In the Kitchen with Hannibal Dexter: Rant a Fromage

[TBoneTX 45,288]

I wish I was taller, cause I'm too heavy for my height

What did I say just above, huh ma'am?

[TBoneTX 45,288]

1. 15 or 20 lbs

2. I'm 150lbs and 5'4, so according to the BMI scale (which is highly inaccurate) 20 lbs too much.

Many. I'd be happier 10lbs lighter

Many. You're smaller than 80-90% of the american women.

Many. at 140lbs i can wear a size 6.

Many. 10 lbs more and unfit and I'm a 10/12.

Many. anything smaller than a size 4 IMHO, looks almost anorexic.

1. Many or Many lbs

2. You're Many lbs and Many'Many, so Many lbs too much

Many. You'd be happier Many lbs lighter

Many. J. is smaller than Many%-Many% of American chicas

Many. At Many lbs you can wear a size Many

Many. Many lbs more and unfit and you're a Many/Many

Many. Anything smaller than a size Many

---

Youse guys have GOT to learn math, or you'll exhaust me! It is important that the Internet feature correct information, see man.

[TBoneTX 45,288]

How is Mini-B today? Is he feeling better?

He had a fever of Many (briefly hit Many, or 104 F.) during the night, but it broke, and he was feverless for most of today until eve. Mrs. T-B. nuked him with more children's ibuprofen, so we'll see how he does. If fever still present tomorrow, to the doc, wee man. Thank you for asking, si ma'am.

Yeah I remember that I felt ike a supermodel while visiting NYC

Fotos of supermodels or they didn't happen, oj nie.

I got J a veggie steamer. 4 dollaz and fiddeen cent

(Math errors ignored temporarily) At a GS, huh man?

You want 150 Niki pics?

Does Tiff know?

(Math error temporarily ignored) Where's my +Many button, huh man?

Tbone will be likes - GS - 25cents!

What?! Many cents?!!!

Wait till T-B sees that price

[indignant tone] That rip-off is not a laughing matter, oj nie!

[TBoneTX 45,288]

Right now,Tark is arguing with some fat old lady in a sleeveless kitchen table cloth dress about the price of a used sock...

That was yesterday, see man.

Today was (drum roll for Thread Laundress report) Many laundry loads cunningly condensed into Many, see man. A big help was the prescient decision to warsh the kitchen rags separately last night, see man.

<shrugs> soy sauce?

That narrows it down immensely, brilliant man.

[TBoneTX 45,288]

Camel flu....that's that new disease that's killed hundreds. In the Mideast....camel SARS....

The Saudi Arabian govt has warned people not to touch camels. And don't have sex with them.

Camelpox has been around for years, too.

---

Mesa Official Cited in Bestial Acts with Lamb

By Mike Branom, Tribune

March 7, 2006

A Mesa deputy fire chief is on paid leave after being accused of bestial acts with his next-door neighbor's lamb. Maricopa County sheriff's deputies took LeRoy Johnson, 52, into custody at his Gilbert home on Saturday.

The 26-year veteran was booked on suspicion of disorderly conduct, trespassing and public sexual indecency, all misdemeanors, spokesman Lt. Paul Chagolla said. Johnson was released from jail on his own recognizance on Sunday.

The arrest came after the neighbor and another man said they found Johnson in a small barn in the 1200 block of East Catclaw Street; his pants were down as he held the small, young ewe to the ground, the men told deputies, according to the sheriff's report.

When deputies confronted Johnson, they said he admitted to trespassing in his neighbor's barn but denied doing anything else -- although he did state, "I probably do need some help, but I don't know if this is the time or place for it."

Johnson is in charge of the fire department's communications, mapping and records management.

His arrest came as a shock.

"He's been a great employee," assistant chief Mary Cameli said Monday. "It's surprising to everybody."

Calls to the homes of Johnson and the lamb's owner went unanswered Monday night.

The incident began Saturday afternoon when a 13-year-old girl told her father that a strange man knocked several times on the front and back doors. She then saw the man enter the home's corral where the sheep are kept, grab one, and drag it into the barn.

The father and friend entered the barn and spotted Johnson, who immediately admitted to trying to have sex with the sheep because he had too much to drink, the report states. He was told to leave, but the neighbor said he called 911 when he suspected that Johnson returned.

Deputies went to Johnson's home and, after a conversation during which he denied everything except being in the barn, he was arrested.

Fourteen states do not have laws against bestiality, Arizona among them. That distresses Sheriff Joe Arpaio, who said he will ask the Legislature next year to enact such a law.

"And if they don't," Arpaio said, "I'm going to the people."

In the state of Washington, lawmakers recently passed a bill making bestiality a felony punishable by up to five years in prison and a $10,000 fine. The measure was prompted by the death of a Seattle man last summer after he had sex with a horse.

The Washington bill is awaiting the governor's signature.

just took a loooong nap. Good nap.

There is no such thing as a non-good nap, no man.

Spent most of today catching up on films about the West Memphis Three.

Who are the West Memphis Many, huh ma'am?

Whats a bubba burger?

A favorite of Arkansas cannibals, see D ma'am.

There is definitely bread under $3 that has no corn syrup.

If I buy a loaf for more than a buck, I feel cheated.

[TBoneTX 45,288]

yeast on the counter indefinitely.

Reading pages upon pages of half-baked stories is the yeast of my interests, see men. Can we please return to too much information about female reproductive issues?

[TBoneTX 45,288]

soylent green bread

Or use Bro D.'s recipe.

[TBoneTX 45,288]

Mrs. T-B. was initially exhausted and rather housebound today in regard to Mini-B., so I took Mini-B. to Mama T-B.'s in late morn for what turned out to be Many minutes. Mini-B. brought her a daisy-type flower with a thin ribbon tied around it, and dutifully said, "Happy Mother's Day, Grandma." Mama T-B., who is already over the moon about her descendant, of course went grandma-whacko and kissed the hell out of Mini-B. at great length. Fortunately, Mini-B. is too young to be embarrassed by this sort of thing.

I stayed over there. Mrs. T-B. reported that she actually took a nap, instead of using the time to play on Facebook or natter on the phone in Spanish with her zillion friends or relatives.

For dinner, I went to the supermarket and brought home a very freshly roasted pollo (chicken -- mesquite BBQ) and a tub of macaroni salad, and we pigged out, eat man.

---

I must sadly arise at o'dark-thirty (or, if you will, o'dark-many) because of something called Work, raspberry man. I shall therefore soliloquize less than usual, cat, prep, and zzz, man. Mornin', GOOD Asia!

Edited May 12, 2014 by TBoneTX

[Asia 2,498]

Morning!

[Asia 2,498]

I confirm lol

Put the bread in the freezer.

It'll stay fresh

That's what I'm doing. And that way I'm having fresh bread everyday

[Asia 2,498]

"The email" would be this one....

"Hi, I'm going to NY, and...I'm not coming back. Bye"

:rofl:

That would be a follow up of THE email

[Asia 2,498]

killing you softlyyyyyy

with my postsssss

killing you

softllyyyyy

with my poooooOOOOOsSSStttSSSS

That wine surely tastes wonderful!

[Asia 2,498]

####### Eurovision winner

The Netherlands were right behind him.

[Asia 2,498]

Fotos of supermodels or they didn't happen, oj nie.

[SAT 9,609]

Asia was taller way back when......