How to deal with my anxiety through this whole process :|

[nobbie 105]

Get used to waiting, that said your wait time will be fairly short, we were waiting on 129F for almost 6 months, no RFE's just how long it took last year. Even if you get an RFE (and I doubt you will) it will still be quick.

Just look now at the next stage and get ready for that, so when it comes you will be prepared and don't need to worry. The people you will deal with are just people, they are not out to deny, they are just the same as you and I.

[Soapies 18]

after that.. it's pretty much been smooth sailing up until the point where it was my fiancé's turn to do his part...

OMG lol!!! I know exactly how that is! You know on one hand I'm happy I'm the one that has to do the interview and the physical and what ever else have you ... and that his part is pretty much done. (Aside from a few more papers, we will probably fill out together online and then he will print and sign lmao) ... But yeah, he's a "don't worry about it, whatever will be will be" kinda guy and that stresses me out even more :|

I've already graduated college (4yrs, two programs), I've just recently learned how to drive and got my license (that sort of added to the stress of things, but it was nice to stress about something different, I guess lol!) ... And it's hard to want to do anything when I'm working full time in what feels like a highschool drama every damn day lol (retail, amiright? )

The people you will deal with are just people, they are not out to deny, they are just the same as you and I.

That's what my family keeps telling me and it's definitely something I do have to keep reminding myself. :|

-----

Maybe I should open up my work computer and start designing some things ... be productive... Maybe start my own website detailing my experiences through this whole thing ...

I already feel a million times better. Thanks for welcoming me to this site!

Edited May 4, 2014 by Soapies

[asianculture 14]

Let me start off by saying I love this website, and it has been a HUGE help for me since I am ... as I'm sure all of you are ...new to this entire process.

So, my story ... so far...

My fiance proposed on his recent visit here to Canada last month in April... As soon as he left I started getting our packet together and ready for him to send out. It took a week of obsessing over every little detail ... the cover letter, making sure it was all in order, the passport style photo in a plastic baggy, attached to a blank piece of paper ... signing and dating absolutely everything ... photocopying all of our letters, printing 4x6 photos of us at walmart, labelling, dating, describing every single one of them ... gathering copies of chat logs and ... oh god. It has been one heck of a ride and we're only just beginning.

And well, I have an anxiety disorder and I currently don't take any medication for it. (I can't bring myself to spend $50 a month for something that, lets be serious, I should be able to manage... )

So, I put as much of this package together as I possibly could (being the beneficiary). I sent it out to my fiance for him to add his biographic information and passport photo... And for him to sign everything, date it. add the cheque, etc... I was panicking, worrying he was going to forget to sign something, or that he was going to fill in the wrong sections of the form... Or misplace a piece of paper ... I don't know why, an RFE really isn't so bad. This entire process is going to take a year, so what's another month during that, really? It got to a point where he was getting upset with me because I was stressing him out. And we would start to argue with each other, because it didn't seem (and still doesn't seem) like he's taking this things seriously.

But I am waking up in the middle of the nights sweating, panicking. Thinking about everything that could go wrong. A bit fat "DENIED" all over our application.

And then today it hit me. He didn't write his name on the back of his passport photo. When I asked him, he got really upset at himself because he overlooked that. If he had only taken this as seriously as me??? And stopped telling me that I was freaking out and that everything will be just fine... Grrr!

SO now I'm wondering if I will get an RFE for that. We were sooooooo detailed with everything else. His photo is in a plastic baggy, labelled "Photo of (my fiances name)" .. and we also included a photocopy of his passport card along with the birth certificate (I like to be thorough).

Since they use that passport photo as photo I.D. to put a face to the name ... Could they compare the photo to his passport card ... and would that be sufficient?

How do I stop worrying so much? We literally just sent the package out today. ... I'm thinking maybe I should start on those anxiety meds again, because this amount of stress can't be normal.

Am I worrying for nothing?

Holy ####### how do you guys do it, this process is terrifying. And I don't even know why, I love my fiance so much and I want to be with him.

Some advice from you guys who have gone through this would be amazing. And any hiccups you guys ran into ?

I think everyone is going through the same feeling and it is normal to be that way but what I am doing recently is to focus on the positive side, imagining that this process will have a happy ending and I will be with my fiance soon.

DO NOT FEAR THE. UNKNOWN.

Make yourself busy at work, read a book. , exercise and find something that will distract you from thinking too much, and the rest will fall into places.

GOD bless and Good luck!

[PallasAthena 101]

The good thing about doing the K-1 is that it's faster than the CR-1 / IR-1 process.

This entire process is not easy and it's not for the faint of heart.

Good luck with your visa journey and we're here for support!

[MichelleRenee 14]

I think everyone going through this process has severe anxiety! I know I sure do at least! I spent so much time making sure every little thing was right on every form, but I was still certain I would get an RFE. After I sent my package, I obsessed over it. I forgot to make a copy of my G-325A and I wasn't sure on what I wrote for a certain employment date, and I was constantly thinking about getting an RFE and having to resend the form and then the dates wouldn't match up and they would think I was lying and I would get in big trouble or get denied!! It kept me up countless nights and made me sick to my stomach to think about. But guess what? We got NOA2 after 90+ days and no RFE! It seems that all the silly little worries that seem huge turn out to be the former.. silly little worries.

I would always try to distract myself with wedding stuff, but it actually stressed me out more. Are we going to city hall or having an outdoor ceremony? Who are we going to invite? Should we just elope? Would we regret that? Are his parents going to make it? If my mom is there, will my dad still come? Are we going to have enough money for it? MY BRAIN!! It was nonstop thoughts followed by nonstop anxiety and stress. I finally told myself to stop thinking about anything regarding the wedding and just wait until NOA2 came through, because the stress of dealing with both at the same time was taking its toll. I knew I was overreacting and it took a lot of deep breaths and conscious thoughts to make it stop. I forced myself to be mindful of my thoughts and try to control them when those negative thoughts started sneaking in.

I did find VJ to be incredibly helpful. Reading other peoples stories, learning more about the process, knowing I'm not alone.. All of those things helped ease my mind. I think you should try to distract yourself here and take it day by day. Try to relax! Which is so easier said than done, but one day we will all look back on this and go, "Why the hell was I so worried?!"

[rjsteodosio 4]

Its nice that we're all able to learn from each other and help each other.. Otherwise we'd go completely insane LOL...

[AnotherLostSoul 167]

I would say start taking your meds. It'll solve a lot of problems. That 50 dollar you're trying save by not getting your drugs will be NOTHING compared to how much you'll have to spend on this immigration procedure. You'll be wishing you had to pay only $50 per month!!! The rest is up to USCIS to decide and no point of thinking about it for more than you need to for filling out the paperwork. If your application fails and your fiance really loves you, you guys will find a way to live together. Whether here in the US, or back in Canada, or in a third country.

[Maritah 101]

Its nice that we're all able to learn from each other and help each other.. Otherwise we'd go completely insane LOL...

Im totally agree... the waitingsick its terrible if we think too much about it.

Hugs to all!

[chiggins82 88]

I just filed the I-129F with my fiance and it was stressful. Especially because we assembled it with me in Canada and him in the US. What helped us (and we will be doing for this whole process) -- we made a shared google drive folder and we keep everything in there. He assembled the package and scanned it so I could review on my own and then we updated. We also made a timeline in there to track and a budget so we can plan how much it's going to cost in the end and when we need to make sure we have money ready. This also gives me things to do while I am waiting.

We had a few arguments while assembling the package, but now there is nothing more you can do, but wait. I wish the processing times at UCSIS were more clear, but this site really helps.

For some reason my fiance has much easier time than I do with this. He never checks his case status, doesn't seem so worried about it. I check it every day and obsessively read blogs, articles, and message boards. To each their own

Hope things goes nice and smooth for you Soapies! At worst an RFE will just delay things a bit.

[Yhemi 0]

the waiting is much worse when you have things to do like writing exams!!! its so hard to get my mind off it, I had to sign up here just to rant a little

[Papetica09 16]

Jaja! You sound just like me “ you just don’t take this seriously” !! This is not a game Amaury!! Lol.. He tells me all the time relax, because I’ve been working in putting our package together a month and half now…Cus, everything hs to be perfect (according to me) I think as women we are more detail oriented and we get overwhelmed easily. At work, whenever I have time to read other ppls experiences and errors it actually helps me prepare better. Read, read, read and prepare for the next step!

Good Luck!!

[Ilovemyman 147]

Jajajajaveverybody pass the same in this process.

When my fiance and me started the process, I almost died when he told me: I sent the petition.

I almost died, because he only sent the check and the form I-129f. Nothing else.

I was driving me crazy, all the time we had argument for that, I was waiting a deny.

But 3 months later he got a leter asking for all the papers missing, he sent them, and one month later they approved.

I had my interview on march 18, I was approved but I am in ap , now we are dying for that, because we thought be toguether on april.