In the Kitchen with Hannibal Dexter: Rant a Fromage

[oohpartiv 484]

In need of annoying foreign spouse advice.

When hubs and I moved, I made it clear we would be sending no stipend or expensive gifts back to the homeland, except on the occasion that we'd go back to visit, in which case we could bring back gifts (though nothing outrageous, like tablets or smart phones). At that time, hubs agreed. Recently MIL has been nagging for a smart phone and now hubs wants to cave and buy her one. It would need to be an unlocked version, which is always more expensive. This would also imply we'd pay for international shipping. I am absolutely against it and we got into a big argument last night over it. Please be aware:

1. Hubs' family lives perfectly comfortable in Ecuador. FIL has a taxi, both BILs have jobs, the family owns a private gym, they own their house, food is never out of stock, they have a computer, TV w/satellite, SIL has a samsung tablet, they all have cell phones, etc.

2. If they were really in need of something important (food, clothes, etc) I would be more than happy to help.

Hubs insists I "do not understand the cultural implications". Am I out of line for being unwilling to by my MIL an unnecessary luxury item when we're trying to save money for ourselves? How would you guys deal with this? Maybe some outside opinions can keep me from strangling hubs over this.

Edited May 17, 2014 by oohpartiv

[NikLR 13,232]

I can't say I'm going to be much help. I agree with you, but I'm from Canada not a Latin country and my family wouldn't ask for anything unless they needed it to live.

[Asia 2,499]

I don't get it either Asia. In Canada it's the same thing, you must show photo ID to vote. No one fusses, it's the same for a city, provincial, or federal election. Not asking for it is simply, imho, saying it's okay to pretend to be a USC.

People at Target look at me like I'm crazy when I ask for ID for certain OTC meds and yet you don't have to show ID to vote... Something is wrong here...

LOL

Over here you're being asked for ID while buying alcohol

They should check if you're at least 18 years old.

Tho I was 30 and sill had to show my ID to buy vodka

[oohpartiv 484]

I can't say I'm going to be much help. I agree with you, but I'm from Canada not a Latin country and my family wouldn't ask for anything unless they needed it to live.

My family is the same way - even to the point that they probably wouldn't ask me even then, but would go to a friend or another relative. I guess this is why I'm having a hard time getting why SIL thinks she's just entitled to these things without having to work for them. Edited May 17, 2014 by oohpartiv

[Asia 2,499]

In need of annoying foreign spouse advice.

When hubs and I moved, I made it clear we would be sending no stipend or expensive gifts back to the homeland, except on the occasion that we'd go back to visit, in which case we could bring back gifts (though nothing outrageous, like tablets or smart phones). At that time, hubs agreed. Recently MIL has been nagging for a smart phone and now hubs wants to cave and buy her one. It would need to be an unlocked version, which is always more expensive. This would also imply we'd pay for international shipping. I am absolutely against it and we got into a big argument last night over it. Please be aware:

1. Hubs' family lives perfectly comfortable in Ecuador. FIL has a taxi, both BILs have jobs, the family owns a private gym, they own their house, food is never out of stock, they have a computer, TV w/satellite, SIL has a samsung tablet, they all have cell phones, etc.

2. If they were really in need of something important (food, clothes, etc) I would be more than happy to help.

Hubs insists I "do not understand the cultural implications". Am I out of line for being unwilling to by my MIL an unnecessary luxury item when we're trying to save money for ourselves? How would you guys deal with this? Maybe some outside opinions can keep me from strangling hubs over this.

Two questions:

1. Can't MIL buy a smart phone over there? Don't they have them in Ecu? I think your hubs family can afford it, since they're not poor

2. Didn't you paid for hubby's surgery some time ago? Didn't you have to save before that? Meaning, you don't have any free money to buy expensive toys for others...

[oohpartiv 484]

Two questions:

1. Can't MIL buy a smart phone over there? Don't they have them in Ecu? I think your hubs family can afford it, since they're not poor

2. Didn't you paid for hubby's surgery some time ago? Didn't you have to save before that? Meaning, you don't have any free money to buy expensive toys for others...

1. Yes, she could. They have them down there, albeit a bit more expensive than up here, but available all the same.

2. His surgery was only a month ago, and besides paying that off, we're paying off previous medical debts from all the ENT visits, tests, CAT scans, etc. So, my point exactly: no extra dough to be splurging on others, much less for unimportant electronics.

I'm trying to understand where hubs is coming from here, and failing.

[NikLR 13,232]

Ask him if this can wait until a major holiday as you have other expenses right now.

[SAT 9,609]

My family is the same way - even to the point that they probably wouldn't ask me even then, but would go to a friend or another relative. I guess this is why I'm having a hard time getting why SIL thinks she's just entitled to these things without having to work for them.

3 words my dear friend Part4...

Welcome-to-my-world!

[Merrytooth 5,748]

Not sure if you co-mingled your finances totally, but if he wants to buy expensive stuff for his family back home, the money should come from his side so that he would feel the pinch.

Try compile a list to expenses you have to pay off. Show the in-laws the medical bills you guys have to pay for hubs ear treatments, see if they would offer to help (probably they would not) or back off for asking new stuff.

3 words my dear friend Part4...

Welcome-to-my-world!

You are a rich bottomless gold mine, Part 4 is not

[Asia 2,499]

2. His surgery was only a month ago, and besides paying that off, we're paying off previous medical debts from all the ENT visits, tests, CAT scans, etc. So, my point exactly: no extra dough to be splurging on others, much less for unimportant electronics.

My opinion: if your hubby has some extra money after paying a monthly rate of all his medical expenses, he should pay next month rate this month, to pay those expenses off quicker. And then he'll be able to buy his mother some expensive and not-needed-at-all toy quicker.

Sorry if that's harsh.

Not sure if you co-mingled your finances totally, but if he wants to buy expensive stuff for his family back home, the money should come from his side so that he would feel the pinch.

You are a rich bottomless gold mine, Part 4 is not

1) Totally agree!

2) Definitely!

[NikLR 13,232]

3 words my dear friend Part4...

Welcome-to-my-world!

Did you count those words Steve???

[Ontarkie 14,539]

You face him forward in the car seat, at this age & size? Ah -- Arkansas, not Texas, see man.

What a cutie, wee man!

At exactly Many months of age (40), Mini-B. weighs Many lbs. (34).

He faces forward, backwards and sideways when in the house. He will be rear facing till at least 2. The only reason Alexis is forward facing is we can't get the carseats to fit right with both rear facing, and we turned her just before Lucas was born so she was almost 3.

And this is all too rare these days, so it's a little crumb of happiness. By the way, I remember poignantly being told the exact same thing as you were, countless times. Now, I'm gainfully employed so that Mrs. T-B. can spend it all, whee man.

Messed you up bug time? What kind of bugs?

In whose face are you going to smash the coconut cream pie?

Bummer. Do you know how many phones Mrs. T-B. has lost, broken, or exchanged because she didn't like them? The exact number is Many.

The no sleep bug has really messed me up.

I don't get it either Asia. In Canada it's the same thing, you must show photo ID to vote. No one fusses, it's the same for a city, provincial, or federal election. Not asking for it is simply, imho, saying it's okay to pretend to be a USC.

People at Target look at me like I'm crazy when I ask for ID for certain OTC meds and yet you don't have to show ID to vote... Something is wrong here...

No no.. he's not faced forward, he's in an infant seat that's not in the car.

He is so adorable.

Momma.... keep those straps tight and chest clip up. (I be da carseat nazi... lol)

Chest clip and straps were readjusted before we left the house. Alexis is always messing them up. for her dolls.

Tarklar = tard

What I wanna know is how Stretch fastens that infant seat to the back of a pick up......

I been cleaning the back yard since about 8 or 9.... All kindsa weed and stuff...

Man I need a coolie.....

I bolted the seat base. Gees!

[Asia 2,499]

Did you count those words Steve???

Yeah, that's Many words!

[Novembro 1,763]

In need of annoying foreign spouse advice.

When hubs and I moved, I made it clear we would be sending no stipend or expensive gifts back to the homeland, except on the occasion that we'd go back to visit, in which case we could bring back gifts (though nothing outrageous, like tablets or smart phones). At that time, hubs agreed. Recently MIL has been nagging for a smart phone and now hubs wants to cave and buy her one. It would need to be an unlocked version, which is always more expensive. This would also imply we'd pay for international shipping. I am absolutely against it and we got into a big argument last night over it. Please be aware:

1. Hubs' family lives perfectly comfortable in Ecuador. FIL has a taxi, both BILs have jobs, the family owns a private gym, they own their house, food is never out of stock, they have a computer, TV w/satellite, SIL has a samsung tablet, they all have cell phones, etc.

2. If they were really in need of something important (food, clothes, etc) I would be more than happy to help.

Hubs insists I "do not understand the cultural implications". Am I out of line for being unwilling to by my MIL an unnecessary luxury item when we're trying to save money for ourselves? How would you guys deal with this? Maybe some outside opinions can keep me from strangling hubs over this.

I guess I don't get cultural stuff either, but I would not feel obligated to do that.

Angus ate a glass test tube

[Asia 2,499]

Angus ate a glass test tube

He really gives a new meaning to "dog food"