited February 2, 2015 by RM1987

[Pheebs1201 269]

This is probably a question that can't be answered (because there is no answer or because everyone is different, and no two answers are alike), but is there anything the USC can do to make the transition easier or more comforting for their foreign fiance?

There have been two threads on this recently which might interest you

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/529308-moving-to-the-us-from-the-uk/

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/531207-any-tips-for-adjusting-incoming-fiance-to-american-life/

[Holly2234 66]

Honestly i dont miss much any more. I could murder a gammon and chips from Wetherspoons but thats about it. Even then i worry that id get it on my plate and hate it since ive been eating ####### for the last two and a bit years.

When i first got here, i missed literally everything. Then when my relationship got rocky i was a bit numb to it all for a while because so much was going on that i couldnt think straight to start with never mind think about food or other people. After my life started to smooth out again it hit me pretty hard. I had been here about a year by that point. Ive never been one for wasting time on things i cant change so i threw myself almost completely into my career and ive done pretty well. I got two promotions within 6 months in a big Casino Resort and im in the management team in the hotel now.

I went from living with a loser who had promised me the world, working at pizza hut, walking everywhere because of having no car or licence and living in a bug infested apartment. Now i own my own home, two cars, good job and normal life achieved alone.

For the people who still miss the UK, it does get easier and those who are trying to make it easier for their spouse, i commend you for doing that. Looking back, part of the reason for the breakdown in my marriage was due to him not thinking twice about how i felt. He understood exactly what it felt like to be an immigrant and the process marked the beginning of him going home and me leaving mine. So as he got back to normal, he forgot all about me and the changes i went through.

[-Shana- 152]

Honestly i dont miss much any more. I could murder a gammon and chips from Wetherspoons but thats about it. Even then i worry that id get it on my plate and hate it since ive been eating ####### for the last two and a bit years.

When i first got here, i missed literally everything. Then when my relationship got rocky i was a bit numb to it all for a while because so much was going on that i couldnt think straight to start with never mind think about food or other people. After my life started to smooth out again it hit me pretty hard. I had been here about a year by that point. Ive never been one for wasting time on things i cant change so i threw myself almost completely into my career and ive done pretty well. I got two promotions within 6 months in a big Casino Resort and im in the management team in the hotel now.

I went from living with a loser who had promised me the world, working at pizza hut, walking everywhere because of having no car or licence and living in a bug infested apartment. Now i own my own home, two cars, good job and normal life achieved alone.

For the people who still miss the UK, it does get easier and those who are trying to make it easier for their spouse, i commend you for doing that. Looking back, part of the reason for the breakdown in my marriage was due to him not thinking twice about how i felt. He understood exactly what it felt like to be an immigrant and the process marked the beginning of him going home and me leaving mine. So as he got back to normal, he forgot all about me and the changes i went through.

While it's awful that your relationship didn't turn out like you expected it to, I commend you for turning your life around and making the most of life. It sounds like you're doing insanely well now and that's all thanks to you and no one else. Good for you! *salute*

[Nich-Nick 3,354]

I salute Holly too. I knew her on VJ way back getting the Visa and she was one of my favorites. Later we corresponded some and I remember her struggles. I felt so bad for her working late at that stupid Pizza Hut. I am so HAPPY to see her post.

Holly-- I still think about you.

You are one of the UK forum stars.

[Ketsuban 1,034]

I will miss crumpets, british cheese, yorkshire puddings, cornish pasties and cornish ice cream, chocolate like crunchie, galaxy etc, british tea though my fiance said america do have twinnings yay!! I will miss shops and such being within walking distance, public transport as I will move to a small town/village in America, then I will miss the bread even and the sweets!! lol

They do have Twinings, but I found I had to steep it for 5 minutes to even get a semblance of tea taste. They must put 1% tea and 99% fake tea into those bags or make them different somehow...

You can buy huge bags of tea on Amazon.co.uk and have it shipped internationally to you. I did that a while before I moved here and it cost about £30 for 480 Yorkshire tea bags. I'd be lost without them @_@

[Pheebs1201 269]

I have found Tetley Tea in our local Eriksons in Oregon... you get something like 80 bags for $5 and it tastes great!

Edited February 5, 2015 by Pheebs1201

[bellylaugh 14]

For me, the thing I miss most is being around people with the same set of cultural references as me. Recently, my husband sent me a link saying 'look at this insane car!' It was a reliant robin. He was astounded that it was a real car, that I had seen them (though very infrequently) on the roads in the UK. Then I started off explaining Only Fools and Horses (which, as I started talking about it, I realized was so, so, so British) and his eyes sort of glazed over. It's the kind of thing that is no big deal but I do miss being able to say things like "is that so and so who used to be in Grange Hill?" and not having to explain myself!

[N-o-l-a 7,167]

They do have Twinings, but I found I had to steep it for 5 minutes to even get a semblance of tea taste. They must put 1% tea and 99% fake tea into those bags or make them different somehow...

You can buy huge bags of tea on Amazon.co.uk and have it shipped internationally to you. I did that a while before I moved here and it cost about £30 for 480 Yorkshire tea bags. I'd be lost without them @_@

I'm 100% sure that I've bought Yorkshire tea in either Walmart or Target.

The Twinings does say something like at least 2-3 minutes. I keep my tea bags in the entire time I'm drinking tea, so anything short of a good 10+ minutes tastes like watery milk to me. I only drink their English Afternoon/Breakfast tea, though. It can be hard to find the Afternoon tea in stores, so I buy like 4 or 6 boxes at a time on Amazon.

[Cody and Daisy 373]

I don't get homesick here but oh I miss certain stuff.

My best friend sent me a package for Christmas because I had mentioned just a few things I was missing and couldn't find.

Branston pickle

Bisto gravy

Bournville chocolate

Still have plenty of gravy and one serving of branston pickle.

I miss so much English food. Everything is just processed and sugary and high in syrup here which has made me gain a few pounds.. A pound or two might be from the frosted doughnuts.. I do like those, and peeps... My lord I could just eat peeps all day every day and become obese and be very happy.

Marmite, tea cakes (sweet and savoury), Heinz tomato soup which I can't find anywhere and I tried Campbell's tomato and it was hideous, potato cakes, vimpto.

I found PG tips which is amazing but I've stopped eating sugar to lose the weight I gained so sweetners taste awful.

Proper sausages, real bacon, volvic lemon and lime water.

There's a lot more but heres a few non food items.

I miss public transport, there isn't any where I now live so I won't be able to work for a further six months whilst I learn how to drive which is ridiculous for someone who is 26...

I miss not everything being a drive through!

Busy places full of life... Don't get that here.

Cocktail bars.

Pubs.

Top shop.

Oh lord I could go on for days.

Edited February 8, 2015 by Cody and Daisy

[nobbie 105]

I do miss a proper pub, where folk stand about and natter about anything and nothing. I dont care for the "surround the bar with stools" approach so you can only converse with the people right next to you. Cant find any bars which allow dogs either which is a shame. I used to take my dog to the pub and she's sit on a bar stool while I stood next to her.

[wbeem 568]

They do have Twinings, but I found I had to steep it for 5 minutes to even get a semblance of tea taste. They must put 1% tea and 99% fake tea into those bags or make them different somehow...

When my then 6 year old first had Twinings in the US, she took a sip, looked at me suspiciously and asked, "Mom, did you even put the teabag in here?"

She's since adapted to non British tea over there and is quite happy with it.

[Cody and Daisy 373]

When my then 6 year old first had Twinings in the US, she took a sip, looked at me suspiciously and asked, "Mom, did you even put the teabag in here?"

She's since adapted to non British tea over there and is quite happy with it.

After reading more I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who finds American tea really weak!