Things you'll miss from the UK, and how you'll compensate?

[Hypnos 6,576]

I haven't been back in over a decade; I don't really miss it.

Sure, there are some things I don't like in the US, the biggest being all the guns everywhere. Another big one is the silly for-profit healthcare system here, which the Affordable Care Act improved but certainly didn't solve. This is where I've chosen to be though, for better or worse. It's my kids' home, and so by extension it must be mine, too.

Since I will be able to obtain a passport for my stepson if my adoption of him is approved at a court hearing next week, I'm sure I will start to hear from my parents about when I plan to bring the kids over. That, or some kind of emergency medical situation for my parents or sister would be essentially the only reasons I would return.

Edited June 7, 2014 by Hypnos

[Rebecca Jo 1,962]

Homesickness hit me hard today, harder than it has in years. I spent much of lunch looking at pictures of my old pub in Walberswick, where the former Mr Maven and I used to spend many hours drinking Adnams and reading the newspaper in companionable silence punctuated by the occasional chat. I thought of what it looked like when I emerged from St Paul's tube station, the quality of light streaking down Cheapside. The old Routemasters with the bare lightbulbs screwed in, sitting on the upper deck, back when there were still conductors and it's raining outside and you're a little cold and the conductor gives you 10p change from your pound because a bus ride's 90p back then and the smell of the upholstery in the wetness. 3am at the Troy Club in Hanway Street, 2002, the place a fug of smoke and sweaty Soho nastiness. Racing to get to Somerfield on a Sunday afternoon because it closed at 4pm. Cold little Boots tuna mayonnaise and cucumber sandwiches, maybe a cheese and onion one and OH I'd kill for a bag of Hula Hoops. Dawn on Parliament Hill. Sunset at some Notting Hill pub in August. Rushing from work on a Friday evening to get to the station -- there's a B&B in the Peak District to get to, Bakewell tarts tomorrow afternoon after a ramble.

I live in LA and I haven't owned an umbrella in years. It sort of makes me sad.

I've never more than visited London.............but etched in my head is this memory of turning around and unexpectedly seeing St. Paul's peeking over a nearby building. The sky was a bit grey as it had been raining off and on. I wasn't expecting to turn around and the see that great dome. It wasn't the typical postcard view. I was still caught in it all though. Then turned and raced off to whatever else was next.

[QueenComley 295]

I must be one of the fortunate ones that hasn't gotten homesick, not since I arrived here in the USA. The Other Half has never been able to understand how I can stand not visiting the UK in years.

Pooky Im so envious of how well you have adapted. is there any tips or advice you could offer us folk on how to combat the homesickness?

[Krikit 1,164]

Pooky Im so envious of how well you have adapted. is there any tips or advice you could offer us folk on how to combat the homesickness?

I'm going to be rude and cut and paste what I wrote in another group. I have to consciously shut those thoughts down when they enter my head. I do not want to live my life being tortured. It is what it is.

I had a co-worker in Canada who did nothing but talk about quitting her job and moving back to England. One day she did just that; sold her house and shipped everything over to her new house. She lasted a year before she came back. We (this group) are in a unique situation where we have left everything and have built new lives. We miss what we left but, if we went back, we would have to rebuild our lives again. I don't think I have the energy to do that any longer, and I'm not sure if I even want to.

Being human means we have the ability to adapt... it's the new normal. Sometimes I wish I'd never left, and sometimes I'm glad I did. I have a new appreciation for all sorts of things and it's nice that is part of my character now. The unknowns are what would have happened had I stayed. Perhaps I'd have been killed walking across the street the next day. Who knows? I look at it as where I am right now is where I am supposed to be. I'd like to think I'll go home, someday, but home changed the moment I left. If I dwell on the sad parts I won't be able to see the happy ones, so I have learned to acknowledge it and set it aside.

[Pooky 3,786]

Pooky Im so envious of how well you have adapted. is there any tips or advice you could offer us folk on how to combat the homesickness?

First and foremost, learn how to get your hands on real Cadbury's Dairy Milk chocolate. Seriously.

As the major earner, I made the decision that I was working to live, not living to work. I have worked maybe six weekends in the time I've been here. The Other Half, the Munchkin and the Menagerie deserve as much of my time as I can give them. And being a weekend parent only was an option for maybe half a second. I was getting one chance to be a father. The Munchkin deserved the mornings, the evenings and the weekends. My home is where my girls are.

Talk, listen and engage in every day life. Laugh a lot, at yourself, at others and life in general. Never go to bed leaving a disagreement unsettled.

Last, but definitely not least, remember where "home" really is. Is that where you were born? Is it where you grew up? Or is it where your heart is? I go with the heart every time.

In the end, though, any advice I might give can only help so much. A good many things factor into homesickness and the things that work for me might not apply to someone else. As long as you maintain a positive mental attitude, you can cope with almost anything.

[Beestonia 4]

I got pretty home sick whilst training in the Army even though Catterick wasn't far from Leeds and was probably one of the reasons I left. I regretted my decision the moment I stepped foot out of those gates. I look back now and the day I first spoke with my now fiancée I would of been in Afghanistan and I wouldn't change meeting her for anything in the world, I even cancelled an application for the Marines to do this K1 visa to be with her. The thing is, you just have to be positive and crack on and focus on the future.

[QueenComley 295]

First and foremost, learn how to get your hands on real Cadbury's Dairy Milk chocolate. Seriously.

As the major earner, I made the decision that I was working to live, not living to work. I have worked maybe six weekends in the time I've been here. The Other Half, the Munchkin and the Menagerie deserve as much of my time as I can give them. And being a weekend parent only was an option for maybe half a second. I was getting one chance to be a father. The Munchkin deserved the mornings, the evenings and the weekends. My home is where my girls are.

Talk, listen and engage in every day life. Laugh a lot, at yourself, at others and life in general. Never go to bed leaving a disagreement unsettled.

Last, but definitely not least, remember where "home" really is. Is that where you were born? Is it where you grew up? Or is it where your heart is? I go with the heart every time.

In the end, though, any advice I might give can only help so much. A good many things factor into homesickness and the things that work for me might not apply to someone else. As long as you maintain a positive mental attitude, you can cope with almost anything.

Thank you so much :-)

[Hotter Otter 1,211]

Pubs like this. Had a lovely day sat by the river drinking cider saying goodbye to two of my closest friends

[Krikit 1,164]

Pubs like this. Had a lovely day sat by the river drinking cider saying goodbye to two of my closest friends

So beautiful. I miss that too.

I got so excited when I saw this Irish pub not far from where we live:

http://www.mcmahonsirishpub.com/

Unfortunately, the food was dismal at best. Same goes for every other "pub" we've been to here, so I continue to be hopeful but with low expectations. Surprisingly, there is a very ugly bar in another town that says it's an Irish pub. The food is great but the atmosphere is.... well.... ugly. If those people would buy McMahon's it would be perfect.

Edited June 8, 2014 by Krikit

[rjm_cmyk 75]

A pub here (or in Helsinki or in Paris or wherever....) is never going to be the same as a Britpub. That said - how many Britpubs are left. Dahnn saarfff - they were fading away when I left and had watched many close - buckling under the weight of supermarket pricing, breweries and frankly a general trend away from pub drinking.

I love a good pub (and can still find them when I visit friends in the Midlands) but I think there is a nostalgia developing for them as they fade away. Sad for those of us that grew up with them but I suspect the new drinking generation is not doing it in smoky pubs.

In respect of home sickness - I will probably never feel that home is here - there's that core affection - call it nostalgia for where I grew up but my *life* and new family is here and I've taken the opportunity to completely change the shape of my life . Yes it helps having resources following the sale of property of the UK but I want to get away from the 6 day week I was working (in my own business) and enjoy life here in California. Been here for 6 months and not felt homesick but looking forward to seeing my family and friends in the UK. Hopefully they are looking forward to seeing me ...

[Hotter Otter 1,211]

British National Parks. Where ice cream vans lurk in the car parks even in winter when it's freezing and sheep decide to go to sleep on the road. Seeing people try to pretend they aren't miserable when it's lashing down with rain and gale force winds on a bank holiday Monday.

[Big Papa Zone 93]

You should try being a Pompey supporter.

As Consuela would say - no, no, no,,,,,,,,,,,,,

[Big Papa Zone 93]

. The Other Half has never been able to understand how I can stand not visiting the UK in years.

There's a fairly straightforward answer to that - you come from Portsmouth.

[Pooky 3,786]

There's a fairly straightforward answer to that - you come from Portsmouth.

At least she's wondering. If I was from Southampton, I wouldn't even have that.

[Big Papa Zone 93]

I've been here over five years now and I've never gotten homesick - the USA became my home the second I stepped off that plane in Minneapolis in March, 2009. I've never been back in that time and would have no intention of doing so either - if it weren't for my English wife!! And she's Northern too. Yorkshire more specifically, and despite her making all the right noises, I know damn good and well that she's zero intention of moving out here and it'll be me moving back home (for the benefit of our American viewers here, it's the opposite way round in the UK - the backward, six-toed, mongs all live in the North). And it's a good job I love the bones of her because frankly, I'm pi$$3ed right off about it. I love it here. All the American women right here and I have to go and fall for a bird from Rotherham!

That being said, yes, it'll be nice to have a correctly sized pint in a country pub (she lives near the Peak District), some proper chips from a high street chippy, and some roast lamb. But my God, I'll soon be pining for some decent burgers, Kansas City BBQ, and the big V8 that I can actually afford to drive here!

Oh, and btw folks, I sent off my N-400 today. How ironic that the first thing I'll be doing once I've attained U.S. citizenship is ###### off home (if she leaves me I'll be on the first flight back - guaranteed).